Fic: Scar Tissue (Echo/Claire, Dollhouse)

[fembuck]

Title: Scar Tissue
Author: Janine
Fandom: Dollhouse
Pairing: Echo/Claire
Rating: PG
Disclaimer: I don’t own them.
Summary: Echo won’t stop looking at Claire.
Author’s Note: I apologize if there are more typos in this than usual. It was written and edited in a mildly inebriated state (which I will deny still being in). Forgive me.

---

Echo was fascinated by Claire’s scars, much to Claire’s chagrin. When she moved through Echo’s exercises after a mission, Echo’s eyes would hold on her face, the woman’s wide brown eyes tracing over her features, her gaze so concentrated that Claire could almost feel it, like fingers trailing gently over her skin.

She hated people staring at the scars. She knew why they drew people stares, she had a story of tragedy carved into her face, and people were fascinated and horrified and repulsed by it. They wanted to know what had happened to her, what horrible nightmarish episode she had gone through, what kind of miraculous story or courage and survival was buried inside of her. The scars made her a person of interest.

She didn’t hate it when Echo looked at her, and she was unnerved by it. She didn’t understand the look in Echo’s eyes when the young woman watched her. Echo’s gaze wasn’t intense and probing, it wasn’t intrusively speculative; it didn’t judge or assume things about her because of what had been done to her face. Echo’s gaze wasn’t like any of the others she had gotten from people since the incident.

When Echo looked at her, Claire almost felt as if the woman didn’t see the scars at all. Claire could usually feel people’s eyes as they cut across her scars, their gazes slashing across her old wounds again and again before they suddenly looked away. The scars were all most people saw of her. But, Echo … Echo didn’t seem to see the scars at all. No, no, that wasn’t right. Echo did see the scars, but they were not the sum total of her. To Echo they were just another part of her, like her eyes or her nose or her mouth. They were part of what made her up, but they did not define her. They were not all Echo saw when she looked at her.

When Echo looked at her, it was soft and wondering. When Echo looked at her, it felt like a caress instead of a slap. Echo’s gaze didn’t strike her, sting in horrified silence for a moment, and then fade again. Echo’s gaze lingered on her features, dusted and caressed them, reveling in discovering the wonder of her face. When Echo looked at her, Claire felt beautiful, and that unnerved her because it had been such a very long time since she had felt anything that even distantly resembled beautiful.

“Why are you scared of me?”

Claire blinked, her gaze slowly focusing on Echo on the table in front of her. Echo was sitting up on the table, her right arm outstretched towards her, and Claire realized that she was leaning away from Echo, her back arched almost painfully as she recoiled from the woman’s fingers. She hadn’t even realized what had happened. She had turned so often from people since the incident that it was her natural instinct now to fear touch instead of crave it.

“I’m not, Echo,” Claire said softly, straightening her back as she reached for Echo’s hand and took it into her own, cradling it gently. “You surprised me. That’s all,” Claire murmured gently, glancing down at Echo’s pale fingers for a moment before she bent her head and pressed her lips against Echo’s pale fingers for a moment, hoping to distract the woman, before she lowered Echo’s arm.

“But,” Echo began, her gaze dropping down to look at the hand Claire had kissed as if she were fascinated by the way the light was reflecting off of a small patch of skin where Claire’s lips had left a touch of moisture on her. “You never let me touch you,” Echo continued, tearing her eyes away from her hand so that she could look at Claire. “You always turn. Just usually slower,” she continued, staring at Claire again, this time with confusion.

“I let you touch me,” Claire said, careful to keep her voice carefully modulated for ease and contentment. “I let you walk me in here,” Claire continued, reminding Echo of the way she had let Echo take her arm and guide her gallantly into the lab.

It wasn’t something that Echo had done before, and Claire suspected that it had something to do with Echo’s last mission. Echo had been imprinted with the memories of an avid buff, with a particular love for the Golden Age of cinema, where panache and manners counted for something. She had long suspected that the wiping process wasn’t as complete as Topher claimed, and the more Echo and the other Dolls did things like taking a lady’s hand to help her enter a room, the more Claire became convinced that there was much about the technology they were using that they didn’t understand.

