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fembuckTitle: Underneath It All
Fandom: X-Men
Pairing: Jean Grey/Emma Frost
Rating: NC-17
Disclaimer: Don’t own them, though I do covet them.
Part 18
The next morning…
Jean stared at her reflection in the mirror. She looked like ten miles of bad road. She’d barely slept the night before, she tossed and turned plagued by nightmares she couldn’t quite remember when she shocked herself (and Ororo) awake. She gotten out of her friend’s bed then and spent the night staring at one of Ororo’s books, not really reading but not really thinking either. Just sitting there staring blankly.
She jerked slightly her head swinging to the side when she identified the noise.
Someone was knocking at the door.
“I didn’t think you’d really be in here,” Scott said as Jean opened the door to Ororo’s room brushing past her before she could get a word out. He knew that Ororo wasn’t inside, he’d seen her head down on her way to breakfast a few minutes before and when Jean wasn’t with her had seized upon the opportunity to catch his wife in a lie. Despite what she had said he was certain that she had gone to spend the night with her blonde whore.
“I told you I would be,” Jean replied finally closing the door and leaning against it as Scott stalked about Ororo’s bedroom for a moment before finally turning to face her.
“Your word doesn’t really mean a hell of a lot to me at the moment,” Scott responded unkindly staring at Jean for a moment before averting his eyes. She’d sworn to love him and obey him, in sickness and in health until death did them part, but she hadn’t kept her word then. He was still very much alive, and if you loved someone you didn’t go around fucking other people while they were in crisis.
“I never lied to you,” Jean replied her voice holding a hard edge, sounding much more like Emma than herself at that moment.
“No,” Scott admitted. He supposed Jean hadn’t lied to him outright. “You just whored around behind by back,” which is much better, much more honorable he thought to himself self-righteously.
“You were out in the wilds of America with no way to reach you,” Jean began her voice rising slightly. “That’s a hell of a lot of back!” she went on losing the battle with her own temper. “I told you what happened as soon as you decided I was important enough to acknowledge!”
“So this is my fault?” Scott asked incredulously. He couldn’t believe she was trying to turn not being able to keep her legs shut around on him. He’d been away from her as long as she’d been away from him and he had never entertained the idea of leaving her for some pretty piece of ass.
“Honestly? Yes,” Jean exclaimed. “In part,” she added realizing that she was beginning to sound unreasonable. “You left, you left for a long time Scott,” she continued forcefully calming her voice. “You didn’t just leave the door open you blew it off of its hinges, tossed in onto the front yard and then drove a bulldozer through the doorway.”
Scott glared at her. He needed time, he needed space, neither of which was the same as agreeing to give up his wife and marriage. “So I should have expected you to spread for the closest warm body the minute I left the mansion?” He asked coldly.
Jean breathed in deeply, her eyes narrowing. She squeezed her eyes tightly shut and took some more deep calming breathes. She could feel herself beginning to lose control of her temper, really lose control of her temper and she knew she couldn’t afford to do that. If she let the Phoenix force out she could take out the whole mansion in a moment of fury. She needed to calm down before responding to him.
“Are you trying to punish me?” Scott asked when Jean didn’t respond. “Is that what this is all about?” he continued completely oblivious to the struggle going on within Jean and the danger his taunting created. “I leave and you can’t get a hold of me, so you bed Emma Frost to make my life hell when I get back?”
“My god,” Jean exclaimed in exasperation, finally feeling the fire within calm, the ridiculousness of his claim giving her a bit of needed distance. “Not everything in the fucking universe revolves around you Scott! I’m not prostituting myself to her as part of some elaborate and retarded plan to make you feel bad. Jesus,” she sighed shaking her head.
“Are you going to divorce me?”
Jean looked over at him. At the moment she really couldn’t see why she had even struggled to make the decision. “Since I’m such a vindictive whore, I’m surprised you’re not jumping at the chance to get rid of me,” came her soft, disillusioned reply.
“I didn’t mean that,” Scott replied sighing a moment later. He really hadn’t. He knew Jean, he knew that she wasn’t like that. He just couldn’t … it made him so mad to think about someone else touching his Jean, his wife, to think of Jean touching someone else; especially someone like Emma Frost. It hurt. “I was lashing out.”
“I know,” Jean acknowledged lifting her hand to massage her temples. “I understand.”
“Are you going to leave me?” Scott asked again seeing Jean’s weariness and tension.
Jean looked over at him. There it was. She looked away needing a moment to compose herself. She had been with him for so long, and she had loved him. It wasn’t as if her feelings for him, their feelings for each other had been a lie. They had been in love once, her heart had once beaten faster at the sight of him, and his touch had once made her shiver.
“Do you still love me?” Scott asked, real anxiety in his voice as he looked over at his silent wife.
Jean looked up at him at the sound of his voice, automatically taking a step forward responding to the pained tone, but she stopped herself before she could move any farther. That wouldn’t help anything.
“Yes,” she said watching him from a few meters away, but she continued quickly before he could interrupt again. “But … I’m not sure it’s in the same way I once did,” she went on. “We haven’t really talked to each other for a long time Scott, and when you were in pain you didn’t share that with me. You ran away. And I’m not saying that it’s all your fault, I know that I’m culpable for my own actions,” she continued, her mind involuntarily flashing back to the first night she made love with Emma. “I just have to wonder what state our marriage had fallen into that pretty much anything was better than talking to me, then being around me. I,” and here she paused knowing that what she said would hurt him but knowing that it was unavoidable. “I’ve felt things with Emma that I haven’t felt in a long time,” she finished, leaving out the ‘or ever before’ her mind had supplied.
Scott moved stiffly over to Ororo’s bed and sat down his head almost immediately falling into his hands.
