More Nordic Valkyrie goodness ... smiling on TLW, could it be?

[fembuck]

So I still haven't seen the season 4 premiere because my computer is freaking slow today and I can't seen to get a speed higher than like 10 kb/s (the horror!). And truthfully after reading some reviews I'm not sure that I want to subject myself to this show until episode 4 when Paige shows up. I mean, how exactly the show managed to make a threesome with Karina Lombard and Mia Kirshner take sexy away I can't conceive of. I mean that takes a special (and by special I mean EVIL) Uwe Boll-ianesque talent. Add to that, Emo!Shane starring in Menace to Society II, post-vomit kissing, the horror that is TiBette, shameless self-promotion, and Max and you get me ... full body shuddering.

Update: Okay, so I finally saw it and while parts were as cringe-worthy as I was anticipating, there were also some good moments.

The Good:
Marina the glory stealer was pure gold. Karina does Euro!smarm well.

"I can't even by a pair of shoes for $3500!" Oh, Helena. Pretty much everything with Helena and Alice was fun times.

"Does anybody have a sippy cup? Can I get a sippy cup? Jesus!" Oh, Bette.

The Bad:
Everything involving Shane. My god that was some emo bullshit. I couldn't have cared less if ... I don't even care enough to finish that thought actually.

Bette and Tina are a nightmare. They are painful to watch. And because I skipped the end of last season, I didn't realize what a complete bitch Tina had become not wanting to allow Bette to adopt Jeli, so even though Bette can be an abrasive asshole by sympathies are with her.

The menage. My god that horrible. Karina is sexy but tight lipped kissing is not. And Claude was just ... weird. Though her immediately asking "Do you think she'll have sex with us?" after meeting Marina WAS amusing.

However, the following pictures made my sick, sleepy, flu ravaged body smile ... before I was over taken by a a fit of hacking cough, and had to stop.



Hey, this is probably the first and last time that you'll see anyone on this show look genuinely happy! Suck it up while you can, because Shane will likely sleep with Paige's mom, do a bunch of coke and get into a car accident with Shay and Paige's son by the end of the next episode, and NOBODY will be smiling then. NOBODY! Well, maybe Chaiken.


Hey, Shane ... how you doin'? Come on in ladies, there's plenty of room. No, no, don't worry, three's not a crowd ... it's a party! Come in, come in ... liquer in the front, poker in the back. Don't be shy now. Dibs on the blonde!


Why yes, I did order handsome stranger who's mad, bad and dangerous to know. Uh, Shane ... is that a strap-on in your pocket or are you just happy to see me (*psst*, Paige, it's Shane ... it's totally a strap-on though she's probably happy to see you too ... especially if you have a pool!)


Pictures courtesty of acidburn at MediaBlv. More s4 pictures can be found there

Comments

[grdnofevrythng.livejournal.com]

Well it wasn't the best, but I don't think it that bad. I know that I now hate Tina. She's being weird. She totally accused Helena of backing away from her and she didn't even see Tina standing there. I think Tina is paranoid. The whole abortion thing upset me. I think it was just the way it was handled. The threesome thing made me wary of Jenny's girlfriend. Jenny not wanting to participate I think meant that she's still not over Marina (which is yay!) I don't like Sheri Jaffey or however you spell her name. I felt bad for Shane, but I saw the ending coming as soon as she got to her house and found her stepmother there. It was just a weird opener to the season. I like s2's opener a lot better.

[fembuck.livejournal.com]

I finally saw it, and it wasn't as bad as I feared, but I still didn't really like 60% of it, lol.

I know that I now hate Tina. She's being weird. She totally accused Helena of backing away from her and she didn't even see Tina standing there. I think Tina is paranoid.

Yeah, I firmly in the Tina hate camp. I didn't see the end of last season so I didn't realize she was trying to stop Bette from adopting Angelica. *sends hate rays towards Tina* And she is totally paranoid (although is spoilers can be believed the framily really will try to shut her out).

Jenny not wanting to participate I think meant that she's still not over Marina (which is yay!)

It was so nice to see Marina again. Karina Lombard totally brought sexy back, which was sorely missing. People rag on her acting but I always loved Marina, and I wish she was going to be around for more of the season.

