The Hollows: I did it! I finished WWBC (and I only hate my life a little)

[fembuck]

Okay, so at this point I think we all know what my feelings were about the first half of this book:




I'll admit it, the second half of the book is far less hateful than the first half ... of course, that is kind of like saying that I'd rather someone piss on my face than shit on it, but moving on ...

1. Rachel made a smart decision (for a while) and ...











I was shocked. This book should have come with a warning. I had to sit down for a while. I breathed into a paper bag for a good twenty-minutes. My mind was turned upside down. I looked at a picture of former U.S. President George W. Bush and thought he looked cute. I think I cried a little. My mother got a call that made no sense, and I think she's now very worried about me (the jokes on her if she tries to get the voices to stop talking to me! Because they're telling me to buy her Tim Horton's gift cards and flowers!).

Rachel said it was too risky to go to the party with Edden, and then she kept on refusing to go to the party with Edden, and then when she hung up, she had still not agreed to go to the party with Edden.



Of course, later on that back-down and sense that Rachel displayed, disappeared back off into the fairy wonderland it came from and Rachel once again started acting like a complete jackass and decided that it would be a good idea to fight banshee's in her bare-feet on New Year's.


You only get half for that shit, Cock Block!

Also was it just me or was Edden being a major douche in this scene (and then the rest of the book)?  I mean, putting Glenn back out in the field?  Wow.  Douche.

2. Ivy was in a good mood (and Rachel didn't manage to ruin it in like three seconds flat!) and being all sexy and shit and cracking jokes: Witness:

Will there be news vans and screaming? ... Count me in.
My mother always said I came from heaven.
You're a fun date. People look at you.



But, but, but, but ... THEN, Cock Block has to make Ivy all "Oh I feel so good, I look like a frickin' supermodel, and my roommate can't stop checking me out .... I HATE MY LIFE!" and, and, and, and ... THEN, Cock Block makes Ivy and Glenn dating, and Cock Block ...



This pairing actually doesn't inspire any hate in me, it just confuddles me something fierce! I mean, what? Why? Where? Huh? WHAT?

I think quizical baby expresses it best:


(No, I don't know this child. But this is what happens when you post children of your babies online. Crazy people put them in picture rants! Really, you should have seen this coming.)

Like, I said. I don't really hate this pairing. Ivy was really funny after gettin' her flirt on with Glenn, and I love me some funny Ivy so whatever I guess. Since we've got approximately eleventy billion more books to go, I can deal with Ravy getting closer while Ivy gets to be funny and happy for a while while she is dating Glenn (although, why he brings out the funny I have no idea). Ivy's (completely unnecessary) love interest is about a billijillion times better than fucking Pierce so, whatever I guess. My spirit is a little crushed. I just can't really care about these two, beyond hoping for more funny!ivy.

Speaking of fucking!Pierce ... FUCKING PIERCE! I HATE THIS MUTHAFUCKIN' PIECE OF RACHEL-CANDY! Really ...



3. This Rachel/Pierce fuckwittery cannot end soon enough. I dont' care what Cock Block is theoretically trying to do with him. I don't care about Every teenage girls Rachel Morgan's epic crush on Zac Efron Pierce, I don't care that she has been comparing everyone to Pierce and finding them lacking, or about how Rachel needs to get over her idealized version of love in order to find a flawed but real kind of love that can last.

I don't care because Cock Block has made Pierce an annoying little bastard! I'm not a New York Times best selling author, but I'm gonna go ahead and say that PIERCE IS SHITTY WRITING. SHITTY! (don't worry, I'm not going to post a picture for this one!) His dialogue is embarrassingly bad. It's like reading an eigth-graders play about Princess Gwendoliphina of Narwolk (and the Knight that loves her!) It is painful to read, and sometimes doesn't make sense. The way he speaks is SO over the top. I've read Jane Austen. I liked that shit. That bitch is good. This is NOT Jane Austen, Cock Block. Jane Austen is rolling over in her grave ... THIS IS WHAT YOU'VE CAUSED...