“You’re really in love with her?” He finally mumbled a minute later, his voice muffled as he looked down in his lap.
Jean released a shaky breath and leaned up against Ororo’s dresser. “I am,” she said her voice shaky as she watched his dejected figure. She looked away blinking, feeling tears in her eyes as an overwhelming wave of guilt washed over her. She never meant to hurt him, she really didn’t. She didn’t want this to happen, but she couldn’t stop it.
Scott looked up in the silence that followed Jean’s reply, looking over at his wife to see her tears in her eyes and automatically stood up. Moving on instinct he walked over to her and reached out using his thumbs to wipe away the tears that had escaped her eyes. He held her face cradled in his hands for a moment and then leaned forward pressing his lips against hers, trying to convey his love for her through the kiss.
Jean breathed in deeply at the feel of his lips surprised and not surprised by the action. She forced herself to remain still, to allow the contact since she was as curious as Scott was as to what her reaction would be. And as he deepened the kiss she got her answer: minimal.
She thought of Emma and how the blonde’s kisses lit her up inside. Just a brush of Emma’s lips against hers made her heart flutter, the smell of the blonde, the press of her body against her inflaming her and causing her breath to flutter.
She moaned slightly at the thought, and then came back to herself. Though there was once a time when the press of Scott’s lips made her knees weak and her breath hitch there was no flutter with Scott now, there was no flame.
She pulled away from his lips averting her eyes unable to meet his gaze.
Scott kept his eyes on Jean’s averted face. She couldn’t even look at him. He had been aware that she hadn’t been responding to his kiss at first, but she had moaned and leaned into him for a second and he had hoped that maybe the situation wasn’t as dire as he’d thought. But as she looked at her guilty expression a chill went through him. Whether it was through the link they shared, or simply because of the years they had spent together he could feel what Jean was feeling and he knew, he just knew no matter how much he wished he could deny it, that it wasn’t him she had been thinking about when she had responded to the kiss.
“I can’t believe this,” he said sounding shocked staggering back over to the bed and sitting down. “I just …” he looked up at her helplessly. “You’re really serious aren’t you?”
Jean bit her bottom lip and then silently moved to sit beside him.
“I’m serious.”
Scott nodded.
“There’s an empty room beside the professor’s,” he began a second later. “I’ll be there.”
Jean nodded silently. She considered telling him that it wasn’t necessary for him to move out of the room, but decided against it. Telling him that she could stay with Emma wasn’t likely to improve his mood any. Besides, she wasn’t quite sure that she was ready to move in with Emma or that Emma was ready to have her move in despite the rather significant steps forward their relationship had taken.
Scott stood up slowly, still looking slightly dazed. “I don’t think I can talk to you for a little while,” he said his back to her as he turned to face the door.
“I understand,” Jean replied softly her eyes on Scott’s tense back. She could make sure that she’d stay out of his way, it was one of the benefits of being a telepath. She’d make sure to tell Emma to try and stay out of his way as much as possible as well. If he couldn’t stand to be around her, she knew that her girlfriend would be an equally unpleasant reminder of the way things had turned out.
“I love you Jean,” Scott said his back still to her as he spoke. “I’ve never stopped loving you, no matter what I’ve done,” he continued his shoulders slumped and his voice carefully modulated, the emotion he felt being revealed by what he didn’t let show in this voice.
“I know,” Jean replied her voice barely a whisper. “I’m sorry,” she continued. “I’m so sorry, Scott, I …”
Scott held up his hand and she stopped speaking.
“I can’t take anymore of this,” he said moving towards the door. “I can’t hear anymore.”
And with that he disappeared through the door leaving Jean sitting alone on Ororo’s bed.
***************************
Part 19
Later that morning…
Jean used the key Emma had given her the day before to open the blonde’s bedroom door before closing it softly behind her. The room was dark, the only light filtering in from a small crack in the heavy curtains Emma still had pulled over her windows. She could hear the shower going and automatically made her way towards the open washroom door. Leaning against the door frame she looked into the foggy room. Despite the condensation she could make out Emma’s nude figure through the frosted glass of the large shower door.
She reached for the helm of her shirt and began to pull it over her head.
She had kept her word the night before and had not gone to Emma’s room, but she knew that she needed to speak to her lover and had contacted Emma telepathically while Ororo was in her greenhouse tending to her flowers before turning in for the night. She had been worried at first when she couldn’t reach the blonde, fearful that Emma had closed her mind down to her as she had that night in her room when she had stopped touching the blonde after seeing Scott’s picture.
She hadn’t even really realized how used to Emma’s mental presence she had become over the past few weeks until the panic she felt at not being able to reach the blonde registered with her.
She had stretched her powers as her unease grew and was then able to feel Emma by the lake at the edge of the Institute’s grounds. She called out to her and felt herself begin to worry again when Emma didn’t respond right away, but her lover eventually replied. She had given Emma a brief rundown of her interaction with Scott and her plans for staying with Ororo for the night. Emma’s responses were minimal and clipped but before contact was cut between she felt the blonde send her a rush of feeling and relaxed for the first time since Ororo had contacted her earlier that evening. She knew that Emma wasn’t pleased, but also that the blonde wasn’t really mad with her so much as with the situation. She also picked up on a sizable feeling of relief from Emma when she had mentioned spending the night with Ororo. They’d had a lot more to talk about, but she was tired and could feel Emma’s resistance to talking so she had reluctantly let the blonde go after giving her the necessary details.
Emma turned her head to the side as she heard the shower door open and spotted Jean’s lithe, nude figure in the doorway. She had been aware of the redhead’s presence since she had entered her bedroom and was aware of being watched from the doorway of the washroom but she had been rather lost in thought and so was slightly startled by Jean’s appearance in the shower.
