fembuck | Fic: The Fiercest Agonies (Cara/Kahlan, Legend of the Seeker)

Title: The Fiercest Agonies
Author: Janine
Fandom: Legend of the Seeker
Pairing: Cara/Kahlan
Rating: PG
Disclaimer: I don’t own them, I’m just borrowing them for a while.
Summary: Kahlan offers Cara some comfort after the blonde escapes her ‘sisters’ attempts at re-training.
Note: Inspired by the previews for 2x20.

---

Pain dies quickly, and lets her weary prisoners go; the fiercest agonies have shortest reign.
- William C. Bryant

Kahlan barely noticed the cool of the pond as she slipped into the chilly water. Cara stood a few meters away from shore, submerged in water that stopped halfway up her torso. The blonde's back was to Kahlan, blonde hair darkened by water hanging the slightest bit further down Cara's back than it did while dry. Cara's tan back glistened in the moonlight, the pale glow highlighting the lattice pattern of angry red streaks marring Cara's otherwise smooth skin.

Kahlan knew that Cara heard her approach, but the blonde did not turn to watch her or make verbal acknowledgment of Kahlan's presence. Her golden hand simply moved methodically up and down her arm, cleaning away the blood and grime that clung to her skin with a small cloth.

There were no words that could express what Kahlan was feeling, so she did not try to use words. When she reached Cara the Mother Confessor simply pressed her front to Cara's back and wrapped her arms around the blonde from behind, hugging her tightly to her body. Cara tensed for a moment, but made no move to escape the circle of Kahlan's arms and Kahlan closed her eyes in relief as she continued to hold the other woman. As she did Cara's stomach began to rise and fall quickly as if she was struggling for breath and Kahlan pressed her lips to Cara's shoulder in an attempt to soothe before she turned her head to the side and tucked her face into the nook of Cara's neck, still holding Cara gently.

Slowly Cara's breathing began to return to normal and the blonde's fingers brushed over the back of the hand Kahlan had resting on her stomach. They lingered on the Confessor paler skin for a few seconds, more hovering than touching really, and then they skittered away.

"Please," Kahlan said softly, her breath warming Cara's skin as her drew her hand towards the Cara's the cloth that was loosely clutched in Cara's hand. "Let me help."

Cara had been silent and skittish all day, walking slightly away from the rest of the group and curling into herself when she thought no one was looking, so it did not surprise Kahlan that Cara was still and silent for many moments. Kahlan knew that it was Cara's instinct to slip off like a wounded animal and find some dark and lonely place to curl up and lick her wounds, but she did not want Cara to be alone, and despite her instincts she didn't think that Cara really wanted to be alone either. She would respect the blonde's decision either way, Cara had spent quite enough time over the last few days having other peoples wills imposed on her and Kahlan would not force unwanted company upon her, but she hoped that Cara would allow her to stay. Cara had changed so much over the months she had traveled with them, and over the last few weeks she had become almost expressive. It had been a beautiful transformation to behold and it tortured Kahlan to think that in three days Darken Rahl might have been able to rip it all away from her.

So as Cara stood statue-like in contemplation, Kahlan simply held on tenderly to the body in her arms and waited.

Eventually the damp cloth was pressed against Kahlan's hand and brunette's eyes squeezed shut as accepted it with a soft, relieved sigh. They had beaten Cara, and tortured her within an inch of her life, but they had not broken her. The woman who smiled at the thought of snow was still in there, but after days of brutalization she was cautious of coming out.

Kahlan drew the cloth over Cara's body carefully, cleaning away the dried blood, sweat and dirt days in a Mord'Sith dungeon had caked onto her skin, and found herself blinking often in an attempt to contain the tears threatening to spill from her eyes. Every new patch of skin the cloth ran over seemed to reveal a new bruise or cut or burn. Cara's whole body was an injury and Kahlan's heart roared with barely contained rage as her mind fathomed the horrors that had been visited upon Cara by her 'sisters'.

Kahlan's hand flexed, squeezing Cara's ribs mildly as she drew the cloth over the blonde's stomach and Cara drew in a sharp breath and shivered. Kahlan's hands paused and she closed her eyes tightly, overwhelmed once again with sorrow at the damage that had been wreaked up the woman in her arms.

"Cara," the name fell from Kahlan's lips in a pained whisper before she was even aware that she speaking.

"I'll be fine."

The words were Cara, through and through, but her voice was raw and brittle and seeped in fatigue.

