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[personal profile] fembuck
So, I just got back from Twilight, and I've gotta say ... it was nowhere near as terrible as I thought it would be.  Dare I say it, based on the source material (which is gawd awful) this was probably the best movie they could have made.

To begin with, let me preface this by saying that I was both drunk and high when I went into this movie and was therefore in a very forgiving mood for the entire thing.  That being said, let's movie on...

First I gotta say, with the exception of the running scenes, the movie was filmed beautifully.  Catherine Hardwick might be a strange elvish looking creeper, but she's a pretty good director.  There were some shots and scenes that were absolutely stunning to look at.  Pretty much every scene with the Nomads was pretty badass (especially the one at the docks), and the baseball scene with the Cullens was awesome.  I really enjoyed it.  Alice's pitching motion was classic.  I loved the leg.  You could totally tell that Ashley Greene had like never thrown a ball in her life before this, but the leg was pure Alice.

Loved the first shots of the Cullens.  Emmett dazzled.  Rose ... well, the less said the better.  And Alice was super adorable (as she should be).  Also, FUCK YOU JESSICA!  Alice is not weird, she's magical and enchanting and your pea brain is too limited to comprehend her amazingness!!!

KStew was alright as Bella.  She was far better than I thought she would be from the trailer's but she wasn't a revelation or anything.  There were a couple of shining moments, but for the most part she was just competent (and occasionally very, very pretty).

RPattz was good as Edward.  Stephenie Meyer is on crack with her Oscar nomination predictions, but RPattz was really good.  I still don't like Edward at all, but I was interested/fascinated by him in the movie.  Pattinson really played him as being a creepy, maladjusted, and just a general self-hating creeper.  Which is basically how I picture Edward.  I loved that he literally looked like he was in serious physical pain almost every time he was on screen.  It was a really good performance.  RPattz is dreamy (again, Edward's a weird creeper, but RPattz is dreamy)

Bella/Edward remain brutal.  Edward is a complete dick to her for most of the beginning of the movie and then suddenly they are in love.  It makes no sense ... just like it made no sense in the books.  I mean RPattz is goodlooking, but Edward is so fucking creepy and RUDE, and Bella's like just head over heels.  I have no idea what those two could possibly talk about while they are alone (I don't think the screen writer did either because they had like no dialogue when they weren't being melodramatic.)  Like can you picture the two of them talking about the latest episode of ANTM or something?  UGH, Edward/Bella is so ridiculous and infuriating.

ALICE ... wasn't on screen enough.  There needed to be FAR MOAR Alice.  There wasn't enough screen time with Bella for my liking either, but then again Alice didn't really have that much to do in the first book.  Plus, I have to say that I think Ashley Greene milked just about every bit of ghey out of the role as she could have.  Before she even spoke she was constantly watching Bella, and she even got a "I'll protect Bella" in there before she wrapped her arm possesively around Bella and walked her to the car.  

I also loved that Alice was the first of the Cullen's to run to Bella in the Ballet Studio.  The way she rubbed her fingers through Bella's blood and then like smelled them slowly before gazing at Bella completely intoxicated and longing was AWESOME.  Nice acting moment from Ashley (and once again bringing the gay)  There was a part where she was like leaning over Bella, just like ravenous for her and my Bellice Shipper heart was so happy.

Also, Alice leaping onto James and like ripping his head off was GREAT.  So fucking fierce.

I also loved Emmett.  He was perfect, and Kellan was awesome.  But again, there wasn't enough Emmett.  One of the funniest exchanges:
Rose:  Are we even sure she's Italian?
Emmett:  Her name IS Bella.
lol, oh Emmett.

Carlisle had one of the best intros ever.  What a sauve motherfucker.  He totally did look like an old timey movie star.

Jasper looked constipated like the enter time he was on screen (except for the baseball scene where he was sex on a stick.  In the baseball scene when he flipped the the bat around like a fucking pimp, I was like, "aiight, okay, I can see why Alice is fucking you."  It was hot.)  But mostly ... mostly he looked constipated.

Esme had like three lines.  It's ridiculous.  Esbeth had like nothing to do, and her baseball hat looked funny.  The soccer!mom arm was pretty sweet though.

THE NOMADS!  They were love.  Especially Victoria.  Victoria rocked my pants.  *reaches up, catches baseball*  "I'm the one with the wicked curveball" UNF!  UNF!  UNF!

She was FIERCE as HALE!  Her last scene FTW.  It was great.  I can't wait to see more of Rachelle in New Moon (I hope they beef up Victoria's part in that, because Rachelle is wicked).  Cam was like and cocky and creepy as James.  James playing with Bella in the ballet studio was wicked, and I couldn't help but wish that we had seen more vampires being scary and awesome because that scene rocked.

Edward sparkling was painful.  I mean, I knew it would be bad, but seeing it was just ... *is without words*

Nikki Reed was utterly and completely miscast as Rosalie.  Utterly and completely.  She was just not Rose at all.  I mean, she was bitchy and everything, but my brain just wouldn't accept her as Rose.

My dream Rose
Another good choice for Rose
Would have been the most perfect Rose ever (five years ago)
Is Unfortunately a Model and therefore couldn't be cast, but visually is an awesome Rose

The music was great.  I really liked the music.

And the end sequence was great (the one that played as the credits rolled).  In fact that was one of my favorite parts.

In conclusion ... it was alright.  By no means the best movie ever, but for someone with a passing interest in the books/characters it was good enough (if you have no attachment to any of the characters then the movie will probably bore you to tears.  To tears.). 

The middle part where it's just like endless Edward/Bella scenes is brutal (just like in the book).  My friend fell asleep during that part, and I was like composing the next chapters of The Edge in my mind, because it was so mindnumbingly tedious) The baseball game and then the Nomads showing up was the only thing that jump started by brain again.  But ... yeah, I can't really see how they would have made the movie any better without completely changing it from the book (which I actually would have been in favor of, because I feel like without SMeyer's horrible writing and plotting there would have been a good story in this premise).

P.S.  Moar Alice, Emmett and Victoria.

Date: 2008-11-23 05:57 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] http://users.livejournal.com/_slutknot_/
Heh, I think I'm gonna wait until I'm back in Texas, so I can see it with all my ass-hole friends.
They make every situation funnier and tolerable.
:)

Date: 2008-11-23 07:43 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] fembuck.livejournal.com
Seeing it with friends is key. You need to be able to mock it with people. That's the only way you'll make it through.

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