fembuck: (queenblair)
[personal profile] fembuck
Title: Here We Go
Author: Janine
Fandom:
Gossip Girl
Pairing: Serena/Blair
Rating: PG
Disclaimer: I don’t own them.
Summary: Sequel to Audrey Can Wait

---

Waldorf Brownstone

Serena groaned as her eyes cracked open and she was assaulted by natural light of the sun streaming in through the bedroom window. Scrunching up her face she recoiled from the light, only to find herself colliding with Blair’s body when she tried to snuggle back down into the bedding.

“You’re adorable in the morning,” Blair said laughingly as she stared down at Serena’s rumpled form. The blonde was resplendent even sleep tussled and crotchety. “If you want to slam your hand down on the alarm clock it’s on your side of the bed.”

Serena made an incoherent grumbling sound in her throat though Blair thought she could make out the words “entirely” and “too chipper”, before the blonde curled into her and tried to go back to sleep.

“It’s Monday,” Blair said smiling as Serena hugged her body, her hand moving to the blonde’s head to pet her hair. “We have school.”

“I hate school,” Serena muttered, though the fact that she was speaking in full sentences let Blair know that she was well on her way to being fully conscious. “It always happens so early,” Serena complained sleepily.

“You need to get up,” Blair said stroking Serena’s cheek lightly, a smile still playing across her lips. Even though she was whiney, Serena was obscenely cute when she first woke up. “You need to go home and get a uniform.”

“I’ll just wear one of yours,” Serena mumbled. “We used to swap clothes all the time.”

“Yeah, you kind of had a growth spurt,” Blair responded smiling before her face took on a more serious expression. “I’ve decided I only like your exhibitionist tendencies in my bedroom and slash or bathroom. Panty flashing the whole school is not hot.”

“Is that right?” Serena asked almost fully awake now, rolling back onto the pillow so that she could look up at Blair’s face, a bright smile on her lips as she looked at the brunette. The internet would have disagreed with Blair on that one.

“That’s right,” Blair confirmed nodding her head seriously, although she was certain that Serena panty flashing her and her alone would have been quite hot.

“So I have to get up and go home?” Serena asked pouting adorably. She really didn’t want to do anything but curl herself around Blair again and go back to sleep. Or maybe curl herself around Blair again and make-out. That had been fun.

Blair nodded. “I suppose I could keep you company on the ride over,” she added a moment later smiling softly.

“So sweet,” Serena responded wrapping her arms around Blair’s waist and hugging her tightly. “It’s why you’re my favorite.”

“That’s my line,” Blair replied giggling as Serena nuzzled her neck playfully.

“It’s both of our lines. It can be our thing,” Serena replied pulling back from Blair so that she could look down at her, her heart contracting powerfully as she took in Blair’s happy and relaxed expression, and her pale skin which seemed to glow against the dark material of her nightgown as she gazed up at the blonde.

“Kiss me,” Blair said staring up at Serena.

“Always and as often as I can,” Serena replied before leaning down, pressing her lips against Blair’s softly.

---

Later that day

“S!” Dan called slowing down his jog coming to a stop in front of Serena, bracing his hands on her thighs for a second before looking over at her. “And I can’t actually believe I just called you that, but there we have it,” Dan said smiling and shaking his head a bit. “So uh, that thing that we said we would do, I was wondering if maybe you’d like to do it tomorrow tonight,” Dan went on looking at Serena hopefully.

After what he’d seen the afternoon of the photo shoot he couldn’t really fault Serena for having canceled their date to spend time with Blair, but he did hope to actually be able to go on a date with her … sometime … without disaster striking.

“You’re talking about the movie, right?” Serena asked smiling mischievously at Dan’s somewhat awkward wording.

“Yeah,” Dan said clearing his throat before nodding. “Yeah, the phrasing was somewhat ambiguous I’ll admit, but I was talking about the movie.”

Serena shifted her weight and ducked her head down before looking over at him with an apologetic smile.

“That smile makes me apprehensive,” Dan said trying to keep his tone light though he really was apprehensive. Something bad always happened when he saw that look on Serena’s face.

“No, it shouldn’t,” Serena said quickly placing her hand on his shoulder and squeezing reassuringly. “Really, it’s not bad … not really,” she went on taking her hand back forcing herself to meet his eyes. “It’s just that … could we just go as friends?” she asked her voice rising hopefully. “I know we’ve kind of been,” she made a little uncertain motion with her hand, “but I think … it’s just with Eric, and my mom, and everything with Blair, not to mention everything with me that a year at boarding school was not enough to fix … I don’t know, I don’t think I should really …”

“I get it,” Dan said holding up his hands. “You’ve got a lot on your plate,” he continued nodding slowly. “It’s cool, I understand. Being friends is fine with me,” he said smiling wishing that he had never walked over to her.

Friends was going to be awkward and was doomed to failure, he was sure of it.

“We should, you know, still catch that flick … sometime,” he went on hating himself more and more as every word emerged from his mouth. He didn’t understand why he was still talking. There was no reason that he should still be talking. “You should invite Blair.”

And then they could talk about make-up, and Zac Efron and all of the cute boys at school that Serena wouldn’t date because she had issues. It would be so much fun! He had never hated himself so much.

“Really?” Serena asked happily. “That would be so great,” she went on leaning over and hugging him quickly. “Blair likes you, you know. It’s sometimes hard to tell, but she does. It’ll be great. Same place tomorrow night?”

“Yeah,” Dan said forcing a smile onto his face. How did he get himself into these situations? Seven o’clock.”

“Perfect, we’ll be there,” Serena said grinning, her eyes drifting away from Dan over his shoulder once she finished speaking. “I gotta …” she said trailing off, nodding her head in the direction she had been looking.

“Yeah, yeah of course,” Dan replied. “See you tomorrow night.”

Dan watched her walk off towards … Blair. Of course it was Blair. It was always Blair he thought dropping his head down and sighing.

Maybe it was a good thing they weren’t going to end up dating. After all of the drama he had already gone through with Serena just trying to get a date, he was convinced that actually dating her would probably have killed him.

