The Hollows: I did it! I finished WWBC (and I only hate my life a little)

[fembuck]

Okay, so at this point I think we all know what my feelings were about the first half of this book:




I'll admit it, the second half of the book is far less hateful than the first half ... of course, that is kind of like saying that I'd rather someone piss on my face than shit on it, but moving on ...

1. Rachel made a smart decision (for a while) and ...











I was shocked. This book should have come with a warning. I had to sit down for a while. I breathed into a paper bag for a good twenty-minutes. My mind was turned upside down. I looked at a picture of former U.S. President George W. Bush and thought he looked cute. I think I cried a little. My mother got a call that made no sense, and I think she's now very worried about me (the jokes on her if she tries to get the voices to stop talking to me! Because they're telling me to buy her Tim Horton's gift cards and flowers!).

Rachel said it was too risky to go to the party with Edden, and then she kept on refusing to go to the party with Edden, and then when she hung up, she had still not agreed to go to the party with Edden.



Of course, later on that back-down and sense that Rachel displayed, disappeared back off into the fairy wonderland it came from and Rachel once again started acting like a complete jackass and decided that it would be a good idea to fight banshee's in her bare-feet on New Year's.


You only get half for that shit, Cock Block!

Also was it just me or was Edden being a major douche in this scene (and then the rest of the book)?  I mean, putting Glenn back out in the field?  Wow.  Douche.

2. Ivy was in a good mood (and Rachel didn't manage to ruin it in like three seconds flat!) and being all sexy and shit and cracking jokes: Witness:

Will there be news vans and screaming? ... Count me in.
My mother always said I came from heaven.
You're a fun date. People look at you.



But, but, but, but ... THEN, Cock Block has to make Ivy all "Oh I feel so good, I look like a frickin' supermodel, and my roommate can't stop checking me out .... I HATE MY LIFE!" and, and, and, and ... THEN, Cock Block makes Ivy and Glenn dating, and Cock Block ...



This pairing actually doesn't inspire any hate in me, it just confuddles me something fierce! I mean, what? Why? Where? Huh? WHAT?

I think quizical baby expresses it best:


(No, I don't know this child. But this is what happens when you post children of your babies online. Crazy people put them in picture rants! Really, you should have seen this coming.)

Like, I said. I don't really hate this pairing. Ivy was really funny after gettin' her flirt on with Glenn, and I love me some funny Ivy so whatever I guess. Since we've got approximately eleventy billion more books to go, I can deal with Ravy getting closer while Ivy gets to be funny and happy for a while while she is dating Glenn (although, why he brings out the funny I have no idea). Ivy's (completely unnecessary) love interest is about a billijillion times better than fucking Pierce so, whatever I guess. My spirit is a little crushed. I just can't really care about these two, beyond hoping for more funny!ivy.

Speaking of fucking!Pierce ... FUCKING PIERCE! I HATE THIS MUTHAFUCKIN' PIECE OF RACHEL-CANDY! Really ...



3. This Rachel/Pierce fuckwittery cannot end soon enough. I dont' care what Cock Block is theoretically trying to do with him. I don't care about Every teenage girls Rachel Morgan's epic crush on Zac Efron Pierce, I don't care that she has been comparing everyone to Pierce and finding them lacking, or about how Rachel needs to get over her idealized version of love in order to find a flawed but real kind of love that can last.

I don't care because Cock Block has made Pierce an annoying little bastard! I'm not a New York Times best selling author, but I'm gonna go ahead and say that PIERCE IS SHITTY WRITING. SHITTY! (don't worry, I'm not going to post a picture for this one!) His dialogue is embarrassingly bad. It's like reading an eigth-graders play about Princess Gwendoliphina of Narwolk (and the Knight that loves her!) It is painful to read, and sometimes doesn't make sense. The way he speaks is SO over the top. I've read Jane Austen. I liked that shit. That bitch is good. This is NOT Jane Austen, Cock Block. Jane Austen is rolling over in her grave ... THIS IS WHAT YOU'VE CAUSED...



Just ... *sigh* Please just make him go away. Quickly. Usually it takes me a couple books to hate a character this much, I hated Pierce after his second word of dialogue. Just ... *sigh*

Cock Block, you have broken me like you are Hugo Weaving and I am Natalie Portman in the smash Hollywood hit V for Vendetta... the only verdict is vengeance; a vendetta, held as a votive, not in vain, for the value and veracity of such...

