Fic: All we Need (Rachel/Ivy, The Hollows 4/5)

[fembuck]

Title: All We Need
Author: Janine
Fandom: The Hollows
Pairing: Rachel/Ivy
Rating: R
Disclaimer: I don’t own them.
Summary: Ivy's acting distant, and Rachel is determined to find out why.

Part One
Part Two
Part Three

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PART FOUR

THREE WEEKS LATER

Rachel lowered herself onto the couch, her legs straddling Ivy’s as the backs of her fingers moved to stroke Ivy’s cheek softly. The living-vampire was refusing to look at her, just as she had been refusing to look at her all day, and Rachel was beginning to get worried.

Rachel couldn’t scent emotions in the air like Ivy could, but she didn’t need to be able to do that to see how upset Ivy was and had been all day. In the morning she had characterized her lover’s behavior as sulkiness and had assumed that Ivy’s mood would lift as the day went on. That’s how it had gone the other times, but Ivy’s dark mood had persisted for the entire day and now well into the night, and Rachel was concerned.

The redhead leaned forward slowly until her lips were pressed against Ivy’s, and for a second her heart swelled with relief at being allowed the contact. However, before she could even think about deepening the caress, let alone actually do it, Ivy’s hand lifted to cover her wrist, and the living-vampire drew Rachel’s fingers from her face and pulled her lips away from Rachel’s.

“Don’t,” Ivy murmured.

She was speaking softly, but there was a roughness to her voice that altered Rachel to the fact that Ivy was trying very hard to control some emotion she was afraid would overwhelm her.

“I can’t,” Ivy continued, the sound of pain and loathing in her voice making Rachel’s heart seize.

Rachel allowed Ivy to remove her hand, and didn’t try to kiss her again, but she stayed where she was on Ivy’s lap, wanting to maintain some contact with the other woman.

It had been getting harder for Ivy to resist biting her. The first week, things had seemed fine to Rachel, though she realized now that Ivy had been struggling more than she had thought right from the beginning. But the second week, Ivy had had to stop a few times when they were making love. That second week Ivy had just pulled back slightly and closed her eyes, her chest falling still as she stopped breathing and tried to focus herself. She’d managed to stay in the bed though, and the time out usually only last for thirty seconds or so, and usually no more than a minute.

However, despite Ivy’s efforts, it wasn’t getting any easier for her to hold herself back. Practicing, while extremely pleasurable, was not acclimating Ivy to not biting her, it was making it harder for her not to. Over the last week, they had only made love once where Ivy didn’t have to stop, and the last three times, the living-vampire had actually had to leave the room.

“I’m sorry,” Ivy breathed out drawing Rachel’s attention to her and away from her own thoughts. Ivy’s jaw was clenched, and her eyes were closed, and Rachel wanted to comfort her, she wanted to hug her, to kiss her face and make Ivy’s pain go away, but she knew that increasing the contact between them would only agitate Ivy.

“No,” Rachel whispered, her voice wavering slightly as she spoke. “I’m sorry,” she breathed out, blinking rapidly for a few seconds before squeezing her eyes shut to stop the tears that she could feel welling in her eyes from falling.

Rachel didn’t know whether it was her words, the tremble in her voice, the sudden smell of salt in the air as her eyes became increasingly wet, or the combination of all three, but after she spoke, Ivy turned her head to face her and for the first time all day, Rachel got a good look at the living-vampires exquisite face.

Ivy’s pupils were dilated, but there was plenty of brown around them as they widened as she peered up at Rachel. Ivy’s lips parted, but no sound came out, and then, as suddenly as Ivy had looked at her, the living-vampire’s eyes moved away from her again and focused on some other part of the room. Ivy’s facial muscles then twitched and relaxed, and her gaze became unreadable.

“I understand,” Ivy said through lips that barely moved.

Rachel’s brows creased as she gazed at Ivy, confused by her lover’s behavior. She was apologizing, she was trying to make things better, but Ivy was shutting down.