“Hello Tiger,” Emma breathed out a moment later turning fully to face Jean as the redhead closed the shower door behind her.
“Hey, baby,” Jean replied smiling briefly before moving towards Emma holding out her hand releasing a breath she hadn’t known she was holding when Emma took her hand gently in her own and tugged her towards her body.
Jean stepped into the warmth of Emma’s body, wrapping her arms around the blonde’s waist, hugging her tightly, so relieved at the feeling of being near Emma that she didn’t particularly care that her arms kept sliding against the blonde’s slick skin making it hard to keep a tight hold on her.
“I’m sorry,” Jean whispered against Emma’s slick collarbone barely aware that she was speaking. “I’m sorry,” she repeated once again trying to draw Emma closer to her.
“For what?” Emma asked softly pulling back from Jean’s embrace a little so that she could see her lover’s face.
“For,” Jean began searching Emma’s face as she thought about what she was apologizing for and realizing that she had absolutely no idea. “I don’t know,” Jean finally said lowering her eyes and shaking her head, a dark chuckle releasing itself from her throat. “It’s been a rough ten hours.”
Emma placed her fingers under Jean’s chin and tipped the redhead’s face up so that she could see her again. She felt bad, she had been abrupt with Jean the previous night preoccupied with her own thoughts and fears and concerns. She could see now how rough the night and morning had been on Jean, but she hadn’t thought about how hard it must have been for the redhead to face her husband and confess to cheating on him when Jean had been talking to her the night before. She’d probably just added to Jean’s stress, and while her concerns about herself were relevant and always first in her mind, she knew she should have also considered Jean’s.
“I know,” Emma said gently staring at Jean for a moment before sighing softly and drawing her into another hug. She wanted to say more, to apologize for her hesitance the night before but she couldn’t force the words past her lips.
“He’s moved out of the room,” Jean mumbled a few moments later pulling back from Emma needing some space to talk about Scott. Emma released her hold on the redhead giving her the space she seemed to want.
“How do you feel about that?” Emma asked carefully keeping her voice neutral. She knew that the fact that Jean was there with her should have been answer enough, that it should have reassured her but she was still anxious as hell about the entire situation. They’d only been a couple for three days and Jean had been married to Scott for over five years. Sure she had superpowers, a scintillating wit and the best body money could buy but that kind of history was enough to make even Emma Frost feel insecure.
Jean laughed at the question the sound dark and chocked. “Sad … relieved … scared,” Jean murmured making a jerky movement as if she were going to try and close the distance between Emma and herself before stopping the motion and staying where she was. “I don’t know. I don’t think I’ve really processed it all yet. I’m just glad it’s over … the talk I mean. The rest of it …” she waved her hand vaguely. There was the rub, the ‘rest of it’. She was sure that next few days and weeks would be just as trying as the past ten hours, but at least everything was out in the open and that was something.
“You were together for a long time,” Emma responded softly slipping into therapist mode trying to view Jean’s words objectively. “It’s natural to feel some anxiety over the change in your relationship,” she continued logically. “It’s perfectly normal to feel lost and confused.”
Jean looked over at Emma as she finished speaking studying her features closely. Emma’s face was a blank mask and her eyes seemed unfocused and distant even though she was looking directly at her.
Jean took a step forward erasing the small gap that had existed between them and grasped Emma’s face in her hands. “Don’t do that.”
“What?” Emma asked vaguely avoiding her gaze.
“Don’t distance yourself from this,” Jean responded seeing the blonde retreating into herself. She knew that this was difficult for Emma, that the blonde had to be feeling somewhat uneasy about the rapid change in their situation, but she was feeling pretty goddamn uneasy herself and she couldn’t do it alone. “Don’t, I couldn’t bare it.”
Emma sighed deeply and turned her eyes to face Jean. She could hear the truth of the redhead’s words in the tone of her voice. Truthfully she hadn’t even realized that she was doing it.
“It’s an ingrained defense. Some sort of survival tactic I seem to have picked up over the years,” Emma said softly shifting uncomfortably. “I don’t really know what to say,” she sighed a moment later looking away from Jean uncomfortably.
Jean smiled at that, Emma Frost at a loss for words was rare.
“Just be honest,” Jean said finally. She didn’t expect Emma to have all the answers, she barely had any herself; she didn’t care if the blonde was confused and uncertain as long as they could be confused and uncertain together.
“I’m glad,” Emma a moment later breathing in deeply, “I’m positively exultant he’s moved out,” she went on meeting Jean’s eyes staring into them intently. “I didn’t want to have to share you even for a little while,” she continued pausing for a moment, her eyes skittering away from Jean’s for a moment before she finished. “I’ve … you’ve,” she went on frowning slightly as she stared at Jean’s shoulder keeping her eyes averted from the redhead. “I ne … ne,” Emma continued closing her eyes as she struggled to get her words out. She didn’t think that she had ever stuttered before in her entire life. “I need you,” she finally stated firmly grasping her sudden and unwanted sophomoric bout of nerves and beating them into submission. Emma Frost didn't stutter, not even if she was madly in love.
Emma’s body was stiff and Jean could see the tension in her muscles and hear the strain in the blonde’s voice. Jean lifted her hand to Emma’s face, feeling her jaw twitch slightly at the contact and nudged Emma’s head towards her so that she could see her eyes.
