The Hollows: I did it! I finished WWBC (and I only hate my life a little)

[fembuck]

Okay, so at this point I think we all know what my feelings were about the first half of this book:




I'll admit it, the second half of the book is far less hateful than the first half ... of course, that is kind of like saying that I'd rather someone piss on my face than shit on it, but moving on ...

1. Rachel made a smart decision (for a while) and ...











I was shocked. This book should have come with a warning. I had to sit down for a while. I breathed into a paper bag for a good twenty-minutes. My mind was turned upside down. I looked at a picture of former U.S. President George W. Bush and thought he looked cute. I think I cried a little. My mother got a call that made no sense, and I think she's now very worried about me (the jokes on her if she tries to get the voices to stop talking to me! Because they're telling me to buy her Tim Horton's gift cards and flowers!).

Rachel said it was too risky to go to the party with Edden, and then she kept on refusing to go to the party with Edden, and then when she hung up, she had still not agreed to go to the party with Edden.



Of course, later on that back-down and sense that Rachel displayed, disappeared back off into the fairy wonderland it came from and Rachel once again started acting like a complete jackass and decided that it would be a good idea to fight banshee's in her bare-feet on New Year's.


You only get half for that shit, Cock Block!

Also was it just me or was Edden being a major douche in this scene (and then the rest of the book)?  I mean, putting Glenn back out in the field?  Wow.  Douche.

2. Ivy was in a good mood (and Rachel didn't manage to ruin it in like three seconds flat!) and being all sexy and shit and cracking jokes: Witness:

Will there be news vans and screaming? ... Count me in.
My mother always said I came from heaven.
You're a fun date. People look at you.



But, but, but, but ... THEN, Cock Block has to make Ivy all "Oh I feel so good, I look like a frickin' supermodel, and my roommate can't stop checking me out .... I HATE MY LIFE!" and, and, and, and ... THEN, Cock Block makes Ivy and Glenn dating, and Cock Block ...



This pairing actually doesn't inspire any hate in me, it just confuddles me something fierce! I mean, what? Why? Where? Huh? WHAT?

I think quizical baby expresses it best:


(No, I don't know this child. But this is what happens when you post children of your babies online. Crazy people put them in picture rants! Really, you should have seen this coming.)

Like, I said. I don't really hate this pairing. Ivy was really funny after gettin' her flirt on with Glenn, and I love me some funny Ivy so whatever I guess. Since we've got approximately eleventy billion more books to go, I can deal with Ravy getting closer while Ivy gets to be funny and happy for a while while she is dating Glenn (although, why he brings out the funny I have no idea). Ivy's (completely unnecessary) love interest is about a billijillion times better than fucking Pierce so, whatever I guess. My spirit is a little crushed. I just can't really care about these two, beyond hoping for more funny!ivy.

Speaking of fucking!Pierce ... FUCKING PIERCE! I HATE THIS MUTHAFUCKIN' PIECE OF RACHEL-CANDY! Really ...



3. This Rachel/Pierce fuckwittery cannot end soon enough. I dont' care what Cock Block is theoretically trying to do with him. I don't care about Every teenage girls Rachel Morgan's epic crush on Zac Efron Pierce, I don't care that she has been comparing everyone to Pierce and finding them lacking, or about how Rachel needs to get over her idealized version of love in order to find a flawed but real kind of love that can last.

I don't care because Cock Block has made Pierce an annoying little bastard! I'm not a New York Times best selling author, but I'm gonna go ahead and say that PIERCE IS SHITTY WRITING. SHITTY! (don't worry, I'm not going to post a picture for this one!) His dialogue is embarrassingly bad. It's like reading an eigth-graders play about Princess Gwendoliphina of Narwolk (and the Knight that loves her!) It is painful to read, and sometimes doesn't make sense. The way he speaks is SO over the top. I've read Jane Austen. I liked that shit. That bitch is good. This is NOT Jane Austen, Cock Block. Jane Austen is rolling over in her grave ... THIS IS WHAT YOU'VE CAUSED...



Just ... *sigh* Please just make him go away. Quickly. Usually it takes me a couple books to hate a character this much, I hated Pierce after his second word of dialogue. Just ... *sigh*

Cock Block, you have broken me like you are Hugo Weaving and I am Natalie Portman in the smash Hollywood hit V for Vendetta... the only verdict is vengeance; a vendetta, held as a votive, not in vain, for the value and veracity of such...

4. The whole Kisten's killer thing was ...



I think trancer21 covered the 'meh' of this well here, so I'm not gonna bother because the meh of it all is paralyzing me with not caring at the moment.

