Goddamn you WB! Why?? Fucking why man???
Oct. 29th, 2008 05:36 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
fembuckSo a new promotional image of Narcissa from Half-Blood Prince has been released.
Now, I don't want to be a hater, but .... FAIL FAIL FAIL FAIL FAIL FAIL FAIL FAIL FAIL FAIL FAIL FAIL FAIL FAIL FAIL FAIL !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
HAIR FAIL!
EYEBROW FAIL!
LIPSTICK FAIL!
HAIR FAIL! (it had to be said twice)
SHOE FAIL!
AGE FAIL x 1000 (she is supposed to be the YOUNGEST sister you fuckers! This chick looks like she used to steal McGonagall's fucking homework back in the Jazz Age, or some shit. I call fuckery on you WB, I call FUCKERY!!!!.
I'll admit it, the pose is aiight still.
But seriously people ... LOOK!
I mean REALLY? NARCISSA MALFOY SHOULD NOT BE LOOKIN' LIKE A HOT TRANNY MESS!
I did not sign up to see Helena-Bonham Carter eye-fucking Cruella fucking Deville! I did NOT!
See ... Bellatrix won't stand for this shit either!
Fuck the WB man, that is not my Narcissa. This:
OR
THIS is my Narcissa!.
Shiiiiiit, I'm done man. I need a drink ...
Now, I don't want to be a hater, but .... FAIL FAIL FAIL FAIL FAIL FAIL FAIL FAIL FAIL FAIL FAIL FAIL FAIL FAIL FAIL FAIL !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
HAIR FAIL!
EYEBROW FAIL!
LIPSTICK FAIL!
HAIR FAIL! (it had to be said twice)
SHOE FAIL!
AGE FAIL x 1000 (she is supposed to be the YOUNGEST sister you fuckers! This chick looks like she used to steal McGonagall's fucking homework back in the Jazz Age, or some shit. I call fuckery on you WB, I call FUCKERY!!!!.
I'll admit it, the pose is aiight still.
But seriously people ... LOOK!
I mean REALLY? NARCISSA MALFOY SHOULD NOT BE LOOKIN' LIKE A HOT TRANNY MESS!
I did not sign up to see Helena-Bonham Carter eye-fucking Cruella fucking Deville! I did NOT!
See ... Bellatrix won't stand for this shit either!
Fuck the WB man, that is not my Narcissa. This:
OR
THIS is my Narcissa!.
Shiiiiiit, I'm done man. I need a drink ...
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no subject
Date: 2008-10-29 10:07 pm (UTC)what happened to the narcissa from the second movie??? i would have taken that any over this. and thats coming from a creepy old lady fancier :[
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Date: 2008-10-29 10:16 pm (UTC)I know, bb. I know.
what happened to the narcissa from the second movie???
There was a Narcissa in the second movie? I thought she hadn't been on screen yet (I was bitching and moaning forever when she didn't show up in GoF).
and thats coming from a creepy old lady fancier :[
I like the old ladies too, lol. I'm totes perving on Elisabeth Sladen right now. Old lady's can be hot too, but not this one ... and NOT as Narcissa.
no subject
Date: 2008-10-29 10:18 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2008-10-30 12:29 am (UTC)*le sigh*
(no subject)
From:no subject
Date: 2008-10-29 10:23 pm (UTC)So much pretty in that one picture... I WANT!
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Date: 2008-10-30 12:30 am (UTC)MILF MILF MILF MILF MILF (which is totally what Narcissa should be, bitch!face and all!)
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Date: 2008-10-29 10:28 pm (UTC)I was PRAYING that the last picture was just a dress rehearsal, that they were going to like computer animate her ugliness away or dye her hair later. But they kept her 50,000 years old!? MY EYES!
I always pictured her having almost perfect white hair and skin as flawless as like...porcelain. The complete OPPOSITE of the rest of the black family. It's almost as if WB was all "WELL, SHE ALREADY LOOKS LIKE CRAP, SO WHY BOTHER TRYING!?" and sloppily applied lipstick to her face.
This chick looks like she used to steal McGonagall's fucking homework back in the Jazz Age, or some shit.
Are you crazy? She'd be the professor assigning McGonagall's homework. Do you see that heavy cotton/corduroy/whatever-the-hell-it-is jacket-thing she's wearing? Narcissa would probably die before even THINKING of wearing something like that. Nicole Kidman dressed as Mrs. Coulter would have been MUCH better then Helena McCroy. Uhg. *rants*
Whats the world coming to!? *sobs*
no subject
Date: 2008-10-30 12:34 am (UTC)*feels your pain*
But they kept her 50,000 years old!? MY EYES!
LOL!
I always pictured her having almost perfect white hair and skin as flawless as like...porcelain. The complete OPPOSITE of the rest of the black family.
This.
sloppily applied lipstick to her face.
OMG, this! This! This! It's like the makeup artist got in there, took one look at her and was like "FUUUUUUUUUUCK! What the hell am I suppose to do with this?" and then like applied the makeup while talking on her cell and eating a turkey wrap or something.