---

“The world is a cruel and unjust place,” Serena whispered as she pulled alongside Blair, her hand resting lightly on the brunette’s elbow.

“How’s that?” Blair asked a bit frostily, careful to keep her voice down as well knowing that Isabel and Kati were trailing only a few paces behind her.

“Because I can’t kiss you and I totally want to right now,” Serena said picking up on Blair’s tone but ignoring it for the moment.

“If you catch up to Pork and Cheese I’m sure you could kiss him,” Blair replied looking over at Serena for the first time.

Serena recognized the look in Blair’s eyes. It was jealousy. Blair had probably seen her talking with Dan and seen her hug him and misconstrued what was going on.

She wished that she could be pissed at Blair for suspecting her, but she knew that Blair had precedent on her side.

“Excuse us for just a minute,” Serena said at regular volume turning around and smiling at Isabel and Kati before grasping Blair’s arm and pulling her a good distance away near some neatly trimmed shrubbery where they could sit down.

“I told him we can’t see each other,” Serena said not wasting any time once she and Blair were seated on the bench.

“Why did you hug him?” Blair asked looking out into the courtyard that joined the boys and girl’s schools, watching the uniformed students scuttle around.

“He was just really cool about it,” Serena said softly. “Most guys would’ve been assholes about being dumped before they’d even gone on a first date,” she continued looking over at Blair wishing she could take her hand but stopping herself for some reason.

A day before she would never have hesitated to hold Blair’s hand, but a lot of things had changed in twenty-four hours.

“He invited us to the movies.”

“Us?” Blair asked looking over at Serena, her tone less guarded as she began to relax.

“Well, I mean he doesn’t know there’s an ‘us’,” she said gesturing between herself and Blair, “but yeah, you and me … all three of us, tomorrow night at the Sunshine.”

Blair sighed heavily. She really didn’t want Serena anywhere near Dan.

“It’s just one night,” Serena said giving in and reaching over for Blair’s hand, holding it securely in her own as she smiled over at the brunette, flashing her most winsome smile. “After the ‘let’s be friends’ talk, there’s always that one obligatory outing to prove there’s no hard feelings, and then you never talk to each other again.”

“Fine,” Blair said grudgingly though her lips curled up slightly as she fought a smile.

“I’ll hold your hand under my jacket,” Serena said grinning knowing that she had won Blair over. “It’ll be romantic.”

Blair stopped pretending she was mad at that and grinned over at Serena.

“You’re right the world is a cruel and unjust place,” Blair said softly. She really wanted to kiss Serena but there were too many people still milling around, and she could see Isabel and Kati watching them in the distance.

“Come to the Palace,” Serena said squeezing Blair’s hand. “My mom has a fundraiser or something tonight. We’ll have the place to ourselves.”

“I promised Isabel and Kati we’d get mannies and petties,” Blair said regretfully wishing she could ditch the other two girls but knowing that it would cause more trouble than it was worth if she did.

“Come over after,” Serena said. “I’ll go visit Eric when you’re getting your nails done. Lily won’t be leaving until seven anyway, so it works out perfectly.”

“Okay,” Blair said smiling, her eyes lighting up as she looked at Serena. “We should head back.”

“Yeah,” Serena said holding Blair’s hands and eyes for a second more before letting them go, trailing after Blair as she led the way back to their waiting friends.

---

The Palace Penthouse

“Your mom hates me,” Blair moaned flopping down onto the couch in the living area as Serena headed into the kitchenette.

“She doesn’t hate you,” Serena called out to Blair as she removed two glasses from the cabinet. She was going to pour them some water, but she thought that maybe Blair would appreciate wine more in her current state.

“Yes, she does,” Blair called back. “She’s still mad about the Ostroff thing,” she continued recalling the look Lily van der Woodsen had given her before sweeping out of the Penthouse. “She used to love me, now she thinks I’m the devil incarnate.”

“Devilishly charming, maybe,” Serena responded walking back into the room with one glass of red and one glass of water. “She doesn’t hate you, she just doesn’t understand. She’ll get over it once you start coming around again,” Serena went on handing the wine glass to Blair.

“All hail the complimentary bar,” Blair toasted holding her wine glass up.

Serena smirked and clinked her glass against Blair’s.

It was only then that the brunette noticed that Serena wasn’t drinking wine as well.

“What’s that?” Blair asked softly. She hadn’t really thought about it, but she didn’t think that she had seen Serena take a drink since she had gotten back.

“Water,” Serena replied knowing that Blair was already aware of what it was. “New leaf and all that,” she continued a moment later smiling a little bit. “I was in Connecticut for more than boarding school,” she went on somberly, tracing the edge of her water glass with her finger.

“How long has it been since you had a drink?” Blair asked softly putting her own glass down on the table untouched.

“Today will be 249 days,” Serena responded glancing over at Blair. “It should be almost a year, but I relapsed a little bit at the beginning.”

“Did Lily make you g …” Blair started to ask but Serena began to shake her head halfway through the question.

“No,” Serena interjected. “She had any idea how bad it had gotten,” she continued letting out a dark laugh. “I hadn’t realized how bad it had gotten until that night,” she said pausing. She knew she didn’t need to elaborate, they both knew what night she was talking about.

She glanced over at Blair to gage her reaction but looked away again unable to look at the brunette while taking about this subject.

“That was kind of rock bottom for me,” she went on staring down at her glass.

Blair reached out and took Serena’s hand in her own but was otherwise quiet after the blonde spoke.

Serena had been spinning out of control before she left. She had seen it and she had tried to help, but nothing she said or did seemed to make a difference. She had been so scared that Serena was going to do something stupid and that she would lose her. She had no idea how right she was, though she couldn’t have predicted what actually happened.

Even though she hadn’t been in a space to admit it, she had been relieved to see that Serena seemed to regain her equilibrium when she appeared again as mysteriously as she had disappeared. Even when she was trying not to she had still cared.

“This shouldn’t be here,” Blair said finally, breaking the silence that had descended between them, her eyes on her wine glass.