I felt bad for Shane

lol, I didn't. I was hating on Shane soooooo much this episode. I was totally with Jenny (wow, never thought I'd say that) on the subject. All of my sympathy was with Carmen. I just thought the whole storyline with Shane this episode was so self-indulgent, especially her speech to her stepmother about her father that was really about her.

Overall, I think I'll be looking forward to Helena, Alice, Papi, Bette (when she's not around Tina, or dealing with any Tina related issues), and Paige of course ;)

[kennedyismyhero.livejournal.com]

I'm not sure that I want to subject myself to this show until episode 4 when Paige shows up.

Yay! I didn't know that.

...how exactly the show managed to make a threesome with Karina Lombard and Mia Kirshner take sexy away.

Oh, no. Toothy McGee ate most of the little that could be considered "threesome".

...people running away from Tina and her heterosexual cooties

You seem to imply that people shouldn't run away from Tina and her hetero-cooties. I am all for this! Tina's mostly a shouting monster anyway, and I feel deeply when Helena has to play nice and kiss her on the cheek.

[fembuck.livejournal.com]

Oh, no. Toothy McGee ate most of the little that could be considered "threesome".

LOL, Toothy McGee! Elodie was never really a looker on Alias (esp. next to Rachel Nichols, Jennifer Garner, and Gina Torres), but she looked especially freaky this episode. Claude just creeps me out I think, from the moment she showed up, I was like reaching for disinfectant and squeezing my eyes shut.

You seem to imply that people shouldn't run away from Tina and her hetero-cooties. I am all for this! Tina's mostly a shouting monster anyway, and I feel deeply when Helena has to play nice and kiss her on the cheek.

See, I think I had forgotten how utterly horrible Tina was, but now that I've seen the episode I'm right there with you. I mean, I didn't agree with everything Bette said and did, but Tina needs a foot up her ass something fierce. Hate.

Rachel Shelley sold that reluctant cheek kissing well. She looked like she was about to face a firing squad. It's alright Helena, you can borrow some of that disinfectant I bought after seeing Claude.

[kennedyismyhero.livejournal.com]

...she looked especially freaky this episode. Claude just creeps me out I think, from the moment she showed up, I was like reaching for disinfectant and squeezing my eyes shut.

From the moment that she showed up in the season finale, all I could think was, "It's FrenchJenny! With more teeth! And slightly crazier!" But hey, if she keeps Jenny occupied, all I have to do is make sure I'm able to fast-forward through her creeptastic sex scenes.

I mean, I didn't agree with everything Bette said and did, but Tina needs a foot up her ass something fierce.

Tina is loony tunes. She's marginally better in the second episode. Most of the time Bette seems the saner one of the bunch, at least where the baby matters are concerned, but when she was slamming the chair, yelling ARSON!...I'll admit, I giggled at the crazy.

It's alright Helena, you can borrow some of that disinfectant I bought after seeing Claude.

Helena/Rachel Shelley is love.

[narcolepsy-slds.livejournal.com]

well, it could have been worse, and last season you could not say that about many episodes.

I adore Alice and Helena, and Bette with her sippy cup and "arson, arson" was hilarious. I have never cared for Bette, but last episode, she was funny.

And it was a commercial for apple, the powerbook and "are you still using ical? then I will do it on ical". which is actually a good thing ;)

[fembuck.livejournal.com]

well, it could have been worse, and last season you could not say that about many episodes.

Bwah! So true.

I adore Alice and Helena, and Bette with her sippy cup and "arson, arson" was hilarious. I have never cared for Bette, but last episode, she was funny.

Totally agree. Alice and Helena were the highlight of the episode for me (as they usually are), and Bette had some funny moments. JB has great delivery and does well with snarky little asides, I wish they'd let Bette's sense of humor shine through more, instead of her being a power!alpha humorless bitch.

And it was a commercial for apple, the powerbook and "are you still using ical? then I will do it on ical"

Most obvious product placement ever. I kinda like that it was like they weren't even trying. It's like "yeah, we're shilling powerbooks and our new website, deal with it".

