Fic: A Necessary Evil
Jul. 12th, 2005 09:12 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
fembuckTitle: A Necessary Evil
Fandom: Alias
Disclaimer: I do not, have never, and will never own these characters.
Rating: NC-17
Pairing: Syd/Nadia
*****************************************
Nadia’s head rolled to the side as she slowly awoke, her lips parting as a small sound emerged from her throat, her eyes blinking against the daylight streaming into the room. Gradually she became aware of the fact that her hips were undulating and that she was issuing soft moans at regular intervals. Ignoring the slight throbbing in her head she wondered what kind of dream she had been having as she finally opened her eyes to the world.
As she looked to the side Nadia became aware of two things. The first was that wet lips were trailing up the inside of her thigh, kissing and sucking tantalizingly on her skin, moving deliriously close to her center with every passing second. She was most definitely not alone in the bed. The second thing she realized was that she wasn’t in her bedroom … she was in Sydney’s.
She felt a shiver run through her, almost as if someone had poured a trickle of ice-cold water down her back, as she gazed into her sister’s open closet. But almost as soon as she became aware of the tickling sensation, she felt a wet tongue dip between the folds of her sex, and this captured her full attention as her eyes closed again and she arched off of the bed.
Distantly, somewhere in the back of her mind, Nadia was aware of the fact that Sydney would be pissed beyond belief at her if she found out that she had gotten drunk and had sex in her bed. But as the mouth on her moved upwards capturing her clit and sucking with a delicious roughness, she found it hard to be concerned with her sister’s wrath or even her whereabouts. A ragged exhalation was torn from her lips, it had never been this good with Weiss before and she wondered idly if she was more forgiving when she was hung-over or if he was more talented.
Fingers moved to her sex parting her lips so that the tongue between her legs could move more freely, sweeping against her in broad strokes. As the talented mouth making love to her center continued to drive her wild, Nadia became aware of the feel of long hair sweeping across the insides on her thighs. She also became aware of the feel of the hands on her; delicate and soft. They were most definitely not Weiss’s. She realized that she was with a woman and thought that it explained why the oral was suddenly so good. Trying not to smile at the thought as she found her hips bucking again, she wondered just how drunk she had gotten the night before.
She was kissing soft skin as she awoke, her hands on smooth thighs gently pushing them apart as she realized that her wet dream had already become a wet and waiting reality. Nipping at the delicate skin beneath her lips the thought occurred to her still somewhat sleep addled mind that she should stop and take stock of the situation. After all she thought, as her eyes and lips drifted to the dark thatch of hair and the apex of the very shapely and delicious thighs she was feasting on, it was painfully clear to her that whoever she was in bed with wasn’t Vaughn, and if it wasn’t Vaughn, it meant that she had no idea who she was going down on. But as a soft moan from above reached her ears, and she got the first taste of the sweet nectar dripping from the woman beneath her, she knew that she didn’t want to stop and that she wasn’t going to. After all, she had woken up naked, between this woman’s thighs which meant that whatever the damage it was already done, and she could at least get in one she would remember. Besides, Syd thought as she stroked her tongue between wet, engorged lips, her lover tasted wonderful … and strangely familiar.
Nadia was strongly tempted to look down as she felt one long finger, and then another, enter her. A completely kinky, and wanton part of her brain wanted to see what was being done to her, wanted to see those long fingers coated in her juices as they disappeared between her legs, while that talented tongue flicked against her clit. But she fought the urge to watch, not wanting to do anything that could ruin the moment. She didn’t want to look down and realize she had no idea who she was looking at. She figured that she could deal with the awkward “So, you are?” conversation later … after she’d come. And as her hips rose from the bed once more and she gripped the bed sheet under her hands tightly, she realized that that point in time wasn’t far off. It was so good, and she was so close, and as another finger entered her (third or fourth, she had lost count) she was also so full.
Sydney felt a hand tangle itself in her hair and knew that her lover was seconds away from coming. Her breaths were coming in short gasps and she could feel the woman’s inner walls clenching at her fingers more rapidly. And then a kind of sob issued from above and the body beneath her tensed before being to shake, flooding her lips, chin and fingers with warm, creamy wetness as she continued to work her fingers in and out of her lover.
“Yes, yes, don’t stop, Jesus don’t stop!” Sydney was licking again as the lowly gasped words reached her ears, her tongue stopping in mid-stroke as they did. She recognized the voice encouraging her to continue bringing them off immediately. It was Nadia.
