So, I just got back from ...
Sep. 16th, 2009 05:46 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
fembuckBITCH SLAP!
And it is cracky gold ya'll. It's basically a![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
trancer21 fic, only America Olivero is playing the Michelle Rodriguez role!
This was B movie magic, bbs.
First things first, if you are a fan of the female form, this movie will titilate and delight you from the very first shot of the film to the very last shot of the film.
To say that the movie is full of T&A (mostly T though) would be an understatement of epic proportions. To say that the shots of heaving breasts, pouty lips, long legs, and asses were gratuitous would be an epic understatement. It's just there in your face, and it's awesome. Yes, it's often ridiculous, but it's awesomely so.
Secondly, this movie has one of the hottest GoGA make-out scenes I've seen. At times it was like watching fanfic on screen! And I thank the director for using a split screen for part of it, because they showed the women doing different things on the different screens and so it was like two times the fun. It was like lesbian porn tennis, my head was just going back and forth, back and forth.
Thirdly, sadly Lucy Lawless and Renee O'Connor are only in the movie for like two minutes (if that). Don't go to the bathroom, or you might miss them on screen. Renee cracked me up though. I like to imagine the way that nun was looking at Camero is the way Gabrielle looked at Xena when the camera wasn't running ;)
Fourthly, Erin Cummings is amazing as Hel. Now, granted Bitch Slap! isn't the type of movie you see for the acting. But, Erin Cummings did an amazing job. I mean, she was actually able to act in this role, and be completely badass, and funny and schmoopy and sexy. Considering what the script was like, she really no reason she should have been good. But she was. She was really good. When I saw the scene where Hel was explaining to the deputy why they were out in the middle of nowhere, I was like "Damn. Damn. Damn! She's good!" She's got a new fan in me that's for sure. In fact, she's my new top choice for Rachel Morgan if ever the Hollows was made into a show. In fact, picturing her as Rachel while reading the books might actually make me like Rachel again, lol. She was definitely the breakout performance for me.
I also enjoyed Julia Voth as Trixie, though that was mostly because she's absolutely stunning to look at. It's like if Morena Baccarin and Angelina Jolie mated, the baby would look like Julia Voth. She did get some moments to actually act, and she had some pretty funny lines as well, and she impressed me at the end of the movie. Not to mention, she was super hot in the love scene. When you see it, you'll know exactly the two moves she did that moved her to super-duper, masturbatory fantasty, Va-Va-Voom levels. She also gets some of the best shots in the movie. In particular, the scene where she's dressed like an Angel will make you cream your panties.
Honestly, Erin Cummings and Julia Voth are:
Finger-licking good!
Fifthly, I kid you not ... there was a five minute water fight! Trixie's all like, "I'm so hot, I can't take it anymore!" picks up a cooler of water and dumps it all over herself. Then the three leads proceed to have an endless water fight. It was gold.
The Girl-on-Girl fight scenes were also amazing. To quote a character from the film, "Watching two hot women fight just turns me on!" They were all like:
And I was all like, "Unf! Unf! Unf! UNF!" It was legit like jimp central up in there.
The movie looks really good as well, considering the fact that I'm guessing it was made for peanuts. I mean, all of the non-CGI, green-screen parts happen in one location. The CGI was cheesy and obvious, but it worked. It created a comic book-y sort of feel for the crazy, cracked out scenes, and the unreality of it really worked for the wackiness of the scenes.
The Camero character got to be a bit much for me about 10 minutes into the film. I think it was a combination of the character being written to be really irritating, and then America Olivero chewing scenery to pieces every time she opened her mouth. Overacting is to mild a description for what she was doing. Michael Hurst's, Gage, also became really annoying about 5 seconds after he showed up on screen. However, his character, unlike Camero, becomes somewhat less irritating as the movie goes on (if only because he's on screen less).
Just so you know, the lesbians do not magically turn straight at the end. Just an FYI for you, cause I know ya'll were worried about that. I didn't love the ending of the movie (I pretty much wish it could have ended with Hel's speech and maybe a flash-forward) but at least the lesbians stayed lesbians.
In conclusion, this movie was pure cracky goodness. I will own this when it comes out on DVD.
And it is cracky gold ya'll. It's basically a
trancer21 fic, only America Olivero is playing the Michelle Rodriguez role! This was B movie magic, bbs.
First things first, if you are a fan of the female form, this movie will titilate and delight you from the very first shot of the film to the very last shot of the film.
To say that the movie is full of T&A (mostly T though) would be an understatement of epic proportions. To say that the shots of heaving breasts, pouty lips, long legs, and asses were gratuitous would be an epic understatement. It's just there in your face, and it's awesome. Yes, it's often ridiculous, but it's awesomely so.