4. The whole Kisten's killer thing was ...



I think trancer21 covered the 'meh' of this well here, so I'm not gonna bother because the meh of it all is paralyzing me with not caring at the moment.

I didn't hate Rachel torching the place or whatever, I just felt it was a bit ... I don't know ..



It was like an epic tantrum. I was far more moved by Ivy's quiet misery and rage. Rachel's response was a little too ...



...for me to handle.

I did like the hugging and the aura sharing, and the "I'll never let go" of that scene. But after a while, I was like "Goddam!" you know. It's like, Rachel, listen to Ivy ...


.

And now for that super awesome short section of this post ...

Okay, here goes ... THINGS I LIKED ABOUT WHITE WITCH, BLACK CURSE

1. The cover was very nice. I liked the picture.

2. As far as I can tell, all of the words were spelled correctly.



3.  There WERE some nice Ravy moments ...

-  I found it hilarious that a sign of Rachel's increasing love for Ivy is that she can smell her real good, but it is a pretty nice little factoid.

-  I liked that Rachel showed real concern for Ivy after Mia stripped her aura from her.  She was like worried about her and shit, which is a nice change from her Book 5 "Ivy must save herself" bullfuckery. 

-  The airport scene with the PSA Lesbians was nice.  I'm glad that Rachel has learned that gays are people too ...



...but the only reason she and Ivy can't be happy like that couple is because Rachel Cock Block, keeps cock-blocking like it's going out of style.  But yeah, it's fine Cock Block, I see that you've provided a whole paragraph of positive lesbian images (before turning the one actual lesbian in the book into a Jennifer Jason Leigh in Single White Female with bonus attempted voyeur rape action).  I won't call you a homophobe.  I honestly don't think you are (I'm being serious, I don't think she is!  Don't yell at me!).   You're just a cock-blocker ... who is afraid people might come after you ... and they might!



- I liked Rachel checking Ivy out hardcore after Ivy's night of binge drinking in the back of Cormel's Escalade (sounds kinda like vampire prom!)

- I liked Ivy and Rachel's pseudo-date, and Rachel being all, "Yeah, I'm with this hot bitch ...



- And of course, I liked the casual aura sharing.  Ivy is such a pimp.  She's all, "Oh, hey Rachel.  I didn't see you there.  How are you?  I like your hair, did you cut it?  Looks good.  We should totally catch up.  No, no seriously, we should totally catch up.  So, ah ... wanna share an aura?  We don't have to.  I'm just saying ... I'm here, you're here, black curses are giving me a tan, why not?

So, yeah.  Other than Rachel being all ...

+ =

It was a really good scene.

4.  It ended.

So, in conclusion I'm pretty sure there's tons of stuff I forgot to mention, that's how I feel.

*yawns*  *goes to take that nap*

*Warning: This post is image heavy*

Also, apropo of nothing ... is anyone watching Kings on NBC?  I'm loving it so far.  About 40% of that is because Susanna Thompson is rocks my world.  Another 30% is because Thomasina rocks my socks.  And the other 30% is for all of the other assorted awesomeness that makes up this show.  *wants people with whom to ramble about Kings*

Comments

[trancer21.livejournal.com]

Oh God, you're gonna make me drive to Canada so I can stand outside your window holding a boom-box, wearing my tan trench-coat of emo-pain and playing 'In Your Eyes', aren't you? AREN'T YOU!?! Because, seriously, this was GLORIOUS!!

Like, I said. I don't really hate this pairing (Ivy/Glenn).

I don't hate it either. It's just one of those *looks at CBMcG* Am I *really* supposed to believe that this is NOT going to end badly? Ivy's a vampire. Ivy's a vampire who can't separate her blood lust from her sexual desires. Glenn's a human, which is like a walking, talking Happy Meal to vampires. Oh yea, this has 'happy ending' written ALL over it! Plus, I'm also not happy that CBMcG alluded to Ivy's attraction to Glenn was because he was injured.

As far as I can tell, all of the words were spelled correctly.

Lol, I love that in scraping the bottom of the barrel in an attempt to find something positive to say, good grammar is one of the few things left to grasp upon!