She felt the hand in her hair slacken as the body, Nadia’s body, relaxed back onto the bed, her breathing fast and deep as she begun to recover from her orgasms. Sydney remained where she was, not moving a muscle as Nadia stroked her hair absently, the realization that she had just gone down on her sister, that her face was still pressed against Nadia’s most intimate flesh, her sister’s juices coating her lips, hitting her like a ton of bricks.
Suddenly Sydney was struck by the idea that it was a mistake. Maybe it was just a dream, some horrible nightmare caused by indigestion or excesses of vodka. Or maybe she was mistaken with her voice analysis. After all she’d never heard Nadia’s voice at the height of passion before, maybe whoever she was with just sounded like Nadia. It was hope and she seized onto it, choosing not to think about the fact that if one of those scenarios was true, it meant she was having erotic dreams about her sister, and if the other was true that had gotten drunk and brought home a woman that reminded her of her sister.
Slowly, almost fearfully, Sydney lifted her eyes from where they had settled on a patch of thigh and looked up. She had to fight the urge to sigh and squeeze her eyes shut with horror and confusion. It was definitely Nadia, much more of Nadia than she had ever seen before, or probably ever should have seen. The image of her sister’s smooth stomach was covered in a light sheen of sweet and glistening in the morning sunlight, as her small, perfectly shaped breasts swayed slightly with her breathing, her nipples hard and standing tall, burning itself into her mind.
Realizing as her breathing returned to normal that she couldn’t put it off anymore, Nadia slowly and hesitantly, feeling that the woman was still between her legs, looked down the length of her body, her eyes meeting Sydney’s a moment later.
She gasped her eyes widening in shock and then confusion, before she began blinking incredulously into Sydney’s dark green eyes, not quite able to accept the image of her sister laying between her legs, her chin wet with cum as she stared up at her. But even as she wondered if her mind was playing tricks on her, and why it would chose this particular image, abstractedly, she realized that if it was real it would explain why she was in Sydney’s room.
As Nadia stared down at her wide-eyed, Sydney was certain that Nadia had no more of an idea how they ended up … the way they were then she did. She rolled to the side, and sat up with her legs over the side of the bed, her back to Nadia as she discretefully – she hoped – lifted the back of her hand up to her mouth, suddenly desperate to get the taste clinging to them off. She soon realized however that it wasn’t working when every time she licked her lips she could still taste Nadia. She looked down hoping to distract herself but found nothing but her own nakedness, which only made things worse as it sunk in with her that they had slept with each other the night before – probably quite a few times if the slight aching in her muscles was any indication. Glancing around the room before looking at her naked body once more, spotting a few scratches as she looked more carefully, she knew that it had been … spirited as well.
With a feeling of dread and panic suddenly filling her, Sydney dropped her head into her hands staring the burgundy carpet beneath her feet, desperately trying to remember what had happened the night before.
Nadia shifted upwards on the bed so that she was leaning against the headboard drawing the sheet up with her covering her chest before chancing a glance over at Sydney. Presented with her sister’s naked back and seeing a few faint red lines on her skin, Nadia looked away knowing instinctively that she had made them, the thought that she had been clawing at her sister in the throes of passion causing her tighten her grip on the blanket, almost as if she thought if she could cover herself enough she could make it go away. Desperately, trying not to think about what they had done the night before – or minutes ago for that matter – Nadia cast her head to the side of room that wasn’t occupied by Sydney.
Clothes were randomly strewn about the room and the chair of Sydney’s desk had been knocked over and was lying with its spinning wheels facing the wall. Numerous papers lay scattered on the floor in front of the desk, and the hamper had been knocked over. Nadia closed her eyes, a pained expression coming to her face as she thought that there was only one explanation for that type of wreckage around a room.
She brought her hand up to her face and rubbed at her temples, which were suddenly throbbing. Suddenly she wondered what the rest of the house looked like, and very nearly laughed, before sticking a finger in her mouth and biting down to stop any sound from emerging. It was a sick thought, but she wasn’t exactly sure why she working so hard to control her reaction to it since it would hardly have been the most inappropriate thing she had done in the past twenty-four hours. Or even the past fifteen.
