The Hollows: A Post of Irritation (And More Than A Little Insanity)

[fembuck]

Okay, I'm sorry to do this to you all.  But I'm going freaking insane and I cannot control it for any longer.  I have reached my limit.  My limit, 'tis reached.  WWBC is killing me.  Kim Harrison (who shall henceforth only be referred to as Cock Block - or possibly Cock Block McGee - by me) is killing me.  *grabs hair and tugs and pulls*

I CAN'T TAKE IT ANYMORE!  I've been patient.  We all have.  We have all been patient.  Six books is fucking patient.  But I CANNOT TAKE IT ANYMORE.  I'm like having actual physical symptoms due to the intense irritation and hateration (love you, Mary J!) Book 7 is inspiring in me.  

Now, I'm pretty sure that if you've read Book 7, you probably know the scene I got to, promptly threw my hands up in the air and was like all: 



Yes, it is the scene where Rachel goes up to the belfry to get her demon book or whatever and Mr. I'm Fucking Irrelevant and Exist Only to Cock-Block volunteers to help her go look for it, because god forbid Rachel climb some stairs and carry a BOOK on her own. 

You know what happens in this scene, and I knew it was coming.  Really, I did.  We all knew it was coming the moment Mr. I'm Fucking Irrelevant and Exist Only to Cock-Block was invited to dinner, and we really knew it was coming when Robbie and Mr. I'm Fucking Irrelevant and Exist Only to Cock-Block got their bromance on over Alice's cobbler pie or whatever.  But even knowing that it was coming, I was not at all prepared for the reality of it ... or my reaction to it coming to pass.  It was just so much more horrible than ever before this time. 

I mean, Rachel/Crap for Brains ... aiight, whatevs.  I actually liked Nick in the first and second book, and found him constantly being referred to as Crap for Brains in the fourth book hilarious.  I dealt with it.  Rachel/Kisten ... Kisten was an alright dude, Ivy liked him, and he was a not so secret Ravy shipper.  Dude, also kept pressing for a threesome, which, you gotta respect.  If I was him, I'd try to bang Ivy again while dating Rachel too.  In fact I'd just watch them.  So Kisten, I could deal with.  I could probably even deal with Rachel/Mr. I'm Fucking Irrelevant and Exist Only to Cock-Block (if I skipped all of their scenes together, which I have been anyway, so HA!).  But I accidentally spoiled myself for what's gonna happen with Ivy and ...



Seriously, Cock Block.  WHY?  WHY ARE YOU DOING THIS TO ME?  I'M A GOOD PERSON!  I PAY MY TAXES!  I LIKE PUPPIES AND KITTENS AND BROWN PAPER PACKAGES ALL TIED WITH STRING!  SO, WHY DO YOU HATE ME?!?!?!?!

*hyperventilates*  *breathes into a paper bag*  

I cannot pick up this book without my stomach clenching and a wave of exhaustion washing over me.  I just want to hide under a blanket and sleep until Cock Block makes the pain go away.  I literally have not been able to open the book in days!

Me: What the fuck is it with you?  What don't you fucking understand? You got any fucking idea about, hey, it's fucking distracting having Ivy hooking up with a dude when she's head over heels in love with Rachel!  What don't you get about it?

Cock Block: Some nutball said he wanted Ivy to hook up with a guy.

Me: Ohhhhh, goooood for you. And how was it? I hope it was fucking good for nutball, because everyone else is pissed off, aren't they?  You are trashing my femslash!

Cock Block: Janine, I was only...

Me: You've done it one too many fucking times, and I ain't picking up another book unless there's Ravy. I'm fucking serious. You're a nice chick. You're a nice chick, but that don't fucking cut it when you've been fucking cock-blocking Ravy action for seven fucking books.  Seriously, you and I, we are fucking done professionally.

Seriously, it's like:


SHIT'S ABOUT TO GO DOWN, BITCHES!

And ... I feel better now.

Once, again, I apologize for this bout of insanity, but I needed to get that off of my chest.

Comments

[onlyjustwhisper.livejournal.com]

Wow. I seriously don't blame you for going insane! I totally would have too. (I haven't read the books - are they any good? You know, up until this bit?)

[fembuck.livejournal.com]

Yes, the series was good until this point (and honestly, the writing is not bad at this point, I just can't take it anymore).

It's a well-written series, with well developed characters and an interesting universe. And I fucking love the character of Ivy. Really, I've been quite obsessed with the series, and recommending it to everyone for like two months.

