Why the hell did they even bother??

[fembuck]

Paris Hilton is out of jail as we've all heard by now, and while I'm not shocked I am pretty fucking disgusted and just wished they had never even bothered pretending that she was going to be treated like anything but a precious little princess.

The Reason For Paris' Release
Paris was apparently suffering from severe panic attacks and depression, where she even became suicidal. Towards the end of her stay, Paris began, what others call, a nervous breakdown. Her psychiatrist was so concerned for her well being they did everything possible to get her to a place in which was comfortable for her and her health.

*facepalm*

Best Response To The "News"

What do we have, voluntary fucking prisons in LA now? No shit she didn't like it and freaked out, that's the point. I'm surprised they didn't just lock her up inside Magic Mountain. "I sentence you to 30 days on Viper and Goliath, and at night you will be confined to Bugs Bunny World where you will be served funnel cakes and those Batman shaped popcicles. The grape ones. I think they have strawberry too and I guess you can have those if you want..."

And

Only the starfuckers who run the LA county sheriffs department would say she was not released early with a straight face. She went from prison to a mansion. I'm not technically an architect, but those don't sound like the same thing. And I'm sure this sentence will get cut in half too. By tomorrow, they'll take off the house arrest ankle bracelet and replace it with the Congressional Medal of Valor, and they'll do it in one of those big ceremonies like at the end of Star Wars.

from What Would Tyler Durden Do?

I wish Sarah Silverman were around to mock Paris some more, but really the joke is on all of us.

Comments

[padawanmage.livejournal.com]

What do we have, voluntary fucking prisons in LA now?

*snort!* Apparently. I see her getting a lot of abuse from the public the next time she shows her face.

[amluv.livejournal.com]

(rolls eyes)...this is worse than the "twinky defense"...boy i bet lil kim is pissed...she probably wouldn't have to do that time in the federal pen if she told everyone she was suffering a nervous breakdown...just proves that l.a. is just a town full of cocksuckers...

[angharad_gov.livejournal.com]

it's the la sheriff's department and lee baca's fault. everyone in town is pissed that yet another rich person gets off with nothing but a light slap while jane normal, if she were in the same circumstance, would have stayed the full term. i'm sure the judge that sentenced her and specifically said that house arrest wasn't an option is gonna have some words with sheriff baca about letting miss princess go and serve time in her gigantic mansion rather than in a prison cell.

[novak_fan]

yeah, it sucks but money talks :(

Paris is as famous as OJ Simpson.

[zee014.livejournal.com]

I walked into a coffee shop today and when I looked up at the TV, I thought they were showing past clips of OJ's Simpson's white Bronco chase.

I wish.

It was an aerial view of Paris Hilton's house shot from a helicopter that's waiting to catch a glimpse of her walking to a cop car. What a waste of fuel and piloting skill.

I had a helicopter flying over me at the DMV the other day, waiting for me to come out to get a glimpse of my trademark hair flip. But the DMV took so long (surprise surprise) that the helicopter ran out of fuel and crashed. But at least I'm worth it. My hair flip is gold.

Why are we still giving this skank so much attention? It almost feels like it was all done on purpose just so the news could have something to talk about for hours and hours besides the boring pressing issues of the world.

What's worse is that Paris will be more famous and will be in the media more now than what she was before. She'll probably write a book about it and end up making millions off this whole fucking thing too, which is just disgusting. I'm with you on the "so no surprised" front.