“I’m hung over,” Nadia declared quietly, the words slipping effortlessly out of her mouth as her head pounded, and flashes of colour began to dance behind her closed eyelids. She hadn’t meant to speak. She wondered if she was starting to remember what had happened the night before, and if she really wanted to.
“You’re not the only one,” Sydney responded in a dull tone, her back still to Nadia as she spoke. Only she didn’t feel hung over exactly. Her head hurt slightly yes, but the rest of the usual symptoms weren’t there, leaving her unsure why she was so willing to agree with Nadia’s statement. She supposed she just wanted to grab onto any excuse that might explain their current predicament. But, still she wondered at the ease with which the words fell out of her mouth, coming out so smoothly and unconsciously that they could have been rehearsed.
“No more ladies nights for me,” Nadia replied releasing a sound from her throat that was somewhere between a choke and a chuckle, confounded by her own response as it came out of her. She didn’t understand how she could be so calm, even flippant. She certainly didn’t feel calm, she felt numb and freaked out, and strangely muted, but those things didn’t usually lend themselves to witty conversation. Yet, the conversation seemed so easy, almost familiar, as if they had had it a hundred times before…
Sydney fought the urge to turn around as memories began to flash into her brain. She remembered a dinner with Nadia from months before. There was easy conversation, fun, laugher, warmth and wine, lots and lots of wine. She remembered them staggering out of the house and into a cab, and a bar with a mechanical bull that Nadia kept laughing and pushing her towards until she finally got on it. She fuzzily remembered beer and a few shooters, and then staggering back into the house at god knew what hour, their arms wrapped around each other trying to steady themselves and nearly knocking each other over as they walked. She remembered her head falling forward resting against Nadia’s as they looked at each other laughed, and then swaying towards Nadia almost as if she was being pulled, and then her lips pressed against Nadia’s as they kissed. Then they were stumbling into a bedroom, still laughing as their hands ran over each other as they kissed sloppily and laughed at their current lack of technique. Her lips descending on the parts of Nadia’s body that she had managed to free of clothes with her drunken hand before she gave up and decided to work with what she had. Her lips on her breasts, sucking on her nipples, licking her stomach nipping at the skin as she made her way down to the dark triangle of hair at the apex of Nadia’s thighs, and Nadia’s fingers inside of her pumping as she kissed her sister’s breasts. She remembered their semi-naked bodies lying together, too exhausted and too wasted to move but more sober than they had been before and sobering up even more with every passing second. Confusion, disbelief, guilt and shame crackling between them as they tried to roll away from each other, shifting as far away as they could get on the bed before their heads started to pound and they had to lay still in the perverted bed that they had made or risk emptying their stomachs. Nadia speaking, “I’m hung over,” defensive and slightly accusatory. Her rejoinder, “You’re not the only one,” even more defensive and accusatory. Nadia staring at the ceiling before muttering, “No more ladies nights for me,” her words awkward and stilted, a weak attempt at black humor that was followed by a hasty, stumbled exit.
Nadia glanced back over at Sydney’s back as memories flooded into her. She remembered the strained silence and overly polite exchanges that had followed for weeks after they had sobered up together, naked, sweaty and entangled in half removed articles of clothing and bed sheets, smelling of alcohol and sex. She remembered how things finally, slowly appeared to return to normal, the guise only broken by an occasional –
and then increasingly frequent – glance or extended look when they thought the other wasn’t looking. Those secret looks eventually became more brazen and obvious as they silently tried to convey their secret but shared desire to do it again. A silent agreement or sorts had arisen out of those looks to try and recreate the conditions that had led to their first encounter. Lots of drinks followed but they were never quite enough. Fevered kissing, and hands roaming and groping before the temporary alcohol haze in their minds began to clear much to quickly, leaving them fully aware of what they were doing, essentially stopping them before they were able do it. More feelings of shame, guilt, and unfulfilled desire burning through them causing them to avert their eyes and inch away from each other before fleeing to their separate rooms. She remembered avoiding each other for days after these attempts, not talking except for at work when they couldn’t help it, until their routine of faux normalcy returned, shortly to be followed by another attempt.