The will they/won't they relationship in the series has just become the end of me though. I can't take the constant cock-blockage anymore.

That being said, I would still recommend the series, I would just warn you that eventually you too may implode ... like I have today ;)

[ex-stanleyt.livejournal.com]

Yike! I don't know if I even dare make a smartass comment here! *ducks and runs*

[fembuck.livejournal.com]

You can always make a smartass comment here. This is where smartass comments live! I didn't mean to be scary. That rant was just building for a while, and it came off a little more 'I paint clowns and like fire' than I intended ;)

Please, smartass comment away :D

[onlyjustwhisper.livejournal.com]

I've been reading your posts about it and so I was getting more interested - just have had so little time to go out and get books, or even order them online. I will probably get hold of the first one, though, as soon as possible.
And I'm kind of relieved I know about this development - it means I'll be less likely to implode when I get around to reading Book 7 ;)

(Can't wait to read the next chapter of The Edge, btw :D)

[fembuck.livejournal.com]

and i was wondering when the first rants would be posted. exactly my thoughts after finishing the book last week.

Oh, thank god I'm not alone! I was beginning to feel like a delicate little flower who can't deal with bright colours and loud noises. Most of the reviews I've read were pretty positive, so I went into the book and read the first 5 chapters with a rather optimistic feeling. Which quickly died. I don't need instant gratification, but I'd like SOME gratification, and I don't think there's any gratification to be had at the end of this journey.

If one of the brave souls that continues to read the series tells me that Rachel and Ivy get together after the ninth book (or however long the series is going to end up being, I can't keep up with Cock Block's book shenanigans), then I will go back and read the rest of the series. But I'm not putting myself through this for constant disappointment anymore.

*whimpers at the idea of actually having to finish Book 7, because I paid cash money for it dammit!*

[trancer21.livejournal.com]

Ha! That HSM gif just never.gets.old!

Man, this is making me regret plunking down 20 bucks for the book and not sticking with my .pdf copy. *sigh* I guess I could always get a refund.

Everyone's been so 'tight-lipped' about book 7 and I was afraid I was going to have to trawl through the amazon.com forums for some spoilers.

But yeah, it's like I said in my reply to you, I'm tired of being marginalized and it's time for me to spend my 'pink dollars' on something a little more fulfilling. Or, you know, save my money and write Rachel/Ivy porn!

[fembuck.livejournal.com]

I'd definitely say, check it out. I LOVED the first five books (actually, I hated book three, but books 1, 2, 4, and 5 were great!)

And I'm kind of relieved I know about this development - it means I'll be less likely to implode when I get around to reading Book 7 ;)

lol, you may not. I seem to be the only one imploding over Book 7. In fact, I think that most have enjoyed it, so it's entirely possible that you will make it to Book 7 and beyond without imploding ... and may never implode!

Can't wait to read the next chapter of The Edge, btw :D

Thanks! Charlie's in for a rough night ;)

[fembuck.livejournal.com]

Man, this is making me regret plunking down 20 bucks for the book and not sticking with my .pdf copy.

Dude, I feel the same way. Having spent cash money on it is the only thing that's making me want to finish it, but like in a spiteful way.

Everyone's been so 'tight-lipped' about book 7 and I was afraid I was going to have to trawl through the amazon.com forums for some spoilers.

I'd heard vague positives about Book 7 after it came out, and I read the first five chapters in advance, and enjoyed them for the most part. But the spoiler I mentioned in my other comment to you was just too much for me to handle.

I'm tired of being marginalized and it's time for me to spend my 'pink dollars' on something a little more fulfilling.

This.

You should totally read, "The World Unseen" if you haven't yet. I read that book in one sitting. So good. No pandering to an audience that you don't intend to satisfy. Just really riveting and poetic and beautiful. There's stuff in there that wasn't in the movie, or is expanded upon, so it's new enough that you won't be bored if you saw the film (plus there's the added bonus of being able to picture Lisa Ray while you read ;)

Or, you know, save my money and write Rachel/Ivy porn!

This. Although I'm so mad I can't even write Ravy right now. I'm sure that will change once I calm down though. Reading Ravy porn, is my hot hot sex right now though, so I effusively encourage you to keep it coming :D

[http://users.livejournal.com/_slutknot_/]

LOL @ the Aretha hat.