“I didn’t realize how difficult it would be,” Rachel said softly, tentatively, thinking that maybe Ivy needed an actual explanation instead of simply, ‘I’m sorry’.

The truth was that if she had really thought about it, she probably would have realized that practicing would only have made things worse. Over the past few weeks, their scents had mingled more than ever before. Ivy’s bedroom had been the one place the living-vampire had been able to escape Rachel’s lingering scent before, but now Rachel was everywhere it there as well. Her smell was on Ivy’s sheets, her pillows, against the back of the door, in her bathtub, Rachel scent even lingered in her closet and on her clothes from that one time they had accidentally stumbled into it before Ivy had just picked her up and carried her to the bed, not to mention the fact that she was routinely touching Ivy which naturally transferred more of her scent into the fabrics than it had before.

The first time David had come over after they’d become lovers, he’d taken one step into the church before rearing back, blinking and then smiling broadly as he offered his congratulations.

The fact that Ivy had even warned her that she might have had to leave should have been a sign to Rachel that it wouldn’t be that easy as well, but she had wanted it to be that easy so very much. She would have wondered why Ivy didn’t try to convince her more that first night, or why she didn’t bring up how difficult it was getting for her, but Rachel knew why she didn’t.

Ivy wasn’t a woman to admit defeat, but more than that, despite all of the terrible things that Ivy had seen, and the terrible things that had been done to her, she was an optimist.

Ivy believed in the healing power of love, it was why she had given her wish to Mia. Ivy believed that Rachel could change the world, because when Rachel managed to save her soul – and she would, god help anyone who got in her way – it would change things for vampires everywhere, not just the one in her arms. Ivy believed that she could rewire her very DNA in order to become the person she wanted to be. Ivy believed in many seemingly impossible things, and Rachel loved that about her. If Ivy hadn’t believed in her so much, she wouldn’t have been sitting there in the living-vampires lap. In fact, she probably wouldn’t even have been alive. And so, it didn’t surprise Rachel that Ivy believed that she could will her hunger away, just because she had asked her to.

What did surprise and shame Rachel, was that she had made the same mistake that she had made in Mackinaw. She had made the same mistake she had sworn she would never make again. She had asked Ivy to control her instincts, to control and restrain her feelings. She had tried to make Ivy contain a fundamental part of herself again, and it wasn’t working just like it hadn’t worked then.

“I should have realized,” Rachel continued, carefully reaching out for Ivy, needing to touch her. “I shouldn’t have …” Rachel sighed, trailing off as she mentally kicked herself for rushing into things as usual.

She shouldn’t have pushed Ivy that first night. She should have let her go so that they could’ve both calmed down, and then have talked about things rationally. But with Ivy that close to her, all she had wanted to do was get her closer. It had felt so urgent at the time, and she had been afraid that if they had parted then that somehow she would get scared again or Ivy would realize that Rachel was more trouble than she was worth, and so Rachel had pushed any concerns down and taken action.

“I’m so sorry,” Rachel said again, as her slim fingers traced Ivy’s clenched jaw lightly.

Ivy’s face remained blank, and though Rachel was trying to turn her head so that they could see each other, Ivy resolutely kept her head turned from her.

“It’s not your fault,” Ivy said tersely a few moments later. And then her hands were on Rachel’s hips, and Ivy picked Rachel up, stood, and then placed the witch back down on the couch.

Rachel blinked, surprised by the action, but gazed up at Ivy with curiosity instead of concern. Ivy had handled her like that before, and it usually led to Ivy then stripping and then pouncing on her, so Rachel watched the living-vampire with anticipation.

“Ivy!” Rachel called out a few seconds later.

Ivy hadn’t started stripping. She had turned her back on Rachel and started moving towards the door of the living room with vampire quickness. Rachel had spoken as soon as she registered the movement, but by the time Ivy’s name was out of her lips the other woman was halfway through the door.

“Ivy!” she called again when the vampire didn’t stop.

