"This is the last time you'lle ever see me" LIAR LIAR PANTS ON FIRE!

[fembuck]

New Moon Official Trailer (because there's no point in me pretending that I'm not going to watch this piece of shit movie)

Thoughts:

1.  God, Edward is a buzz kill.  He makes me want to ...



He's such a downer.  Even RPattz's pretty can't make me tolerate Edward, and he does look so pretty in character.

2.  Forks has a really pretty coastline.

3.  Bella and Edward's doomed love?



4.  Ha ha, Jasper.  Also, ha ha Jaspers!hair.  Seriously, he looks like Meg Ryan. 



TELL ME THAT'S NOT THE SAME DO!?!?!

5.  The birthday scene really made it seem like Bella was Alice's date.  It gave me a glimpse of what the movie would be like done right.  When I actually see the film, I'm going to be like ...



The real thing is going to be such a disappointment.

6.  After watching this, I now ship Bella/Esme. And also, Rosalie/Esme in addition to Alice/Bella. Because Esme was a little bit too excited about that hug (she was subtle like L8N ya'll)



And, Rosalie was a little bit too



when Esme gave Bella that 'little bit too excited' hug.  How do you spell her name again?  Oh yeah, J-E-A-L-O-U-S!

7. That shot of Bella lying in the woods is even more ridiculous in live-action than it is the in book, and it's pretty freaking redonk in the book.

8.  "I'll protect you?"  WTF?  Did I fall asleep in the middle of New Moon or something?  When did Laurent say this?  Nevermind ...


BORED NOW

Also, did anyone else find Laurent caressing Bella's face to be like a billion times hotter than ANY scene between Bella and Edward?  Cause I did.  Also, those eyes are incredibly red.  Incredibly.  I kind of liked the contacts from the first movie better, both the red and yellow ones.  Understated is definitely better with this things.

9.  Jacob looked kind of badass.  All the wolf!form looks pretty damn good.  I'm kind of disppointed by this.  I was hoping that it would be really lulzy.

10.  No Dakota?  No Victoria? 

No love.

In conclusion:

Comments

[ralphy137.livejournal.com]

hahahaha jaspers hair. hahaha. this.

[fembuck.livejournal.com]

It's so awful. So awful. I saw set pics of Jackson walking around with that hair, but my brain wouldn't accept that it would actually look like that in the film. My brain apparently just likes logic until the makers of this film.

I will not be able to take Jasper seriously at all, and I will laugh every second he is on screen. Also, I am more convinced of Alice/Bella now than ever, because there's no way Alice could sex someone with hair like that, so she'd have to leave him for Bella.

[ralphy137.livejournal.com]

that and the 'keep your thoughts to yourself' bit in twilight. my mind did go straight to your fanfic when he said that.
he knows. Alice/Bella OTP.

[fembuck.livejournal.com]

that and the 'keep your thoughts to yourself' bit in twilight.

This comment still makes me go O_o and the laugh like crazy. It's like, WUT. But I love it cause it totally does place right in Belice scenario's. That's why they didn't show the hotel scene in Twilight. It's because Belice were getting it on and it was so hot that the movie would have gotten an X rating.

[ralphy137.livejournal.com]

now thats a two disc special edition i'd pay to see.

[http://users.livejournal.com/_slutknot_/]

I can't wait to get smashed and see this in theaters.

[fembuck.livejournal.com]

Oh, I know. It's going to be epic. I'm going to get my weed on until I can't stand and watch the fuck out of this movie. It's going to be great.

(weed and alcohol really did get me through the first one. I haven't been able to watch more than five minutes of sober)

[http://users.livejournal.com/_slutknot_/]

pretty much every time I've watched it I was drunk.

I think I'm going to keep this tradition going for all the movies.
I'm pretty sure it's the only way to survive them.

[fembuck.livejournal.com]

I think I'm going to keep this tradition going for all the movies.
I'm pretty sure it's the only way to survive them.

You speak the truth. I would not even attempt watching this movie without at least one intoxicating substance in me, but the more the merrier really.