She let go of Serena’s hand and picked up the glass then stalked into the kitchen. A few moments later Serena heard cabinets banging and got off of the couch to see what Blair was up to.

“What are you doing?” Serena asked noticing the now empty wine glass sitting by the sink while Blair opened and closed a few more cabinets before going to the one that housed the complimentary bar.

“Your …” Blair began sounding flustered as she turned to face Serena. “I can’t believe your mother is keeping alcohol around here! Is she insane? I’m dumping it. Is there anymore?”

“Just what’s in there,” Serena said indicating the bar, a small smile playing on her lips.

“It’s not funny,” Blair said frowning at Serena before opening the cabinet, taking out a few bottles and walking them over to the sink.

Spying the contents inside, Serena was pretty sure that Blair was about to dump about a couple hundred dollars worth of alcohol down the drain.

“Someone should call children’s services.”

Serena smiled widely at that, touched by Blair’s concern. Blair had commented on her tendency to drink to excess before she had left for Connecticut, but she had brushed off her comments and concerns with a laugh and smile telling Blair and herself that she was just having a good time. And she had had a good time, until she hadn’t.

“She doesn’t know,” Serena said leaning against the counter as Blair continued to pour the contents of the bar down the drain. “It was my decision to leave and I enrolled in the program on my own once I got down there. And when I got back, with everything that was going on with Eric I figured it was just best to just not mention it. I mean, who knows where she’d hide me away.”

You should have gotten rid of it then,” Blair said turning around to look at Serena before moving to dump another bottle. “You know you shouldn’t have this stuff around you. What if you …”

“I haven’t,” Serena replied pushing off of the counter and moving over to Blair. “Blair,” she said softly, moving behind the brunette. “Blair stop,” she continued her voice just as quiet as she wrapped her arms around Blair hugging her from behind. “It’s okay, I’m okay, just slow down,” she said resting her head against Blair’s shoulder. “I’ll help you,” she continued softly, her hand covering Blair’s.

“I like your new leaf,” Blair said quietly from within the circle of Serena’s arms. “You’re still you, but without …”

“The drunken whoring,” Serena supplied sighing softly.

“I wouldn’t have put it that way,” Blair responded turning around in the circle of Serena’s arms so that she was facing her. They both knew that meant that Serena’s words had been a pretty accurate assessment of what Blair was going to say.

“Besides, it’s not just that. It’s like … before you were … you were like lightening,” Blair continued a few seconds later, her fingers tracing up and down Serena’s forearms. “You were like this bright, energetic flash of light, exciting, overwhelming and beautiful. But then you’d just … flitter off, disappear, and everything would be dark again. Trying to hold on to you was like trying to hold on to that flash. Even when I was with you I felt like you were moving away,” Blair went on quietly. “You’re more solid now, stabile. I like that.”

“I didn’t know,” Serena said softly, her head hanging down. She knew that there had always been a frantic, restless energy surging within her, but she didn’t realize that it was so perceptible to Blair. Especially since Blair was the one person who had been able to focus her and calm her.

“I’m happy for you,” Blair said looking up at Serena. “I’m proud of you. I don’t want you to … relapse.”

Serena nodded and then leaned down and pressed her lips against Blair’s.

“I don’t want to either,” she said earnestly. “I want you to be able to trust me. To be able to count on me,” she continued blinking rapidly against the tears forming in her eyes. “You’ve always been so important to me, and I know I fucked up back then. But I swear I’ve changed, and I’m going to … I’m going to keep working at it. I promise. I won’t ever hurt you like that again.”

Blair pressed herself against Serena, wrapping her arms around her back, hugging her tightly.

“I know,” she whispered into Serena’s chest. “I know.”

---

“What is the largest South American country by area?” Blair repeated from her spot on the couch, her head resting in Serena’s lap as she stared at the television. “I can’t believe he’s pausing. Is he really going to copy the … it’s Brazil! Has this idiot ever seen a map?”

Serena smiled widely as she looked down at Blair. Not only was the brunette very cute when she was getting far too involved in a game show, but she was also much, much smarter than a fifth grader, and most adults it seemed.

“I’m scared for the future of humanity,” Blair declared tearing her eyes away from the television to look up at Serena. “What so funny?” Blair asked seeing Serena grinning.

“Nothing’s funny,” Serena responded still smiling. “You’re just really, really awesome that’s all.”

“You’re a modern day Casanova, you know that,” Blair commented shaking her head though a few seconds later she dissolved into a grin.

“Everyone’s a critic,” Serena grumbled good-naturedly. “Okay, I’m sorry. How about this … Nothing’s funny, it’s just ‘love thee, as I love the calm of sweet, star-lighted hours! I love thee, as I love the balm of early jes'mine flowers.’” Serena went on, her voice adopting a faux English accent as she quoted Eliza Acton. Finally English class gave something back to her.

“Much better,” Blair declared smiling as Serena finished her recitation. “You may kiss me now.”

“How kind of you madam,” Serena said rolling her eyes, though she very happily leaned down and kissed Blair’s lips.

They kissed for a few moments and then Blair shifted, sitting up on the couch before moving to straddle Serena’s waist.

The other position was killing her neck.

“Much better,” the brunette declared a second later and leaned forward capturing Serena’s lips again, sighing into Serena’s mouth as the blonde’s hands slipped under her shirt allowing her fingers to run up and down along the skin of her back.

“Ignore it,” Serena said against Blair’s lips as the brunette’s cell phone began to ring. “Mm, no, ignore it,” she murmured again, still kissing Blair though she could feel the brunette shifting away from her to reach for her purse. “I don’t believe this,” Serena muttered a few seconds later when Blair pulled away from her lips to remove her phone from her purse.

Serena pouted as Blair looked down at the display on her phone, her brows furrowing for a second before she placed the phone on the coffee table in front of the couch and turned back to Serena.

“Who was it?” Serena asked still pouting, wondering how dared to take Blair’s lips away from her.

“Nate,” Blair responded softly.