Rachel blinked, a stab of worry pulsing through her when Ivy continued out the door. Ivy always stopped. She might not have always stayed in the church when things got tense between them in the past, but she always stopped and at least talked before fleeing.

“Dammit!” Rachel exclaimed, feeling her anxiety climb. Not only had Ivy not stopped, but her eyes had been brown when she’d left. Rachel had been looking right into them a few seconds before Ivy had taken off, which meant that it wasn’t her instincts that had sent her running. Rachel hadn’t triggered anything, and having her instincts triggered was the only reason Ivy had ever run from her.

Rachel jumped up and immediately turned and headed out of the living room as well. She didn’t know what was going on in Ivy’s head, but she was certain that whatever it was wasn’t good. She didn’t care if she had to fight Ivy tooth and nail, she didn’t care if she had to physically jump on her back and try to wrestle her to the ground, she didn’t care what she had to do, but they were going to talk.

Rachel headed straight towards the hallway where their bedrooms lay. She hadn’t heard the church door open or close, so she figured that Ivy must have stalked off to her room.

When Rachel reached the door of Ivy’s bedroom it was open, so she started to walk inside. However, she stopped abruptly when she saw what Ivy was doing. Rachel was still for a moment as a wave of panic and fear momentarily overwhelmed her, and then waves of anger started to combat the fear and overrode it.

Rachel stalked towards Ivy and immediately started yanking the clothes Ivy had been shoving into a large overnight bag out of her hands and tossing them onto the floor.

“What the hell are you doing?” Rachel demanded, throwing another item of Ivy’s clothing onto the floor.

Ivy stared at the rumpled top lying in a heap at her feet, and took a calming breath before she looked up and over at Rachel.

“I need to think,” the living-vampire replied in a carefully modulated tone as she tried to pack another shirt only to have it ripped out of her hand as well.

“Think?” Rachel asked incredulously. Think about what? What did thinking have to do with anything, and why was Ivy packing to do it?

“Yes, think,” Ivy replied, a bit of an edge coming into her voice. “Some of us like to do that every now and then.”

Rachel froze, Ivy’s words hitting her across the face like a hand.

“I said I was sorry,” Rachel breathed out blinking, trying to fight back the tears that were suddenly welling in her eyes. “I made a mistake,” the redhead continued, watching as Ivy’s body tensed and her hands gripped the edges of her bag. “I can’t change the past. But I’m trying to make things better.”

Ivy remained silent as she hunched over her overnight bag. Her head was tipped down, and her now shoulder length raven hair was curtaining the side of her face, obscuring her features from Rachel. Her back moved up and down slowly as she breathed in and out, and then Ivy straightened up and started to pack again.

“Jesus Christ, Ivy. You know I’m an idiot,” Rachel said, desperation starting to creep in again. “Stop, please,” she continued, yanking clothes out of Ivy’s hands again. “I’m sorry. Don’t … don’t do this,” she said hitting Ivy’s bag and knocking it over it in an attempt to get her to stop packing. “Stay,” she continued pressing closer to her lover. “We’ll make up,” she said softly, before hesitantly placing a kiss on Ivy’s cheek.

“Make up?” Ivy questioned, the complete and utter bewilderment in her tone making Rachel pull back from her suggestive nuzzling to look at her lover. “But I thought …” Ivy paused. She was blinking rapidly and her nostrils were flared slightly, scenting. “You smelled guilty,” Ivy breathed out, her eyebrows creasing as she breathed in again. “You smelled ashamed.”

“Ivy,” Rachel said softly, reaching out for the living-vampire, reasonably certain that Ivy wouldn’t try to pull away from her. “Thought what?” she asked gently, stroking Ivy’s arms softly. “I … I don’t understand what’s happening here.”

“You’re not breaking up with me?” Ivy asked, sounding so young and vulnerable at that moment that those tears that had been welling in Rachel’s eyes almost fell.