“Yes,” Echo said, her gaze losing focus as she remembered walking Claire to the lab. Her lips curved up into a smile, and Claire smiled back, seeing the faraway look in Echo’s eyes that meant she had been distracted and would lose the thread of conversation any moment. “But not your face,” Echo said blinking, her gaze clearing as she focused her thoughts once more.

Claire blinked and had to control the urge to jerk away. Echo had forced herself to focus, to remember what they had been discussing. When one of the Dolls got a look like that in their eyes, Claire had never known them to regroup and refocus.

“I don’t like people touching my face,” Claire responded, turning her back on Echo as she moved to the side of the room to fiddle needlessly in a few drawers in order to give herself an excuse not to look at Echo.

“Why?” Echo asked, angling her body so that she could follow Claire’s progress as she stalked her way from one part of the lab to another.

“I just don’t,” Claire replied, wishing that Echo wasn’t so curious.

“Why?” Echo asked, her eyebrows furrowing as Claire’s tone became more stressed, and her movement more hurried.

“I don’t want people looking at me,” Claire said, pausing as she moved over to the sink, her eyes closing for a moment as she realized what she had said. She hadn’t meant to say that out loud. It was one of the truths about herself that she was aware other people knew, but it wasn’t something to be spoken of out loud.

“I look at you,” Echo said firmly, her voice ringing with a faint edge of passion, even as confusion curled around her words as well. “I like looking at you,” she continued, that passion in her voice taking control as she determined to go head and say what she wanted to say. “It’s nice to look at you. You’re beautiful,” Echo went on, focusing her eyes on Claire’s face. “Looking at you makes me feel happy.”

Claire’s back stiffened, and then she turned her head to gaze at Echo, her heart clenching powerfully beneath her breast as she saw the conviction and the longing in Echo’s face. She could feel the truth of the woman’s words, and it took her breath away. Could she have meant it? Claire wondered, her mind boggling at the idea. No. No!

“You mustn’t,” Claire began, moving towards Echo unconsciously. “You mustn’t,” she repeated from Echo’s said, her hands clasping Echo’s own, “tell lies,” Claire continued, her voice shaking slightly as she stared at Echo firmly. “You mustn’t tell lies,” Claire said urgently, ignoring the fact that the woman’s entire life was a lie. “Not even if you think it’s something someone wants to hear.”

“I’m not,” Echo protested, her face scrunching up with genuine offense as she looked up at Claire. “I like your face. It’s soft. And kind,” Echo said tracing Claire with her eyes again. “I like to see the way your lips curve up when you smile. It makes my heart beat fast,” Echo said blinking, her eyes dropping down to look at her chest for a moment, as if she could see her heart beginning to pump double-time. “Your face is beautiful.”

Claire’s hands squeezed at Echo’s unconsciously as her eyes began to burn, and warm, salty tears began to trickle from her eyes. She looked ugly and scared and washed up, and she felt ugly and scared and washed up. But she didn’t want to feel that way! She didn’t want to hope, for hope was the true crusher of souls. But, somewhere inside of herself she did. She hoped that she would feel beautiful, and wanted and robust again. Somewhere deep inside of herself, she allowed for the hope that one day she would meet someone who would see past her scars, who would take the time to stop and look and see her.

“I said something wrong,” Echo said, a touch of alarm and panic in her voice as she reached up to take Claire’s face in her hands. Her thumbs moved to Claire’s cheeks and began to rub them almost desperately, trying to take away her tears. “I’m sorry,” Echo said, her thumb, swiping tenderly over the slash that ran across Claire’s left cheek. The soft, concerned caress brought a fresh wave of tears from Claire’s eyes, and Echo’s fingers trembled with worry. “I want you to be happy. I won’t look at you anymore. I won’t look. I promise,” she said bending forward to press her lips against Claire’s cheek, reaching up to clutch the doctor’s body against her own as Claire began to cry again. “I won’t look,” Echo promised again, pressing her lips against Claire’s cheeks again and again, drinking her tears.

