Angelina Jolie makes my pants happy ...

[fembuck]

This post is gonna pose as a review of WANTED, but mostly it's going to be gushing about Angelina Jolie and her irresistible brand of tough-sexy that ... makes the pants happy.

So, I'll start off by saying that I was curious how they were going to adapt the movie, since I've read the comic book and EVERYONE in that was an UNRELENTING asshole, and often times also repugnant, deviant, fuckheads, that the scum of the earth would shun (that being said, the comic is interesting and worth a read ... it's just not a particularly pleasant).  It turns out they did a very good job taking the premise of the comic and making it palpable to the general population (I was actually able to root for Wesley and Fox in the movie, unlike in the comic where they were like the least compromising bathroom stall that you don't really want to go into, but fuck at least its better than the other one).

Now, it is well known that I have a long standing love of James McAvoy.  I have been a fan ever since I saw him as Leto III in Children of Dune (I even watched the god-awful movie, The Pool, because he was in it - not only that I bought it *hangs head in shame*).  I am so pleased that he's getting more attention now, and that he remains just as awesome as he was the first time I saw him.  He's very, very good in this, both the action scenes and the more emotional scenes.  I mean, lot's of actors could pull of the running through buildings shooting guns thing, but not many can pull off a subtle scene like the one where Wesley lays down the lay to Janice and then like 5 seconds later be completely badass, and then about a minute after that be like the cutest, geekiest boy in school that you totally want to date.

What time is it?  Angelina squee time!  *sigh*  I've missed you badass Angie, don't stay away from this long next time.  To get it over with first and foremost ... yes, she's really really skinny in this.  Yes, I would like to see ten more pounds on her.  Moving on ...

Nobody can do fucking fierce like Angie, nobody (you heard me Tyra!  You heard me!).  All she had to do was just stand there and Fox was the coolest thing in the room.  There were also lots of little smirking moments that slayed me with the sexy.  The scene in the red car when she pulls up to the stop light, and then smirks at those guys staring at the car was pure sex.  Likewise, the scene where Wesley wakes up and is trying to leave the mill, and he's all like "Don't touch me!" and she's just standing there staring at him and smiling like "What?", and then the cute little shoulder shift to the side ... *dies of the sexy cuteness*  Also, pretty much every scene on top of the trains was pure sex (not to mention the whole sequence from the grocery store to Wesley waking up in the mill).

But, to get away from Angie's hotness for a moment, I REALLY REALLY like what they did with Fox in this.  It seems strange to talk about an assassin like this, but there was something oddly pure about her that I liked.  She really believed in the code, and what they were doing.  And even though it sucks if they actually do a WANTED 2, I liked how her storyline wrapped up because it was true to the character, and it allowed her to keep the principles which separated her from the rest of them.

Oh, how I wish there was another significant non-annoying female character in this movie to ship Fox with, because she is schmoopy personified in an Angelina Jolie shaped shell.

Next, Morgan Freeman is The Man.  Seriously, he got two of the best lines of the film.  Also, I always have to say that i just love Morgan Freeman in general because he looks almost exactly like my dad only with whiter (more afro-licious) hair.

Other thoughts, I liked that they didn't try to turn this into a freaking love story (and that going along with that they didn't have Fox giving Wesley sex lessons like in the comic).  Common has a nice speaking voice (from what I could hear from the 3 lines he had).  Oh, hai Marc Warren it was nice to see you for the 6 seconds you were on screen.  Thomas Kretschmann remains sexy. 

And I think I've rambled on enough.

So, in conclusion ... if you like things that are good, go see it!

Comments

[sinandmisery.livejournal.com]

i can't even express in words how much Ange rocked in this movie. I'll just say I agree with every point you made and if there was one character that I'd give myself freely and willing to...Fox would be it. LOL

[fembuck.livejournal.com]

i can't even express in words how much Ange rocked in this movie.

I know! I'm reduced to incoherent guttural sounds when I think about her in this movie.

if there was one character that I'd give myself freely and willing to...Fox would be it.

Oh I know! It's like Fox is sexy and badass, and has a great fashion sense, but you could totally also snuggle with her, and she'd take you to the tops of buildings or riding the tops of trains on dates so that you could see all of the beautiful lights of the city.

*dreamy sigh*

Oh, Fox.

[sinandmisery.livejournal.com]

Okay I just thought about this after making my "if there was one character..." statement. And of course I was like "okay, what about Starbuck? What about Faith?"

So then, of course, my mind is thinking Fox/Starbuck or Fox/Faith or Fox/Starbuck/Faith because that would be the threesome to end all threesomes [Fox/Starbuck/Faith/Natalie!Six as an epic moresome?].

