So, I just got back from ...
Sep. 16th, 2009 05:46 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
fembuckBITCH SLAP!
And it is cracky gold ya'll. It's basically a![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
trancer21 fic, only America Olivero is playing the Michelle Rodriguez role!
This was B movie magic, bbs.
First things first, if you are a fan of the female form, this movie will titilate and delight you from the very first shot of the film to the very last shot of the film.
To say that the movie is full of T&A (mostly T though) would be an understatement of epic proportions. To say that the shots of heaving breasts, pouty lips, long legs, and asses were gratuitous would be an epic understatement. It's just there in your face, and it's awesome. Yes, it's often ridiculous, but it's awesomely so.
Secondly, this movie has one of the hottest GoGA make-out scenes I've seen. At times it was like watching fanfic on screen! And I thank the director for using a split screen for part of it, because they showed the women doing different things on the different screens and so it was like two times the fun. It was like lesbian porn tennis, my head was just going back and forth, back and forth.
Thirdly, sadly Lucy Lawless and Renee O'Connor are only in the movie for like two minutes (if that). Don't go to the bathroom, or you might miss them on screen. Renee cracked me up though. I like to imagine the way that nun was looking at Camero is the way Gabrielle looked at Xena when the camera wasn't running ;)
Fourthly, Erin Cummings is amazing as Hel. Now, granted Bitch Slap! isn't the type of movie you see for the acting. But, Erin Cummings did an amazing job. I mean, she was actually able to act in this role, and be completely badass, and funny and schmoopy and sexy. Considering what the script was like, she really no reason she should have been good. But she was. She was really good. When I saw the scene where Hel was explaining to the deputy why they were out in the middle of nowhere, I was like "Damn. Damn. Damn! She's good!" She's got a new fan in me that's for sure. In fact, she's my new top choice for Rachel Morgan if ever the Hollows was made into a show. In fact, picturing her as Rachel while reading the books might actually make me like Rachel again, lol. She was definitely the breakout performance for me.
I also enjoyed Julia Voth as Trixie, though that was mostly because she's absolutely stunning to look at. It's like if Morena Baccarin and Angelina Jolie mated, the baby would look like Julia Voth. She did get some moments to actually act, and she had some pretty funny lines as well, and she impressed me at the end of the movie. Not to mention, she was super hot in the love scene. When you see it, you'll know exactly the two moves she did that moved her to super-duper, masturbatory fantasty, Va-Va-Voom levels. She also gets some of the best shots in the movie. In particular, the scene where she's dressed like an Angel will make you cream your panties.
Honestly, Erin Cummings and Julia Voth are:
Finger-licking good!
Fifthly, I kid you not ... there was a five minute water fight! Trixie's all like, "I'm so hot, I can't take it anymore!" picks up a cooler of water and dumps it all over herself. Then the three leads proceed to have an endless water fight. It was gold.
The Girl-on-Girl fight scenes were also amazing. To quote a character from the film, "Watching two hot women fight just turns me on!" They were all like:
And I was all like, "Unf! Unf! Unf! UNF!" It was legit like jimp central up in there.
The movie looks really good as well, considering the fact that I'm guessing it was made for peanuts. I mean, all of the non-CGI, green-screen parts happen in one location. The CGI was cheesy and obvious, but it worked. It created a comic book-y sort of feel for the crazy, cracked out scenes, and the unreality of it really worked for the wackiness of the scenes.
The Camero character got to be a bit much for me about 10 minutes into the film. I think it was a combination of the character being written to be really irritating, and then America Olivero chewing scenery to pieces every time she opened her mouth. Overacting is to mild a description for what she was doing. Michael Hurst's, Gage, also became really annoying about 5 seconds after he showed up on screen. However, his character, unlike Camero, becomes somewhat less irritating as the movie goes on (if only because he's on screen less).
Just so you know, the lesbians do not magically turn straight at the end. Just an FYI for you, cause I know ya'll were worried about that. I didn't love the ending of the movie (I pretty much wish it could have ended with Hel's speech and maybe a flash-forward) but at least the lesbians stayed lesbians.
