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fembuckOnce again, not the REAL title of the episode, but it fits so much better.
OMG, I hate this show so much. It sucks soooooo bad. I can barely accept the fact that I just watched something so completely horrible.
I *sputters* how could they do just about everything wrong?
Jane is a fucking moron! My god, I couldn't stand Jane this episode. Her bright idea for getting the charges dropped, "What if I just lie and say that Connor and I were at Starbucks drinking Frappacino's? Even though police officers arrested him coming out of the house and reporters were there within minutes to take photos and put Connor's face on the news, it's my word against theirs!"!?!?!?! The fuck? Even if numerous police officers hadn't seen Connor leave the house why would anybody take her word over theirs? Who does she think she is, Jesus? Egomanical idiot! She's an ex-DEA agent who was brought up on charges on drug possession and according to current records is likely unemployed and is friends with the defendant, yeah Jane, they'd totally take your word. UGH!
Her second bright idea. "Maybe we're dealing with someone who has a motive!" OH MY GOD YOU ARE A FUCKING GENIUS JANE! Let me see if I can follow your argument. Someone, a human being lets say, commits a crime. But they didn't just do it because whatever ... no, they ... oh oh, I'm almost getting it. They did it because ... uhhhh because they had a ... a.... reason! Yeah, yeah, they had a reason! And another word for reason is motive, and OMG Jane, how did you figure that out so quickly???
And I'm not even going to get into Jane sitting in the courtroom again after pretending to get shot by McBride.
Why did they have an expert witness testifying at a bail hearing? It's a bail hearing! The ADA goes in wearing a flashy suit, says that the defendant is a flight risk and asks for half a million in bail or remand. The judge looks bored, makes a decision and bangs the gavel before the next case comes in. It's nosy and busy and there are no expert witness testimonies. So lazy! I mean Law and Order is played in reruns pretty much every hour of the day somewhere in the world, and they have one of those scenes EVERY EPISODE!
And don't even get me started on the oral hand jobs for Connor that were the opening and closing monologue. I hate the opening and closing monologues, but these were just unbelievably horrible. I think Loken and Danby must be dating, because there is no other explanation for those fawning, schoolgirl voice-overs. I mean, jeebus Lokinator keep it in your pants. I fear seeing Jane and Connor on screen now because she's always looking at him like he's her favoritest teddy bear in the world and she wants to hug him, and squeeze and call him George. Horrifying!
HA! McBride: "I'm very good at wait I do. I can approach a man from a 100 meters and he'd never hear me coming." HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! NO YOU AREN'T AND NO YOU CAN'T!!! Did we not see McBride leading a ball of agents across a parking lot in broad daylight, only to walk in a clump behind the suspect while talking in regular voices like TWO EPISODES AGO! And I can't think of him being very good at anything except sucking hardcore since the show started. I can't believe they had the balls to write that, or that Stewart could deliver it with a straight face. Between that and Huffman's "We've changed your mind. *pause* About changing people's minds", I'm beginning to think these guys are brilliant actors for being able to choke these lines out without dying of embarrassment.
What the hell was up with those shots of Connor growling with fire in the background?!?! My god that was horrendous. What the hell was it even supposed to mean? Why do the producers of this show do stupid shit like this EVERY episode?
Connor's escape plan = most retarded ever! Seriously, to quote my boy Simon Tam, Connor is just this box dropping man-ape gone wrong thing! He's sooooooo dumb!
They clearly showed that lawyer with half his body engulfed in flames, but then Jane jumps on him and suddenly everything is dandy. He didn't even look particularly sooty. And there wasn't even a grimace of pain to suggest that he had gotten burned. I guess Jane just used her magic Jesus powers. No wonder she has so much wine around all the time!
And, that's it for me, I can't even go on with all the other things that were wrong.
Honestly, I think this might be the worst episode ever. *shudders*
OMG, I hate this show so much. It sucks soooooo bad. I can barely accept the fact that I just watched something so completely horrible.
I *sputters* how could they do just about everything wrong?
Jane is a fucking moron! My god, I couldn't stand Jane this episode. Her bright idea for getting the charges dropped, "What if I just lie and say that Connor and I were at Starbucks drinking Frappacino's? Even though police officers arrested him coming out of the house and reporters were there within minutes to take photos and put Connor's face on the news, it's my word against theirs!"!?!?!?! The fuck? Even if numerous police officers hadn't seen Connor leave the house why would anybody take her word over theirs? Who does she think she is, Jesus? Egomanical idiot! She's an ex-DEA agent who was brought up on charges on drug possession and according to current records is likely unemployed and is friends with the defendant, yeah Jane, they'd totally take your word. UGH!
Her second bright idea. "Maybe we're dealing with someone who has a motive!" OH MY GOD YOU ARE A FUCKING GENIUS JANE! Let me see if I can follow your argument. Someone, a human being lets say, commits a crime. But they didn't just do it because whatever ... no, they ... oh oh, I'm almost getting it. They did it because ... uhhhh because they had a ... a.... reason! Yeah, yeah, they had a reason! And another word for reason is motive, and OMG Jane, how did you figure that out so quickly???
And I'm not even going to get into Jane sitting in the courtroom again after pretending to get shot by McBride.
Why did they have an expert witness testifying at a bail hearing? It's a bail hearing! The ADA goes in wearing a flashy suit, says that the defendant is a flight risk and asks for half a million in bail or remand. The judge looks bored, makes a decision and bangs the gavel before the next case comes in. It's nosy and busy and there are no expert witness testimonies. So lazy! I mean Law and Order is played in reruns pretty much every hour of the day somewhere in the world, and they have one of those scenes EVERY EPISODE!