[ralst.livejournal.com]

I seem to be in the minority but I cannot stand Marina. She is just so smarmy and rather creepy - kind of like one of those supposed charmers who turn out to be a serial killer - and putting her together in a scene with Claude is like being shot with both barrels. I hope she doesn't stay long.

I agree about Alice and Helena, they are the best thing in this show and need lots more screen time together. I also loved Bette's 'arson' rant, she should be allowed more such moments, instead of the usual crap they have her drown in.

As for Tina, although she gets on my nerves and has become a screaming shrew, I can understand her 'no adoption' backtracking. Afterall it did come directly after Bette's lawyer sent her a letter telling her Bette was going for sole custody (basically taking her child away) and then before she'd had a chance to calm down and be brow beaten by her friends, Bette runs off with the baby. So I can understand her being pissed and threatening all sorts. It's what happens next that'll be telling... although the way she treated Helena is a bad sign.

Oh and what was that anti-semetic thing about? I didn't get it.

I'm looking forward to Paige but it's a pity her storyline will revolve around Shane.

[fembuck.livejournal.com]

She is just so smarmy and rather creepy - kind of like one of those supposed charmers who turn out to be a serial killer - and putting her together in a scene with Claude is like being shot with both barrels.

LOL. I just think Karina Lombard is teh sex, though I will agree that Marina can be more than a little creepy at times. If I had to choose between Karina as Marina or Karina as say Alana on "The 4400" I'd pick sane, kind, non-smarmy Alana any day, but if Marina is all they're offering I'll still take her. Don't worry, though I don't think she's going to be around for long.

Claude on the other hand, I would run far, far, away from.

I agree about Alice and Helena, they are the best thing in this show and need lots more screen time together.

So true. If this was the Alice and Helena show, about good friends and wacky hijinks and girl-kissing I would be there with bells on every week. Unfortunately that is not the case.

I also loved Bette's 'arson' rant, she should be allowed more such moments, instead of the usual crap they have her drown in.

I know! I loved her little moments of funny this ep. JB is too hot to be crying and yelling all the time. Give her some freaking light moments!

As for Tina, although she gets on my nerves and has become a screaming shrew, I can understand her 'no adoption' backtracking. Afterall it did come directly after Bette's lawyer sent her a letter telling her Bette was going for sole custody...

See, I missed all of this because I didn't watch the end of last season. I didn't realized Bette threw the first handful of shit into the fan. Honestly, they're both just soooo immature and unlikeable. I just lend to side with Bette because I'm shallow and I think JB is hot. The whole storyline, and the way the characters interact with other is just horrendus.

Oh and what was that anti-semetic thing about? I didn't get it.

No idea. The only thing I can think of is that in Hollywood "Irishman" is some sort of code word for being Jewish or something. Or that Henry is Jewish which Helena didn't know, so he just assumed that it was anti-semetic. It was just a really weird line, the whole scene was just cringe-worthy.

I'm looking forward to Paige but it's a pity her storyline will revolve around Shane.

Yeah, I know! I'm looking forward to Paige, but I can't stand Shane right now and am bitter than I'll have to watch her bony, emo ass to enjoy the Loken. I really wish they'd hooked Paige up with Alice or Helena. That would have been hot times in the city.

[murasaki1200.livejournal.com]

Pics, yay! They are making me look forward to seeing Loken in something contemporary. Jeans and T-shirt, that'll be a nice change.
I'm afraid if I start watching now, I'll get so bored and put off by the show by ep 4 that it will spoil my excitement, so I think I'd best hold off.

[fembuck.livejournal.com]

They are making me look forward to seeing Loken in something contemporary. Jeans and T-shirt, that'll be a nice change.

So true, other than T3 and an episode of Boy Meets World, I've never seen her in anything contemporary. And T3 doesn't really count because she was in that leather jumpsuit for like the whole movie (except when she was naked or dressed as a flight attendant). Kris rocks jeans, so I'm looking forward to the laid back, comtemporary look.

I'm afraid if I start watching now, I'll get so bored and put off by the show by ep 4 that it will spoil my excitement, so I think I'd best hold off.

lol, I'll tell you you're not missing anything (except pain, and an occassional chuckle ... which is usually followed by cringing). You don't want to do anything to avoid enjoying Loken time, so I support your ban of TLW until ep. 4!