“Oh,” Serena replied. In the whirlwind of the past forty-eight hours she had almost forgotten about Nate. “What’d he want?”

“I don’t know,” Blair sighed climbing off of Serena to sit on the couch beside her. “I didn’t pick up.”

“Right,” Serena responded. She had actually been there for that. “So,” she began her voice trailing off as she looked over at Blair.

“I’ve hardly seen him in the last two weeks. We’ve practically broken up already,” Blair replied in answer to Serena’s silent question, pleased by how very little she felt at the revelation. “I’ll talk to him tomorrow, make it official.”

“Okay,” Serena said softly, holding Blair’s gaze. “Good,” she said a little louder, reaching out for Blair. “Thank god,” she sighed before pressing her lips against Blair’s moving her body to cover the brunette’s, forcing Blair to lie down on the couch so that she could drape her body over Blair’s.

“Stay over tonight?” Serena asked when the need for air made her pull back from Blair’s lips.

Blair smiled and arched up to meet Serena’s lips again.

She thought she’d never ask.

---

Waldorf Brownstone - Tuesday Night

“I can’t believe I let you talk me into this,” Blair complained lightly as she stood in front of her mirror posing.

“You look great,” Serena responded checking her watch, they were going to be late if they didn’t leave in the next couple of minutes … which just might have been Blair’s plan. “It’ll be relatively painless, I promise,” she continued kissing Blair’s cheek before reaching for her hand. “Come on.”

“Fine,” Blair sighed allowing herself to be dragged by her hand, pouting into her mirror one last time before beginning to walk under her own power as they exited her room.

---

“The subway?” Blair asked in a high whine as she saw where Serena was leading her.

“If someone had gotten dressed faster we could have taken a cab, but the traffic going in that direction in going to be crazy right now,” Serena responded taking Blair by hand again.

“This night just keeps getting better and better,” Blair muttered gingerly following Serena down the steps to the subway. “If anyone tries to rape or mug me I’m pushing you in front of me.”

“That’s my girl,” Serena replied laughing. “You know I can run faster than you right?” she asked a second later wiggling her eyebrow at Blair.

“You suck,” Blair declared sticking her tongue out Serena before laughing. “Fine, I’ll pepper spray them and you can kick them in the crotch.”

“Aw, you always know just what to say,” Serena cooed before their voices were lost to rush of a newly arriving train.

---

“Hey, Humphrey,” Serena said smiling, hugging him quickly when they arrived.

Blair nodded in his direction, offering a faint smile that was off of her face almost the moment it appeared before she began looking at the people entering the theatre around them and made a face.

Serena nudged her.

“I like your jacket,” Blair said with absolutely no feeling, turning her attention to Dan, “It brings out your eyes.”

“Ah, thanks Blair,” Dan said glancing over at Serena and biting down on his bottom lip before gesturing towards the theatre doors. “Well, shall we?”

“What are we watching anyway?” Blair asked as entered the cinema.

“Ah, ‘Sleuth’,” Dan responded running a hand through his hair.

Blair rolled her eyes. If she wasn’t there he totally would have taken Serena to see “Lust, Caution”. Boys were so predictable, even the geeky supposedly noble ones.

“Awesome,” Blair replied in that sickeningly sweet way that made people know that she absolutely couldn’t give a shit.

She was going to make Serena buy her Junior Mints from the concession stand.

---

Blair paused, a Junior Mint resting on her bottom lip, when she felt Serena’s hand slip into hers and the blonde’s jacket fall over their joined hands. Moving the mint from by her mouth she turned to look at Serena and smiled, squeezing the blonde’s hand.

Maybe the night wouldn’t be a complete waste of time.

---

In a way, Dan had to admire how Serena was handling the situation. Blair clearly hadn’t wanted to come to the movie but had been coerced into it somehow, and yet despite her antics when they first met up the brunette had been relatively well behaved since then.

Also, in addition to keeping Blair civil, Serena had also been quite expertly diverting her attention between the screen, himself and Blair for the entire movie, managing to carry on a dialogue with Blair about the name designers being worn in the film while following the plot, and listening to him give her trivia information like the fact that Michael Caine had played the actor in the 1972 film.

It seemed Serena was a pretty good multi-tasker, which amused and impressed Dan.

Noticing something interesting on screen Dan turned to the side to speak to Serena. He’d felt her shift a few moments before and thought that she had finished talking to Blair and was catching up with what was on screen. However, as he turned to face her he saw Blair smiling at Serena before the brunette lifted her hand to feed the blonde a Junior Mint. For her part, Serena nipped at Blair’s fingers playfully and then accepted the candy from Blair’s fingers as if it was the most natural thing in the world.

‘Okay,’ Dan thought turning around and focusing on the screen again before either of them noticed that he had been watching them. Girls were different than boys, it was probably nothing. They were ‘besties’ as Serena liked to put it. Girl besties probably hand fed each other all the time when they weren’t braiding each others hair and reading their horoscopes. He was probably just being male and reading something sexy into it that wasn’t there.

He decided to give her a moment to finish her mint and then he leaned over and whispered the comment to her that he had wanted to make before. Serena leaned closer to him unable to hear what he was saying and he repeated the comment, his eyes roaming over her neck and down her neckline as he spoke, which was when he noticed that her body was oddly contorted.

Shifting his gaze slightly as Serena whispered something back to him he noticed that her arm was still pointed towards Blair, which was strange. Looking more closely while trying to act like he was listening to what Serena was saying, he realized that she was sitting funny because her hand was under her jacket which was hanging over the arm rest between her chair and Blair’s.

Dan leaned back in his seat and focused his eyes on the screen again, but his attention wasn’t on the movie any more. He thought … it really looked like … were they holding hands?

---

Dan shook hands with Blair and briefly hugged Serena, happy for the night to be over so that he could go home and be weirded out and kind of titillated by what he had seen between Serena and Blair in private.

“We’ll have to do it again some time,” Serena said smiling brightly at him.

“Yeah, definitely,” Dan said actually agreeing with Blair for once as the brunette rolled her eyes.