Just ... *sigh* Please just make him go away. Quickly. Usually it takes me a couple books to hate a character this much, I hated Pierce after his second word of dialogue. Just ... *sigh*

Cock Block, you have broken me like you are Hugo Weaving and I am Natalie Portman in the smash Hollywood hit V for Vendetta... the only verdict is vengeance; a vendetta, held as a votive, not in vain, for the value and veracity of such...

4. The whole Kisten's killer thing was ...



I think trancer21 covered the 'meh' of this well here, so I'm not gonna bother because the meh of it all is paralyzing me with not caring at the moment.

I didn't hate Rachel torching the place or whatever, I just felt it was a bit ... I don't know ..



It was like an epic tantrum. I was far more moved by Ivy's quiet misery and rage. Rachel's response was a little too ...



...for me to handle.

I did like the hugging and the aura sharing, and the "I'll never let go" of that scene. But after a while, I was like "Goddam!" you know. It's like, Rachel, listen to Ivy ...


.

And now for that super awesome short section of this post ...

Okay, here goes ... THINGS I LIKED ABOUT WHITE WITCH, BLACK CURSE

1. The cover was very nice. I liked the picture.

2. As far as I can tell, all of the words were spelled correctly.



3.  There WERE some nice Ravy moments ...

-  I found it hilarious that a sign of Rachel's increasing love for Ivy is that she can smell her real good, but it is a pretty nice little factoid.

-  I liked that Rachel showed real concern for Ivy after Mia stripped her aura from her.  She was like worried about her and shit, which is a nice change from her Book 5 "Ivy must save herself" bullfuckery. 

-  The airport scene with the PSA Lesbians was nice.  I'm glad that Rachel has learned that gays are people too ...



...but the only reason she and Ivy can't be happy like that couple is because Rachel Cock Block, keeps cock-blocking like it's going out of style.  But yeah, it's fine Cock Block, I see that you've provided a whole paragraph of positive lesbian images (before turning the one actual lesbian in the book into a Jennifer Jason Leigh in Single White Female with bonus attempted voyeur rape action).  I won't call you a homophobe.  I honestly don't think you are (I'm being serious, I don't think she is!  Don't yell at me!).   You're just a cock-blocker ... who is afraid people might come after you ... and they might!



- I liked Rachel checking Ivy out hardcore after Ivy's night of binge drinking in the back of Cormel's Escalade (sounds kinda like vampire prom!)

- I liked Ivy and Rachel's pseudo-date, and Rachel being all, "Yeah, I'm with this hot bitch ...



- And of course, I liked the casual aura sharing.  Ivy is such a pimp.  She's all, "Oh, hey Rachel.  I didn't see you there.  How are you?  I like your hair, did you cut it?  Looks good.  We should totally catch up.  No, no seriously, we should totally catch up.  So, ah ... wanna share an aura?  We don't have to.  I'm just saying ... I'm here, you're here, black curses are giving me a tan, why not?

So, yeah.  Other than Rachel being all ...

+ =

It was a really good scene.

4.  It ended.

So, in conclusion I'm pretty sure there's tons of stuff I forgot to mention, that's how I feel.

*yawns*  *goes to take that nap*

*Warning: This post is image heavy*

Also, apropo of nothing ... is anyone watching Kings on NBC?  I'm loving it so far.  About 40% of that is because Susanna Thompson is rocks my world.  Another 30% is because Thomasina rocks my socks.  And the other 30% is for all of the other assorted awesomeness that makes up this show.  *wants people with whom to ramble about Kings*

Comments

[thepixiestix.livejournal.com]

So before I read (looked at the nicely fitting pix) I was like 42% sure I was gonna swear off the books until all eleventy billion (and I have no doubt there'll be a +1 on top of that) are done and publishedl; I am now 58% more sure that I won't pay a single penny more until its all finished. Even though it speaks of suckery, this post cheers me up after finding out my basketball coach is leaving for fricking Virginia. So thanks for the chuckles and hopefully Cock Block doesn't curtail you from more Ravy.
.....and now I'll go back to being grumpy about my coach.