ETA: I'd also like to thank you for putting, in pictures, what I failed to explain in like 12 paragraphs, ie, this -

I didn't hate Rachel torching the place or whatever, I just felt it was a bit ... I don't know .. It was like an epic tantrum.

Had finding Kisten's killer and the torching happened at the end of book 5 or the beginning of book 6 (which it *really* fucking should have), it would have made more sense. Rachel's pain and the rage would have been more immediate, closer to the surface. Instead, this takes place two books and 6 months later. I'm not saying there should be a moratorium for one's grief but in that time, Rachel non-dated Marshall (along with totally awesome witch-sex in the belfry), met the previously unheard of 'true love of her life' and moved heaven and earth to steal him from Al. So, her grief and rage feels.. disingenuous. Honestly, it's the type of reaction I'd expect from Rachel if Jenks, Ivy, or Alice were killed, not a glorified fuck buddy who occasionally cooked for her.

[fembuck.livejournal.com]

Ivy's a vampire. Ivy's a vampire who can't separate her blood lust from her sexual desires. Glenn's a human, which is like a walking, talking Happy Meal to vampires.

Well, since Glenn will admit to liking Ivy back, and probably freely admits to wanting to have sex with her, Ivy could probably shackle her hunger around him. I have a hard time believing that Glenn would want to get bitten though. It seems out of character for him what with him taking baby steps into Interland life. And if he doesn't want to get bitten, Cock Block has just written Ivy into another kinda-relationship like she has with Rachel where her S.O kinda hates her for what she is.

And can't humans be turned by the vampire virus? I can't even remember how this happens in the Cock Block McGee-verse, but you'd think that would be a worry. Rachel can't be turned, and Ravy are still Emo Emosteins over everything, but Ivy has like no worries whatsoever about being with Glenn? What the fuck ever, Cock Block.

I'm also not happy that CBMcG alluded to Ivy's attraction to Glenn was because he was injured.

LOL! I'm imagining that that is Rachel's effed up reasoning, trying to deal with her subconscious jealously. Because WTF! Glenn better hope Ivy stops stopping by the hospital. That place must be like a fucking swingers party to her! Honest, Cock Block. That's just dumb. But like this whole storyline it kind of amuses me, but mostly I don't care.

Lol, I love that in scraping the bottom of the barrel in an attempt to find something positive to say, good grammar is one of the few things left to grasp upon!

Yeah, it's like I was seconds away from adding, "The chapter headings had nice font". By rage has died a little, but I'm not finding much to love in the book. Even the Ravy moments are kind of bittersweet, because of the constant cock-blocking, and the knowledge that this is a never-ending series hanging over me.

Had finding Kisten's killer and the torching happened at the end of book 5 or the beginning of book 6 (which it *really* fucking should have), it would have made more sense. Rachel's pain and the rage would have been more immediate, closer to the surface.

This. When you have Rachel talking about how she thought that she could've maybe made a life with Marshall, and having dinner dates with her family and Marshall (which never happened with Kisten), and then wavering between Pierce and Marshall for half the book, and then outright saying that Kisten didn't measure up to memories of Pierce at the end, her reaction seems sooooo over the top. Even her motivation was dumb. She doesn't want people to see his death as a political killing? WHAT? Who the fuck even gives a shit about Kisten's death other than her and Ivy? Are the papers really following this shit with bated breath? I think not. You mean you don't want that it was a political killing to be written in some file that I'll be forgotten five seconds after it's put in a drawer? Honestly, willfully using black magic, and smutting up her precious soul for THAT was just dumb.

Honestly, it's the type of reaction I'd expect from Rachel if Jenks, Ivy, or Alice were killed, not a glorified fuck buddy who occasionally cooked for her.

I know, right! *sigh* I did like that in this book, Rachel seemed to realize that Ivy losing her soul would be kind of a bad thing, and was all like, "uh, I'm gonna actually try now!" about it. That thought she had that she couldn't imagine living without Ivy in her life was nice.

Seriously, Cock Block, you best be going somewhere with all of this!

[ex-stanleyt.livejournal.com]

And can't humans be turned by the vampire virus?

Yep. See Denon, Rachel's father, etc...

