Best damn commentary...funniest ever!

[fembuck]

So what is this glorious, entertaining, random and utterly freaking hilarious commentary that I'm taking about? It's the Resident Evil commentary with Milla Jovovich, Michelle Rodriquez and a couple other boring people that aren't worth mentioning, lol.

I love this commentary because it's not a commentary at all, it's just four people sitting around talking shit and making random comments and talking about all the times they partied when they were filming the movie. Every once in a while they'll manage to talk about relevant film-making things, but like 60% of the commentary is just hilarious ancedotes and comments.


Rodriquez: "And that's ladies and gentlemen is Milla Jov-o-vich"
Jovovich: "Yov-o-vich, Yov-o-vich, what's wrong with you, oh my god we made a movie together! If she doesn't know my name by now I have no hope."

Jovovich: "I think if they're watching the commentary they've seen the movie already."

Michelle comments that the people stuck in the elevator are totally screwed...
Jovovich: "Oh I love to see people get screwed on screen, it's SO great."

On an elevator crop snapping and the cabin falling...
Rodriquez: "I think that if you jump when it's falling nothing will happen."
Jovovich: "Urban myth, urban myth." (laughter) "Urban myth, I tried it. This happens to me all the time."

Jovovich: "So are we just gonna do commentary on the whole movie? Is that what we're doing? We're just gonna watch the whole movie?"

People are about to die horribly in an elevator...
Rodriquez: "It sucks man, imagine if you had called in sick none of this would have happened." [Funny doofy voice] "We're all gonna die down here" (laughter)

Rodriquez: "Milla's naked here"
Jovovich: "I sure am, heh heh. You know me, I just love to do those gratitious nude scenes, in every context I can think of."

Jovovich: "Um, can I just say no one cares about that, we just saw my nipple! Who care about the grading?"

A shot where a bunch of crows are seen flying:
Paul W.S. Anderson: "Computer generated crows, ladies and gentlemen."
Rodriquez: "Those were computer generated? There are so many crows in Germany, I thought you just captured them. Oh, good for you."

Paul W.S. Anderson: "And speaking of quiet subtly ... here's Marilyn Mansion" (background music swells)
Rodriquez: "That's Eric Mabius" (Eric is on screen when Paul comments)
Paul W.S. Anderson: "No, the soundtrack."

Jeremy Bolt: "There are certain traditions in Germany, like you eat sausage and beer."
Jovovich: "You eat beer?"
Rodriquez: *giggle*

Michelle commenting that she had to watch X-men three times to get into it because of the changing made from the comics:
Rodriquez: "By the third time I was totally ..."
Jovovich: "By the third time she was like "no this sucks!""

James Purefoy shows up on screen...
Jovovich: "He partied hard with us ... he took his pants off at the party."

Jovovich: "I heard Michelle had some nice leather garments. I mean, for anyone out there that wondered if Michelle wears leather undergarments, she does! I mean, of course, what else would she wear?"

Rodriquez: "I've learned a lot about guns, I was pretty much a natural, heh."
Jovovich: "...pretty much like what Michelle says, I was a natural. I mean, I can't make a basket to save my life, but if you give me a gun I can shoot the ball."

Originally the movie had a concept where the characters would be loosely based on characters from the novel 'Alice in Wonderland' hence the Jovovich's characters name and they're discussing what Alice In Wonderland characters they should have been
Jovovich: "And you were Tweddle-Dum."
Rodriquez: "I was Tweddle-DEE. You better watch it before I shove your head into my armpit."
Jovovich: "The thing I love most about my job is getting to stick my head in Michelle's armpits. It really turns me on."

Rodriquez: "What is that?"
Paul: It's the brain of the creature.
Rodriquez: Oh, for a second there it looked like a scene out of ... "Ghost"
Everyone: "Ghost?" *laughter, mumbling about clay*
Rodriquez: No, there's this, this Japanimation
Everyone: Oh, "Ghost In the Shell"

Michelle (who remembers more about the initial concepts for the movie than the director!) explains how Paul had a character sit up high on some boxes to represent the catepiller in Alice In Wonderland...
Jovovich: "And here come like the repressed Art School dreams that never happened, they're coming out right here."

Rodriquez: "Wench."

Rodriquez: "You should have let me use my knife right here, but you don't like ... like details."

On a stunt man that can dislocate parts of body at will...
Paul: "He's a real bendy!man"
Rodriquez: "That's my favorite part. I LIKE it!"

On Michelle not wanting to pay for a DVD for a movie that she's in...
Jovovich: "Every film is like 'yes you will pay' and she's like 'no I won't, screw you guys!'"

Jovovich: "You can come over to my place and we can do makeup..."
Rodriquez: "Oh god, girly time, nooooooo."
Jovovich: "Cause Michelle doesn't like girly time, she likes manly time."
Rodriquez: "Oh that is so not true. Just for that Milla, I'm gonna wear a skirt to the premier because you were talkin' shit."
Jovovich: "I'm not talking shit, I think you're one of the hottest chicks around." *unintelligle mumbling* "I love you Michelle, I wanna fuck you ... now we'll finally be able to..." *interrupted by Jeremy Bolt talking about how he was on screen "Well, excuse me, Michelle was finally giving me the time of day, I had to take advantage of the situation..."

Michelle comments about the Licker that was seen on screen a few seconds before, while Milla is currently on the screen...
Rodriquez: The luscious licker.
Paul: Are you calling Milla a luscious licker?

Rodriquez: "I cried during Dumbo for Christsake."

And the entire bit on Eric Mabius and how he was always eating yogurt on set. "Yogurt?" LOL. OMG I love this commentary.


And I'm gonna stop quoting quotables right now, but this only like random bits from the first 40 minutes. If you have the DVD I totally recommend checking out the commentary because it is comedy gold. And if you don't have the DVD rent it and watch it anyway! Seriously, you will fall in love with the comic duo that is M & M, I want them to make another movie together just for the commentary.

Comments

[loonyluna256.livejournal.com]

O.M.G. You posting these quotes made my night, morning actually. lol Thank you! Now I must rent this and watch with commentary. Over and over again.....

[fembuck.livejournal.com]

LOL. No matter how many times I see that commentary or read quotes from it I can't stop laughing. It really is a wonder of the world, and I didn't even mention Milla's comments about how the American girl that had originally done some voice work for the Red Queen sounded like she was doing porn and her 'breathy' reenactment, or Michelle Rodriquez explaining how she told Eric Mabius that some French actress had told her that bell peppers were good for you complextion so he started eating them from breakfast everyday along with some yogurt, lol. Omg, okay, since you're gonna watch the commentary I won't say more, but you're in for fun times!