“Breaking up with …” Rachel started incredulously. “No. God no! Why? Of course not. Jesus, Ivy,” Rachel said whacking the living-vampire on the arm. “I want you to bite me, not leave. That’s why I said I’m sorry. This is just Mackinaw all over again. I shouldn’t have asked you not to bite me, or at the very least I should have waited to … you know,” Rachel said, waving between them, “until I was more comfortable with the idea of being bitten.”

“That was the mistake you made?” Ivy asked.

“Yes,” Rachel said looking over at Ivy, her eyes widening a second later when she realized what Ivy had been thinking. “You thought I meant being with you. You thought I was regretting it.”

Ivy looked away from Rachel, but nodded her head to acknowledge that Rachel was right. “I had to leave you.” The words were nothing but a pained whisper as Ivy stared at the back wall of her room. She’d thought that Rachel was getting fed up with her, and she couldn’t blame her witchy lover for it. It was no prize having a lover that couldn’t make love to you. “I left you,” Ivy continued, her voice barely audible. “Why would you want to be with someone who can’t even …?”

Ivy’s eyes squeezed shut and she angled her head even farther away from Rachel’s, shame and self-loathing blanketing her.

“Ivy,” Rachel breathed out, her eyes blinking wetly as she quickly crossed the distance between them and took Ivy’s hands in her own. “I love you,” Rachel told her, “I loved you before we ever made love, and I’d still love you if we could never touch again,” she continued, lifting her hand to Ivy’s face, stroking her cheek gently. “You could have to stop a thousand times, and it would never make me break up with you. But,” she added, smiling a little self-consciously at Ivy before continuing, “I don’t think it’ll have to come to that.”

“Rachel,” Ivy said, shaking her head minutely from side to side as her eyes closed again. “I can’t promise anymore. I can’t … I can’t,” she continued trailing off as a thin trail of moisture worked its way down her cheek.

“I know,” Rachel admitted, stroking her thumb across Ivy’s cheek in an attempt to wash away her tear. “I don’t want you to,” she continued, pressing up on her toes slightly so that she could dust her lips across Ivy’s in an attempt to sooth her lover’s distress. “That’s what I was trying to say earlier. It was never that I didn’t want you to bite me. I did. You know I did,” Rachel breathed out softly, the familiar excitement that she always felt when she thought about Ivy’s fangs slipping inside of her coursing through her. Ivy’s eyelashes fluttered in response, and Rachel could see the living-vampires pupils begin to expand. “I was just scared,” Rachel continued, trying to get back on track. She needed to get this out before they allowed themselves to get distracted ‘making up’. “I let that fear rule me, and I made things so difficult for us both.” Rachel closed her eyes, in shame, her deep regret written all over her face and in the soft exhalation of air she released. Opening her eyes again, the witch reached out for Ivy and took the living-vampires hand in her own, stroking Ivy’s skin to acknowledge that she knew she had made things much more difficult for Ivy than it had been for herself. “I won’t lie. I’m still scared of losing myself in you.”

“I would never do anything you didn’t wa…” Ivy cut it, her voice cracking as she squeezed Rachel’s hand in her own, holding it firmly.

“I know,” Rachel whispered, blinking back tears as she squeezed Ivy’s hand as well. “I know that,” she repeated tilting her head up to kiss Ivy softly again. “I trust you more than anyone in the world,” Rachel murmured against Ivy’s lips, still kissing her as she spoke. “I’m sorry.” Rachel’s arms sneaked around Ivy’s waist, and she dropped her head onto her lover’s shoulder, burying her face in her neck as her arms tightened around Ivy’s waist. “I know it’s unfounded. I’ve always known that. I just couldn’t stop feeling it.”

“I understand,” Ivy said softly, moving her hand up and down Rachel’s back soothingly as she spoke. “It’s okay,” she continued, dropping her head down so that she could press a kiss to the top of Rachel’s head.

Rachel wanted to say more, but she held herself back for a moment and concentrated on Ivy’s scent all around her, and the gentle rise and fall of the living-vampire’s heartbeat. She focused on the warmth of Ivy’s body and the comforting and familiar feel of her arms around her.