“See you later, Humphrey.”

And with that they headed off down the street.

Dan knew he should turn and start his own trip home, but for some reason he found himself watching them as they walked away. As they neared the end of the block he saw Blair’s hand move to the small of Serena’s back and come to a stop, resting there as the brunette leaned into Serena’s body while they waited for the light to change.

‘Hmph,’ Dan thought shaking his head, their strangely intimate display spurring him into motion, his legs carrying him in the opposite direction to the girls.

It seemed it really was always Blair when it came to Serena.

---

Waldorf Brownstone

Serena sat on Blair’s bed, her back against the headboard watching as the brunette brushed her hair out in front of her mirror. She had watched Blair go through this routine every time she had slept over in the past – which was quite often – yet she was as captivated by it as ever, possibly more so that night.

In front of the mirror, scrubbed clean, pale skin glowing in the faint light of the room as she rhythmically brushed her hair until it was shining Blair looked like a doll. She looked so much younger than she did during the day, and peaceful in a way that she never was when other people were around. The perfection of her features was highlighted in repose and Serena wanted to go over and hug her and just never let her go.

It scared her sometimes, how much she coveted Blair. It sometimes made her feel like some sort of mythological monster, doomed to eternally consume Blair’s smell, and touch and taste over and over again for eternity to satisfy some broken part of herself.

“I talked to Nate,” Blair said startling Serena out of her thoughts.

“How did it go?” Serena asked blinking leaning forward and crossing her legs.

“Fine,” Blair said finally putting her brush down and turning around on her cushioned stool so that she was facing Serena. “He was surprised, but he accepted it without questioning me too much,” she continued allowing her eyes to drift around the room as she spoke, frowning as she did.

Serena knew there was a very large part of Blair that had wanted Nate to fight for her. That she wanted him to yell and rage and demand to know what was going on and what had changed. Maybe even for him to have grabbed her and kissed her to try and show her what she would be missing if she actually broke up with him.

For Blair, his easy acceptance of the dissolution of their relationship was crueler than any name calling or yelling would have been because it confirmed to her that there really hadn’t been a relationship to speak of, or least not for quite some time.

“How are you doing?” Serena asked careful to keep her voice neutral.

“I’m fine,” Blair said standing up and walking over towards the bed, pushing on Serena’s shoulder softly when she reached the edge to get the blonde to move over a bit. “I mean it’s weird. We’ve been together since kindergarten. I’m not really sad it’s just kind of like losing my pinky toe or something. I don’t really need it, but it’s always been there before so not having it is kind of strange,” she continued as climbed onto the bed and turned on her side to face Serena.

“What appendage would I be?” Serena asked settling down opposite Blair so that they were lying parallel to each other.

Blair smiled at the question and blushed before lowering her eyes to consider her bed sheet. “Something important,” Blair responded softly. “Something vital,” she continued her fingers brushing over the soft sheet. “My pancreas maybe,” she went on lifting her eyes again to look over at Serena to see her smiling softly. “Or a kidney,” she continued as Serena made an ‘ouch’ face and placed her hand against her chest, “or my heart.”

Serena leaned over at that and kissed Blair softly, her arm working its way around the brunette’s waist as she did.

“Do you ever wish you could freeze a moment and live in it forever?” Serena breathed out against Blair’s lips before leaning in to kiss her again. “I feel like that right now,” she continued leaning back against the pillows her body humming with energy. “I wish I could just snap my fingers and everything would stop. And in that endless moment I would dedicate the rest of my life to becoming a Blairologist, and we’d run through the frozen streets breaking into houses and stores scavenging for food and clothes like it was the end of world. And then we’d come back here, to your room, and watch old movies and fall asleep in each others arms every night.”

Blair shifted over, closing the centimeters of distance between herself and Serena and lay her head on Serena’s chest, her arms wrapping around the blonde holding her tightly. “You’re weird,” Blair murmured her voice full of affection. “Tiffany’s could be like my office.”

Serena smiled.

“I’d bring you Monet’s and Renoir’s for your birthday, and we could lay on a bed of Jacobs, Johnson, Renfrew and McQueen originals and kiss on the runways in Bryant Park,” Serena added happily, stretching her toes out, pointing them towards the door like a ballerina before relaxing into the mattress again.

Blair sighed happily, but then was seized suddenly by the thought that things could not always be this perfect.

She hugged Serena to her tightly, clinging to her.

Blair lifted her had and looked up at Serena. She needed to hear Serena say that she …

“I love you,” Serena said softly, looking into Blair’s eyes, her hand lifting so that her fingers could trail over the brunette’s cheek.

Blair smiled brightly, the terror that had seized her moments before fading at Serena’s words and she leaned down and pressed her mouth to Serena’s, kissing her deeply.

“Everything’s going to be okay,” Blair said softly, panting as she pulled way from Serena’s lips.

“Of course everything’s going to be okay,” Serena said smiling. “We’re together, how could it not be?”

Blair rested her head back down on Serena’s chest, her eyes closing as her breathing slowed to match the gentle rise and fall of Serena’s chest.

Serena was right. Together they could face anything.

The End

Date: 2007-10-20 12:38 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] gespawcho.livejournal.com
Oooh! I'm first. I haven't actually finished reading though. But I love the first two sentences.

Date: 2007-10-20 12:54 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] sinandmisery.livejournal.com
*new ficage squee* I haven't actually finished reading it, either, but I know it's going to be a while before I can so I just wanted to post the <3 for having something new to read *runs off to finish cooking dinner*

Date: 2007-10-20 03:15 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] sinandmisery.livejournal.com
OKAY...so now that I've had a chance to read...SO MUCH LOVE! I don't even know where to begin. So many great lines!

Serena waking up in the morning = exactly me. I love how Serena was the grumpy one and Blair was hyper/awake, because (in the books) after sex, Blair got hyper, so I can see her being like that in the mornings, too.

Dan's voice = made of win.

Also, I love jealous!Blair and also Blair's protest of the subway.

Ahhh, I loved it all.

