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Goddamn you WB! Why?? Fucking why man???

So a new promotional image of Narcissa from Half-Blood Prince has been released.

Now, I don't want to be a hater, but .... FAIL FAIL FAIL FAIL FAIL FAIL FAIL FAIL FAIL FAIL FAIL FAIL FAIL FAIL FAIL FAIL !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

HAIR FAIL!
EYEBROW FAIL!
LIPSTICK FAIL!
HAIR FAIL! (it had to be said twice)
SHOE FAIL!
AGE FAIL x 1000 (she is supposed to be the YOUNGEST sister you fuckers! This chick looks like she used to steal McGonagall's fucking homework back in the Jazz Age, or some shit. I call fuckery on you WB, I call FUCKERY!!!!.

I'll admit it, the pose is aiight still.

But seriously people ... LOOK!

I mean REALLY? NARCISSA MALFOY SHOULD NOT BE LOOKIN' LIKE A HOT TRANNY MESS!

I did not sign up to see Helena-Bonham Carter eye-fucking Cruella fucking Deville! I did NOT!

See ... Bellatrix won't stand for this shit either!

Fuck the WB man, that is not my Narcissa. This:

OR

THIS is my Narcissa!.

Shiiiiiit, I'm done man. I need a drink ...

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OH CHRIST WHAT.

what happened to the narcissa from the second movie??? i would have taken that any over this. and thats coming from a creepy old lady fancier :[

OH CHRIST WHAT.

I know, bb. I know.

what happened to the narcissa from the second movie???

There was a Narcissa in the second movie? I thought she hadn't been on screen yet (I was bitching and moaning forever when she didn't show up in GoF).

and thats coming from a creepy old lady fancier :[

I like the old ladies too, lol. I'm totes perving on Elisabeth Sladen right now. Old lady's can be hot too, but not this one ... and NOT as Narcissa.

OMG! big fail! I totally agree with you. I imagined her so differently. this sucks.

*stares at Noami Watts*

So much pretty in that one picture... I WANT!

WHAT THE HELL - WHAT IS THIS?

I was PRAYING that the last picture was just a dress rehearsal, that they were going to like computer animate her ugliness away or dye her hair later. But they kept her 50,000 years old!? MY EYES!

I always pictured her having almost perfect white hair and skin as flawless as like...porcelain. The complete OPPOSITE of the rest of the black family. It's almost as if WB was all "WELL, SHE ALREADY LOOKS LIKE CRAP, SO WHY BOTHER TRYING!?" and sloppily applied lipstick to her face.

This chick looks like she used to steal McGonagall's fucking homework back in the Jazz Age, or some shit.

Are you crazy? She'd be the professor assigning McGonagall's homework. Do you see that heavy cotton/corduroy/whatever-the-hell-it-is jacket-thing she's wearing? Narcissa would probably die before even THINKING of wearing something like that. Nicole Kidman dressed as Mrs. Coulter would have been MUCH better then Helena McCroy. Uhg. *rants*

Whats the world coming to!? *sobs*

I'm still pro-olivia wilde as young bella, but Ic an't remember who was young narcissa, but pro-her too over the cryptkeeper...

*blinks*

WTF? That's just not Narcissa. That's some pretty bad casting.

...!

Oh man, Nicole Kidman as Narcissa...*drools* Old, ugly lady as Narcissa? Oh, hells no!

You have to admit though, the sponge on the windshield is funny.

Nicole would be perfect as Narcissa.
but that's why i think the books are always better than the movies, you can just picture everything the way you want (also in the gossip girl books there's an actual kiss instead of just gay touching).
I have to agree: FAIL :( come on..

Dude.
D;
I'm freaking out over the weird brown hair that's crouching on top of her head like a pissed off tabby cat.
ON WHAT PLANET DID THIS SEEM LIKE A GOOD IDEA?!?

Oh, I know. What we have gotten is pretty much the antithesis of what Narcissa was in my head. It's like they got EVERYTHING wrong. The only way the casting and costuming could be more full of fail is if they had hired a dude (actually, scratch that Candis Cayne (http://bp3.blogger.com/_BcAhLr85Pvs/RrGAHcyfM_I/AAAAAAAAKSQ/kK-5-E3ZZ_E/s400/candis1.jpg) would make a fierce as fuck Narcissa!

*le sigh*

Tis true, tis true.

MILF MILF MILF MILF MILF (which is totally what Narcissa should be, bitch!face and all!)

WHAT THE HELL - WHAT IS THIS?

*feels your pain*

But they kept her 50,000 years old!? MY EYES!

LOL!

I always pictured her having almost perfect white hair and skin as flawless as like...porcelain. The complete OPPOSITE of the rest of the black family.

This.

sloppily applied lipstick to her face.

OMG, this! This! This! It's like the makeup artist got in there, took one look at her and was like "FUUUUUUUUUUCK! What the hell am I suppose to do with this?" and then like applied the makeup while talking on her cell and eating a turkey wrap or something.