I didn't hate Rachel torching the place or whatever, I just felt it was a bit ... I don't know ..



It was like an epic tantrum. I was far more moved by Ivy's quiet misery and rage. Rachel's response was a little too ...



...for me to handle.

I did like the hugging and the aura sharing, and the "I'll never let go" of that scene. But after a while, I was like "Goddam!" you know. It's like, Rachel, listen to Ivy ...


.

And now for that super awesome short section of this post ...

Okay, here goes ... THINGS I LIKED ABOUT WHITE WITCH, BLACK CURSE

1. The cover was very nice. I liked the picture.

2. As far as I can tell, all of the words were spelled correctly.



3.  There WERE some nice Ravy moments ...

-  I found it hilarious that a sign of Rachel's increasing love for Ivy is that she can smell her real good, but it is a pretty nice little factoid.

-  I liked that Rachel showed real concern for Ivy after Mia stripped her aura from her.  She was like worried about her and shit, which is a nice change from her Book 5 "Ivy must save herself" bullfuckery. 

-  The airport scene with the PSA Lesbians was nice.  I'm glad that Rachel has learned that gays are people too ...



...but the only reason she and Ivy can't be happy like that couple is because Rachel Cock Block, keeps cock-blocking like it's going out of style.  But yeah, it's fine Cock Block, I see that you've provided a whole paragraph of positive lesbian images (before turning the one actual lesbian in the book into a Jennifer Jason Leigh in Single White Female with bonus attempted voyeur rape action).  I won't call you a homophobe.  I honestly don't think you are (I'm being serious, I don't think she is!  Don't yell at me!).   You're just a cock-blocker ... who is afraid people might come after you ... and they might!



- I liked Rachel checking Ivy out hardcore after Ivy's night of binge drinking in the back of Cormel's Escalade (sounds kinda like vampire prom!)

- I liked Ivy and Rachel's pseudo-date, and Rachel being all, "Yeah, I'm with this hot bitch ...



- And of course, I liked the casual aura sharing.  Ivy is such a pimp.  She's all, "Oh, hey Rachel.  I didn't see you there.  How are you?  I like your hair, did you cut it?  Looks good.  We should totally catch up.  No, no seriously, we should totally catch up.  So, ah ... wanna share an aura?  We don't have to.  I'm just saying ... I'm here, you're here, black curses are giving me a tan, why not?

So, yeah.  Other than Rachel being all ...

+ =

It was a really good scene.

4.  It ended.

So, in conclusion I'm pretty sure there's tons of stuff I forgot to mention, that's how I feel.

*yawns*  *goes to take that nap*

*Warning: This post is image heavy*

Also, apropo of nothing ... is anyone watching Kings on NBC?  I'm loving it so far.  About 40% of that is because Susanna Thompson is rocks my world.  Another 30% is because Thomasina rocks my socks.  And the other 30% is for all of the other assorted awesomeness that makes up this show.  *wants people with whom to ramble about Kings*

Comments

[trancer21.livejournal.com]

Seriously, Cock Block, you best be going somewhere with all of this!

Lol, yes, she better. Because, when I look at the series with my Ravy-colored glasses on (and subtract all of CBMcG's completely insulting statements) I do see a, not exactly but kinda sorta, natural progression in both Rachel and Ivy's personal lives that's bringing them one step closer to being together.

Like, all of Rachel's relationships, so far, have been little progressive steps towards realizing Ivy really is 'The One'. Nick was Rachel confronting her adrenaline junkie ways and learning not to a) read a book by its cover and b) not letting her libido rule her head. Kisten was about Rachel learning to have a relationship with a vampire. He was 'safe', where Ivy was not and currently still isn't. Marshall was about being with someone who accepted her for who she is (although, I did think he was a bigger douche than Nick). I'm just gonna forget Pierce even exists for the sake of this argument.. and my sanity!

So, on the one hand, Ivy and Glenn kinda makes sense to me. Glenn is Ivy's Marshall, someone who knows who and what she is and accepts her on those terms. On the other hand, this is also CBMcG we're talking about.. and Ivy, Harrison's own personal emotional punching bag. This just.. can NOT end well. First off, I don't see the FIB looking kindly towards their employees having relationships with Inderlanders. They've shown themselves to be *way* too prejudiced. Second, Ivy really does need to be with someone who's stronger than her. Glenn, um, he definitely ain't that!! Third, there's also the possibility of Ivy biting Glenn and turning him into her shadow. I mean, I *doubt* that's going to happen but could you imagine the shit storm that would follow? But, you know, this is CBMcG we're talking about here.