Date: 2007-10-21 09:10 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] fembuck.livejournal.com
*grin*

I'm glad that you enjoyed it!

Serena waking up in the morning = exactly me.

lol, me too. I'm sooo not a morning person, but I've been told that it can be kind of charming ;)

Blair was hyper/awake, because (in the books) after sex, Blair got hyper

Ah, good to know. I think it's going to be a while on the series before we see Blair post-coital so *files information away*

Dan's voice = made of win.

I found Dan extremely easy to write. He's probably the character that's closest to my personality actually. I really like him on the show as well, Penn has this affiable charm to him that I really like. If Waldsen didn't own my heart I could've gotten behind D/S or even D/B

Also, I love jealous!Blair and also Blair's protest of the subway.

I love Blair's possessiveness of Serena. It's hot and romantic. And you know Blair is convinced the subway is full of mole people because she's never been down there and would have been happy to have never gone down there ever!

Date: 2007-10-20 01:11 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] gespawcho.livejournal.com
Oh my God. Well, you've killed me, so deal with it.

That was just sublime!

And here are some of my favorite things: Blair seeing how adorable S. is upon waking. Yeah, wouldn't we all like to see that.

Dan manfully accepting that his girl is another girl's girl.

Girls were different than boys, it was probably nothing. They were ‘besties’ as Serena liked to put it. Girl besties probably hand fed each other all the time when they weren’t braiding each others hair and reading their horoscopes. He was probably just being male and reading something sexy into it that wasn’t there.

That like had me rolling. Classic.

And when I got back, with everything that was going on with Eric I figured it was just best to just not mention it. I mean, who knows where she’d hide me away.”

That line made me laugh too.

I also like the theory of why Serena left.

And, I looooved Blair going all Prohibition era USA on Serena and her mom. She would be the absolute most dogged advocate Serena could have in that situation.

Date: 2007-10-21 09:13 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] fembuck.livejournal.com
That was just sublime!

*Janine's dance of joy*

Dan manfully accepting that his girl is another girl's girl.

lol, yeah, Dan's pretty cool. I could totally see him like becoming Serena's normal 'girlfriend' after this. He seems to get sucked into her drama even when he doesn't want to, and lord knows she could use advice from a level head ever now and then.

I looooved Blair going all Prohibition era USA on Serena and her mom. She would be the absolute most dogged advocate Serena could have in that situation.

I'm glad that seemed to fit. It seemed a really Blair way to react to something threatening her girl, lol

Date: 2007-10-22 02:00 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] gespawcho.livejournal.com
*Janine's dance of joy*

That sounds entertaining :)

Dan's pretty cool. I could totally see him like becoming Serena's normal 'girlfriend' after this.

He is a cool guy.

He seems to get sucked into her drama even when he doesn't want to, and lord knows she could use advice from a level head ever now and then.

Can you imagine taking advice from any of the people S. has around her? Blair would probably refer her to The Art of War or The Prince and Lily would be like, "Perhaps the Ostoff clinic could help? Don't forget your suitcase- I mean, purse!"

I'm glad that seemed to fit. It seemed a really Blair way to react to something threatening her girl, lol

It totally fit! And it made my heart flutter geekily! Blair is totally of the opinion that nobody can mess with S unless it's her!



Date: 2007-10-23 12:18 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] fembuck.livejournal.com
That sounds entertaining :)

Oh it is! Well, entertaining for others and embarrassing for me. But, well, when joy overcomes one, one must dance!

He is a cool guy.

Yeah, I enjoy him and his ramblings.

Can you imagine taking advice from any of the people S. has around her? Blair would probably refer her to The Art of War or The Prince and Lily would be like, "Perhaps the Ostoff clinic could help? Don't forget your suitcase- I mean, purse!"

LOL! I love the idea of B recommending The Art of War, or maybe The Prince as a solution to like any crisis. And you totally know that Lily would send her off to the Ostroff center for like having a cold. Oh, horrible but amusing people S surrounds herself with. You're so horrible but amusing!

Blair is totally of the opinion that nobody can mess with S unless it's her!

That's totally Blair's reasoning in a nutshell. If that ain't love I don't know what is!

Date: 2007-10-23 12:33 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] gespawcho.livejournal.com
Oh it is! Well, entertaining for others and embarrassing for me. But, well, when joy overcomes one, one must dance!

I have one of those too. And, word! Sometimes you've just got to groove cause there's no other way.

LOL! I love the idea of B recommending The Art of War, or maybe The Prince as a solution to like any crisis. And you totally know that Lily would send her off to the Ostroff center for like having a cold. Oh, horrible but amusing people S surrounds herself with. You're so horrible but amusing!

Blair was like the only high schooler in history to have enjoyed Macchiavelii. Or Sun Tzu.

And you totally know that Lily would send her off to the Ostroff center for like having a cold.

Moms. They're really wonderful. And they all have a flaw. Mine just handed me a newspaper with an article about the drug-resistant super staph bug that's going around. She tells me every time I come over, "Are you washing your hands?"

Of course, Lily's equivalent would be like, - well, who am I kidding. Lily isn't giving out any borderline paranoid parenting advice. She's like, "If you feel like the last drink might make you sloppy, give it to someone else.

That's totally Blair's reasoning in a nutshell. If that ain't love I don't know what is!

Agreed. She does love her S. Oh, I want to write some fanfic right now.
Or read it? How's the sequel to the sequel progressing?








Date: 2007-10-20 01:55 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] theclosetalker.livejournal.com
I'm so happy to see a sequel! I love the universe you've created in these two fics.

Blair and Serena waking up together was all kinds of adorable. I loved how they had to begrudgingly be on their best behavior at school, and I really like your Dan voice here. It was an amusing twist to have him end up as the third wheel on a Waldsen date - the bit where he realized they were secretly holding hands was perfect.

And what a great explanation of why Serena left - for Blair. She realized all the partying was getting out of hand when she hurt the one person she never would've sober.

Date: 2007-10-21 09:17 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] fembuck.livejournal.com
I love the universe you've created in these two fics.