"I know you will," Kahlan whispered wanting to squeeze Cara more tightly against her, but not because she knew that it would only cause the blonde pain. "This should just never have happened to you in the first place."

"It's not the first time," Cara stated, her voice hard and flinty for the first time all day.

"That should never have happened either," Kahlan declared wrathfully.

Cara's lips quirked up slightly at that. She liked it when Kahlan's voice sounded like the unsheathing of knives. Despite her small smile however, Cara retreated into silence one more and Kahlan resumed her gentle cleaning of the blonde's body.

Later, though by how much Kahlan couldn't be certain, Cara's hand moved to cover Kahlan's, stopping the Mother Confessors ministrations.

"I'm clean," Cara hollowly. "You can stop."

Kahlan stopped moving the cloth but did not put any space between her body and Cara's.

"What are you doing?" Cara asked a minute later when Kahlan still did not move.

"Holding you," Kahlan told her honestly.

"Why?"

"Because I'm glad," Kahlan related softly. "I'm glad you're here and alive, and that I can hold you. I need you tangible, in my arms, to make the fear that was gnawing away at my insides the whole time you were gone disappear."

"You were afraid for me?"

Cara's voice was small, fragilely hopeful and the sound of it twisted Kahlan's heart.

"Yes," Kahlan said finally releasing Cara, but only so she could move around the blonde's body so that they were face to face. "Of course I was afraid for you, Cara. I love you," Kahlan said taking the Mord'Sith's face into her hands as she stared intensely into Cara's iridescent green eyes. "The thought of you suffering pains me. Never think differently."

Cara blinked rapidly and lowered her head, still in Kahlan's hands, but not before the Mother Confessor saw the first tear fall from her eye. A moment later Kahlan felt a warm drop on her wrist and then another, and then she was drawing Cara into her arms, holding her carefully but firmly, the tears she had been trying to contain all day finally slipping from her eyes when Cara's hands tentatively splayed themselves on Kahlan's back returning the brunette's embrace.

"I thought of you," Cara said clearly struggling to reveal herself with words but forcing them out of her mouth anyway. "I thought of the scar on your lip. It reminded me that pain fades and the body heals. It kept me strong."

Kahlan's eyes squeezed shut at the blonde's simple admission and an angry howl wailed in her mind.

"I want to strangle whoever did this to you with my bare hands," Kahlan hissed without realizing she was speaking.

Cara's lips curved up slightly where they were pressed against Kahlan's skin and the brunette pulled back to observe her, uncertain what she had said to make Cara smile.

"What?" Kahlan asked curiously, her gaze sober and serious as she looked at Cara.

"No one has ever wanted to avenge me before," Cara replied focusing her eyes in the distance past Kahlan as she spoke.

"Well there are three of us now who do," Kahlan breathed out, taking Cara's face in hers again before leaning forward to gently press her lips to Cara's, kissing her like something precious and loved.

"You're shivering," Kahlan declared when she pulled back from Cara's lips, her arms moving up and down Cara's arms carefully, trying to warm them. "We should get out."

Cara followed Kahlan out of the pond and once on shore she allowed the Confessor to dry her with a thin towel and help her dress, and then watched quietly as Kahlan retrieved her own clothes and began to pull them back on.

"Kahlan," Cara said as they looked towards the path they had followed to the pond.

Kahlan's head swivelled and her eyes met Cara's, holding them with singular attention as if at that moment Cara was the most important thing in the world.

Cara's hand twitched indecisively at her side, her back was painfully straight and as Kahlan gazed at her she could practically see Cara's training and her heart warring for dominance. After a few seconds of silence an audibly shaky breath escaped from Cara and some of the tension faded from her shoulders.

Kahlan's lips parted but before words could slip past them, Cara reached beside her and took Kahlan's hand into her own, holding it so tightly that it could be characterized as desperation.

Kahlan covered Cara's hand with own and squeezed it reassuringly.

"Come on," Kahlan said softly, her voice rough with emotion as she held firmly onto Cara's hand.

Cara nodded once feeling strangely calm, almost settled. She had been trying to find her center all day, but it had eluded her until that moment.

Kahlan's thumb moved soothing across the back of Cara's hand and reflexively Cara's hand squeezed the Confessor's clamping onto it like something vital. Kahlan gently smoothed her thumb over the back of Cara's hand once more, and then, hand-in-hand they started towards camp.

The End