[ex-stanleyt.livejournal.com]

This post cracks my ass up. Totally. Little pieces of ass, all over my cubicle!

[trancer21.livejournal.com]

Oh God, you're gonna make me drive to Canada so I can stand outside your window holding a boom-box, wearing my tan trench-coat of emo-pain and playing 'In Your Eyes', aren't you? AREN'T YOU!?! Because, seriously, this was GLORIOUS!!

Like, I said. I don't really hate this pairing (Ivy/Glenn).

I don't hate it either. It's just one of those *looks at CBMcG* Am I *really* supposed to believe that this is NOT going to end badly? Ivy's a vampire. Ivy's a vampire who can't separate her blood lust from her sexual desires. Glenn's a human, which is like a walking, talking Happy Meal to vampires. Oh yea, this has 'happy ending' written ALL over it! Plus, I'm also not happy that CBMcG alluded to Ivy's attraction to Glenn was because he was injured.

As far as I can tell, all of the words were spelled correctly.

Lol, I love that in scraping the bottom of the barrel in an attempt to find something positive to say, good grammar is one of the few things left to grasp upon!

ETA: I'd also like to thank you for putting, in pictures, what I failed to explain in like 12 paragraphs, ie, this -

I didn't hate Rachel torching the place or whatever, I just felt it was a bit ... I don't know .. It was like an epic tantrum.

Had finding Kisten's killer and the torching happened at the end of book 5 or the beginning of book 6 (which it *really* fucking should have), it would have made more sense. Rachel's pain and the rage would have been more immediate, closer to the surface. Instead, this takes place two books and 6 months later. I'm not saying there should be a moratorium for one's grief but in that time, Rachel non-dated Marshall (along with totally awesome witch-sex in the belfry), met the previously unheard of 'true love of her life' and moved heaven and earth to steal him from Al. So, her grief and rage feels.. disingenuous. Honestly, it's the type of reaction I'd expect from Rachel if Jenks, Ivy, or Alice were killed, not a glorified fuck buddy who occasionally cooked for her.

[lostingeekdom.livejournal.com]

Heh .. I think I like this new idea of giffy rants. But I'm Ravy'd out, so I have nothing more to say in that respect. I do watch Kings, but haven't caught up on last night's episode yet. I probably will sometime later tonight. BTW, if you watch Chuck, Tricia Helfer is going to be in it. I'm waiting for a hot-off between her and Agent Sarah.

[madndizzee.livejournal.com]

LMAO. I love your rants! *two thumbs up*

[ic1pher.livejournal.com]

Heh, epic rant. Although I think I got overloaded with pics. :)
Yeah, the characterization of the characters is very important. Lately i've been feeling like the characters are watered down. (Pierce is 100% water, 0% substance)
Even the main characters like Ivy and Rachel are in danger of stagnating if they don't grow somehow sometime soon.

[orange-creative.livejournal.com]

This Rachel/Pierce fuckwittery cannot end soon enough.

If it had ended after a page of him appearing, it wouldn't have been soon enough. I mean... seriously? What's this bullshit with Pierce being a "Rachely" guy? Okay, so maybe she's been comparing just about everyone she's ever dated up to a long lost memory of a guy who was SO IMPORTANT THAT SHE DIDN'T REMEMBER HIM UNTIL BOOK SEVEN and none of them are up to standard.

Say we actually followed this new storyline and believed it made sense, hypothetically speaking of course, Cock Block probably doesn't even realize that she totally wrote Ivy as the one person in Rachel's life who has definitely made it past the wtf!Pierce-standard. She's head over heels for Rachel and she's so dangerous that nearly every interaction with her gets Rachel's adrenaline running. Their relationship doesn't even need crazy adventure into the ever-after, banshee-fighting, and werewolves.