*smile* Thanks, I'm glad that you enjoyed it, and that even though its veering away from canon that it still seems to flow with what's been established.

I loved how they had to begrudgingly be on their best behavior at school

The world truly is a cruel and unjust place!

I really like your Dan voice here. It was an amusing twist to have him end up as the third wheel on a Waldsen date - the bit where he realized they were secretly holding hands was perfect.

I like Dan, and personality wise he's probably the closest to me so it was easy to write him, and I totally couldn't see him being a jerk about it. Disappointed yes, but he's a cool guy. And funny.

She realized all the partying was getting out of hand when she hurt the one person she never would've sober.

Yes! Hurting Blair (or maybe Eric) is like the only thing I could see snapping Serena alert to realize what she'd been acting like. I imagine that morning after with Nate being like the worst memory of her life, lol

Date: 2007-10-20 02:52 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] kosmos8.livejournal.com
Yay! Sequel!

I liked this follow up. Seconding the comment above about liking the Dan voice. Poor guy. I actually felt bad for him.

Blairologist

I like this idea.

Date: 2007-10-21 09:19 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] fembuck.livejournal.com
*grin* Thanks, I'm glad you enjoyed it!

Seconding the comment above about liking the Dan voice. Poor guy. I actually felt bad for him.

I like Dan, he's so hapless and lovable. It's just too bad for him his dream girl is totally gay for her BFF, lol. I felt kind of bad for him to, but the Waldsen cannot be denied :D

I like this idea.

I kind of feel like that's what I am now with how obsessed I am with Blair, and Serena and the show, lol

Date: 2007-10-20 04:29 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] queer-eulogy.livejournal.com
Absolutely adored this! It was like one big, great ball of cuteness. The waking up together, cruel and unjust world, jealous Blair, secret hand holding, clueless Dan, then aware Dan. The "or my heart line" and finally facing anything.

You totally win for making me squee, swoon, giggle, and smile this much all in one night. :D

Date: 2007-10-21 09:20 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] fembuck.livejournal.com
Absolutely adored this! It was like one big, great ball of cuteness.

Aw, thanks! I'm glad you enjoyed it :D

Date: 2007-10-20 04:48 am (UTC)
novak_fan: (blair bear)
From: [personal profile] novak_fan
Sequel,yes!! *happy dance*

I LOVE Dan here, I think that you have him really , really good. I almost could see his expressions wherever he was talking or thinking. Good work!

And Waldsen *sigh* so adorable. Like I have said so many times before, I can't really chose for the life of me which one of them I love more on the show and/or on your fics. Here I love how charming and gentlemanly Serena can be and Blair is so cute all jealous and kind of possessive around S. <3

Also I liked a lot details like this:

Serena added happily, stretching her toes out, pointing them towards the door like a ballerina before relaxing into the mattress again.

Awesome work, I'm SO happy that you keep writing for this fandom and also that you're making it kind of a series. Thanks for sharing the obsession ;)

Date: 2007-10-21 09:23 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] fembuck.livejournal.com
I LOVE Dan here, I think that you have him really , really good. I almost could see his expressions wherever he was talking or thinking. Good work!

Aw, thanks! I found Dan really easy to write actually, we've got pretty similar personalities. Plus, I really love Penn's portrayal of Dan, he's established the character really well so it was easy to literally see in my head how he would deliver the lines and stuff. Go Penn!

Here I love how charming and gentlemanly Serena can be and Blair is so cute all jealous and kind of possessive around S.

I know! And I love that I didn't even have to make that dynamic up, they just ARE. *swoons at memory of Serena gallantly stepping between that Yuppie douchebag and Blair*

Oh Waldsen!

Thanks for sharing the obsession ;)

Oh, you know I couldn't help myself. It's so nice to have people to share it with!

Date: 2007-10-23 01:48 am (UTC)
novak_fan: (Bleighton hug)
From: [personal profile] novak_fan
I found Dan really easy to write actually, we've got pretty similar personalities

LoL yeah, Dan is cool(= Janine is coolest) and I totally can see him being that way if Serena and Blair could finally face the fact that they are SO gay for each other (on the show of course) He'd be dissapointed but not at all mad or grossed out, he'd even been like Serena's ear and a shoulder to cry over her relationship with Blair.
After all for what I had read he have sexual issues himself on the book, he's bicurious so he could totally understand. Hey, maybe you can use that on your series ;)

I can't wait for the next update btw :)

Date: 2007-10-20 05:41 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] jeepy91.livejournal.com
I think you have a nice setup for a series going here. Cause Dan isn't THAT dumb, he has to know what's going on, at least an inkling. So sequel to a sequel perhaps? ;)

I really love this little verse within the GG maintext that you've created. It feels so real, and flows so smoothly that one would be hard pressed to not be able to easily envision any of these 'scenes' from taking place on the show itself. Brava, as always.

And extra bonus brownie points for slipping the ILY in there. I always am a sucker for those three words in fic. lol

Date: 2007-10-21 09:26 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] fembuck.livejournal.com
So sequel to a sequel perhaps? ;)

That's the plan actually! It's shaping up to be longer than these two pieces though so I'm not sure when I'll be done.

It feels so real, and flows so smoothly that one would be hard pressed to not be able to easily envision any of these 'scenes' from taking place on the show itself.

*gets teary eyed* Thanks. That's a huge compliment. I always hope that everything is in character and that my stories seem like a natural extension of what's on screen so ... *holds hand over heart*

extra bonus brownie points for slipping the ILY in there. I always am a sucker for those three words in fic.

With these two how could you not. They are so awesomely and adorably in love with each other. *swoons*

Date: 2007-10-20 06:18 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] murasaki1200.livejournal.com
This is cuter than cuddling kittens and baby bunnies. Srsly. Jealous!Blair and multitasking!Serena especially.

And my favorite:
“I’ll just wear one of yours,” Serena mumbled. “We used to swap clothes all the time.”

“Yeah, you kind of had a growth spurt,”


So unfair. Talk about a cruel and unjust world where Serena can't even wear her gf's clothes. lol!