Sydney looked down at her hand, remembered herself twirling a small blue pill between her fingers the night before. She had first seen a pill like that during a mission briefing. The CIA had developed the drug. It made people extremely suggestible making them extremely easy to interrogate and break, and as an added bonus it caused blocked amnesia – complete blackness from the time of ingestion for up to eight hours afterwards. But, and they had been warned during the briefing, if someone were to take the drug without being monitored and questioned, the drug would cause the person to become introverted fixated on their deepest, strongest most sublimated desires, which they could then not help but act on, if given the freedom to do so. They had been given special permission by Chase to use the drug on an information-gathering mission. Days after the mission was completed she’d sat down to dinner with Nadia, it was during one of their faux normalcy stages. Nadia had looked over at her rather innocently and after taking a sip from her cup had wondered out loud what the drug would be like. Sydney had looked over at sister after she spoke holding her gaze for a long moment before making a small unintelligible sound in her throat. Another silent agreement had been made.
Nadia could now remember pinching a small blue pill between her fingers for the first time weeks ago, looking over at Sydney as she rolled it between her fingers, seeing her actions mirrored by her sister. She remembered the soft plopping sound the pill made as it hit the clear liquid in her glass, dissolving within seconds and then they were both drinking. It was dark after that; complete darkness and then sunlight hitting her eyes making her bring her hand up to shield her face. And there was movement beside her, Sydney. There was some disorientation at first, surprise and shock and then memories of the night before came back to them. They could remember everything up to drinking their spiked water and both knew what had happened even though they couldn’t remember the details. Her body had remembered though, a thrill running through her and wetness beginning to pool between her legs as she stared at Sydney. But she ignored it, and Sydney stood up with her back to her, silent for a few seconds before saying …
“I can’t remember what happened.” It was true that first time, but they couldn’t say it and really mean it now. The effects of the drug had worn off too quickly this time, or they hadn’t worn themselves out enough during the night, because while they couldn’t remember the night before they both certainly remembered what happened only minutes ago.
“Neither can I,” Nadia responded, remembering the script now, how their morning after conversations had played out so many times before. It didn’t really matter if it was true or not, after all after that first morning it had never really true. They always knew what they had done; knew that they had planned it and enjoyed it; even they couldn’t remember it. What they said to each other afterwards didn’t really matter. All that mattered was that there was an excuse.
“This didn’t happen,” Sydney stated firmly turning around to meet Nadia’s gaze, no longer concerned with her nudity now knowing that Nadia had seen her that way, touched her that way countless times before. “Nothing happened, okay?” she continued noting the confusion and panic that had been in Nadia’s eyes minutes before was no longer present. She remembered too.
“We’ll just,” Sydney continued making a vague flicking motion with her hand not quite remembering what came next and not really caring knowing that it didn’t matter, “and everything will just … be fine.” She couldn’t be sure, but she thought that Nadia looked amused for a second before she nodded her head solemnly. She had to work not to smirk. She’d gotten lazy with her speeches as time had gone on. “I’m gonna,” she jerked her thumb towards the bathroom, “take a shower.” Once again Nadia simply nodded, and Sydney gazed at her for a bed rumbled form longingly for a moment before turning from her and heading towards the bathroom.
Nadia threw the blanket off of her and stood up stretching slightly. That had been more awkward than it had been in a while, the unexpected element of waking up having sex together throwing them off somewhat. She thought back to sight of Sydney lying between her legs, her hair messed from her hands grasping it, her face covered in her wetness, and felt the familiar tingle of arousal, her hand actually straying underneath the blanket before she caught herself. She thought that she would’ve felt ashamed and guilty and sick like she had the first time they had slept together, like she did when she could remember everything that they had done to each other. But she didn’t feel guilty at all. In fact, if Sydney were to have come walking out of the bathroom again she would’ve gladly taken her back into her arms. And, thinking back to the look Sydney had given her before walking into the bathroom, she was certain that her sister would have let her.
It was obvious to Nadia that they were building up a resistance to the drug, and she idly wondered if it would be safe for them to increase the dosages they were taking. However, as her hand twitched against her center under the blanket and she heard the shower turn on, images of Sydney naked and gleaming wet came into her mind, a memory of the feel of Sydney’s tongue dipping inside of her, causing her fingers to begin moving with focus beneath the blanket, Nadia didn’t really think that they drugs were necessary anymore. As her fingers disappeared inside of herself, as Sydney’s had early that morning, Nadia was pretty sure that they had come too far to care anymore.
The End
Fandom: Alias
Disclaimer: I do not, have never, and will never own these characters.