Nicole Kidman dressed as Mrs. Coulter would have been MUCH better
Nicole Kidman as Mrs. Coulter was the sex. TEH SEX! Mrs. Coulter is pretty much exactly how I pictured Narcissa. All icy charm and dazzling good looks that make you want to be charmed even though you suspect she's a cold, devious bitch!
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Date: 2008-10-30 12:35 am (UTC)*shudders* I know. Just stick with the image of Watts or Kidman (that's what I'm gonna do!)
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Date: 2008-10-29 10:30 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2008-10-30 12:39 am (UTC)I think I'd pictured Rachel (http://overbreadth.com/wp-content/uploads/2008/04/rachel_nichols0025.jpg) Nichols (http://farm1.static.flickr.com/158/333445220_faa012d940.jpg) as the young Narcissa that went along with Olivia as Bella.
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Date: 2008-10-29 10:31 pm (UTC)WTF? That's just not Narcissa. That's some pretty bad casting.
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Date: 2008-10-30 12:40 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2008-10-29 11:05 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2008-10-30 12:41 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2008-10-29 11:22 pm (UTC)You have to admit though, the sponge on the windshield is funny.
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Date: 2008-10-30 12:45 am (UTC)I noes, bb. I noes.
You have to admit though, the sponge on the windshield is funny.
Oh, it's hella funny. That picture is golden. failblog.org is full of pure hilarity like that. I'm in love with it.
Case in point:
Aww :(
Date: 2008-10-29 11:47 pm (UTC)but that's why i think the books are always better than the movies, you can just picture everything the way you want (also in the gossip girl books there's an actual kiss instead of just gay touching).
I have to agree: FAIL :( come on..
Re: Aww :(
Date: 2008-10-30 12:48 am (UTC)Very true. Sometimes casting can get it just right, but other times it makes you cringe.
(also in the gossip girl books there's an actual kiss instead of just gay touching).
*sigh* This is why I need a CW Fail picture. Ignoring textual gay is not cool people. *freaks*ITSNOTFUCKINGCOOLOKAYHOMOPHOBEASSHOLESKEEPINGTHEHOTGOGAFROMME*
Curse of the Cat
Date: 2008-10-30 12:07 am (UTC)D;
I'm freaking out over the weird brown hair that's crouching on top of her head like a pissed off tabby cat.
ON WHAT PLANET DID THIS SEEM LIKE A GOOD IDEA?!?
Re: Curse of the Cat
Date: 2008-10-30 12:50 am (UTC)I don't know, but whatever wonderful crack they were on for the ENTIRE FILMING OF THIS MOVIE, I want some it, because it must have been GOOD SHIT for them to think that this disaster was a good idea.
Seriously, WB. Hook me up with some of that shit. It's the only way I'm gonna make it through Narcissa's scenes without weeping in a really embarrassing way in the theater.
no subject
Date: 2008-10-30 02:01 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2008-10-30 02:13 am (UTC)OMFG! I LOVE Anna Chancellor. I'd never thought of her, but now that you say it, she would have been an awesome Bellatrix (and you're right, she would have been much more chilling and nightmarish, than cartoon-y evil like HBC's Bella is). Goddamn, now I'm thinking about Anna Chancellor as Bellatrix and ... *I'll be in my bunk*
Anna and Joely would have made a very visually pleasing duo, very visually pleasing indeed (not to mention statuesque :D ).
(no subject)
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Date: 2008-10-30 02:38 am (UTC)No seriously...What is THAT?
D: WTF IS WRONG WITH PEOPLE. The age just...It just...akfjda;klsdfjsadf...Thats what it does. it...dakofjsdkfjas;ldfj....IN that order. D: The fuck IS that?!!
T___T WB you haz let me down...But this isn't really new...DUDE D: SHE LOOKS LIKE MCGONAGALL...FUCK SHE DOES. AHHHhhhh head hurts...Need a break. -returns to book land- D: aha...
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Date: 2008-10-30 03:18 am (UTC)I wish I had an answer for you, but all I can do is gape at the picture and make gagging sounds. I don't think that there is any logic in this world or any other that could explain this casting. I think even Satan would want a hotter harbinger to announce hellfire raining down on earth.
SHE LOOKS LIKE MCGONAGALL...FUCK SHE DOES.
What's tragic is that this actress is like a goof fucking thirty years younger than McGonagall. But they look like they used to hang out in knee socks together.
-returns to book land-
Good idea *thinks about imaginary Narcissa and ... UNF!*
no subject
Date: 2008-10-30 02:38 am (UTC)HAHAHAHA oh man.
She looks ridiculously old, like what did she have Draco when she was 47?
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Date: 2008-10-30 03:20 am (UTC)LOL! I know right? I don't understand why they've cast this (and the other movies) so old. Narcissa should be like mid-late thirties! (and okay, I realize that the actress playing her is only like 40 or some shit, but she looks ANCIENT!)
(no subject)
From:no subject
Date: 2008-10-30 02:41 am (UTC)I could find some random airhead in the mall whose MOM could do better. With no preparation. And doing her own makeup (apparently the entire makeup budget went to the purchase of frizzy old-lady hair products--guaranteed to make you lok creepy, ridiculous, AND 10 years older).