I don't know what I'm gonna do when the next one comes out-
I normally wait for _bitch_cakes_ to buy them.

:(

This series is still over 9000 times better than Anita Blake, even with all the cockblocking.

[leavethesky.livejournal.com]

Thank you for this. I was close, very close to starting this series, but there's no way I could stand 7 books of this shit. There's being a tease and then there's fucking with your hot dyke, very loyal fanbase. 7 books of tease puts you firmly in the latter category. I'd rather read your (and trancer's!) femslash anyway.

[runetraverse.livejournal.com]

So if someone offered you, say, another urban fantasy with similar relationships, but no cock-block, what would happen? xD

And I dunno if you read the earlier comment I made, but I flat-out asked her if Rachel and Ivy would possibly end up together when she came to Powells. (should'a seen the weird looks I got for it, too. Kim looked a little surprised, but like eight different people in the rows in front of me actually turned around to stare.) The little tidbits she let slip are:

- She never meant for there to be an erotic relationship between Ivy and Rachel originally. "When Ivy crawled over the table (in DWW), [I] nearly had a heart attack!" was the quote. Then she repeated something she's said before, about how she outlines plots, but can't predict the relationships between her characters to save her life, so anything's possible. On the other hand, she has said that she isn't oblivious to the chemistry now, and that (based on her personality) Ivy will most likely end up with a woman, even if it's not necessarily Rachel. (had to go back and find that answer to make sure I had it right.)

- Kisten (the closest thing to a real rival Ivy-wise) was actually supposed to be a bit player, but he ended up growing into the perfect guy for Rachel . . . which is why she had to kill him. The way she explained it, the series will end with Rachel getting "her happy ending." Since Kisten had become a match for her, but she still had stories to tell plot-wise, she had three choices: send him away (to "Vamp Camp"), make him evil, or kill him off. Since she felt like just sending him away would make for more angst / whining / stupidity, and making him evil would be a disservice to the character, she had to have him die.

There was more, but those were the two that stuck with me. So I figured I'd share. xD

[ralst.livejournal.com]

I only made it part way through book three before the 'GET THEM TOGETHER, ALREADY!' vibe forced me to put the book aside. At first I loved that there was all that simmering lust but I've been spoiled by fanfic and all the 'lets throw an unsuitable and only vaguely interesting man at her' became very irritating, very fast.

My copy of the 'The World Unseen' book has just arrived, so I think I'll take refuge in that for a while.

[ex-stanleyt.livejournal.com]

Hehehe, yeah, I was just messin' with ya. So, we know what you think about Rachel & Marshall... What do you think about Ivy & Glenn? *ducks again*

[seriousfic.livejournal.com]

Reading Ravy porn, is my hot hot sex right now though, so I effusively encourage you to keep it coming :D

So, umm, you know, since you asked and all... HANDCUFFS!

Also, to cheer you up, a picture of Olga Kurylenko being FIERCE in Centurion. It's from the guy who did Doomsday!

[fembuck.livejournal.com]

HANDCUFFS!

How did I miss this? *looks at date* Blasted night before my flight! *must read*

Also, to cheer you up, a picture of Olga Kurylenko being FIERCE in Centurion. It's from the guy who did Doomsday!

OH MY FUCKING GOD! I LOVE YOU FOR THIS PICTURE! AND THIS INFORMATION!

So fucking fierce I could die!

*goes to read everything I can find on this movie because Olga and Neil "The Descent" and "Doomsday" Marshall and fucking war paint means that I WILL be seeing this!*

[gochateau.livejournal.com]

I don't even know what to say... I didn't find out about that Ivy spoiler until now and, predictably, I feel like throwing my own bitch fit too. I was fine after finishing book 7... I cringed and skipped all the Rachel/Marshall scenes, and was glad that there was a hell of a lot more Ivy-mention in this book, especially after ODW, but damn.

Looking back on all the Ravy subtext AFTER reading that spoiler? Just makes everything worse. Seven books (and counting, apparently. *swears up a storm*) worth of cock block? Fuck. That.

[fembuck.livejournal.com]

Thank you for this. I was close, very close to starting this series, but there's no way I could stand 7 books of this shit.

I'm glad I could save you from the bitchfit you would most definitely throw after 7 books (and more coming) of this shit.

There's being a tease and then there's fucking with your hot dyke, very loyal fanbase. 7 books of tease puts you firmly in the latter category.

