fembuck | Fic: Open Your Eyes (Rachel/Ivy, The Hollows 5/?)

Title: Open Your Eyes
Author: Janine
Fandom: The Hollows
Pairing: Ivy/Rachel
Rating: PG-13
Disclaimer: I don't own them.
Chapter Summary: Rachel's finding it hard to stay away from Ivy, even though she knows that it's for the best.
Previous Chapters: one, two, three, four

---

PART 5

The Next Night

I stood outside of Ivy's bedroom, paralyzed with indecision. We'd only said goodnight to each other a half hour before but I already missed her company. We'd agreed that it would be wisest to sleep separately until Ivy was officially single, and in theory it was a very sound, very mature, very sensible course of action to take, but in reality it sucked buttered elephants nuts. After all, I was her girlfriend (kinda, sorta, almost, pending her inevitable break up with Glenn) and I didn't see why I should feel guilty about wanting to be near her but I did (kinda, sorta, almost, though probably not enough to actually stay away from her) because we'd promised.

I sighed deeply and turned my head around to look at my open bedroom door just down the hall. I knew I should go back there and try to sleep, even if I had to stick my hand in my underwear for an hour to relieve enough tension to actually drift off to dreamland. But knowing that I should do something and actually doing that something were two entirely different things. Two entirely different things that I'd had a life long problem merging together.

The truth was I did not want to go back to my bed alone. I wanted to feel Ivy's body against me. I wanted the warmth of it to seep into me, lulling me into a peaceful sleep. I wanted to smell her all around me, and feel the faint pulsing of her heart beneath her chest. I also wanted her naked and sweating beneath me, I'm not going to lie about that, but we were both grown women and I figured that we should have been able to sleep in the same bed without tearing each others clothes off and ravishing each other – though that would have been nice.

To barge in, or not to barge in: that is the question, I thought sucking in another deep breath before releasing it slowly.

I thought of Ivy inside, draped in black silk, her perfect alabaster skin shining against its dark surroundings like a beacon of hope in the dead of night. I thought about the deliciously short nightgown she was surely wearing and the expanse of pale, smooth, toned thigh that it would reveal, and how heavenly it would feel to have those legs brushing against mine as I we lay wrapped up together. I remembered the absolutely adorable look she'd had on her face when she'd woken up after the nap we had taken together on the couch that afternoon after Erica had departed and I could picture clearly the way she had blinked slowly and licked her lips before deciding she didn't really want to wake and promptly flopped back down against the pillow. I remembered the way I had kissed her to wakefulness and the way she had purred when our lips finally parted and how absolutely perfect it had all felt.

I reached for the door knob and turned it.

The answer was always going to be to barge in. The idea of sleeping beside Ivy was too tempting to ignore and coupled with the idea of waking up with her in the afternoon it was entirely too tantalizing to pass up.

Her bedroom was dark, really, really, dark. Under different circumstances I might have found the completeness of the darkness to be unnerving at the least, but as the light from the hallway momentarily illuminated Ivy's prone form, I thought that it was kind of adorable.

She was such a vampire sometimes.

In typical Ivy fashion the room was neat, almost too neat, but I couldn't complain since it meant I had an obstacle free path to Ivy's bed.

Closing the door behind me and engulfing the room in darkness once more, I stooped and stuck my hand out in front of me so that I would be able to feel the mattress when I approached it, then I started off in the direction of her bed.

A few moments later my hand connected with the end of the bed and I was able to follow the edge along to the side of the bed. Once there, I carefully lifted up the thin silk sheet, and slipped onto the mattress beside Ivy.

"Hello."

My heart leaped into my chest as Ivy's voice filled the room and I pressed my hand to my rapidly beating heart. Rather dourly, I realized that she'd probably been aware of me the moment I paused outside of her bedroom door and had been laying in wait for me.

She was such a vampire sometimes.

"Hello," I grumbled, however despite my tone I proceeded to shift on the bed towards the sound of her voice until I my hand connected with her hip.