“No,” Claire said blinking, capturing Echo’s hands again and holding them in her faintly shaking own. “No, no, don’t,” she continued, shaking her head from side to side as a weak, watery smile touched her lips. “Don’t do that,” she said squeezing Echo’s hands. “It’s alright,” she said, breathing in and out slowly in an attempt to get control of herself. “It’s alright,” she repeated, trying to reassure herself as much as Echo. “What you said, was very nice. It was very kind Echo,” she continued, blinking as her heart began to calm. “Thank you.”

“Thank you,” Echo repeated, her body relaxing, as a tentative smile touched her lips.

“No,” Claire said smiling as she shook her head gently. “You don’t have to say that back, I was just …” Claire continued, Echo’s thumb suddenly moving against her cheek drawing a soft gasp from her and then silence.

“Thank you,” Echo said softly, gently touching her cheek again.

“Oh,” Claire breathed out, her eyelids fluttering, threatening to close as Echo’s thumb ran tenderly over her scar again.

Echo smiled, and a rush of warmth enveloped Claire, momentarily making her breathless.

“Dr. Saunders,” a voice called from Claire’s back at the doorway of the lab.

Claire started, her eyes blinking rapidly as her heart thundered.

She hadn’t heard the door to the lab open.

“Yes,” Claire responded in what she hoped was a mild tone. She took Echo’s hands in hers and lowered them from her face, keeping her back turned to whoever it was that had been assigned the job of summoning her as she did.

“The Director wants to see you,” the nameless, faceless man at the door said.

“Thank you,” Claire replied evenly as she smiled softly at Echo, and stroked the back of her hand soothingly with her thumb. She knew that Echo would have picked up on the change in her tone of voice – the Dolls were very sensitive to tone, like babies – and she didn’t want Echo to think that she was upset with her.

Claire waited until she heard the footfalls of Adelle’s henchman fade, and then she gave Echo’s hand a squeeze before she focused her attention on the woman once again.

“Your session is over,” Claire said, helping Echo off of the table.

“Where are you will you go now?” Echo asked as Claire released her hand and turned towards the door.

“To my office,” Claire responded truthfully. She had to go meet with Adelle, but she needed to pick up her things first.

“Can I walk you?” Echo asked falling in step beside Claire.

“Yes,” Claire said, smiling a little as Echo immediately linked their arms together. “But after you drop me off, you must go straight to bed. You know you need to sleep after a treatment.”

“I promise,” Echo swore before leaning forward to pull the lab door open for Claire, nodding for the doctor to walk through before her.

“Thank you, Echo,” Claire murmured, smiling as the other woman fell in step beside her once more.

“You're welcome,” Echo said returning Claire’s happy expression.

Claire placed her hand over Echo’s as they walked towards her office, her lips involuntary curving up into a soft smile as they moved together. She let the smile come to her face, and for the first time in a long while she didn’t worry about how it would twist the scar that ran over the right side of her lips. Echo’s face made her happy, as hers inexplicably did for the young Doll, and she determined to hold onto the feeling for as long as possible.

The End

Comments

[ishfeeny.livejournal.com]

:] lovely. it makes me kinda sorta really jealous that you can manage to write this well in a slightly/potentially/probably inebriated state. I would have typos up the whazoo and with you, I think there was only one word missing.

And I was talking to my friend earlier about this show, and I didn't even realize that those were scars on her face; the lighting was dark so I just figured it was odd pieces of hair that fell on her face :/

And with that said, I thought she was talking to Echo as if she wanted to do her, but maybe that was just me...

[dangerous-47.livejournal.com]

Damn. That was great. :)

And I'm glad I'm not the only one who was thinking Claire/Echo. lol. XD

Awesome fic. :)

[red-lee.livejournal.com]

Lovely fic :D

[gilligankane.livejournal.com]

i just watched the first episode and when i saw Amy Acker, in my head, i was planning out an Echo/Claire fic, but you beat me too it!
and it's amazing.
actually, all your work is.
so, thank you.