Ugh. Just, ugh.
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Date: 2008-10-30 03:23 am (UTC)Tis true. It is more full of fail than this:
Since when does anyone in Hollywood believe in casting women OLDER than the role calls for.
I know!!! What is that about? Why did they have to get all progressive and shit when it comes to my hot piece of HP ass, Narcissa fucking Malfoy. Follow the status quo on this one people, give me a hot piece of ass please! Or at least if they're casting older, cast a hot piece of ass (ala Michelle Pfieffer)
(apparently the entire makeup budget went to the purchase of frizzy old-lady hair products--guaranteed to make you lok creepy, ridiculous, AND 10 years older).
This. I totes agree, I totes agree!
(no subject)
From:no subject
Date: 2008-10-30 02:54 am (UTC)So awful. D:
no subject
Date: 2008-10-30 03:24 am (UTC)*is deeply saddened*
no subject
Date: 2008-10-30 03:00 am (UTC)Now I'm reminded of a quote I read on
From now on, the movie!Narcissa will be called Not Gay, The One Who Kills Femslash. *weeps*
BTW, sorry I don't comment much lately, life is weird, but I still love and read your fics.
no subject
Date: 2008-10-30 03:27 am (UTC)I feel ur pain, bb. I feel ur pain.
"Lucius is married to a girl that is called not gay."
That makes me 'lol' even though I don't get it.
This, the movie!Narcissa will be called Not Gay, The One Who Kills Femslash, however = trufax. I will have to scrub this woman's memory from my mind in order to write blackcest again. *pictures Mrs. Coulter, pictures Mrs. Coulter ... and sexy time is back*
BTW, sorry I don't comment much lately, life is weird, but I still love and read your fics.
No worries, RL gets like that. It's nice to hear from you, and I'm glad your still milling about :D
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Date: 2008-10-30 05:29 am (UTC)Oh who am I kidding, HER NAME IS NARCISSA! AS IN NARCISSISTIC! AS IN OBSESSED WITH OWN APPEARANCE AND BEAUTY!
This is not a woman who has those eyebrows. And I really just don't understand her hair. I am honestly confused by what's supposed to be going on there.
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Date: 2008-10-30 11:10 am (UTC)You know what, I was telling myself that for a while too, but fuck it! There are plenty of blonde actresses out there who are good at what they do, and there are plenty between the ages of 35-45 (hell 35-50!!!) who look younger, classier, and fiercer than this chick. It's just bad casting ... more than that it's purposefully bad casting. If ANYONE was in contention for the role of Bellatrix, THEY SHOULD NEVER have been considered for Narcissa. Visually they are polar opposites. A blind, dumb monkey would know this.
AS IN NARCISSISTIC! AS IN OBSESSED WITH OWN APPEARANCE AND BEAUTY!
Preach!
And I really just don't understand her hair. I am honestly confused by what's supposed to be going on there.
There is no excuse for the hair. None. The only explanation I've heard that explains it is that they wanted the dark streak to give a visual clue that Narcissa is related to the brunette Bellatrix. But I'm rejecting this idea BECAUSE IT IS UNBELIEVABLY INSULTING TO THE AUDIENCE. If the WB truly believes that it's audience is THAT FUCKING DUMB then I would have to not see the movie.
(no subject)
From:no subject
Date: 2008-10-30 06:42 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2008-10-30 11:05 am (UTC)I know, you should gasp when you see Narcissa because you can't believe someone so beautiful (though icy and aloof) exists. This is seriously, just a little more fucked up than the casting for Rosalie in Twilight.
Not some garbage mister from planet grandma with cigarette voice and man face.
LMAO! OMG, thank you for that. It is entirely too early in the morning and I am entirely too tired, but you made being awake worth it.
Christ on a cracker, what the fuck?!
I know, fuckery is not even descriptive enough to handle shit like this.
(no subject)
From:no subject
Date: 2008-10-30 09:44 am (UTC)Holy Crap, that is anything but attractive, or young.
*Shudders*
no subject
Date: 2008-10-30 11:12 am (UTC)This. OMG, this!
Holy Crap, that is anything but attractive, or young.
1. Your use of "that" makes me LOL like crazy. I love it.
2. So true. They fucked up every thing that was ever told to use about Narcissa in the books with this casting. It's like they read the descriptions of her, and then went out of their way to make her the exact opposite. I mean, THE HAIR! THE HAIR! WTF!?!?!?!?!
(no subject)
From:no subject
Date: 2008-10-30 01:41 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2008-10-31 01:49 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2008-10-30 03:18 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2008-10-31 01:50 am (UTC)EVIL SONS OF BITCHES!
*gives the finger to the WB*
Whatever, Blackcest will live on, long and strong with the image of Nicole Kidman as Mrs. Coulter in our heads to fuel our pervy fantasies. BLACKCEST IS BEST! IT WILL NEVER DIE!!!
WOW
Date: 2008-10-30 06:42 pm (UTC)FAIL... ... ...
EPIC FAIL!
Re: WOW
Date: 2008-10-31 01:51 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2008-10-30 11:00 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2008-10-31 01:51 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2008-11-01 04:31 pm (UTC)