Rating: NC-17
Pairing: Syd/Nadia
*****************************************
Nadia’s head rolled to the side as she slowly awoke, her lips parting as a small sound emerged from her throat, her eyes blinking against the daylight streaming into the room. Gradually she became aware of the fact that her hips were undulating and that she was issuing soft moans at regular intervals. Ignoring the slight throbbing in her head she wondered what kind of dream she had been having as she finally opened her eyes to the world.
As she looked to the side Nadia became aware of two things. The first was that wet lips were trailing up the inside of her thigh, kissing and sucking tantalizingly on her skin, moving deliriously close to her center with every passing second. She was most definitely not alone in the bed. The second thing she realized was that she wasn’t in her bedroom … she was in Sydney’s.
She felt a shiver run through her, almost as if someone had poured a trickle of ice-cold water down her back, as she gazed into her sister’s open closet. But almost as soon as she became aware of the tickling sensation, she felt a wet tongue dip between the folds of her sex, and this captured her full attention as her eyes closed again and she arched off of the bed.
Distantly, somewhere in the back of her mind, Nadia was aware of the fact that Sydney would be pissed beyond belief at her if she found out that she had gotten drunk and had sex in her bed. But as the mouth on her moved upwards capturing her clit and sucking with a delicious roughness, she found it hard to be concerned with her sister’s wrath or even her whereabouts. A ragged exhalation was torn from her lips, it had never been this good with Weiss before and she wondered idly if she was more forgiving when she was hung-over or if he was more talented.
Fingers moved to her sex parting her lips so that the tongue between her legs could move more freely, sweeping against her in broad strokes. As the talented mouth making love to her center continued to drive her wild, Nadia became aware of the feel of long hair sweeping across the insides on her thighs. She also became aware of the feel of the hands on her; delicate and soft. They were most definitely not Weiss’s. She realized that she was with a woman and thought that it explained why the oral was suddenly so good. Trying not to smile at the thought as she found her hips bucking again, she wondered just how drunk she had gotten the night before.
She was kissing soft skin as she awoke, her hands on smooth thighs gently pushing them apart as she realized that her wet dream had already become a wet and waiting reality. Nipping at the delicate skin beneath her lips the thought occurred to her still somewhat sleep addled mind that she should stop and take stock of the situation. After all she thought, as her eyes and lips drifted to the dark thatch of hair and the apex of the very shapely and delicious thighs she was feasting on, it was painfully clear to her that whoever she was in bed with wasn’t Vaughn, and if it wasn’t Vaughn, it meant that she had no idea who she was going down on. But as a soft moan from above reached her ears, and she got the first taste of the sweet nectar dripping from the woman beneath her, she knew that she didn’t want to stop and that she wasn’t going to. After all, she had woken up naked, between this woman’s thighs which meant that whatever the damage it was already done, and she could at least get in one she would remember. Besides, Syd thought as she stroked her tongue between wet, engorged lips, her lover tasted wonderful … and strangely familiar.
Nadia was strongly tempted to look down as she felt one long finger, and then another, enter her. A completely kinky, and wanton part of her brain wanted to see what was being done to her, wanted to see those long fingers coated in her juices as they disappeared between her legs, while that talented tongue flicked against her clit. But she fought the urge to watch, not wanting to do anything that could ruin the moment. She didn’t want to look down and realize she had no idea who she was looking at. She figured that she could deal with the awkward “So, you are?” conversation later … after she’d come. And as her hips rose from the bed once more and she gripped the bed sheet under her hands tightly, she realized that that point in time wasn’t far off. It was so good, and she was so close, and as another finger entered her (third or fourth, she had lost count) she was also so full.
Sydney felt a hand tangle itself in her hair and knew that her lover was seconds away from coming. Her breaths were coming in short gasps and she could feel the woman’s inner walls clenching at her fingers more rapidly. And then a kind of sob issued from above and the body beneath her tensed before being to shake, flooding her lips, chin and fingers with warm, creamy wetness as she continued to work her fingers in and out of her lover.
“Yes, yes, don’t stop, Jesus don’t stop!” Sydney was licking again as the lowly gasped words reached her ears, her tongue stopping in mid-stroke as they did. She recognized the voice encouraging her to continue bringing them off immediately. It was Nadia.
She felt the hand in her hair slacken as the body, Nadia’s body, relaxed back onto the bed, her breathing fast and deep as she begun to recover from her orgasms. Sydney remained where she was, not moving a muscle as Nadia stroked her hair absently, the realization that she had just gone down on her sister, that her face was still pressed against Nadia’s most intimate flesh, her sister’s juices coating her lips, hitting her like a ton of bricks.