[trancer21.livejournal.com]

Wait? I thought the entire point of firing Catherine Hardwicke and hiring Chris Weitz as director was to make the sequel more 'teenaged-boy friendly'! That still looked like 'chick flick with vampires'* to me!

* Not that there's anything wrong with chick flicks or chick flicks with vampires. Despite hating all things Twilight, I am glad there is tangible proof that movies for girls can be mega-blockbusters just as movies for boys. It's just.. seeing the results makes the firing of Hardwicke even more nonsensical and incredibly sexist.

And, wow, Rpatz looks like he spent his 'Twilight Summer Vacation' perfecting the art of PHONING IT IN!

[fembuck.livejournal.com]

I thought the entire point of firing Catherine Hardwicke and hiring Chris Weitz as director was to make the sequel more 'teenaged-boy friendly'!

Was that what it was? If so, that fucking ridiculous since these movies were never gonna be boy-friendly since the books aren't, and Summit folds to all of SMeyer's demands like a cake in the rain.

Despite hating all things Twilight, I am glad there is tangible proof that movies for girls can be mega-blockbusters just as movies for boys.

There is this. Thank you for finding the silver lining :D

It's just.. seeing the results makes the firing of Hardwicke even more nonsensical and incredibly sexist.

Yeah, I didn't really find anything wrong with Hardwicke's direction. This guy certain doesn't seem to be doing anything better with the characters. E/B were just as intolerable as ever. I don't know, I think that Hardwicke got slammed for critics hating the movie, when it wasn't really her fault, and now that Summit realizes it's just a cash cow and not a respectable franchise that other director's will get way more leeway.

Rpatz looks like he spent his 'Twilight Summer Vacation' perfecting the art of PHONING IT IN!

lol. Yeah, he as pretty cringe-worthy in what we saw. Then again, he is playing Edward so there's not much the poor guy can do.

[fembuck.livejournal.com]

Jacob looks totally bad ass in this trailer.

He really does. I was very impressed. In that one scene of him standing up shirtless he managed to be more badass than Edward has in 4 books and 1 feature film.

The comment about Jasper's hair

lol, it's true. It's hideous.



He looks like a cross between Meg and Little Hayley Mills. It's cah-RA-zy!

The lines in the Twilight films are so cheesy...how can anyone keep a straight face?

Self-medicating. ;)

[jyoki.livejournal.com]

That room full of people who care picture had me on the floor DYING of laughter.

7. That shot of Bella lying in the woods is even more ridiculous in live-action than it is the in book, and it's pretty freaking redonk in the book.

Agreed. I hope all her heart-ache-i-miss-edward-scenes are replaced by a 5 minute musical montage and they replace the rest with...


something else.

Like more Alice :D

[fembuck.livejournal.com]

Agreed. I hope all her heart-ache-i-miss-edward-scenes are replaced by a 5 minute musical montage and they replace the rest with... something else. Like more Alice

LOL! You speak the truth. If that emo bullshit takes up any more than 5 minutes of screen time I will loose my shit. I need Jacob to show up, because I swear to god that Jacob and Alice will be the only things keeping me sane throughout this (and glimpses of Esme who I adore for some reason, and Victoria who is delicious).

[jyoki.livejournal.com]

Or maybe replace the emo bella scenes with Emmett, Jacob and T-pain and how they're on a BOAT.

(edward wasn't invited)

[miss-darkmoon.livejournal.com]

THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN XD

(sorry for jacking your thread! ^^, couldn't resist...)

[bizarro-bluth.livejournal.com]

Seriously, he looks like Meg Ryan.

lol forever ♥

The birthday scene really made it seem like Bella was Alice's date. It gave me a glimpse of what the movie would be like done right.

THIS. Date night could have been so much better.


Either way I hope Ashley gheys up that 'return' scene like its nobody's business. As for having to sit through the rest of it, tequila is a beautiful thing.

[fembuck.livejournal.com]

THIS. Date night could have been so much better.

Word. They look so perfect together. KStew's even got an expression on her face. Alice looks so damn proud of Bella, like, "Yeah, I get to tap this. Jelus?"

Thanks for the screen cap. I wanted to make one but was too lazy, lol.