This. It's just obvious pandering now. She knows there's a lesbian fan base, and so she throws bones, but she has no intention of ever getting them together. There are far more people clamoring for Rachel to end with anyone with dick than Ivy, and K.H. is not attached enough (if at all) to the idea of Rachel/Ivy that she would never fight for it, or risk sales for it.

I'd rather read your (and trancer's!) femslash anyway.

Thanks :D Although I have to say, Her Grace, the Lady Kim of Cock Block has cock-blocked my ability to write Ravy right now. I cannot start to think of Ravy without getting bitter and wanting Ivy to leave Rachel and move far far away to a place where she can find a good woman who loves her and appreciates her.

I'm hoping Trancer will keep the porn coming though, cause it does make me feel better :D

[ic1pher.livejournal.com]

Crap... Can't say that I didn't see this coming but losing you and your awesome fic writing skills from this fandom is going to hurt like hell. :(

I don't know how I can bear to drudge on without fan fiction. But when you're right you're right. It's just... I can't let go of this fandom.

[angharad_gov.livejournal.com]

good to know. after i read outlaw demon wails, i'll know to stop there.

[fembuck.livejournal.com]

So if someone offered you, say, another urban fantasy with similar relationships, but no cock-block, what would happen? xD

[Liz Lemon] I want to go to there [/Liz Lemon]. Please tell me about this. I want this. Me no wanty the cock-blocky anymore!

She never meant for there to be an erotic relationship between Ivy and Rachel originally.

I heard about this before, and it just makes me even more despondent. If she had planned on the sexual tension from the beginning, if it was something she intended and had thought about before the series, I would have 100% more faith in the idea of Rachel and Ivy ending up together. But because it just sort of popped up, I don't think that she's at all committed to the idea. She couldn't write it if she HATED the idea, but I think she'd rather write about Rachel getting down with pretty boys.

Since Kisten had become a match for her, but she still had stories to tell plot-wise, she had three choices: send him away (to "Vamp Camp"), make him evil, or kill him off.

Well Ivy's been the perfect match for Rachel for seven books so ...

Actually, right now I've of the mind where I wish Kim would write Ivy off on some mission or whatever. That way I could skip reading all of the books that were based on Rachel alone. This could eat up a good four books that she left to write in the series. Then Ivy could come back, and she and Rachel could spent the next three books discussing their issues like adults, and working on a relationship together, and in the finally book they could reach a comfortable stage in their relationship together where they are happy, and are health influences on each other, who emotionally support each other and THE END

There was more, but those were the two that stuck with me. So I figured I'd share

Thanks for sharing the info (if my tone is at all ranty know that my annoyance is directed at Kim, and my gratitude for sharing is directed at you). I hadn't heard the stuff about Kisten before, so it was interesting to see what the reasoning for killing him off was.

[fembuck.livejournal.com]

Dude, don't even read that one.

That one is where the insanity began. ODW has maybe the biggest Ravy cock-blockage ever. It's my residual hate of ODW that made me explode with hatred over the half of WWBC I've read.

Just imagine that Kisten's death frees Ivy and Rachel up to love each other and leave it at that.

Just ... just leave it at that. I just want to spare you this pain that I'm in now. You'll be curious what happens, but fight the feeling. Not knowing is better. Just pretend the series ended with book 5. Kind of like how I pretend Buffy ended after season 4. You'll be happier that way.

[darkwoofe.livejournal.com]

I got this far and wanted to quit too, but since I'd already read half of the annoying thing, I finished it. I won't spoil it for you too much, but the part you're talking about? It won't last. The cock blocker bails when the going gets tough. And things with Ivy take a better turn although I can't say where it's going.

One thing Kim is doing well (too well, truth be known) is keeping the suspense in the Ivy/Rachel thing. Plus there's an interesting scene with Skimmer in the prison...

Keep reading. I can't say it ends perfectly, but it does improve from this point on. Of course I can't see how it could get much worse.

PS Rachel needs to remember that Jinks was getting old and slow too until she made him big. He became better after that and the same thing may work for his wife. Just had to say it...

[lostingeekdom.livejournal.com]

Aarrgh! I didn't know she was not planning on Ravy from the beginning. Now that definitely puts a damper on things for me.

[lostingeekdom.livejournal.com]

Did you finish reading the book? I felt that the Ravy scenes got a bit better by the end of it. Though now, reading that Cock block never meant to write Ravy from the beginning is putting me off again.