But then of course, Faith makes me think Eliza which makes me think Dollhouse which makes me think...Echo as a member of The Fraternity. Y/Y?

[fembuck.livejournal.com]

Okay I just thought about this after making my "if there was one character..." statement.

Don't worry, there was a hyperbole allowance, lol. I know there are way too many hot chicks out there to schoompify just one.

[Fox/Starbuck/Faith/Natalie!Six as an epic moresome?].

My eyes (and certain other parts of me) would totally love to see a Fox/Natalie/Faith threesome (oh, wounded, badass hot chicks you make me sing the ovary electric) - you can keep Starbuck *dodges tomatoes and other rotten produce*

which makes me think...Echo as a member of The Fraternity. Y/Y?

Yes! You know, I almost mentioned Dollhouse in my original post. Fox really made me think of Adelle's comments about the dolls being the truest souls among us. There was something oddly pure about Fox, that made me think of Olivia Williams sexy monologue.

*sigh* I need Dollhouse like now

[sinandmisery.livejournal.com]

Fox/Natalie/Faith *really* needs to be written. Even if it is so full of crack that your brain might explode. Could explode from other things too.

I totally won't throw stuff for the non-Starbuck love since you DO love Sarah.

I think the most awesome thing about Dollhouse is there's no such thing as OOC and any x-over would work because they can be *anyone*. The amount of fic ideas this presents to me is unlimited.

[trancer21.livejournal.com]

Ha! I saw this today and had the same reaction. It was *teh* awesome! Everything I want in a summer movie! I was just as excited about it being directed by Timur Bekmambetov, who did the Night/Daywatch movies, as I was that Angie was in it. The man *knows* how to direct action movies unlike *way* too many of his American counterparts who should never direct another movie again but keep getting jobs anyway. I'm looking at *you* Brett Ratner!!

I don't have the same love for McAvoy that, pretty much, everyone else does. But I thought he, and the movie, did a great job in portraying him as office drone turned assassin. Unlike, say The Matrix in trying to have me believe that fucking Neo was more badass than Trinity.

I liked that they didn't try to turn this into a freaking love story...

Yes! Thank you! And, having not read the comic, thank god they left out the sex lessons. Had they tagged on a love story, it would have changed the entire focus of the main plot. Plus, I'm pretty certain that in a fraternal order of assassins, relationships looked down upon.

All she had to do was just stand there and Fox was the coolest thing in the room.

I'm chalking it up to a director knowing how to use AJ's 'presence' to enhance the character instead of it being a distraction. The woman has screen charisma out the ying-yang.

Now, can I bitch about the ending? Yes, it was something that *had* to happen, I understand that. Still doesn't mean it makes sense. They just found out that Sloane was *fabricating* assassination orders. He then proceeds to pull out a file of orders with all the assassins names on it. Why does no one think 'hey, if he's smart enough to fabricate *those* orders, maybe he's lying about these?'. I mean, seriously, if it were me, I'd want the actual slice of the loom and a magnifying glass.

Second, it was a cause and effect thing. If Sloane wasn't lying, their names were coming up *not* because they were evil themselves but because they'd become 'agents of evil'. Kill Sloane and the scales become balanced again.

..how I wish there was another significant non-annoying female character in this movie to ship Fox with..

Seriously, with all the nameless Red Shirts in that textile mill, there should have been at least *one* other female assassin. C'mon guys, show some imagination here. It's what you're getting paid for.

[fembuck.livejournal.com]

Everything I want in a summer movie!

I know! This is what the summer blockbuster is about. I wanted to be entertained and it entertained me! Job well done.

I was just as excited about it being directed by Timur Bekmambetov, who did the Night/Daywatch movies

I waffle back and forth about how much I like Nightwatch and Daywatch, but the visual style for both movies was AMAZING, and I always want to buy them on DVD when I see them because they LOOK so damn good.

So, yeah, he was an amazing choice of director for this. That shot of Mr. X flying through the window at the beginning was unreal. I was like "yeah, this is gonna be freaking sweet" when I saw that.

Unlike, say The Matrix in trying to have me believe that fucking Neo was more badass than Trinity.

Heh. So true.

Plus, I'm pretty certain that in a fraternal order of assassins, relationships looked down upon.

So true. I liked sense of brotherhood (for lack of a better word, cause seriously, was Fox like the ONLY female in the fraternity. Couldn't Gunsmith or like the rat dude have been a chick? COME ON!) among the Fraternity, and that Fox was 'one of the boys'. The sex lessons, Fox's power is screwing and being sexy aspect of the comic bugged me endlessly. Not to mention her constant "ghetto" speak. *sighs* I'm definitely happy with the changes they made to her character.