Secondly, this movie has one of the hottest GoGA make-out scenes I've seen. At times it was like watching fanfic on screen! And I thank the director for using a split screen for part of it, because they showed the women doing different things on the different screens and so it was like two times the fun. It was like lesbian porn tennis, my head was just going back and forth, back and forth.
Thirdly, sadly Lucy Lawless and Renee O'Connor are only in the movie for like two minutes (if that). Don't go to the bathroom, or you might miss them on screen. Renee cracked me up though. I like to imagine the way that nun was looking at Camero is the way Gabrielle looked at Xena when the camera wasn't running ;)
Fourthly, Erin Cummings is amazing as Hel. Now, granted Bitch Slap! isn't the type of movie you see for the acting. But, Erin Cummings did an amazing job. I mean, she was actually able to act in this role, and be completely badass, and funny and schmoopy and sexy. Considering what the script was like, she really no reason she should have been good. But she was. She was really good. When I saw the scene where Hel was explaining to the deputy why they were out in the middle of nowhere, I was like "Damn. Damn. Damn! She's good!" She's got a new fan in me that's for sure. In fact, she's my new top choice for Rachel Morgan if ever the Hollows was made into a show. In fact, picturing her as Rachel while reading the books might actually make me like Rachel again, lol. She was definitely the breakout performance for me.
I also enjoyed Julia Voth as Trixie, though that was mostly because she's absolutely stunning to look at. It's like if Morena Baccarin and Angelina Jolie mated, the baby would look like Julia Voth. She did get some moments to actually act, and she had some pretty funny lines as well, and she impressed me at the end of the movie. Not to mention, she was super hot in the love scene. When you see it, you'll know exactly the two moves she did that moved her to super-duper, masturbatory fantasty, Va-Va-Voom levels. She also gets some of the best shots in the movie. In particular, the scene where she's dressed like an Angel will make you cream your panties.
Honestly, Erin Cummings and Julia Voth are:
Finger-licking good!
Fifthly, I kid you not ... there was a five minute water fight! Trixie's all like, "I'm so hot, I can't take it anymore!" picks up a cooler of water and dumps it all over herself. Then the three leads proceed to have an endless water fight. It was gold.
The Girl-on-Girl fight scenes were also amazing. To quote a character from the film, "Watching two hot women fight just turns me on!" They were all like:
And I was all like, "Unf! Unf! Unf! UNF!" It was legit like jimp central up in there.
The movie looks really good as well, considering the fact that I'm guessing it was made for peanuts. I mean, all of the non-CGI, green-screen parts happen in one location. The CGI was cheesy and obvious, but it worked. It created a comic book-y sort of feel for the crazy, cracked out scenes, and the unreality of it really worked for the wackiness of the scenes.
The Camero character got to be a bit much for me about 10 minutes into the film. I think it was a combination of the character being written to be really irritating, and then America Olivero chewing scenery to pieces every time she opened her mouth. Overacting is to mild a description for what she was doing. Michael Hurst's, Gage, also became really annoying about 5 seconds after he showed up on screen. However, his character, unlike Camero, becomes somewhat less irritating as the movie goes on (if only because he's on screen less).
Just so you know, the lesbians do not magically turn straight at the end. Just an FYI for you, cause I know ya'll were worried about that. I didn't love the ending of the movie (I pretty much wish it could have ended with Hel's speech and maybe a flash-forward) but at least the lesbians stayed lesbians.
In conclusion, this movie was pure cracky goodness. I will own this when it comes out on DVD.
![[identity profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/openid.png){kind=small}
no subject
Date: 2009-09-16 10:58 pm (UTC)But my ass is in Arizona, so who knows if I'll catch it before the DVD's out.
no subject
Date: 2009-09-17 12:27 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2009-09-17 02:24 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2009-09-17 02:32 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2009-09-17 05:42 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2009-09-17 07:28 am (UTC)XD
no subject
Date: 2009-09-17 07:29 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2009-09-17 12:58 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2009-09-17 01:00 pm (UTC)Sincerely, Allaine
P.S. Woohoo, the library called and they're holding WWBC for me, yay! Mmm, Erin Cummings.
no subject
Date: 2009-09-17 01:49 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2009-09-17 05:06 pm (UTC)Unrelated: Where did you get those GIFs? :) Epic, my friend. Epic.
no subject
Date: 2009-09-17 08:03 pm (UTC)I don't think it has a distributor yet, so I don't know if anyone will be seeing it before it comes out on DVD. I honestly have a hard time seeing it get an actual theatrical release, but when it comes out on DVD I'm there!
no subject
Date: 2009-09-17 08:12 pm (UTC)The movie is cracky goodness. Honestly, if you like creative swearing, fight scenes, really hot women (who also make out with each other), swords, and boobs you'll love this movie :D
no subject
Date: 2009-09-17 08:13 pm (UTC)Bitch Slap! is a must see when it comes out on DVD though. I want to fic it so bad, but it would spoil the whole movie. *cries*
no subject
Date: 2009-09-17 08:16 pm (UTC)Also, props for pulling out a Blade shot. Christa/Chase made that show far better than it had any right to be.
