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fembuckBloodRayne II: Deliverence
Starring: Natassia Malthe, Chris Coppola, Zack Ward and Michael Pare.
Summary: Rayne (Malthe), a half-human/half-vampire warrior, is humankind's only hope against the advancing vampire race.
On set Promo - View at own risk!
The good news is, Kristanna Loken is not starring in this.
That's it.
I would list all of the things that are horribly wrong with this project, but I don't have enough space for that and I think they are fairly self-evident, lol.
All I can say is that with the pretty, but utterly charismaless Malthe in the role of Rayne, the movie won't even be fucking horrible enough to make fun of like the first. I mean, Malthe managed to be boring as all hell in "D.O.A: Dead or Alive" one of the funniest, cheesiest movies to come out in the last couple of years. Basically a cross between "Charlie's Angel's", "Mortal Combat" and "Beach Blanket Bingo" starring Jamie Pressly, Sarah Carter, that Nika chick from Prison Break and Eric Roberts, it was non-stop ass-kicking females, scantily clad females, over the top action sequences (one of the chicks actually starts a fight topless, throws her bra up into the air, beats people up with her towel, lifts her arms and her bra falls magically in place allowing her to then hold the last guy up at gun point! Brilliant!), illogical beach volley ball games, lesbian innuendo and sword fights. In other words, utterly brilliant ... except for every scene with Malthe. Good lord, she sucks.
With Malthe in the lead BR II will just suck outright, and because there also seems to be no other major female castmembers, slashing the characters as the movie is on won't even be able to save us.
In conclusion, Uwe Boll continues to be an evil genius, Natassia Malthe sucks, and everyone should watch "D.O.A." because it is the bomb diggity.
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Date: 2007-01-19 07:29 am (UTC)1. Chris Coppola is *painfully* unfunny.
2. For a movie that's supposed to be about BloodRayne, they sure weren't particularly interested in interviewing the lead actress. But that's probably because Malthe has the charisma of week old bread.
3. Some actors should always have extreme close-ups - Zach Ward is not one of those people.
4. Uwe Boll *is* an evil genius and I'd totally work on one of his movies.
5. I just discovered DOA is on bittorrent, and I'm downloading as I type.
6. As much as this movie is gonna suck, I'm still probably going to see it.
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Date: 2007-01-20 11:30 pm (UTC)*groan* I know. Every time they panned back to him I full body shuddered. I mean when you make someone hope that they would go back to interviewing Zack Ward or Oatmeal (um, Malthe) it bad, bad medicine.
2. For a movie that's supposed to be about BloodRayne, they sure weren't particularly interested in interviewing the lead actress. But that's probably because Malthe has the charisma of week old bread.
LOL. So true. I was falling asleep whenever she started talking. If she's not playing Typhoid Mary and kissing Jennifer Garner then I don't care.
3. Some actors should always have extreme close-ups - Zach Ward is not one of those people.
LOL.
4. Uwe Boll *is* an evil genius and I'd totally work on one of his movies.
I'd love to see a trainwreck in the making up and close. Plus, I bet a lot of people do a lot of drinking on set with him, and it would be awesome to hang out with the actors, doing shots talking about how shitty the movie is (well, not this one but the first BloodRayne would have been fun)
5. I just discovered DOA is on bittorrent, and I'm downloading as I type.
Lemme know what you think!
6. As much as this movie is gonna suck, I'm still probably going to see it.
Since this is likely going straight to DVD, or will likely be on DVD within a month of its theatrical release there's a good chance that while drunk one night looking for a shitty movie to make fun of with friends that I will see it.