Rachel closed her eyes and thought only of Ivy, and her heartbeat began to slow, and the tears that had been welling in her eyes stopped gathering. A wash of white warmth was slowly wrapping around her, and she knew that her aura was merging with Ivy’s.

The faint shaking in Rachel’s body stopped, and when she lifted her head from Ivy’s shoulder so that she could see the living-vampire’s cinnamon brown eyes, she felt calm for the first time all day.

“I don’t want to hurt you anymore,” Rachel exhaled, her right index finger quickly lifting to cover Ivy’s lips when the raven-haired beauty began to speak. “I’m tired of fighting myself too,” Rachel added, knowing that Ivy was going to protest letting her bite her because Rachel thought she needed it. Ivy was at the end of her rope and they both knew it, but she would do anything to avoid pressuring Rachel into something. “I want this, Ivy.” Rachel made very certain that she was looking directly into Ivy’s eyes as she said this. She wanted the lithe beauty to see the truth of her words. “I want us to have this.”

Ivy’s eyes snapped shut the moment Rachel stopped speaking, and her chest began to rise and fall rapidly as her pulse increased. Her hands trembled faintly where they rested against Rachel’s hips, and the redhead’s scar began to tingle as Ivy unconsciously began to fill the air around them pheromones.

“Are you sure?” Ivy asked.

Her eyes were still closed and her voice was low and scratchy to a degree that Rachel had never heard before.

“Yes,” Rachel replied, “completely,” she breathed out.

She then paused for a second. She knew what she was going to say next, and she knew exactly what kind of reaction it would inspire in Ivy, and she wanted to enjoy the anticipation for a moment.

“Claim me.”

Ivy breathed in sharply, and her eyes flew open. Immediately midnight black eyes locked on Rachel’s own, and the mixture of love, devotion, desperation and hunger in them almost made Rachel swoon.

“Please,” the witch breathed out.

Ivy’s lips parted and Rachel’s heart spasmed wantonly in her chest.

And then Ivy’s arms were wrapping around her, and Ivy’s lips were against hers, kissing her desperately as Ivy moved them towards the bed.

---

Rachel tangled her fingers in Ivy’s hair as the living-vampire’s nude thigh moved against her own. Ivy was laying half on top of her and half beside her, and as they kissed Ivy’s hand ran up and down Rachel’s side. Every so often, Ivy’s hand would sneak higher and cup Rachel’s breast, massaging it gently and brushing her thumb over her nipple, playing with the hard nub for a few moments before she went back to caressing her side.

Rachel enjoyed it when they took things slowly like this. She found it incredibly arousing how much Ivy enjoyed kissing her, and touching her. The joy and pleasure that her lover took from simply being pressed against her aroused her to the point that when Ivy’s hands finally began to wander south, Rachel was usually trembling and breathless with desire.

She recognized Ivy’s hesitance for what it was, however. Ivy was tense, where her body was usually loose and relaxed, and her thighs were shifting more anxiously than they usually did. Her fingers had started to trail north from Rachel’s breast towards her neck before she lowered them to her side again, and Rachel’s scar was throbbing with desire from the pheromones that Ivy was pumping out. In the past Ivy had always been very careful not to play on her scar, and stir up responses in Rachel that the witch wouldn’t let either of them indulge. But this time she knew she could bite. This time she wanted to arouse Rachel’s desire for her fangs. Ivy wanted to sink her teeth into Rachel’s tender, pale flesh and pull.

This hesitance that Rachel was feeling wasn’t Ivy teasing. The living vampire didn’t want to play. She wanted Rachel desperately, but was still holding herself back. She was still afraid that she shouldn’t bite Rachel, despite the redhead giving her permission.

“Ivy,” Rachel sighed against her lover’s lips. “It’s okay,” the witch breathed out, reaching up to cup Ivy’s face in her hand, stopping the living-vampire from leaning forward and distracting her with kisses again. “Relax. Let go.”

Ivy stared down at her with wide, coal black eyes.