"What are you doing?" Ivy asked with a combination of amusement and trepidation that only she could get in her voice and even then only when she was talking to me.

"Spooning," I responded before I slipped my arm around her waist and tried unsuccessfully to tug her into my body.

"Rachel," she sighed, her hand moving to cover mine and stroking it lightly for a moment before she moved it from around her. "Go back to your room."

I drew my hand back into my body but made no move to draw away from her.

I didn't want to go back to my room.

"I don't want to go back to my room," I responded only sounding the tiniest bit whiney. "I want to stay with you. I want to be near you," I continued, my voice dropping intimately as I spoke. "Don't you want to be near me?"

It was a low blow, but I wasn't above guilt-tripping her if I meant I could stay in her bed.

"You know I do," Ivy said sounding a little disgruntled. "It's just not a good idea. We've talked about this," she continued though her voice had gentled a little.

I inched a little closer to her and placed my hand on her hip, though I did not try to restrict her by wrapping my arm around her this time.

"We talked about waiting to make love," I breathed out feeling her body tremble slightly as my warm breath caressed her skin. "Waiting doesn't mean that we have to be in separate beds, in separate rooms though," I continued stroking her taut stomach lightly with my fingers. "I'm not here to steal your virtue in the dead of night," I went on, relaxing when her body shook and I heard a faint chuckle fall from her lips. "I just want to sleep beside you. I promise I'll be chaste as a nun."

Ivy breathed in and out slowly, and then she shifted on the mattress until we were face to face. I could barely make out her features but I knew that she could see me clearly.

"Rachel," she sighed softly, lightly running her fingers up my bare arms in a way that made me shiver, "I want that too but … it'll be too much. If you stay here," she sighed again and I felt her body press against mine more firmly, "if you stay here," she repeated, her voice low and silky, "I won't be able to keep my hands off of you."

I wanted to tell her that I didn't want her to keep her hands off of me, but I knew what a jerk it would make me sound like. I really did understand why she wanted to wait, I just had to remind myself of it sometimes – okay, a lot of the time – when she was so close to me that I could practically taste her.

"You've never just slept in the same bed as someone you liked without ravishing them within an inch of their life?" I inquired more than a little morosely.

"You're not just 'someone I like'," Ivy responded quietly, and even in the darkness I could see her head dip down as if she couldn't bear to look at me while admitting her weaknesses. "I love you. It makes it harder to control … to manage …" she finished softly, directing the last of her words to the mattress before her voice trailed off all together.

Oh my god, did I feel like an ass; a giant, red, bulbous, shining, baboon ass.

"Hey," I said softly, slipping my hand under her chin so that I could tilt her head up. She resisted, and I wanted to punch myself in the face for making her feel badly about loving me. "It's okay," I whispered, blinking rapidly as tears welled up in my eyes. "Really," I breathed out, deciding that if she wouldn't come to me I would go to her.

I slid down on the mattress slightly until our faces were about even again and even though she was still trying to hide her face from me I leaned forward and kissed her softly, again, and again, until finally her body relaxed and she returned my kisses with some of her own.

"I'll go back to my room," I whispered when we pulled apart, "and I'm completely happy and not the least bit upset about it, at all. To think otherwise would be madness," I added, hoping to make her smile, relief washing over me a second later when a small chuckle emerged from her throat. "I love you too," I murmured cupping her cheek in my hand. "I didn't mean to upset you," I said apologetically before pressing another brief kiss to her lips.

Ivy released a short breath out through her nostrils and then angled her head back so that it was resting against the pillow again.

"I know you didn't. He'll be back tomorrow," she murmured a little distractedly, "today," she amended no doubt having glanced at the clock on the wall that my witch eyes were too dull to see. "I'll talk to him as soon as I can."