“You have me,” Jean said softly unconsciously echoing the words she had said to Emma the first morning they woke up in each others arms. Emma stared at her for a long probing moment and then Jean felt the blonde’s mental touch caressing her shields and lowered them further to admit Emma. She was glad for the contact, Emma had been fairly closed off to her since Scott had returned and not knowing what the blonde was feeling put her on edge. She knew that Emma was worried and anxious about the situation and that she was keeping her mental distance in part because she feared if she got a glimpse of Jean’s thoughts that she would find that despite what Jean had told her that once she saw Scott again that her old feelings for him would come back and Jean would leave her.
She held back nothing from Emma knowing that the other woman would interpret any subterfuge on her part in the worst way possible. Her emotions when it came to Scott were still confused, shame mixing with pangs of old affection, guilt, relief, the desire to comfort him, bewilderment at the change in her feelings upon seeing him again, regret and a swirl of other emotions she couldn’t even begin to identify residing within her. It made her slightly uncomfortable to show all of that to Emma and she might have worried about what the other woman’s reaction to her feelings would have been if she wasn’t certain about her feelings for the blonde. Even though to think about how it had come about and how it had developed so quickly sometimes bowled her over, she did love Emma and she knew that the blonde would feel that too, and that it would eclipse any feelings of turmoil she had about Scott.
A few moments later Jean felt Emma’s probing stop. The blonde remained in her mind but her presence was no longer searching. Jean watched as pale eyelids closed over lavender eyes and Emma’s chest fell as she released a deep breath. When Emma’s eyes opened again Jean could see relief and resting her hand on the blonde’s shoulder could feel her body begin to relax once more.
Jean stepped into Emma’s body wrapping her arms around her lover drawing her into her body, sighing as she felt Emma’s body practically folded around her. She kissed the blonde’s neck tenderly as her hands stroked her back soaking in the feel of Emma’s body against her own. And then when Emma pulled back from the embrace slightly Jean surged forward her lips pressing against Emma’s forcefully and intently and she poured everything she felt for blonde into it trying to convey to Emma physically all of the emotions she had sought to show Emma moments before. She felt so much for Emma and her desire for the blonde began to pound against her, battering her emotional defenses like a tidal wave as she kissed her lover.
“I need you too,” Jean whispered nipping at Emma’s cheek as her hands began to roam Emma’s body in earnest. “I need you too,” she said again her hands sliding over the firm round globes of Emma’s ass before squeezed them fervently, Jean’s eyelids fluttering a moment later when she heard Emma gasp as her hand moved from the blonde’s ass to slip between her legs.
“Jean,” Emma gasped as the redhead’s fingers slipped between the moistening folds of her sex. She was wet though it was mostly from the shower at that point, however Jean’s sudden, aggressive touch was rapidly bringing an entirely different kind of lubrication to her sex and she found herself moaning. She grasped at the lithe body in front of her.
“I need you,” Jean repeated once more rubbing her fingers between Emma’s legs more intently as she kissed her way down the blonde’s neck. “I need,” she mumbled against Emma’ shoulder before biting down lightly, “to be inside,” she went on as she felt Emma’s hands grasping at her hips, her fingernails scraping against her rapidly heating skin. “Feel you pulling me in,” she continued her fingers slipping inside of Emma as she spoke, her fevered desire only slowing down when she meet some resistance as she pushed inside of her lover. Heart pounding she pulled her lips away from Emma’s skin enough to see the blonde’s face, terror seized Jean momentarily as she wondered at the force of her desire for this woman that she might be so unable to control her passion for her might have entered Emma before her body was ready for it. Her need to be with Emma had hit so suddenly and intensely that she could barely think. However her worries evaporated as Emma’s hips jerked against her hand and the blonde groaned before leaning forward and taking Jean’s earlobe in her mouth biting down lightly.
Emma wrapped her arm around Jean’s waist tugging her backwards until the blonde’s back connected with the shower wall. She had been in an awkward position, practically on her tip-toes with her legs spread apart to give Jean access to sex after the redhead had entered her so suddenly. Her movements to accommodate Jean’s thrusting had been automatic her arousal spiking sharply at the uncharacteristically impulsive move and she hadn’t thought about her ability to maintain the position. However as Jean’s movements intensified she knew she wouldn’t be able to maintain the position for much longer. In fact, as Jean’s thumb brushed roughly against her clit she was surprised she was able to remain standing upright. She felt her legs fall farther apart and was sure she was about to go tumbling to the ground as her hips thrust forward to meet Jean’s fingers with no concern for her personal safety, but she remained upright.
Emma’s body shook. It felt like Jean was caressing her entire body. She stretched her mind out inside of Jean’s sighing as she realized that Jean was touching her everywhere. The weight on her hips that was keeping her upright was telekinetic. The movements on her breasts as one of Jean’s hand moved between her legs and the other fondled her buttocks were telekinetic, and the other million tiny little electric touches that made her feel as if she was about to explode where all Jean as the redhead used her hands and mind to touch her everywhere.
“...do ... I do … need you …”
Emma clutched at Jean, her mouth opening silently as her eyes closed and her head tipped back, her hips thrusting forward one last time against Jean’s hand as her orgasm ripped through her, the redhead’s words echoing so constantly through her mind that she wasn’t sure who was repeating them, herself or Jean.
Emma sagged against the cool tile of the shower wall, Jean’s mental touch still strong at her waist holding her up as her entire body went limp. She was feeling nothing but bliss at that moment, any previous thoughts that had been weighing on her mind nothing but a distant memory, and she could feel Jean’s relaxed state as well through their lowered shields.
Emma smiled contentedly. “I need,” she began still smiling softly as she lifted a tired and shaky hand up to touch Jean’s cheek, “to shower with you more often.”
To be continued ...
Fandom: X-Men
Pairing: Jean Grey/Emma Frost
Rating: NC-17
Disclaimer: Don’t own them, though I do covet them.