Suddenly Sydney was struck by the idea that it was a mistake. Maybe it was just a dream, some horrible nightmare caused by indigestion or excesses of vodka. Or maybe she was mistaken with her voice analysis. After all she’d never heard Nadia’s voice at the height of passion before, maybe whoever she was with just sounded like Nadia. It was hope and she seized onto it, choosing not to think about the fact that if one of those scenarios was true, it meant she was having erotic dreams about her sister, and if the other was true that had gotten drunk and brought home a woman that reminded her of her sister.
Slowly, almost fearfully, Sydney lifted her eyes from where they had settled on a patch of thigh and looked up. She had to fight the urge to sigh and squeeze her eyes shut with horror and confusion. It was definitely Nadia, much more of Nadia than she had ever seen before, or probably ever should have seen. The image of her sister’s smooth stomach was covered in a light sheen of sweet and glistening in the morning sunlight, as her small, perfectly shaped breasts swayed slightly with her breathing, her nipples hard and standing tall, burning itself into her mind.
Realizing as her breathing returned to normal that she couldn’t put it off anymore, Nadia slowly and hesitantly, feeling that the woman was still between her legs, looked down the length of her body, her eyes meeting Sydney’s a moment later.
She gasped her eyes widening in shock and then confusion, before she began blinking incredulously into Sydney’s dark green eyes, not quite able to accept the image of her sister laying between her legs, her chin wet with cum as she stared up at her. But even as she wondered if her mind was playing tricks on her, and why it would chose this particular image, abstractedly, she realized that if it was real it would explain why she was in Sydney’s room.
As Nadia stared down at her wide-eyed, Sydney was certain that Nadia had no more of an idea how they ended up … the way they were then she did. She rolled to the side, and sat up with her legs over the side of the bed, her back to Nadia as she discretefully – she hoped – lifted the back of her hand up to her mouth, suddenly desperate to get the taste clinging to them off. She soon realized however that it wasn’t working when every time she licked her lips she could still taste Nadia. She looked down hoping to distract herself but found nothing but her own nakedness, which only made things worse as it sunk in with her that they had slept with each other the night before – probably quite a few times if the slight aching in her muscles was any indication. Glancing around the room before looking at her naked body once more, spotting a few scratches as she looked more carefully, she knew that it had been … spirited as well.
With a feeling of dread and panic suddenly filling her, Sydney dropped her head into her hands staring the burgundy carpet beneath her feet, desperately trying to remember what had happened the night before.
Nadia shifted upwards on the bed so that she was leaning against the headboard drawing the sheet up with her covering her chest before chancing a glance over at Sydney. Presented with her sister’s naked back and seeing a few faint red lines on her skin, Nadia looked away knowing instinctively that she had made them, the thought that she had been clawing at her sister in the throes of passion causing her tighten her grip on the blanket, almost as if she thought if she could cover herself enough she could make it go away. Desperately, trying not to think about what they had done the night before – or minutes ago for that matter – Nadia cast her head to the side of room that wasn’t occupied by Sydney.
Clothes were randomly strewn about the room and the chair of Sydney’s desk had been knocked over and was lying with its spinning wheels facing the wall. Numerous papers lay scattered on the floor in front of the desk, and the hamper had been knocked over. Nadia closed her eyes, a pained expression coming to her face as she thought that there was only one explanation for that type of wreckage around a room.
She brought her hand up to her face and rubbed at her temples, which were suddenly throbbing. Suddenly she wondered what the rest of the house looked like, and very nearly laughed, before sticking a finger in her mouth and biting down to stop any sound from emerging. It was a sick thought, but she wasn’t exactly sure why she working so hard to control her reaction to it since it would hardly have been the most inappropriate thing she had done in the past twenty-four hours. Or even the past fifteen.
“I’m hung over,” Nadia declared quietly, the words slipping effortlessly out of her mouth as her head pounded, and flashes of colour began to dance behind her closed eyelids. She hadn’t meant to speak. She wondered if she was starting to remember what had happened the night before, and if she really wanted to.