I hope Ashley gheys up that 'return' scene like its nobody's business.

This! I think Alice's gayosity went over the heads of must, so that means Ashley won't have been told to tune it down. So let's hope that she just naturally brings it again in spades. I'm thinking she will, since she played that b-day scene really gay as well. She really was like "presenting" Bella to the family.

I want the return scene to be so gay that people make comments like, "was it just me or was Alice really gay for Bella". I want to veil to fall so that everyone can enjoy the awesome power of Belice!

OT?? Megan Fox is never OT.

[(Anonymous)]

This should help to make you feel better about everything.

Even the music makes you want to get really high and just watch this clip over and over again.

http://www.egotastic.com/video?other=megan-fox-gq&w=&h=&info=Megan%20Fox%20Bikini%20Video%20from%20GQ

Re: OT?? Megan Fox is never OT.

[fembuck.livejournal.com]

Oooh, thanks. Megan being fine as hale, makes everything better.

It saddens me that she went back to looking like a trashy vegas whore for the MTV video awards. The Natural Look, it's your friend Megan. Red stick and spray on tanner is NOT.

[su-bones.livejournal.com]

Definitely agree on everything you say, except for one thing: the wolf effects...I mean, i know it's pretty hard to mix animation with live image, but looked kinda rough imo...:P But Jake looks awesome.

[fembuck.livejournal.com]

lol. Yeah, the transition effect does look a little cartoon-y. I was just expecting something really, really bad. So my expectations were so low that anything that wasn't completely horrible would seem 'good' to me.

[billy-rose.livejournal.com]

ooh sharkboy is in this one? and the werewolves look badass, too..
I may have to briefly consider watching new moon, but ultimately decide against it because I just dun care *shrugs*

love the commentary though, lol ^_^

[fembuck.livejournal.com]

ooh sharkboy is in this one?

He's Shark Man, now. Shark. Man.

I may have to briefly consider watching new moon, but ultimately decide against it because I just dun care *shrugs*

You're honestly not missing anything. I wish I could make myself not care about it, but sadly I am shamefully invested. At least in these movie. There is a possibility I'll be able to hold out on seeing the last two.

[billy-rose.livejournal.com]

Ooooh I am corrected - Shark Man indeed *nods*

and yeah, I figure since I know what's generally gonna happen anyway (mostly from that "The Edge" fic of yours - great stuff btw) and fic is more awesomer than edward/bella nonsense, why bother with the movies? Even if kstew is damn hot there's always Zathura for ogling *nods*

ooh.. or I could go on a mary elizabeth winstead kick instead... *runs off to watch final destination 3 as many times as possible tonight*

[ex-stanleyt.livejournal.com]

Screw the sparkly vampires, yay for the Firefly pic! :D :D :D

[fembuck.livejournal.com]

Zoe is better than everything in Twilight! (well, not Alice. But everything else). Do you think Edward would be able to get away with that emo shit with Zoe around, heck no! God, Zoe would have just wiped everyone up into shape in like 5 minutes, and then they could all go drinking at an Alliance friendly bar and get into bar fights.

*sigh* R.I.P. Firefly (although I did just hear a spoiler for what WOULD have happened if Firefly had gotten renewed, and I'm glad I never got to see that spoiler come to pass!)

Firefly

[bellavaruka.livejournal.com]

What was the spoiler, if you don't mind?

[ic1pher.livejournal.com]

I think this was about the point in the books that I simply couldn't stay awake no matter how hard I tried. It wasn't bad per se, it was just like eating cotton candy without any actual candy. I don't get frustrated by it, I don't get angry because of it, none of that, I just have absolute disinterest of it. Sparkly vampires are a funny concept and it's fun to see what kind of gifs people have come up, but in order to have the capability of truly appreciating Twilight one must possess a female brain it seems. Not even your funny and interesting posts can make me like or dislike it. I just simply don't find it worth the time nor passion. *shrug*

That Bleighton gif reminds me that if GG season 3 brought their characters together, it would be so full of epic win. Damn, I get completely mesmerized only watching that gif.

I'm going to watch that Twilight YouTube clip now. Curiosity killed the cat and all...