[kayla-01.livejournal.com]

So doesn't this seem kinda strange? I also thought at the time that it seemed out of character for Glenn to let Ivy bite him, or for Ivy to want to. In which case, are we talking just your average human dating between them? If sex is involved already, I don't understand how Ivy can have sex with a human and not bite them. She's shown a clear struggle so many times to even touch Rachel chastely without feeling the need to bite her. How the heck does this work with Glenn?

[ex-stanleyt.livejournal.com]

I can't see there being any biting involved. Not only could it turn Glenn, but I'm quite sure it'd break all sorts of FIB rules, yanno?

[kayla-01.livejournal.com]

True and true. Does Ivy get a kick out of going for people she can't bite or something? >.>

Ivy has either developed some magical control around Glenn or it's a no blood = no sex deal. In which case they...go out and eat at lots of Italian places together? Time will tell!

[ex-stanleyt.livejournal.com]

Maybe she can go suck on a vamp and that helps control her bloodlust long enough to get it on with Glenn?

[kayla-01.livejournal.com]

Like a sub who keeps standby at the side of the bed?

Making out...making out...still making out... Whoops, too far! Tag in the vamp Glenn! Tag in the vamp! Phew...close one. Okay, we're all good now. Making out...making out...

[ex-stanleyt.livejournal.com]

Like a sub who keeps standby at the side of the bed?

Uhhh, I'll take your word for that ;) Hehehe

[fembuck.livejournal.com]

Oh, Jeebus Christ you are cracking me up right now!

Like a sub who keeps standby at the side of the bed?
Making out...making out...still making out... Whoops, too far! Tag in the vamp Glenn! Tag in the vamp! Phew...close one. Okay, we're all good now. Making out...making out...

Fuckin' A! Fuckin' A! OMG! Too funny.

[fembuck.livejournal.com]

Wouldn't this just make her hate herself and feel like a monster though. Going to suck on some randoms neck, just so she doesn't feel like she might hurt her lover.

Wouldn't it just make sense to date someone that she can bite and make love to. That way it's all nice and lovely and beautiful. Ivy doesn't need to torture herself to find someone who'll love her. She's a catch.

[fembuck.livejournal.com]

In which case they...go out and eat at lots of Italian places together?

LOL!

... ... ...

BWAH!!! LOL!

Do you think they were purity ring?

[kayla-01.livejournal.com]

Do you think they were purity ring?

Oh my, certainly! Isn't it just precious?

....

Seriously though, all the luck in the world to Glenn at keeping his hands off of her. He's a better person than I. Good job he can still smuggle away tomatoes with her. 'Cause I hear he totally likes them. Did y'know that?

[trancer21.livejournal.com]

Seriously, Cock Block, you best be going somewhere with all of this!

Lol, yes, she better. Because, when I look at the series with my Ravy-colored glasses on (and subtract all of CBMcG's completely insulting statements) I do see a, not exactly but kinda sorta, natural progression in both Rachel and Ivy's personal lives that's bringing them one step closer to being together.

Like, all of Rachel's relationships, so far, have been little progressive steps towards realizing Ivy really is 'The One'. Nick was Rachel confronting her adrenaline junkie ways and learning not to a) read a book by its cover and b) not letting her libido rule her head. Kisten was about Rachel learning to have a relationship with a vampire. He was 'safe', where Ivy was not and currently still isn't. Marshall was about being with someone who accepted her for who she is (although, I did think he was a bigger douche than Nick). I'm just gonna forget Pierce even exists for the sake of this argument.. and my sanity!

So, on the one hand, Ivy and Glenn kinda makes sense to me. Glenn is Ivy's Marshall, someone who knows who and what she is and accepts her on those terms. On the other hand, this is also CBMcG we're talking about.. and Ivy, Harrison's own personal emotional punching bag. This just.. can NOT end well. First off, I don't see the FIB looking kindly towards their employees having relationships with Inderlanders. They've shown themselves to be *way* too prejudiced. Second, Ivy really does need to be with someone who's stronger than her. Glenn, um, he definitely ain't that!! Third, there's also the possibility of Ivy biting Glenn and turning him into her shadow. I mean, I *doubt* that's going to happen but could you imagine the shit storm that would follow? But, you know, this is CBMcG we're talking about here.

That place (the hospital) must be like a fucking swingers party to her!