“You’re not the only one,” Sydney responded in a dull tone, her back still to Nadia as she spoke. Only she didn’t feel hung over exactly. Her head hurt slightly yes, but the rest of the usual symptoms weren’t there, leaving her unsure why she was so willing to agree with Nadia’s statement. She supposed she just wanted to grab onto any excuse that might explain their current predicament. But, still she wondered at the ease with which the words fell out of her mouth, coming out so smoothly and unconsciously that they could have been rehearsed.
“No more ladies nights for me,” Nadia replied releasing a sound from her throat that was somewhere between a choke and a chuckle, confounded by her own response as it came out of her. She didn’t understand how she could be so calm, even flippant. She certainly didn’t feel calm, she felt numb and freaked out, and strangely muted, but those things didn’t usually lend themselves to witty conversation. Yet, the conversation seemed so easy, almost familiar, as if they had had it a hundred times before…
Sydney fought the urge to turn around as memories began to flash into her brain. She remembered a dinner with Nadia from months before. There was easy conversation, fun, laugher, warmth and wine, lots and lots of wine. She remembered them staggering out of the house and into a cab, and a bar with a mechanical bull that Nadia kept laughing and pushing her towards until she finally got on it. She fuzzily remembered beer and a few shooters, and then staggering back into the house at god knew what hour, their arms wrapped around each other trying to steady themselves and nearly knocking each other over as they walked. She remembered her head falling forward resting against Nadia’s as they looked at each other laughed, and then swaying towards Nadia almost as if she was being pulled, and then her lips pressed against Nadia’s as they kissed. Then they were stumbling into a bedroom, still laughing as their hands ran over each other as they kissed sloppily and laughed at their current lack of technique. Her lips descending on the parts of Nadia’s body that she had managed to free of clothes with her drunken hand before she gave up and decided to work with what she had. Her lips on her breasts, sucking on her nipples, licking her stomach nipping at the skin as she made her way down to the dark triangle of hair at the apex of Nadia’s thighs, and Nadia’s fingers inside of her pumping as she kissed her sister’s breasts. She remembered their semi-naked bodies lying together, too exhausted and too wasted to move but more sober than they had been before and sobering up even more with every passing second. Confusion, disbelief, guilt and shame crackling between them as they tried to roll away from each other, shifting as far away as they could get on the bed before their heads started to pound and they had to lay still in the perverted bed that they had made or risk emptying their stomachs. Nadia speaking, “I’m hung over,” defensive and slightly accusatory. Her rejoinder, “You’re not the only one,” even more defensive and accusatory. Nadia staring at the ceiling before muttering, “No more ladies nights for me,” her words awkward and stilted, a weak attempt at black humor that was followed by a hasty, stumbled exit.
Nadia glanced back over at Sydney’s back as memories flooded into her. She remembered the strained silence and overly polite exchanges that had followed for weeks after they had sobered up together, naked, sweaty and entangled in half removed articles of clothing and bed sheets, smelling of alcohol and sex. She remembered how things finally, slowly appeared to return to normal, the guise only broken by an occasional –
and then increasingly frequent – glance or extended look when they thought the other wasn’t looking. Those secret looks eventually became more brazen and obvious as they silently tried to convey their secret but shared desire to do it again. A silent agreement or sorts had arisen out of those looks to try and recreate the conditions that had led to their first encounter. Lots of drinks followed but they were never quite enough. Fevered kissing, and hands roaming and groping before the temporary alcohol haze in their minds began to clear much to quickly, leaving them fully aware of what they were doing, essentially stopping them before they were able do it. More feelings of shame, guilt, and unfulfilled desire burning through them causing them to avert their eyes and inch away from each other before fleeing to their separate rooms. She remembered avoiding each other for days after these attempts, not talking except for at work when they couldn’t help it, until their routine of faux normalcy returned, shortly to be followed by another attempt.
Sydney looked down at her hand, remembered herself twirling a small blue pill between her fingers the night before. She had first seen a pill like that during a mission briefing. The CIA had developed the drug. It made people extremely suggestible making them extremely easy to interrogate and break, and as an added bonus it caused blocked amnesia – complete blackness from the time of ingestion for up to eight hours afterwards. But, and they had been warned during the briefing, if someone were to take the drug without being monitored and questioned, the drug would cause the person to become introverted fixated on their deepest, strongest most sublimated desires, which they could then not help but act on, if given the freedom to do so. They had been given special permission by Chase to use the drug on an information-gathering mission. Days after the mission was completed she’d sat down to dinner with Nadia, it was during one of their faux normalcy stages. Nadia had looked over at her rather innocently and after taking a sip from her cup had wondered out loud what the drug would be like. Sydney had looked over at sister after she spoke holding her gaze for a long moment before making a small unintelligible sound in her throat. Another silent agreement had been made.