[sapphire-magick.livejournal.com]

That was beautiful. I'm envy how you can still write so well (one obvious typo I can see) even while you're in a inebriated state.

I hope you write more of Echo femslash. I don't know how Eliza does it but she totally give out serious gayastic chemistry whenever she's acting opposite a woman. More so, than acting opposite guys. Funny that.

[dhamphir]

Nice! I watched the way Echo looked at Claire and I think you captured what I saw perfectly. Thank you.

[maekala.livejournal.com]

Yay for Dollhouse femslash! I'm surprised yet happy that someone managed to write it so fast.

This was pure magic. I love the way you captured their interactions, from Echo's child-like innocence to Claire's jaded acceptance. Beautifully done. I hope you continue to write as the show progresses.

[steppenwolf-20.livejournal.com]

OMG! I was praying for someone to write this. And you did!
So thank you!
That scene was so filled with meaning and tension and you delivered that perfectly.
I just hope Adelle won't give her a hard time. I kinda think such a relationship would be forbidden.

[alexz6.livejournal.com]

Damn. I wish I could write that well while inebriated...hell I wish I could write that well sober! :p
I'm very pleased by how you went about this. It's exactly how I pictured another meeting between those two! Echo was soooo lovingly caressing Claire's face during that scene *dreamy sigh* :p hahaha you did an excellent job as usualy and I hope we will be treated with many more of your Echo/Claire fics in the fucture. Hell Echo/anyfemale would be great! :p

[ic1pher.livejournal.com]

I'm sorry but I can't just suspend my belief enough to think that a gay girl looking like Amy Acker wouldn't have flocks of women wooing her affections.

Perhaps after the accident (or whatever it was), she withdrew so much inwards that she stopped seeing the outside world through objectivity and empirical evidence, and started seeing it through her own insecurities.

...but still. I would think that that girl would have more confidence when it comes to her looks. The scars only make her hotter. Damn. If she were anywhere near my proximity, I would literally melt.

Still, your writing, as always: was marvellous. The story needed for Claire to be so vulnerable.

[val-120.livejournal.com]

wow amazing fanfic!
i'm already so in love with claire haha

[anna709.livejournal.com]

That was so lovely. I can see this ship becoming really popular soon. Ah, the loveliness of Echo and Claire. *sighs*

[mrtoulouse.livejournal.com]

Yes! I've been waiting for someone to write this since it aired Friday, I just didn't imagine it would be so soon after.

Well done fic, it's an excellent start to what's probably going to be a very popular pairing.

[trancer21.livejournal.com]

Yay! for chicks who dig chicks with scars fic! And, honestly, you write drunk better than most people write sober!

Claire accepting Echo's touch could have been creepy but Claire's vulnerabilities and insecurities are so palpable, her desperation to be seen as something more than her scars while she tries to keep herself hidden because the thought of being touched scares her. I just.. awwed all over the place!

[geekgrrllurking.livejournal.com]

Excellent as always. I'm so glad you're writing femslash for Dollhouse. The scene with Claire and Echo just screamed for femslash. I loved it and I loved this. Thanks and I hope there is more to come.

[fembuck.livejournal.com]

Thanks so much for commenting! I'm really glad that you enjoyed the story, and that it managed to make sense even though I was high like planes during its composition (but hey, I've heard that works for writers!)

And I was talking to my friend earlier about this show, and I didn't even realize that those were scars on her face; the lighting was dark so I just figured it was odd pieces of hair that fell on her face :/

Same here. I'd heard that the character was scared before the show aired, but I didn't see any scars watching the show when it aired either, and I wondered if they had changed the character description. When I watched a downloaded copy later, I saw them though. It seems Claire's scars are for people with HD tvs only, lol

I thought she was talking to Echo as if she wanted to do her, but maybe that was just me...

It's not just you. Claire was totally getting her seduction on in that scene. It was glorious!