That show really was better than I had any hope of it being. I'm still incredibly pissed off that it got canceled. I fucking loved that show. Krista/Chase are still one of my all time OTPs.
Bitch Slap! has added another with Hel/Trixie as well.
no subject
Date: 2009-09-17 08:18 pm (UTC)Just know that when it comes out on DVD you are in for a treat!
Also, your icon is love!
no subject
Date: 2009-09-17 08:19 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2009-09-17 08:27 pm (UTC)LOL!
I love it too. Arthur can do no wrong in my book, even when he's slapping people like a little girl.
Woohoo, the library called and they're holding WWBC for me, yay! Mmm, Erin Cummings.
Awesome! I'm gonna say enjoy, even though I feel like you're in for a bumpy ride. Picturing this amazing creature (http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_1Ssoxfl0MvQ/SJlt3tzo2nI/AAAAAAAAE0Y/OUfmTCCUOO8/s400/ErinCummings1.jpg) as Rachel will probably help though.
no subject
Date: 2009-09-17 08:29 pm (UTC)Yeah, Erin is like sexier (if that's even possible), younger Melinda Clarke.
If I wasn't already half in love with Erin, this description alone would have made me seek her out. Because a sexier Melinda Clarke is a whole lotta sexy.
no subject
Date: 2009-09-17 08:30 pm (UTC)You should. It is B movie wackiness at it's best. I legit enjoyed the movie from the first frame til the last.
Where did you get those GIFs? :) Epic, my friend. Epic.
Oh man, from all over the place. I can't even remember now. Most of them I probably got from threads at ontd and ontd_twatlight though.
no subject
Date: 2009-09-17 08:41 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2009-09-17 08:55 pm (UTC)First of all, the action is just great. And secondly, looking at Freddie Stroma is not exactly taxing either. Seriously, if I was Hermione Ron would have been choking on my dust, because I would have hit Cormac like I was getting paid!
no subject
Date: 2009-09-17 09:11 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2009-09-18 05:12 am (UTC)And screw DVD - whoever uploads a torrent of it shall have my first born. Or failing that, my puppy. Because I don't/shan't/won't have children.
no subject
Date: 2009-09-18 08:09 pm (UTC)Sincerely, Allaine
no subject
Date: 2009-12-15 06:11 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2009-12-25 07:52 pm (UTC)This is indeed B movie magic at its finest. To quote Julia, it's like what the Grindhouse movies should have been like. It was also wonderfully shot.
Erin Cummings was better than she probably should have been. Not a single moment from her where I cringed.
Julia Voth's acting ranged anywhere from bad to watchable. Fortunately it was more watchable than bad. But damn I found her so dreamy. She's like a cross between Maria Menounos and Jessica Stroup, only more hotter. If she did say a pretty bad line, all she had to do was look into the camera and have the wind blow her hair, then it was all fine again. The sex scene with Erin was awesome and I was surprised how much she topped that scene considering the character. Furthermore one of her first gigs was playing this woman (http://static.stuff.co.nz/1254658758/461/2930461.jpg) and she's Canadian. What's not to love?
Camero *sigh* was one character I could have done without. To say America overacted is indeed an understatement. By the time I was 15 min in and I saw the scene with her swinging on the rope and shooting through the skyscraper, I was like "how much more scenes like this is she going to have?" It also did not help that the character became extremely annoying as the film progressed. To say she got on my nerves is an understatement.
Oh yes lesbians remaining lesbians throughout = awesomeness. There was one scene that got me worried where I was saying to myself "no, no, stay gay, stay gay", and then the movie listened. I was all like "you were just playing around with us weren't you movie?"
Overall despite some things I could have done without, it was B movie gold.
no subject
Date: 2010-03-13 02:17 am (UTC)I had some issues with it (particularly THAT FUCKING SOUNDTRACK) and I was about ready to give the movie a big FUCK YOU near the end before the big reveal, but overall GOOD GOD THAT WAS SUCH GUILTY-PLEASURE FUN.
Though whoever decided to call it as a 'thinking man's B-Movie' on the description blurb obviously was either REALLY reaching or somehow stepped out of the theatre during the water fight. XD
But yeah, the ladies were just awesome, the script was alright, the fights were probably some of the best/most visceral I've seen this side of Tarantino, and GODDAMN I really want threesome fic XD
I'd write it myself if I wasn't absolutely certain I'd fuck it up XDAlso, Camero. Just... GOD I WANT HER TO DO HORRIBLE THINGS TO ME PLZ ♥