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[personal profile] fembuck
Nikita 1x20 ...



Now, let me just take a minute to pause to say, "Fuck you Canada!  Why do you insist on fucking with the schedule for showing Nikita!"  Like damn!  Like I know we're a constitutional monarchy and shit, there was no need to stop playing new shit on tv in honor of William and Kate's nuptials 8 fucking hours before the wedding.  Why you do this to me Canada, with all the rain all the time and taking away my Nikita?  WHY?????

AMANDA FUCKING KNOWS!  AW SHIT!  AW SHIT! 

AMANDA WAS ALL LIKE ...



AND ALEX CAME AT HER AND SHE FUCKING PUNCHED ALEX IN THE BOOB!  SHE PUNCHED ALEX IN THE TITTY
ONE TIME AND THAT WAS FUCKING THAT!  ALEX WAS LIKE 'FALL DOWN AND CRY NOW'.  A TRAINED KILLER COMES AT AMANDA AND SHE'S LIKE ...



BITCH STEPPED ON ALEX'S THROAT!  SHE STEPPED ON HER GODDAMN THROAT IN HEELS!  RUDE AS HELL, AND FLY AS HELL!  HOW'D YOU GET TO BE SUCH A BITCH AMANDA?  BREEDING, BITCH, TOP-CLASS BREEDING!  SHE WILL CUT YOU IN CHANEL! 

SHE IS HBIC OF THE WORLD.  DON'T GIVE YOUR WEEPY BABY BLUES ...



SHE WILL SLAP YOU LIKE YOU'RE CONFESSED!!!

DID YOU SEE HOW SHE JUST DROPPED PAPA UNDINOV'S WATCH LIKE IT WEREN'T SHIT!  SHE WAS LIKE, 'YEAH BITCH, I'M STEPPING ON YOUR THROAT, I'M DROPPING YOUR DADDIES WATCH, WHAT ARE YOU GON' DO ABOUT IT?  I'M STEPPING ON YOUR GODDAMN THROAT!  WE DON'T NEED TO BE IN PRISON, YOU'RE ALREADY MY BITCH!" 


Other shit happened in this episode that was actually pretty good:
 
1)  Alex tried to move in with Nikita so that they could sex all day long, and Nikita was all like, "Oh, noes.  How am I supposed to fit in all of this sexin' with two people AND save the world?" (It's a hard life she lives). 

2)  Nathan served a purpose and had a funny line.  Alex and Jaden had a sexy sexy girlfight. I amused myself imaging Nathan walking in on it and thinking they were getting it on and that Alex was breaking up with him cause she's a sexy lezza.  Then I was disappointed that IRL he didn't think they were getting it on ...

3) But then Jaden got hardcore killinated and I was like DAMMMMMMMMMN! 

4) Nikita saved some people. 

5)  Lyndsy Fonseca somehow managed to vomit into a kitchen sink with class (who does she think she is, Betty Draper?)

But then the last scene came around and Amanda was all like "Ha, ha, bitch!  Jaden had a bionic ear!" and pwned Alex and it made the rest of the episode (as good as it was) look like cold diarrhea!

P.S.  Dammit, Nikita!  Stop taking strolls in the fucking park and patting yourself on the pack and check in on your girlfriend who called you in tears because there was a dead body in her apartment!  Like, I know Alex is badass and all, but a "Baby, dead bodies are the worst.  Don't worry though, Momma bears coming home to kiss the emotional trauma away" wouldn't have been too much.  Call your girlfriend!

Can it be next Nikiturday nao, plz???

Date: 2011-05-01 10:53 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] fembuck.livejournal.com
Karl Urban is perfect for everything.

But yeah, he would have been able to be stoic yet still smolder. West's Michael completely lacks the ability to smolder.

Date: 2011-05-02 05:29 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] angela627.livejournal.com
Karl Urban is the new 6 Degrees of Kevin Bacon, lol.

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