Nicole Kidman dressed as Mrs. Coulter would have been MUCH better

Nicole Kidman as Mrs. Coulter was the sex. TEH SEX! Mrs. Coulter is pretty much exactly how I pictured Narcissa. All icy charm and dazzling good looks that make you want to be charmed even though you suspect she's a cold, devious bitch!

I can't imagine THAT in one of your fics!

*shudders* I know. Just stick with the image of Watts or Kidman (that's what I'm gonna do!)

Olivia Wilde as young Bella will occupy my dreams forever!

I think I'd pictured Rachel (http://overbreadth.com/wp-content/uploads/2008/04/rachel_nichols0025.jpg) Nichols (http://farm1.static.flickr.com/158/333445220_faa012d940.jpg) as the young Narcissa that went along with Olivia as Bella.

yeah, that one
she's much better
and I'm w illing to pretend she's old enough to be that wussy's mom if the producers are willing to consider casting her *nods*

I know. It's so full of fail. It's hard to think of any casting that would have been WORSE. That woman is JUST NOT Narcissa. She's not even remotely Narcissa-esque.

That pretty much sums it up

Nicole Kidman as Narcissa...*drools*

I noes, bb. I noes.

You have to admit though, the sponge on the windshield is funny.

Oh, it's hella funny. That picture is golden. failblog.org is full of pure hilarity like that. I'm in love with it.

Case in point:

that's why i think the books are always better than the movies, you can just picture everything the way you want

Very true. Sometimes casting can get it just right, but other times it makes you cringe.

(also in the gossip girl books there's an actual kiss instead of just gay touching).

*sigh* This is why I need a CW Fail picture. Ignoring textual gay is not cool people. *freaks*ITSNOTFUCKINGCOOLOKAYHOMOPHOBEASSHOLESKEEPINGTHEHOTGOGAFROMME*

ON WHAT PLANET DID THIS SEEM LIKE A GOOD IDEA?!?

I don't know, but whatever wonderful crack they were on for the ENTIRE FILMING OF THIS MOVIE, I want some it, because it must have been GOOD SHIT for them to think that this disaster was a good idea.

Seriously, WB. Hook me up with some of that shit. It's the only way I'm gonna make it through Narcissa's scenes without weeping in a really embarrassing way in the theater.

"FUUUUUUUUUUCK! What the hell am I suppose to do with this?" and then like applied the makeup while talking on her cell and eating a turkey wrap or something.

LMFAO, she was probably on the phone with her dead great aunt for ideas. "WHAT DID YOU DO BACK IN THE DAY WHEN YOUR FACE WAS THIS FUCKED UP?" Did you know that Wikipedia now has comments about Narcissa's hair in it? It's crazy.

Nicole Kidman as Mrs. Coulter was the sex. TEH SEX!

Dude, Mrs Coulter PERIOD was the sex. She was even better in the book though (in my opinion) and you know that her seducing Lyra was totally cannon. As much as I despise chan and as much as I tell myself that incest is horrible and bad and WRONG, I'm so drawn to that ship; my resistance only makes the experience more enjoyable.

"WHAT DID YOU DO BACK IN THE DAY WHEN YOUR FACE WAS THIS FUCKED UP?"

LOL! OMG, you bring the lulz :D

Did you know that Wikipedia now has comments about Narcissa's hair in it? It's crazy.

People are upset about this shit! You can't just fuck up Narcissa muthafucking Malfoy like that without expecting people to go crazy and shit. I'm waiting for the facebook groups to pop up, lol. And now that I've mocked the crazy weirdos that started this ... do you have a link to the page? I need to look ... and laugh ... and look somemore.

Dude, Mrs Coulter PERIOD was the sex. She was even better in the book though

This is trufax. I loved Mrs. Coulter in the books. I would have read an entire series just about her. I was just glad that Kidman and her golden locks didn't fuck Coulter up and even managed to be sexy as fuck too. I have always pictured Catherine Zeta-Jones in my head for book!Coulter. So yeah, both versions were hot, but book!Coulter was fiercer RAWR!

you know that her seducing Lyra was totally cannon.

Dude, I felt dirty reading about Coulter's seduction of Lyra, but not dirty enough to stop reading or watching ... or wishing that it would continue forever.

As much as I despise chan and as much as I tell myself that incest is horrible and bad and WRONG, I'm so drawn to that ship; my resistance only makes the experience more enjoyable.

I've long since given into the occasional incest pairing (blackcest is best!) but I've stayed away from chan. But, yeah. Coulter and Lyra were kind of disturbingly chemistry ridden. I think I could read future fics. I would creep myself out, but I know I would read it, lol.

I'm on the Joely Richardson boat for Narcissa. And much as I love HBC, I still think Anna Chancellor is the only actress who could've played Bellatrix the way she was in the books.

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