That place (the hospital) must be like a fucking swingers party to her!

Lol! Although I did go into 'Ivy's so dreamy' mode when she was with the kids in the hospital. Ivy's *great* with kids!?! WHO KNEW? Rachel must have titanium-plated ovaries for them to have not exploded!

Rachel can't be turned..

I know we've ranted about this before but I'll pound that dead horse just a little bit more. Rachel not letting Ivy bite her would have made sense if Harrison had established that the vampire saliva in her system would dissipate over time. But the way it's written, it seems like once it's there, it's there for eternity. Making Rachel's decision to be vamp-candy to whatever yahoo with fangs as opposed to letting Ivy bite her all the more asinine.

Never mind the fact that I'm having to hand wave the whole 'but a vampire didn't bite Rachel, a demon did'.

[ex-stanleyt.livejournal.com]

Rachel not letting Ivy bite her would have made sense if Harrison had established that the vampire saliva in her system would dissipate over time. But the way it's written, it seems like once it's there, it's there for eternity.

You know, she actually posted a reply on her page about this today. Off the top of my head, she said something along the lines of if it's not stimulated by a vamp, it fades with time.

[trancer21.livejournal.com]

See, that makes sense. Too bad it hit her after book 7 was published instead of coming to her, oh I don't know, while she was writing Dead Witch Walking!!

[ex-stanleyt.livejournal.com]

Yeah, I'm thinking that's all part of what I commented over here (http://fembuck.livejournal.com/234217.html?thread=3445481#t3445481)...

[fembuck.livejournal.com]

So true. She wasn't planning on all of this shit, so she's having to create drama now that contradicts how things were presented before. The fact that she didn't mention the dissipation thing after 7 books really irks though. She could have used that as the reason for no biting in Book 6, without having contradicted herself (before previous to this Rachel WANTED to be bitten), but no ...

[ex-stanleyt.livejournal.com]

She needs to sit back and re-plan the next however-many books she's got left. Get all her facts straight and all that shit then carry on. If she manages that, maybe we can gloss over some of the larger plot holes/contradictions from books 6 & 7...

[trancer21.livejournal.com]

I *love* the smell of Ret-Con in the morning. It smells like.. ass pulling!

[fembuck.livejournal.com]

Too bad it hit her after book 7 was published instead of coming to her, oh I don't know, while she was writing Dead Witch Walking!!

This! OMG, THIS! This makes perfect sense. If Rachel had been all, "I want to find a blood balance with you. I want to be able to share this with you. But I don't want to be a slave to the saliva (author's note: ew) inside of me. It goes away after time, right? All we have to do is wait for a little while. It takes a year at most, right? And then it'll be all me, and it will feel right. Can you wait?"

If THAT had happened, my rage would go from

to this "."

[ex-stanleyt.livejournal.com]

Ok, I might have been sitting here at the computer for too long when that big circle starts to undergo cell division if I don't blink frequently enough! lol I'm gonna go outside and get some fresh air, I think!

[fembuck.livejournal.com]

[Error: Irreparable invalid markup ('<when [...] enough!/i>') in entry. Owner must fix manually. Raw contents below.]

<i><when that big circle starts to undergo cell division if I don't blink frequently enough!/i>

Are you high? If you are don't be ashamed. Cock Block can drive the best of us to recreational drugs!

[ex-stanleyt.livejournal.com]

I wish I was! I'd just been staring at a monitor for so long that the big old circle was becoming 2 circles as my eyes randomly unfocused themselves :)

[trancer21.livejournal.com]

Yes, when putting into the equation of what would dissipate my rage? Then, yeah, I'd be okay with a little ret-conning.. in this instance. Hell, I'd even be happy with Rachel finding a spell while stuck with Al that reverses the saliva he put into her system. It would be such an Al thing to do 'remove vamp saliva? oh yeah, I can totally do that!'. Just ANYTHING that makes the current fuckwittery a bit more palatable. ANYTHING!!

[fembuck.livejournal.com]

Hell, I'd even be happy with Rachel finding a spell while stuck with Al that reverses the saliva he put into her system.

I would be so, not satisfied, but ... okay with this happening. And it IS a total Al thing to do. Like, just not to have brought it up, sitting back enjoying Rachel getting yanked around by vamps for like a year knowing the whole time he could snap his fingers and end it.

Plus, it would be a bit of a bitch slap to Rachel, and her knowing that she suffered needlessly for a year (and in a round about way helped to get Kisten killed) is a little of the comeuppance that woman needs.

ANYTHING!!

But yeah, at this point it's really like ... just make it go away Kim. I don't care how. Just do it.