[fembuck.livejournal.com]

Thanks so much, I'm really glad that you enjoyed it :D

And I'm glad I'm not the only one who was thinking Claire/Echo. lol. XD

After seeing the pilot, I'm totes on board the Echo/Claire train! Their scene together was astoundingly gay and I hope they keep it up!

[fembuck.livejournal.com]

Thanks so much! I'm really glad that you enjoyed it :D

[fembuck.livejournal.com]

Thank you so much for commenting! I'm really glad that you enjoyed the story :D

i was planning out an Echo/Claire fic, but you beat me too it!

Don't let that stop you! Do it, do it! Every time someone writes Echo/Claire an angel gets its wings. True story!

[dangerous-47.livejournal.com]

Haha. It's so funny. First a friend commented they saw the Claire/Echo, then you with this fic and then I was reading this: Click-y (http://www.afterellen.com/blog/dorothysnarker/now-that-dollhouse-has-debuted-are-you-ready-to-play)

And it says: And speaking of lesbian-love, I sense a future 'ship in the form of Eliza's Echo and Amy Acker's Dr. Claire Saunders. I can't be the only one who caught a little chemistry when Claire asked Echo if she was ready for her massage.

XD

I'm not as crazy as I thought. Sucess. lol.

[fembuck.livejournal.com]

Thank you so much! I'm really glad that you enjoyed it, and that my compromised state didn't make the story suck!

I hope you write more of Echo femslash.

Oh, that is definitely going to happen. Don't you worry, lol.

I don't know how Eliza does it but she totally give out serious gayastic chemistry whenever she's acting opposite a woman. More so, than acting opposite guys.

I know! It's crazy. She's totally like Angie Harmon that way. It's like, whenever there's another XX in the room, Eliza's got chemistry out the wazoo. That's going to make watching Dollhouse so much fun. Eliza can't control it, which means the gay will never go away :D

[fembuck.livejournal.com]

Thank you so much! I'm thrilled that you enjoyed it, and that it seemed true to what we've seen of the characters so far :D

[fembuck.livejournal.com]

Thank you so much! I'm really glad that you enjoyed it :D

from Echo's child-like innocence to Claire's jaded acceptance.

They're so different, and yet they work together so well in a twisted but sweet kind of way. The scene between the two of them was one of my favorite's out of the whole episode.

I hope you continue to write as the show progresses.

That'll definitely happen. I'm hooked :D

[fembuck.livejournal.com]

I was praying for someone to write this. And you did!

Aw, thanks so much! I'm really glad that you enjoyed it :D

That scene was so filled with meaning and tension and you delivered that perfectly.

That scene really was the greatest gift for a femslasher. And the fact that it came in the pilot episode makes it so much more special. I love things that are 'gay from the gate', lol.

I just hope Adelle won't give her a hard time. I kinda think such a relationship would be forbidden.

Claire's not in trouble, yet.

I kinda think such a relationship would be forbidden.

Me too. Unless, Adelle felt that it was useful in some way. I kind of think if she figured out how the Echo and Claire were feeling, that she might use the information to manipulate Claire into being a good little girl and not rocking the boat.

[fembuck.livejournal.com]

I'm sorry but I can't just suspend my belief enough to think that a gay girl looking like Amy Acker wouldn't have flocks of women wooing her affections.

I know, right! lol. I found her more attractive as Claire than I have in any other role. I'd totally be on her doorstep, flowers and chocolates in hand, scars be damned!

Perhaps after the accident (or whatever it was), she withdrew so much inwards that she stopped seeing the outside world through objectivity and empirical evidence, and started seeing it through her own insecurities.

I definitely think this is the case. A lot of Claire's insecurities come from her own head. I'm sure people have approached her before Echo, but her own insecurities and fears cause her to disbelieve that their attention is genuine. She can't believe them. With Echo being so innocent though, she can't ignore the truth of the woman's statements.

The scars only make her hotter.

I agree. I don't think Claire would though, lol. The way she hide behind the door when she went to retrieve Echo after she wandered into Topher's lab really hit home for me, how much she doesn't like to be looked at.