Part 18
The next morning…
Jean stared at her reflection in the mirror. She looked like ten miles of bad road. She’d barely slept the night before, she tossed and turned plagued by nightmares she couldn’t quite remember when she shocked herself (and Ororo) awake. She gotten out of her friend’s bed then and spent the night staring at one of Ororo’s books, not really reading but not really thinking either. Just sitting there staring blankly.
She jerked slightly her head swinging to the side when she identified the noise.
Someone was knocking at the door.
“I didn’t think you’d really be in here,” Scott said as Jean opened the door to Ororo’s room brushing past her before she could get a word out. He knew that Ororo wasn’t inside, he’d seen her head down on her way to breakfast a few minutes before and when Jean wasn’t with her had seized upon the opportunity to catch his wife in a lie. Despite what she had said he was certain that she had gone to spend the night with her blonde whore.
“I told you I would be,” Jean replied finally closing the door and leaning against it as Scott stalked about Ororo’s bedroom for a moment before finally turning to face her.
“Your word doesn’t really mean a hell of a lot to me at the moment,” Scott responded unkindly staring at Jean for a moment before averting his eyes. She’d sworn to love him and obey him, in sickness and in health until death did them part, but she hadn’t kept her word then. He was still very much alive, and if you loved someone you didn’t go around fucking other people while they were in crisis.
“I never lied to you,” Jean replied her voice holding a hard edge, sounding much more like Emma than herself at that moment.
“No,” Scott admitted. He supposed Jean hadn’t lied to him outright. “You just whored around behind by back,” which is much better, much more honorable he thought to himself self-righteously.
“You were out in the wilds of America with no way to reach you,” Jean began her voice rising slightly. “That’s a hell of a lot of back!” she went on losing the battle with her own temper. “I told you what happened as soon as you decided I was important enough to acknowledge!”
“So this is my fault?” Scott asked incredulously. He couldn’t believe she was trying to turn not being able to keep her legs shut around on him. He’d been away from her as long as she’d been away from him and he had never entertained the idea of leaving her for some pretty piece of ass.
“Honestly? Yes,” Jean exclaimed. “In part,” she added realizing that she was beginning to sound unreasonable. “You left, you left for a long time Scott,” she continued forcefully calming her voice. “You didn’t just leave the door open you blew it off of its hinges, tossed in onto the front yard and then drove a bulldozer through the doorway.”
Scott glared at her. He needed time, he needed space, neither of which was the same as agreeing to give up his wife and marriage. “So I should have expected you to spread for the closest warm body the minute I left the mansion?” He asked coldly.
Jean breathed in deeply, her eyes narrowing. She squeezed her eyes tightly shut and took some more deep calming breathes. She could feel herself beginning to lose control of her temper, really lose control of her temper and she knew she couldn’t afford to do that. If she let the Phoenix force out she could take out the whole mansion in a moment of fury. She needed to calm down before responding to him.
“Are you trying to punish me?” Scott asked when Jean didn’t respond. “Is that what this is all about?” he continued completely oblivious to the struggle going on within Jean and the danger his taunting created. “I leave and you can’t get a hold of me, so you bed Emma Frost to make my life hell when I get back?”
“My god,” Jean exclaimed in exasperation, finally feeling the fire within calm, the ridiculousness of his claim giving her a bit of needed distance. “Not everything in the fucking universe revolves around you Scott! I’m not prostituting myself to her as part of some elaborate and retarded plan to make you feel bad. Jesus,” she sighed shaking her head.
“Are you going to divorce me?”
Jean looked over at him. At the moment she really couldn’t see why she had even struggled to make the decision. “Since I’m such a vindictive whore, I’m surprised you’re not jumping at the chance to get rid of me,” came her soft, disillusioned reply.
“I didn’t mean that,” Scott replied sighing a moment later. He really hadn’t. He knew Jean, he knew that she wasn’t like that. He just couldn’t … it made him so mad to think about someone else touching his Jean, his wife, to think of Jean touching someone else; especially someone like Emma Frost. It hurt. “I was lashing out.”
“I know,” Jean acknowledged lifting her hand to massage her temples. “I understand.”
“Are you going to leave me?” Scott asked again seeing Jean’s weariness and tension.
Jean looked over at him. There it was. She looked away needing a moment to compose herself. She had been with him for so long, and she had loved him. It wasn’t as if her feelings for him, their feelings for each other had been a lie. They had been in love once, her heart had once beaten faster at the sight of him, and his touch had once made her shiver.
“Do you still love me?” Scott asked, real anxiety in his voice as he looked over at his silent wife.
Jean looked up at him at the sound of his voice, automatically taking a step forward responding to the pained tone, but she stopped herself before she could move any farther. That wouldn’t help anything.
“Yes,” she said watching him from a few meters away, but she continued quickly before he could interrupt again. “But … I’m not sure it’s in the same way I once did,” she went on. “We haven’t really talked to each other for a long time Scott, and when you were in pain you didn’t share that with me. You ran away. And I’m not saying that it’s all your fault, I know that I’m culpable for my own actions,” she continued, her mind involuntarily flashing back to the first night she made love with Emma. “I just have to wonder what state our marriage had fallen into that pretty much anything was better than talking to me, then being around me. I,” and here she paused knowing that what she said would hurt him but knowing that it was unavoidable. “I’ve felt things with Emma that I haven’t felt in a long time,” she finished, leaving out the ‘or ever before’ her mind had supplied.
Scott moved stiffly over to Ororo’s bed and sat down his head almost immediately falling into his hands.
“You’re really in love with her?” He finally mumbled a minute later, his voice muffled as he looked down in his lap.