Nadia could now remember pinching a small blue pill between her fingers for the first time weeks ago, looking over at Sydney as she rolled it between her fingers, seeing her actions mirrored by her sister. She remembered the soft plopping sound the pill made as it hit the clear liquid in her glass, dissolving within seconds and then they were both drinking. It was dark after that; complete darkness and then sunlight hitting her eyes making her bring her hand up to shield her face. And there was movement beside her, Sydney. There was some disorientation at first, surprise and shock and then memories of the night before came back to them. They could remember everything up to drinking their spiked water and both knew what had happened even though they couldn’t remember the details. Her body had remembered though, a thrill running through her and wetness beginning to pool between her legs as she stared at Sydney. But she ignored it, and Sydney stood up with her back to her, silent for a few seconds before saying …
“I can’t remember what happened.” It was true that first time, but they couldn’t say it and really mean it now. The effects of the drug had worn off too quickly this time, or they hadn’t worn themselves out enough during the night, because while they couldn’t remember the night before they both certainly remembered what happened only minutes ago.
“Neither can I,” Nadia responded, remembering the script now, how their morning after conversations had played out so many times before. It didn’t really matter if it was true or not, after all after that first morning it had never really true. They always knew what they had done; knew that they had planned it and enjoyed it; even they couldn’t remember it. What they said to each other afterwards didn’t really matter. All that mattered was that there was an excuse.
“This didn’t happen,” Sydney stated firmly turning around to meet Nadia’s gaze, no longer concerned with her nudity now knowing that Nadia had seen her that way, touched her that way countless times before. “Nothing happened, okay?” she continued noting the confusion and panic that had been in Nadia’s eyes minutes before was no longer present. She remembered too.
“We’ll just,” Sydney continued making a vague flicking motion with her hand not quite remembering what came next and not really caring knowing that it didn’t matter, “and everything will just … be fine.” She couldn’t be sure, but she thought that Nadia looked amused for a second before she nodded her head solemnly. She had to work not to smirk. She’d gotten lazy with her speeches as time had gone on. “I’m gonna,” she jerked her thumb towards the bathroom, “take a shower.” Once again Nadia simply nodded, and Sydney gazed at her for a bed rumbled form longingly for a moment before turning from her and heading towards the bathroom.
Nadia threw the blanket off of her and stood up stretching slightly. That had been more awkward than it had been in a while, the unexpected element of waking up having sex together throwing them off somewhat. She thought back to sight of Sydney lying between her legs, her hair messed from her hands grasping it, her face covered in her wetness, and felt the familiar tingle of arousal, her hand actually straying underneath the blanket before she caught herself. She thought that she would’ve felt ashamed and guilty and sick like she had the first time they had slept together, like she did when she could remember everything that they had done to each other. But she didn’t feel guilty at all. In fact, if Sydney were to have come walking out of the bathroom again she would’ve gladly taken her back into her arms. And, thinking back to the look Sydney had given her before walking into the bathroom, she was certain that her sister would have let her.
It was obvious to Nadia that they were building up a resistance to the drug, and she idly wondered if it would be safe for them to increase the dosages they were taking. However, as her hand twitched against her center under the blanket and she heard the shower turn on, images of Sydney naked and gleaming wet came into her mind, a memory of the feel of Sydney’s tongue dipping inside of her, causing her fingers to begin moving with focus beneath the blanket, Nadia didn’t really think that they drugs were necessary anymore. As her fingers disappeared inside of herself, as Sydney’s had early that morning, Nadia was pretty sure that they had come too far to care anymore.
The End
![[identity profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/openid.png){kind=small}
no subject
Date: 2005-07-16 04:37 pm (UTC)are they having season 5 coming this october? guess i have to start downloading the torrents for whole season 4 lol.. *whooohooo there's a bundle of season 4 on torrents and it's 7.50GB :s oh my goodness* cant wait to see it.. haha u got me so excited about this show now..
awww so they become VERY attached.. thats good ;)
cant wait to see it..
and thx again, if i had any Qs.. im sure ill get back to u :D