In conclusion, this movie was pure cracky goodness. I will own this when it comes out on DVD.
And it is cracky gold ya'll. It's basically a
trancer21 fic, only America Olivero is playing the Michelle Rodriguez role! This was B movie magic, bbs.
First things first, if you are a fan of the female form, this movie will titilate and delight you from the very first shot of the film to the very last shot of the film.
To say that the movie is full of T&A (mostly T though) would be an understatement of epic proportions. To say that the shots of heaving breasts, pouty lips, long legs, and asses were gratuitous would be an epic understatement. It's just there in your face, and it's awesome. Yes, it's often ridiculous, but it's awesomely so.
Secondly, this movie has one of the hottest GoGA make-out scenes I've seen. At times it was like watching fanfic on screen! And I thank the director for using a split screen for part of it, because they showed the women doing different things on the different screens and so it was like two times the fun. It was like lesbian porn tennis, my head was just going back and forth, back and forth.
Thirdly, sadly Lucy Lawless and Renee O'Connor are only in the movie for like two minutes (if that). Don't go to the bathroom, or you might miss them on screen. Renee cracked me up though. I like to imagine the way that nun was looking at Camero is the way Gabrielle looked at Xena when the camera wasn't running ;)
Fourthly, Erin Cummings is amazing as Hel. Now, granted Bitch Slap! isn't the type of movie you see for the acting. But, Erin Cummings did an amazing job. I mean, she was actually able to act in this role, and be completely badass, and funny and schmoopy and sexy. Considering what the script was like, she really no reason she should have been good. But she was. She was really good. When I saw the scene where Hel was explaining to the deputy why they were out in the middle of nowhere, I was like "Damn. Damn. Damn! She's good!" She's got a new fan in me that's for sure. In fact, she's my new top choice for Rachel Morgan if ever the Hollows was made into a show. In fact, picturing her as Rachel while reading the books might actually make me like Rachel again, lol. She was definitely the breakout performance for me.
I also enjoyed Julia Voth as Trixie, though that was mostly because she's absolutely stunning to look at. It's like if Morena Baccarin and Angelina Jolie mated, the baby would look like Julia Voth. She did get some moments to actually act, and she had some pretty funny lines as well, and she impressed me at the end of the movie. Not to mention, she was super hot in the love scene. When you see it, you'll know exactly the two moves she did that moved her to super-duper, masturbatory fantasty, Va-Va-Voom levels. She also gets some of the best shots in the movie. In particular, the scene where she's dressed like an Angel will make you cream your panties.
Honestly, Erin Cummings and Julia Voth are:
Finger-licking good!
Fifthly, I kid you not ... there was a five minute water fight! Trixie's all like, "I'm so hot, I can't take it anymore!" picks up a cooler of water and dumps it all over herself. Then the three leads proceed to have an endless water fight. It was gold.
The Girl-on-Girl fight scenes were also amazing. To quote a character from the film, "Watching two hot women fight just turns me on!" They were all like:
And I was all like, "Unf! Unf! Unf! UNF!" It was legit like jimp central up in there.
The movie looks really good as well, considering the fact that I'm guessing it was made for peanuts. I mean, all of the non-CGI, green-screen parts happen in one location. The CGI was cheesy and obvious, but it worked. It created a comic book-y sort of feel for the crazy, cracked out scenes, and the unreality of it really worked for the wackiness of the scenes.
The Camero character got to be a bit much for me about 10 minutes into the film. I think it was a combination of the character being written to be really irritating, and then America Olivero chewing scenery to pieces every time she opened her mouth. Overacting is to mild a description for what she was doing. Michael Hurst's, Gage, also became really annoying about 5 seconds after he showed up on screen. However, his character, unlike Camero, becomes somewhat less irritating as the movie goes on (if only because he's on screen less).
Just so you know, the lesbians do not magically turn straight at the end. Just an FYI for you, cause I know ya'll were worried about that. I didn't love the ending of the movie (I pretty much wish it could have ended with Hel's speech and maybe a flash-forward) but at least the lesbians stayed lesbians.
In conclusion, this movie was pure cracky goodness. I will own this when it comes out on DVD.