[fembuck.livejournal.com]

Sparkly vampires are a funny concept and it's fun to see what kind of gifs people have come up, but in order to have the capability of truly appreciating Twilight one must possess a female brain it seems.

NO!!! Don't lump all females into one category! Plenty of us think this is complete shit. Plenty of teenage girls do to. It's just that the obsessed ones make us all look bad.

Seriously, I just love making fun of how bad the books are. I don't get passionately hateful about it. Everything about the books (except for Alice) is just so bad, that you kind of just have to throw your hands up in the air and laugh. Twilight fandom is crazy fun though (as long as you stay in communities that make fun of it, like ontd_twatlight). SRS BSNS fans are scary. The hate is so amusing.

[ic1pher.livejournal.com]

I'm just saying that no men can appreciate the books on the same level as some girls can.

[madndizzee.livejournal.com]

*LOL at your comments/illustrations* Alice looks delicious and Jacob/werewolf looks awesome. makes me want to pet a wolf.

[fembuck.livejournal.com]

Alice looks delicious and Jacob/werewolf looks awesome.

Yeah, Alice was amazing in what we saw of her. And I'm pretty sure that Jacob is actually going to be one of the best things about the movie, which is sad. But other than Alice, he was the only thing that I was like "Well, that doesn't look like complete shit" about.

makes me want to pet a wolf.

This. I kind of want to play fetch with him and scratch his belly. He's so cute. It's like "Yes, you are. Yes, you are. Who's a good werewolf? Jake's a good werewolf, yes you are!"

[hypno-ninja.livejournal.com]

You know the most annoying ting about this trailer, for me? Having not read the books and having no investment in the story at all, the point where Edward leaves Bella in the middle of the freakin' forest.

"I have to leave you forever. You'll be fine in this huge forest right?"

Isn't he supposed to be like 100 or something? Do vampires get dumber with age?

[fembuck.livejournal.com]

"I have to leave you forever. You'll be fine in this huge forest right?"

LOL!

Isn't he supposed to be like 100 or something? Do vampires get dumber with age?

Edward's a complete fucking idiot. Don't look for logic or sense in anything he says or does. But in his defense, they were in a part of the forest Bella knew well. But, Bella (being a complete fucking idiot as well) just kind of decides to lie down and be sad in the dirt, and like stays there for a long time. The whole freaking town is like looking for her and she's being all emo in the woods. *sigh* I hate those two together so much.

[hypno-ninja.livejournal.com]

It would have made more sense to do it after he'd dropped her off at like her house or something, you know where he dad is? So he can maybe comfort her or something or she can at least so sullenly cry in her room.

This isn't just your regular quality stupidity, this is grade A remedial special education kinds of stupid.

The more I learn about Twilight the gladder I get that I have no plans on ever reading it, and the sadder I get that my cousin does read it.

[orange-creative.livejournal.com]

Room full of people who care

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA. The entire time I was watching them, I was thinking, "Where's Ashley Greene? Do we get to see Jane?"

No Dakota? No love.

It's most ultimate failure as a trailer.


There are just so many things I have against the movie and against the story, but I know I'm going to see it anyway. Midnight showing, it's already set up. D: I've been bribed with an Alice Cullen shirt!

[fembuck.livejournal.com]

The entire time I was watching them, I was thinking, "Where's Ashley Greene? Do we get to see Jane?"

This. I am so upset that we didn't get to see any Jane (or Victoria). I know they shot some scenes with the Volturi in Vancouver so don't tell me there wasn't any footage! There was a lot of Alice though, so that was somewhat comforting.

[loonyluna256.livejournal.com]

i hate these damn movies and in turn hate the books now.
but this lil recap = lmao.

[lightbluenym.livejournal.com]

The fact that L8N, Willow and Meg Ryan got a shout out in your review really makes me smile... :)

[twisted-knicker.livejournal.com]

HEY! I haven't looked at earlier post as of yet and don't know if you already know and there's "talk amongst ourselves" about it but there's going to be a Cruise to Alaska next year with Alice and Edward from - you guessed it - Twilight. In case you were interested. . .