And don't even get me started on the oral hand jobs for Connor that were the opening and closing monologue. I hate the opening and closing monologues, but these were just unbelievably horrible. I think Loken and Danby must be dating, because there is no other explanation for those fawning, schoolgirl voice-overs. I mean, jeebus Lokinator keep it in your pants. I fear seeing Jane and Connor on screen now because she's always looking at him like he's her favoritest teddy bear in the world and she wants to hug him, and squeeze and call him George. Horrifying!
HA! McBride: "I'm very good at wait I do. I can approach a man from a 100 meters and he'd never hear me coming." HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! NO YOU AREN'T AND NO YOU CAN'T!!! Did we not see McBride leading a ball of agents across a parking lot in broad daylight, only to walk in a clump behind the suspect while talking in regular voices like TWO EPISODES AGO! And I can't think of him being very good at anything except sucking hardcore since the show started. I can't believe they had the balls to write that, or that Stewart could deliver it with a straight face. Between that and Huffman's "We've changed your mind. *pause* About changing people's minds", I'm beginning to think these guys are brilliant actors for being able to choke these lines out without dying of embarrassment.
What the hell was up with those shots of Connor growling with fire in the background?!?! My god that was horrendous. What the hell was it even supposed to mean? Why do the producers of this show do stupid shit like this EVERY episode?
Connor's escape plan = most retarded ever! Seriously, to quote my boy Simon Tam, Connor is just this box dropping man-ape gone wrong thing! He's sooooooo dumb!
They clearly showed that lawyer with half his body engulfed in flames, but then Jane jumps on him and suddenly everything is dandy. He didn't even look particularly sooty. And there wasn't even a grimace of pain to suggest that he had gotten burned. I guess Jane just used her magic Jesus powers. No wonder she has so much wine around all the time!
And, that's it for me, I can't even go on with all the other things that were wrong.
Honestly, I think this might be the worst episode ever. *shudders*
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no subject
Date: 2007-06-16 05:43 pm (UTC)Connor is just this box dropping man-ape gone wrong thing! He's sooooooo dumb!
*small voice* I think Connor's kinda cute. In a neanderthalish, prison sex kinda way. But then, this isn't Oz and unless it's Beecher wearing dick-suck red lipstick, *no one* should be giving Connor a tongue bath, let alone Jane!
Honestly, I think this might be the worst episode ever. *shudders*
Ha! You must not have seen the previews for next week! Plus, you just *know* McBride's gonna be getting his special episode soon so.. brace yourself.
On a complete side note, Alaina Huffman is *really* pretty.
no subject
Date: 2007-06-16 06:12 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2007-06-16 06:32 pm (UTC)I don't get the promos so I never know what horror awaits me. I keep on hoping that it will be the model episode, but it never is *sobs*.
*small voice* I think Connor's kinda cute. In a neanderthalish, prison sex kinda way. But then, this isn't Oz and unless it's Beecher wearing dick-suck red lipstick, *no one* should be giving Connor a tongue bath, let alone Jane!
I've got nothing against Danby's looks, he's the best looking guy on the show. And I actually like the type of character that Connor is usually (ex. my love for Jayne on Firefly). I usually like the brutish, bad-boy character, but Connor is sooo dumb. I mean he tried to escape from jail by running INTO the courtroom. That's just not hot. And like everyone else on the show he's badly written which doesn't help I mean this line "I think he would have looked good as a crispy critter" about a man that almost burned to death was supposed to be funny, but it wasn't and it made him seem like a jerk. Like, "Dear Diary...today I was pompous and my sister was crazy." is an an asshole thing to say, but at least it's funny and that's why I love Jayne.
Also, the Jane/Connor vibes is not doing anything to endear either character to me.
Ha! You must not have seen the previews for next week!
No *is scared* What did it show? I want to know what I'm getting myself into. Maybe I can then brace myself for the horror, or at least numb myself to it with bacardi before watching.
On a complete side note, Alaina Huffman is *really* pretty.
Yeah, she is. In that scene in the cell with Connor I was just like "she's purty" and blocked out most of the other stuff, which made it I think the most enjoyable scene in the episode.
no subject
Date: 2007-06-16 07:04 pm (UTC)Ooh, then you're in for a big surprise, next week is *totally* the model episode!
Also, the Jane/Connor vibes is not doing anything to endear either character to me.
Yeah, I caught the last five minutes and Jane's really endeared herself to a guy she's known for practically a day and believes, on a subconscious level, he'd put a bullet in her head and drop her in an open grave in a heartbeat.
In that scene in the cell with Connor I was just like "she's purty"..
It's getting to the point where I'm hoping she gets transferred off the team and shipped to Eureka where she can hang out with Jo who'd totally appreciate having Mo on the team. If you know what I mean and I think you do.
no subject
Date: 2007-06-16 09:04 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2007-06-16 09:32 pm (UTC)It's maddening. Way too much Ugly love. With everyone looking at him with big doe-eyes, and getting all mushy over him. Why is it that when we got a Mo episode, she was a bitch... but Connor, the hairless ape, turns out to be the gentle giant everyone wants to take home and cuddle. Gah.
The previews for the model episode didn't look as promising as I had hoped... it seemed like there was a lot of McBride in them. Hopefully, they were just being as misleading as usual.
Hey, what's become of the train-guy? (Or was it subway-guy?) I keep expecting him to wander past in the background and look sympathetic.
no subject
Date: 2007-06-17 06:13 am (UTC)Isn't this exactly why Loken wanted to be an exec producer? To avoid having a show that sucks too much? I'm afraid it's not working out.
no subject
Date: 2007-06-18 07:33 am (UTC)