Why does no one think 'hey, if he's smart enough to fabricate *those* orders, maybe he's lying about these?'.

Yeah, I know. That's the first thing I thought when he pulled out the ledger too. I let it go though, because I figure they did it the way they did for time (showing everyone pouring over the piece of cloth that supposedly had their name on it would have been a bit anti-climactic).

Also, if Sloan had been like "your fancy weapons, your fancy cars, the authority to go where you please, when you please, and to rid the earth of scum with impunity requires money. I get the money to do what we need to do. So unless you want to go back to working in an office, eating other people's shit day in and day out for the rest of your lives ... kill this motherfucker right here." Common's Gunsmith's "Fuck the code" answer would have stayed and Fox would have still down what she did.

If Sloane wasn't lying, their names were coming up *not* because they were evil themselves but because they'd become 'agents of evil'. Kill Sloane and the scales become balanced again.

True. And I think everyone in the room would have been happy with that reasoning except for Fox. Fox was a die hard and I think she still would have done what she did because of her belief in the loom. *dreamy sigh* Oh, Fox.

there should have been at least *one* other female assassin. C'mon guys, show some imagination here. It's what you're getting paid for.

For serious! Fandom has been crazy lately, but it brought the Bechdel test (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dykes_to_Watch_Out_For#Contributions_to_popular_culture) into my world for the first time, and I realized that this movie would totally FAIL. But still, I loved it so I don't care.

[trancer21.livejournal.com]

..and I realized that this movie would totally FAIL.

It only fails if you *don't* think of McAvoy's character as a woman, which I totally did (which helps to ease way too many of the 'modern man as pussy' tropes). Didn't help that McAvoy had some of the *reddest* lips I've seen on a man outside of 'Velvet Goldmine'.

I'm definitely happy with the changes they made to her character.

Lol, I haven't read the comic and *I'm* happy with the changes. It's like a Frank Miller adaptation in reverse!

Gunsmith's "Fuck the code" answer would have stayed and Fox would have still down what she did.

Yeah, I just think it was an overly simplistic answer to a complicated question the movie just didn't want to answer. Plus, I'm selfish, and wanted a 'Fox shoots the shit out of everybody' sequence like we got with McAvoy.

Oh, and I've decided to fanwank that Fox has a metal plate in her head from an assassination attempt gone horribly wrong. So when she took her 'Circle of Death' shot, she made sure the bullet hit her on the correct/plated side. Totally not dead. Nope, can't make me believe it!

[fembuck.livejournal.com]

It only fails if you *don't* think of McAvoy's character as a woman, which I totally did

I was just reading about how the movie would have been much more effective if Wesley had been a minority (whether it be a woman, a racial or ethnic minority, gay, etc.) instead of it being another story of a white man's angst.

Lol, I haven't read the comic and *I'm* happy with the changes. It's like a Frank Miller adaptation in reverse!

So true. They actually cut the gay bit out of the comic as well, but I can't really be pissed about that either, since it was about a ruthless killer paying to pros to do each other while he watched (and talked about how he wasn't gay, but just liked to branch out every once in a while) before the pros got shot to hell by other ruthless killers trying to kill the killer.

Totally a Frank Miller adaptation in reverse situation going on.

Truthfully, I can't think of a change they made for the movie that I didn't like (I found the characters in the comic, really, really horribly despicable and probably would have stopped reading after the "Wesley goes on a raping and murdering" rampage section if I hadn't paid cash money for it).

Oh, and I've decided to fanwank that Fox has a metal plate in her head from an assassination attempt gone horribly wrong.

Dude, how much would I love that. As much as I liked the movie, I'm not sold on a sequel without Jolie (unless they cast one hell of another female lead ... and that lady is gonna have some very sexy shoes to fill).

Actually, this is the one thing I would have kept from the comic (Fox lives at the end of the comic).

Me want more sexy!sweet Ange kicking ass *sobs*
Didn't help that McAvoy had some of the *reddest* lips I've seen on a man outside of 'Velvet Goldmine'.

LOL. This makes me smile because right now, I think McAvoy is totally emerging as the shorter man's Christian Bale (with 50% more ginger)

[geekycanadian86.livejournal.com]

I so need to see this now. Yes, this weekend.

Happy Canada Day! Grab the 2-4 and meet me at the campsite!

[fembuck.livejournal.com]

You do. See it as soon as possible. It is awesome. And Jolie is at her smoking-est!

Happy Canada Day!

[mystiq-wolfe.livejournal.com]

loved the movie so far best action film of the summer, so far. enjoyed the twist about the assasin cross and why they lied to Wesley. Would love to slash Fox with someone for IDF on July 19. How about a Wanted/History of Violence xover. Angie/Maria Bella would look great together.