Jean released a shaky breath and leaned up against Ororo’s dresser. “I am,” she said her voice shaky as she watched his dejected figure. She looked away blinking, feeling tears in her eyes as an overwhelming wave of guilt washed over her. She never meant to hurt him, she really didn’t. She didn’t want this to happen, but she couldn’t stop it.
Scott looked up in the silence that followed Jean’s reply, looking over at his wife to see her tears in her eyes and automatically stood up. Moving on instinct he walked over to her and reached out using his thumbs to wipe away the tears that had escaped her eyes. He held her face cradled in his hands for a moment and then leaned forward pressing his lips against hers, trying to convey his love for her through the kiss.
Jean breathed in deeply at the feel of his lips surprised and not surprised by the action. She forced herself to remain still, to allow the contact since she was as curious as Scott was as to what her reaction would be. And as he deepened the kiss she got her answer: minimal.
She thought of Emma and how the blonde’s kisses lit her up inside. Just a brush of Emma’s lips against hers made her heart flutter, the smell of the blonde, the press of her body against her inflaming her and causing her breath to flutter.
She moaned slightly at the thought, and then came back to herself. Though there was once a time when the press of Scott’s lips made her knees weak and her breath hitch there was no flutter with Scott now, there was no flame.
She pulled away from his lips averting her eyes unable to meet his gaze.
Scott kept his eyes on Jean’s averted face. She couldn’t even look at him. He had been aware that she hadn’t been responding to his kiss at first, but she had moaned and leaned into him for a second and he had hoped that maybe the situation wasn’t as dire as he’d thought. But as she looked at her guilty expression a chill went through him. Whether it was through the link they shared, or simply because of the years they had spent together he could feel what Jean was feeling and he knew, he just knew no matter how much he wished he could deny it, that it wasn’t him she had been thinking about when she had responded to the kiss.
“I can’t believe this,” he said sounding shocked staggering back over to the bed and sitting down. “I just …” he looked up at her helplessly. “You’re really serious aren’t you?”
Jean bit her bottom lip and then silently moved to sit beside him.
“I’m serious.”
Scott nodded.
“There’s an empty room beside the professor’s,” he began a second later. “I’ll be there.”
Jean nodded silently. She considered telling him that it wasn’t necessary for him to move out of the room, but decided against it. Telling him that she could stay with Emma wasn’t likely to improve his mood any. Besides, she wasn’t quite sure that she was ready to move in with Emma or that Emma was ready to have her move in despite the rather significant steps forward their relationship had taken.
Scott stood up slowly, still looking slightly dazed. “I don’t think I can talk to you for a little while,” he said his back to her as he turned to face the door.
“I understand,” Jean replied softly her eyes on Scott’s tense back. She could make sure that she’d stay out of his way, it was one of the benefits of being a telepath. She’d make sure to tell Emma to try and stay out of his way as much as possible as well. If he couldn’t stand to be around her, she knew that her girlfriend would be an equally unpleasant reminder of the way things had turned out.
“I love you Jean,” Scott said his back still to her as he spoke. “I’ve never stopped loving you, no matter what I’ve done,” he continued his shoulders slumped and his voice carefully modulated, the emotion he felt being revealed by what he didn’t let show in this voice.
“I know,” Jean replied her voice barely a whisper. “I’m sorry,” she continued. “I’m so sorry, Scott, I …”
Scott held up his hand and she stopped speaking.
“I can’t take anymore of this,” he said moving towards the door. “I can’t hear anymore.”
And with that he disappeared through the door leaving Jean sitting alone on Ororo’s bed.
Part 19
Later that morning…
Jean used the key Emma had given her the day before to open the blonde’s bedroom door before closing it softly behind her. The room was dark, the only light filtering in from a small crack in the heavy curtains Emma still had pulled over her windows. She could hear the shower going and automatically made her way towards the open washroom door. Leaning against the door frame she looked into the foggy room. Despite the condensation she could make out Emma’s nude figure through the frosted glass of the large shower door.
She reached for the helm of her shirt and began to pull it over her head.
She had kept her word the night before and had not gone to Emma’s room, but she knew that she needed to speak to her lover and had contacted Emma telepathically while Ororo was in her greenhouse tending to her flowers before turning in for the night. She had been worried at first when she couldn’t reach the blonde, fearful that Emma had closed her mind down to her as she had that night in her room when she had stopped touching the blonde after seeing Scott’s picture.
She hadn’t even really realized how used to Emma’s mental presence she had become over the past few weeks until the panic she felt at not being able to reach the blonde registered with her.
She had stretched her powers as her unease grew and was then able to feel Emma by the lake at the edge of the Institute’s grounds. She called out to her and felt herself begin to worry again when Emma didn’t respond right away, but her lover eventually replied. She had given Emma a brief rundown of her interaction with Scott and her plans for staying with Ororo for the night. Emma’s responses were minimal and clipped but before contact was cut between she felt the blonde send her a rush of feeling and relaxed for the first time since Ororo had contacted her earlier that evening. She knew that Emma wasn’t pleased, but also that the blonde wasn’t really mad with her so much as with the situation. She also picked up on a sizable feeling of relief from Emma when she had mentioned spending the night with Ororo. They’d had a lot more to talk about, but she was tired and could feel Emma’s resistance to talking so she had reluctantly let the blonde go after giving her the necessary details.
Emma turned her head to the side as she heard the shower door open and spotted Jean’s lithe, nude figure in the doorway. She had been aware of the redhead’s presence since she had entered her bedroom and was aware of being watched from the doorway of the washroom but she had been rather lost in thought and so was slightly startled by Jean’s appearance in the shower.
“Hello Tiger,” Emma breathed out a moment later turning fully to face Jean as the redhead closed the shower door behind her.