“It’s okay?” Ivy asked breathily, her eyelashes fluttering rapidly, as her chest rose and fell quickly with her breaths.

“It’s okay,” Rachel confirmed, and immediately she felt Ivy’s body shudder against her.

Ivy let out a relieved breath and then shifted against the redhead head. She had been so afraid that Rachel was going to change her mind. She had been terrified that Rachel had only been telling her what she needed to hear before, that the witch had just been desperate to keep her from leaving.

Ivy moved down Rachel’s body slightly, shimmying until Rachel could feel the raven-haired beauties warm, wet breath against her neck.

Rachel moaned helplessly and shifted on the mattress. It felt so good, and it had been so long since she had felt this particular sensation.

A warm wash of breath hit the sensitive flesh of Rachel’s neck again, and she bucked up into Ivy, as trails of pleasure burned their way through her body.

Rachel’s lips lifted against, and her breath began to come out in short, harsh puffs. She lifted her hand and grasped the back of Ivy’s neck, her fingers playing in Ivy’s dark hair as she tried to push the living-vampires mouth to her skin.

Ivy wanted to tease Rachel a little, she wanted to breathe on her neck for a while, she wanted to blow on the wet skin until Rachel was constantly writhing beneath her, nearly insane with desire. But she had been waiting too long for this and she had next to no self-discipline left. She needed Rachel. There would be plenty of opportunities to play and tease and take their time later. This time however, she didn’t have the patience for biting foreplay.

Ivy allowed Rachel to lead to head down, until her lips softly brushed against the soft flesh of Rachel’s throat.

Rachel gasped and her hands clawed at Ivy’s back as she felt the Ivy’s tongue brush against the scar her lover had given her so long ago.

Ivy’s tongue played against the scar she had left on Rachel’s skin again, and Rachel’s hips shifted on the bed and her hands began to push at Ivy, trying to adjust their position. Ivy licked Rachel’s scar again, and allowed her body to sway the way Rachel wanted so that she settled in between the redhead’s parted thighs.

Ivy’s eyes fluttered closed as she felt the hot, damp press of Rachel’s center against her stomach.

Rachel wasn’t dripping, she had sprung a leak.

Ivy brushed her fangs across the raised flesh of Rachel’s scar and shifted her position until her center was pressed against Rachel’s and then she bucked against her.

Rachel’s hand moved to the back of Ivy’s head again and pushed, pressing Ivy’s face against her neck.

She needed it. She needed to be bitten now.

“Ivy,” she gasped, her hips circling, grinding around her lover. “Please,” Rachel choked out pleadingly, as a few warm frustrated tears escaped from behind her eyes.

The desperation, the need in Rachel’s voice tore through Ivy, leaving a hot trail of arousal in its wake. Ivy bucked against Rachel again, and again, and the opened her mouth.

Rachel’s fingers scratched at the raven-haired beauties scalp anxiously, and her hips pumped, moving rhythmically into Ivy’s.

Ivy’s icy fangs slid into Rachel and they both groaned in ecstasy.

Rachel’s legs wrapped around Ivy’s waist and she drove her hips up, thrusting against Ivy powerfully. She pressed her head back into the pillow underneath it and arched, her hands falling from Ivy’s body to claw at the mattress for support as her hips continued to buck.

Ivy groaned and allowed her eyes to flutter shut as she finally began to pull on Rachel. Warm, thick blood began to flow into her mouth and Ivy mewled softly, tears escaping from her eyes as she basked in the beauty of moment and their connection to each other.

Rachel whispered Ivy’s name, and Ivy pulled again, both of them sighing with pleasure as Rachel hot, crimson blood flowed into Ivy as the warm golden light of Ivy’s aura flowed out of her into Rachel.

To be continued ...

Comments

[miss-darkmoon.livejournal.com]

:D :D :D

Yay! Yet another instance of Rachel ceasing to be a dumbass! You are good at this... xD

Also... guh... You should write Ivy biting Rachel more often.... like, srsly... :P