Lol! Although I did go into 'Ivy's so dreamy' mode when she was with the kids in the hospital. Ivy's *great* with kids!?! WHO KNEW? Rachel must have titanium-plated ovaries for them to have not exploded!

Rachel can't be turned..

I know we've ranted about this before but I'll pound that dead horse just a little bit more. Rachel not letting Ivy bite her would have made sense if Harrison had established that the vampire saliva in her system would dissipate over time. But the way it's written, it seems like once it's there, it's there for eternity. Making Rachel's decision to be vamp-candy to whatever yahoo with fangs as opposed to letting Ivy bite her all the more asinine.

Never mind the fact that I'm having to hand wave the whole 'but a vampire didn't bite Rachel, a demon did'.

[ex-stanleyt.livejournal.com]

Rachel not letting Ivy bite her would have made sense if Harrison had established that the vampire saliva in her system would dissipate over time. But the way it's written, it seems like once it's there, it's there for eternity.

You know, she actually posted a reply on her page about this today. Off the top of my head, she said something along the lines of if it's not stimulated by a vamp, it fades with time.

[trancer21.livejournal.com]

See, that makes sense. Too bad it hit her after book 7 was published instead of coming to her, oh I don't know, while she was writing Dead Witch Walking!!

[ex-stanleyt.livejournal.com]

Yeah, I'm thinking that's all part of what I commented over here (http://fembuck.livejournal.com/234217.html?thread=3445481#t3445481)...

[fembuck.livejournal.com]

So true. She wasn't planning on all of this shit, so she's having to create drama now that contradicts how things were presented before. The fact that she didn't mention the dissipation thing after 7 books really irks though. She could have used that as the reason for no biting in Book 6, without having contradicted herself (before previous to this Rachel WANTED to be bitten), but no ...

[ex-stanleyt.livejournal.com]

She needs to sit back and re-plan the next however-many books she's got left. Get all her facts straight and all that shit then carry on. If she manages that, maybe we can gloss over some of the larger plot holes/contradictions from books 6 & 7...

[trancer21.livejournal.com]

I *love* the smell of Ret-Con in the morning. It smells like.. ass pulling!

[fembuck.livejournal.com]

Too bad it hit her after book 7 was published instead of coming to her, oh I don't know, while she was writing Dead Witch Walking!!

This! OMG, THIS! This makes perfect sense. If Rachel had been all, "I want to find a blood balance with you. I want to be able to share this with you. But I don't want to be a slave to the saliva (author's note: ew) inside of me. It goes away after time, right? All we have to do is wait for a little while. It takes a year at most, right? And then it'll be all me, and it will feel right. Can you wait?"

If THAT had happened, my rage would go from

to this "."

[ex-stanleyt.livejournal.com]

Ok, I might have been sitting here at the computer for too long when that big circle starts to undergo cell division if I don't blink frequently enough! lol I'm gonna go outside and get some fresh air, I think!

[fembuck.livejournal.com]

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<i><when that big circle starts to undergo cell division if I don't blink frequently enough!/i>

Are you high? If you are don't be ashamed. Cock Block can drive the best of us to recreational drugs!

[trancer21.livejournal.com]

Yes, when putting into the equation of what would dissipate my rage? Then, yeah, I'd be okay with a little ret-conning.. in this instance. Hell, I'd even be happy with Rachel finding a spell while stuck with Al that reverses the saliva he put into her system. It would be such an Al thing to do 'remove vamp saliva? oh yeah, I can totally do that!'. Just ANYTHING that makes the current fuckwittery a bit more palatable. ANYTHING!!

[fembuck.livejournal.com]

Hell, I'd even be happy with Rachel finding a spell while stuck with Al that reverses the saliva he put into her system.

I would be so, not satisfied, but ... okay with this happening. And it IS a total Al thing to do. Like, just not to have brought it up, sitting back enjoying Rachel getting yanked around by vamps for like a year knowing the whole time he could snap his fingers and end it.

Plus, it would be a bit of a bitch slap to Rachel, and her knowing that she suffered needlessly for a year (and in a round about way helped to get Kisten killed) is a little of the comeuppance that woman needs.

ANYTHING!!

But yeah, at this point it's really like ... just make it go away Kim. I don't care how. Just do it.