“Hey, baby,” Jean replied smiling briefly before moving towards Emma holding out her hand releasing a breath she hadn’t known she was holding when Emma took her hand gently in her own and tugged her towards her body.
Jean stepped into the warmth of Emma’s body, wrapping her arms around the blonde’s waist, hugging her tightly, so relieved at the feeling of being near Emma that she didn’t particularly care that her arms kept sliding against the blonde’s slick skin making it hard to keep a tight hold on her.
“I’m sorry,” Jean whispered against Emma’s slick collarbone barely aware that she was speaking. “I’m sorry,” she repeated once again trying to draw Emma closer to her.
“For what?” Emma asked softly pulling back from Jean’s embrace a little so that she could see her lover’s face.
“For,” Jean began searching Emma’s face as she thought about what she was apologizing for and realizing that she had absolutely no idea. “I don’t know,” Jean finally said lowering her eyes and shaking her head, a dark chuckle releasing itself from her throat. “It’s been a rough ten hours.”
Emma placed her fingers under Jean’s chin and tipped the redhead’s face up so that she could see her again. She felt bad, she had been abrupt with Jean the previous night preoccupied with her own thoughts and fears and concerns. She could see now how rough the night and morning had been on Jean, but she hadn’t thought about how hard it must have been for the redhead to face her husband and confess to cheating on him when Jean had been talking to her the night before. She’d probably just added to Jean’s stress, and while her concerns about herself were relevant and always first in her mind, she knew she should have also considered Jean’s.
“I know,” Emma said gently staring at Jean for a moment before sighing softly and drawing her into another hug. She wanted to say more, to apologize for her hesitance the night before but she couldn’t force the words past her lips.
“He’s moved out of the room,” Jean mumbled a few moments later pulling back from Emma needing some space to talk about Scott. Emma released her hold on the redhead giving her the space she seemed to want.
“How do you feel about that?” Emma asked carefully keeping her voice neutral. She knew that the fact that Jean was there with her should have been answer enough, that it should have reassured her but she was still anxious as hell about the entire situation. They’d only been a couple for three days and Jean had been married to Scott for over five years. Sure she had superpowers, a scintillating wit and the best body money could buy but that kind of history was enough to make even Emma Frost feel insecure.
Jean laughed at the question the sound dark and chocked. “Sad … relieved … scared,” Jean murmured making a jerky movement as if she were going to try and close the distance between Emma and herself before stopping the motion and staying where she was. “I don’t know. I don’t think I’ve really processed it all yet. I’m just glad it’s over … the talk I mean. The rest of it …” she waved her hand vaguely. There was the rub, the ‘rest of it’. She was sure that next few days and weeks would be just as trying as the past ten hours, but at least everything was out in the open and that was something.
“You were together for a long time,” Emma responded softly slipping into therapist mode trying to view Jean’s words objectively. “It’s natural to feel some anxiety over the change in your relationship,” she continued logically. “It’s perfectly normal to feel lost and confused.”
Jean looked over at Emma as she finished speaking studying her features closely. Emma’s face was a blank mask and her eyes seemed unfocused and distant even though she was looking directly at her.
Jean took a step forward erasing the small gap that had existed between them and grasped Emma’s face in her hands. “Don’t do that.”
“What?” Emma asked vaguely avoiding her gaze.
“Don’t distance yourself from this,” Jean responded seeing the blonde retreating into herself. She knew that this was difficult for Emma, that the blonde had to be feeling somewhat uneasy about the rapid change in their situation, but she was feeling pretty goddamn uneasy herself and she couldn’t do it alone. “Don’t, I couldn’t bare it.”
Emma sighed deeply and turned her eyes to face Jean. She could hear the truth of the redhead’s words in the tone of her voice. Truthfully she hadn’t even realized that she was doing it.
“It’s an ingrained defense. Some sort of survival tactic I seem to have picked up over the years,” Emma said softly shifting uncomfortably. “I don’t really know what to say,” she sighed a moment later looking away from Jean uncomfortably.
Jean smiled at that, Emma Frost at a loss for words was rare.
“Just be honest,” Jean said finally. She didn’t expect Emma to have all the answers, she barely had any herself; she didn’t care if the blonde was confused and uncertain as long as they could be confused and uncertain together.
“I’m glad,” Emma a moment later breathing in deeply, “I’m positively exultant he’s moved out,” she went on meeting Jean’s eyes staring into them intently. “I didn’t want to have to share you even for a little while,” she continued pausing for a moment, her eyes skittering away from Jean’s for a moment before she finished. “I’ve … you’ve,” she went on frowning slightly as she stared at Jean’s shoulder keeping her eyes averted from the redhead. “I ne … ne,” Emma continued closing her eyes as she struggled to get her words out. She didn’t think that she had ever stuttered before in her entire life. “I need you,” she finally stated firmly grasping her sudden and unwanted sophomoric bout of nerves and beating them into submission. Emma Frost didn't stutter, not even if she was madly in love.
Emma’s body was stiff and Jean could see the tension in her muscles and hear the strain in the blonde’s voice. Jean lifted her hand to Emma’s face, feeling her jaw twitch slightly at the contact and nudged Emma’s head towards her so that she could see her eyes.
“You have me,” Jean said softly unconsciously echoing the words she had said to Emma the first morning they woke up in each others arms. Emma stared at her for a long probing moment and then Jean felt the blonde’s mental touch caressing her shields and lowered them further to admit Emma. She was glad for the contact, Emma had been fairly closed off to her since Scott had returned and not knowing what the blonde was feeling put her on edge. She knew that Emma was worried and anxious about the situation and that she was keeping her mental distance in part because she feared if she got a glimpse of Jean’s thoughts that she would find that despite what Jean had told her that once she saw Scott again that her old feelings for him would come back and Jean would leave her.