Date: 2007-10-21 09:28 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] fembuck.livejournal.com
Jealous!Blair and multitasking!Serena especially.

Jealous!Blair is the sex. And getting to hold hands with Blair would force anyone to kick it up to their A game. Motivation bb, motivation!


So unfair. Talk about a cruel and unjust world where Serena can't even wear her gf's clothes.

I know! That's the entire point of lesbianism isn't it?!? lol. Oh well, I guess she'll just have to settle for getting Blair out of her clothes a lot. Somehow I think that'll more than make up for the injustice ;)

Date: 2007-10-23 02:54 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] murasaki1200.livejournal.com
Oh well, I guess she'll just have to settle for getting Blair out of her clothes a lot.

Simple and elegant solution to this dilemna for the ages. no clothes = no problem. I like it. Now we just need someone to chronicle the events :D.

Date: 2007-10-20 06:41 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] crimsonwhisper.livejournal.com
<3 i have so many floaty hearts for you and this fic right now.

Date: 2007-10-21 09:28 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] fembuck.livejournal.com
Floaty hearts? Awesome! *catches them and cuddles them*

Thanks for responding, I'm glad that you enjoyed the story :D

Date: 2007-10-20 01:27 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] anohara.livejournal.com
yay for sequels!

Date: 2007-10-21 09:29 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] fembuck.livejournal.com
lol, thanks for responding. I'm glad that you liked it ;)

Date: 2007-10-20 02:43 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] pictureplaces.livejournal.com
aaaaaaaaaaw i love it :D i hope there will be another chapter in the near future *crosses fingers* :) it was so cute and corny at times but corny in the way that made it perfect and great and *is content*

Date: 2007-10-21 09:31 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] fembuck.livejournal.com
Thanks for responding, I'm glad that you enjoyed it!

i hope there will be another chapter in the near future *crosses fingers* :)

That's the plan, I've already started writing it actually. I'm just having trouble envisioning how it should end right now *grabs head and sobs* But either way, another story in this timeline is coming :D

Date: 2007-10-20 10:39 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] heartscream.livejournal.com
I loved Audrey Can Wait, and I think I love this one just as much. You write Serena and Blair so perfectly. Their playfulness, jealousy and possessiveness is just so SPOT ON. Woot for sequels!

Date: 2007-10-21 09:33 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] fembuck.livejournal.com
Thanks so much for responding! I'm glad that you enjoyed it :D

Their playfulness, jealousy and possessiveness is just so SPOT ON.

*smiles* I'm glad that this came through and it was fun flowed well instead of being disjointed. I find the show has such a great, fun, lively (hmm, maybe that pun was intended) atmosphere so I'm glad it came across in the fic :D

Date: 2007-10-21 08:39 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] memorylapses.livejournal.com
that was amazing! you've got the characters down!
please, I'm begging you to write more Blair/Serena fics.

Date: 2007-10-21 09:34 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] fembuck.livejournal.com
Aw, thanks so much. I'm glad that you enjoyed it.

And they're definitely be more Blair/Serena's stories from me. I'm completely obsessed with the pairing right now (and hopefully for as long as GG is on the air)

*hugs Waldsen*

Date: 2007-10-21 08:45 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] clairels.livejournal.com
Aww the first part is so cute, the cuddle thing-I just love that! And sleepy Serena is adorable =)

l just wear one of yours,” Serena mumbled. “We used to swap clothes all the time.”
“Yeah, you kind of had a growth spurt,”


Lol that just made me laugh.

Blair pressed herself against Serena, wrapping her arms around her back, hugging her tightly.
“I know,” she whispered into Serena’s chest. “I know.”


Love this part.

I would dedicate the rest of my life to becoming a Blairologist

Blairologist. That's cute =)

I love the fact that they kiss all the time, and how they can't stop touching each other.

Good chapter, hope there will be more soon ;)

Date: 2007-10-21 09:37 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] fembuck.livejournal.com
Thanks so much for responding! I'm glad that you enjoyed the story :D Thanks for the detailed feedback as well, it's always nice to know what people liked about the story (and whether or not the lines I think are funny actually are, lol)

I love the fact that they kiss all the time, and how they can't stop touching each other.

How tactile they are with each other is totally cute and sexy. Seriously, they are love.

hope there will be more soon

lol, I'll see what I can do!

ff.net

Date: 2007-10-22 01:12 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] mash62.livejournal.com
Hey, I absolutely love your Blair/Serena stories. I was wondering if you were going to post them on fanfiction.net? Please PLEASE keep writing! lol.

Re: ff.net

Date: 2007-10-23 12:13 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] fembuck.livejournal.com
Thanks for writing! I'm glad that you're enjoying the Waldsen frenzy I've been on, lol.

I actually just posted all of my Waldsen stories to fanfiction.net (I'm a procrastinator so it takes me a while to get them up there, but they're up now!)

And as long as Gossip Girl keeps on being totally awesome, I'll be tuning out Waldsen fic, don't you worry :D
(deleted comment)

Date: 2007-10-23 12:15 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] fembuck.livejournal.com
Thanks for writing, I'm glad you've been enjoying the stories. I'm totally in love with this pairing right now, so I'm glad others share the obsession ;)

Also for some reason I find your icon amusing.

lol! Probably because it's true! Blair so totally rules the world :D *swoons at the thought of Blair* If only I was fashionable enough to be one of her minions *sigh*

Date: 2007-10-22 08:55 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] withoutyoursmil.livejournal.com
This was perfect! I absolutely LOVED it.

Date: 2007-10-23 12:15 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] fembuck.livejournal.com
Aw, thanks so much! I'm glad you enjoyed it :D

Date: 2008-03-18 03:37 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] gespawcho.livejournal.com
hey, considering the dearth of new GG fics, I've been re-reading this and I just wanted to let you know how much i've been enjoying it. Your take on their relationship was always fresh and entertaining.

Date: 2009-04-10 11:43 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] dariclone.livejournal.com
Aww, those two are so sweet!

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