I shifted up on the bed as well and tentatively rested my head on her chest over her heart. I had told her that I would leave, but I wasn't quite ready to go yet. My body was tense for a few seconds after I lay my head down upon her breast, but soon I realized that she was going to allow the contact and relaxed against her.

"You don't have to rush," I said even though I hoped with every fiber of my being that she would. "If you want to wait until he's had a chance to settle back in, I'll understand. I don't want to pressure you."

"You're not," Ivy said bringing her hand up to my head and running her fingers lightly through my hair. "This is going to be difficult whenever I do it," she sighed, letting her fingers fall away from me. "I'd rather get it over with."

I made a faint sound of agreement in my throat but I didn't verbally respond. Ivy didn't need me telling her I understand what she was feeling when I didn't. Glenn was my friend, but he was something more than that to Ivy and she was going to have to hurt him when the sun came up. I didn't understand exactly how she was feeling at that moment and I didn't want to cheapen her feelings by pretending that I did.

"Should I go?" I asked a few minutes later.

My eyes were starting to droop closed and my breath was evening out and I knew that if I didn't leave soon I was going to fall asleep on Ivy to the steady sound of her heart beating.

Ivy was still and silent beside me, even her chest stopped moving as if she were holding her breath and I knew that she was thinking very seriously about my question.

"No," she breathed out finally, a rush of air flowing from her as the word fell from her lips. "Stay. I want you to stay," she continued, her voice gaining strength as she spoke. Her hand moved to my hair again and her fingers began to lightly comb through the curly locks. "Go to sleep."

"What about …"

"If," she began cutting off my question before she paused to gather her thoughts. "If it's too much, I'll carry you back to your room. But … I want to try. I want to be near you."

I thought about protesting, about volunteering to go back to my room anyway but something in Ivy's tone stopped me. When I had first proposed spending the night her voice had been hesitant and perhaps even a little afraid. She didn't sound like that anymore though. This time when she spoke she sounded … determined. She had made up her mind and that was going to be that. It reminded me of the way she used to talk about abstaining from blood, and the absolute rigidity with which she had held onto her convictions until the constant stress of living with me had forced to her to start practicing again. I knew it still pained her that she had to give up her years long fast and I hoped that this time I could help strengthen her instead of weakening her.

I would be as chaste as I promised. I would be as pure as the driven snow. There could be a show on the Disney Channel about me. I would think only of the comforting sound of her heart and not of the tantalizing swell of her breast just below it. I would close my eyes and I would go to sleep. I would not caress her stomach, or tease her arms with my fingers, or do anything else that would stir up passions we both had promised not to indulge in until things with Glenn had been settled.

I would behave and in the afternoon I would wake up in Ivy's arms and it would be good. She would be happy that she had overcome her fears and overcome her instincts and I would be happy because she was happy and Hollywood films had taught me that's what love and relationships were all about.

"Okay," I whispered, snuggling against her but making sure to avoid any hot zones. "But if you find out I snore, you're still stuck with me."

Ivy laughed at that, and I felt myself smile, quite pleased with my accomplishment.

"You do," Ivy said fondly, her arms squeezing me a little tighter for a moment.

"Oh," I said a little alarmed. That was supposed to haven been a joke.

"I think it's cute," Ivy whispered reassuringly, no doubt having picked up on the momentary uncertainty in my voice.

"Do you really?" I asked.

"Uh huh," Ivy murmured.

"Do you find it cute enough to listen to for the next hundred and thirty years?" I inquired.

"Definitely," Ivy responded without a hint of doubt before she buried her nose in my hair.

"Fine, I'll spend the night," I declared as if I hadn't been the one creeping into her bedroom.

"Oh, thanks so much," Ivy responded dryly and I could picture her rolling her eyes at me.

"You're welcome," I replied through a yawn. "'Night," I said yawning again.

"Goodnight," she breathed out, and as my eyes closed I could picture the smile I knew she was wearing and my own lips curved up as my breathing began to even out and I drifted into sleep's gentle embrace.

To be continued …