She held back nothing from Emma knowing that the other woman would interpret any subterfuge on her part in the worst way possible. Her emotions when it came to Scott were still confused, shame mixing with pangs of old affection, guilt, relief, the desire to comfort him, bewilderment at the change in her feelings upon seeing him again, regret and a swirl of other emotions she couldn’t even begin to identify residing within her. It made her slightly uncomfortable to show all of that to Emma and she might have worried about what the other woman’s reaction to her feelings would have been if she wasn’t certain about her feelings for the blonde. Even though to think about how it had come about and how it had developed so quickly sometimes bowled her over, she did love Emma and she knew that the blonde would feel that too, and that it would eclipse any feelings of turmoil she had about Scott.
A few moments later Jean felt Emma’s probing stop. The blonde remained in her mind but her presence was no longer searching. Jean watched as pale eyelids closed over lavender eyes and Emma’s chest fell as she released a deep breath. When Emma’s eyes opened again Jean could see relief and resting her hand on the blonde’s shoulder could feel her body begin to relax once more.
Jean stepped into Emma’s body wrapping her arms around her lover drawing her into her body, sighing as she felt Emma’s body practically folded around her. She kissed the blonde’s neck tenderly as her hands stroked her back soaking in the feel of Emma’s body against her own. And then when Emma pulled back from the embrace slightly Jean surged forward her lips pressing against Emma’s forcefully and intently and she poured everything she felt for blonde into it trying to convey to Emma physically all of the emotions she had sought to show Emma moments before. She felt so much for Emma and her desire for the blonde began to pound against her, battering her emotional defenses like a tidal wave as she kissed her lover.
“I need you too,” Jean whispered nipping at Emma’s cheek as her hands began to roam Emma’s body in earnest. “I need you too,” she said again her hands sliding over the firm round globes of Emma’s ass before squeezed them fervently, Jean’s eyelids fluttering a moment later when she heard Emma gasp as her hand moved from the blonde’s ass to slip between her legs.
“Jean,” Emma gasped as the redhead’s fingers slipped between the moistening folds of her sex. She was wet though it was mostly from the shower at that point, however Jean’s sudden, aggressive touch was rapidly bringing an entirely different kind of lubrication to her sex and she found herself moaning. She grasped at the lithe body in front of her.
“I need you,” Jean repeated once more rubbing her fingers between Emma’s legs more intently as she kissed her way down the blonde’s neck. “I need,” she mumbled against Emma’ shoulder before biting down lightly, “to be inside,” she went on as she felt Emma’s hands grasping at her hips, her fingernails scraping against her rapidly heating skin. “Feel you pulling me in,” she continued her fingers slipping inside of Emma as she spoke, her fevered desire only slowing down when she meet some resistance as she pushed inside of her lover. Heart pounding she pulled her lips away from Emma’s skin enough to see the blonde’s face, terror seized Jean momentarily as she wondered at the force of her desire for this woman that she might be so unable to control her passion for her might have entered Emma before her body was ready for it. Her need to be with Emma had hit so suddenly and intensely that she could barely think. However her worries evaporated as Emma’s hips jerked against her hand and the blonde groaned before leaning forward and taking Jean’s earlobe in her mouth biting down lightly.
Emma wrapped her arm around Jean’s waist tugging her backwards until the blonde’s back connected with the shower wall. She had been in an awkward position, practically on her tip-toes with her legs spread apart to give Jean access to sex after the redhead had entered her so suddenly. Her movements to accommodate Jean’s thrusting had been automatic her arousal spiking sharply at the uncharacteristically impulsive move and she hadn’t thought about her ability to maintain the position. However as Jean’s movements intensified she knew she wouldn’t be able to maintain the position for much longer. In fact, as Jean’s thumb brushed roughly against her clit she was surprised she was able to remain standing upright. She felt her legs fall farther apart and was sure she was about to go tumbling to the ground as her hips thrust forward to meet Jean’s fingers with no concern for her personal safety, but she remained upright.
Emma’s body shook. It felt like Jean was caressing her entire body. She stretched her mind out inside of Jean’s sighing as she realized that Jean was touching her everywhere. The weight on her hips that was keeping her upright was telekinetic. The movements on her breasts as one of Jean’s hand moved between her legs and the other fondled her buttocks were telekinetic, and the other million tiny little electric touches that made her feel as if she was about to explode where all Jean as the redhead used her hands and mind to touch her everywhere.
“...do ... I do … need you …”
Emma clutched at Jean, her mouth opening silently as her eyes closed and her head tipped back, her hips thrusting forward one last time against Jean’s hand as her orgasm ripped through her, the redhead’s words echoing so constantly through her mind that she wasn’t sure who was repeating them, herself or Jean.
Emma sagged against the cool tile of the shower wall, Jean’s mental touch still strong at her waist holding her up as her entire body went limp. She was feeling nothing but bliss at that moment, any previous thoughts that had been weighing on her mind nothing but a distant memory, and she could feel Jean’s relaxed state as well through their lowered shields.
Emma smiled contentedly. “I need,” she began still smiling softly as she lifted a tired and shaky hand up to touch Jean’s cheek, “to shower with you more often.”
To be continued ...
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Date: 2006-06-26 01:14 pm (UTC)Amazing.
And after reading it over again (once, twice, maybe more?) it just reinforces that there's no reason to have any sympathy for Scott. Sure, he's a guy, expected to be dense, and Emma has the power of telepathy on her side, but the dude's been married to Jean for how many years and can't figure out his wife needs and Emma's only been around for a few months and has got it nearly down pat?
Pathetic. He shouldn't never have been married, inflicting his dimwitted self on an unsuspecting female.