Usually it takes me a couple books to hate a character this much, I hated Pierce after his second word of dialogue.

He is breaking the series for me. He might just be the last straw placed on this book!ship before it sinks. Unless she gets rid of him. Soon.

[jaina47.livejournal.com]

- The airport scene with the PSA Lesbians was nice. I'm glad that Rachel has learned that gays are people too ...

Dude, this was the scene that pissed me off! Not at Rachel mind you, though her obliviousness is EPIC, but rather at KH. Do not give us random happy lesbian couple, and have Rachel comparing their relationship to hers with Ivy and then say that Rachel/Ivy will not happen. If she really does not want Rachel/Ivy to happen. Fine. Whatever. Hate it, but you know, her books, her perogative. Just don't freaking pander and lead on your freaking audience.

And that's my rant, apparently....

pfgoihjwlke and KINGS!

[pocabomba.livejournal.com]

Wow. This post was amazing. And I feel your pain. Thank you, by the way, for helping me decide to read this series, because despite the cock blockage - it is rather fun. And really, who hasn't dealt with a Rachel in real life. She's everywhere.

To my main point:

I LOVE KINGS. It's epic. And not epic fail (at least not yet). It's making me super happy with every episode, and the quality of each episode is not deteriorating which is monumental. So yes. Also, the women look good and aren't two dimensional. And there's the crazy (sorta gay) prince - you always need one of those you know. Big Love has one. This book I'm reading - The Yiddish Policeman's Union - has one. You just need a gay prince. I'm modifying my definition of prince to include first son to a prominent person, but you get it.

In conclusion, KINGS FTW (and you rock)!

[julygreen.livejournal.com]

Picspam FTW! I'm always entertained by your rants/reviews, but this was amazing. I'm kind of a big deal, indeed.

(Now you've half-made me think that I should actually read this book!)

[queen-bellatrix.livejournal.com]

I am usually a decorous person, and don't rant. But Skimmer was mentioned, and I just have to rant for a few seconds to someone who actually liked Skimmer before this book. Her character got maulled! I didn't realize quite how much I pitied and was enraged for her until I embarked on an epic reread. She loved Ivy, damn it, and even after getting in prison for her, she realized that Ivy was always going to care for Rachel who, in her oppinion, doesn't give a shit about Ivy. What she did was way beyond out of line, I'm not excusing her, but to herl, it's like Rachel domesticated her and then de-fanged her! Skimmer found so much beauty in the fact that Ivy was a vampire, in the mixing of blood and sex, and Rachel seemed to want Ivy to fix herself to fit Rachel's definitions of morals. I don't know if that made a bit of sense, but it was like: Don't mix sex and blood because I'm not comfortable with it; find some way to shackle your hunger because of what I want because it's the only way it's going to work. And Skimmer made Ivy pay prices in other ways, I'll freely admit that. It's just that Skimmer is painted as screwing Ivy up when Rachel's doing it just as bad *off to continue fic where Ivy and Skimmer talk this crap out; will stop rant now*

And Pierce, just thank you for your awesome summary of everything that is wrong with Gordian Nathaniel Pierce! I would so love to see Rachel deal with her shunning, to learn to live by her own moral code and not have Pierce ride in and save her. Of course, I'm also the person that writes HP fics with Harry learning to use technicallly dark magic but retaining light morals, so you know. And Rachel and Ivy's semidate was beyond fantastic!

[lost-dreamer23.livejournal.com]

I...can't say much more than...
MAKE HOT PASSIONATE LOVE TO ME NOW, YOU WONDERFUL RANT-IST. <--Rantist is not a word. Fail.

[pretentiousgit.livejournal.com]

I'm so glad I've gotten them all out of the library. This one can also come from there.