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Jumper? More like Clunker!
Feb. 18th, 2008 05:49 pmNow that I've dazzled you all with my wit ... onto complaining about Jumper.
1. Rachel Bilson used to be attractive I think. She's not anymore. Every time she was on screen I kept thinking that she looked like - and believe me I know how cruel this will sound but it's honestly what I was thinking - that she looked like the half-human, half-alien that was created from Ripley's DNA in Alien Resurrection. True story. Psst, hey Rachel ... EAT SOMETHING!
2. Samuel L. Jackson is always watchable. Seriously, he still managed to be good even in this pile of poo.
3. Jamie Bell saved this thing for me. I was nearly nodding off to sleep until he showed up. I won't say I wish he was the main character, because the main character sucked balls, but thank you Jamie Bell for not sucking and for proving that people under the age of 30 can actually act.
4. The main character in this movie sucked balls. Seriously, David was a huge douchebag. From about ten minutes in until the end I hated him. Hayden Christensen is pretty, but looking at him in his very nice jackets (and they were very nice) was not enough to save the movie. When the protagonist is a selfish prick it's really hard to root for them (or to want a sequel).
5. This movie needed more Diane Lane. I almost want a sequel because I think that it would involve Diane Lane (and likely Kristen Stewart) hunting down Hayden's ass and trying to killinate him, which sounds like fun. But the sequel probably still wouldn't have enough Diane Lane, so let's just forget about the whole thing.
6. I really liked the idea of the movie, it's just too bad that it was so relentlessly average. Cool special effects and some funny lines from Griffin (Jamie Bell) but other than that it was like straight to DVD plotting and characterization ... ha, oh silly me, there was no characterization, what was I thinking.
In conclusion the best part of the movie was the Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull trailer (and I missed half of it). The half of it I saw had Cate Blanchett in it looking totally hot though, and that's good enough for me!
Oh, and Lena Headey.
1. Rachel Bilson used to be attractive I think. She's not anymore. Every time she was on screen I kept thinking that she looked like - and believe me I know how cruel this will sound but it's honestly what I was thinking - that she looked like the half-human, half-alien that was created from Ripley's DNA in Alien Resurrection. True story. Psst, hey Rachel ... EAT SOMETHING!
2. Samuel L. Jackson is always watchable. Seriously, he still managed to be good even in this pile of poo.
3. Jamie Bell saved this thing for me. I was nearly nodding off to sleep until he showed up. I won't say I wish he was the main character, because the main character sucked balls, but thank you Jamie Bell for not sucking and for proving that people under the age of 30 can actually act.
4. The main character in this movie sucked balls. Seriously, David was a huge douchebag. From about ten minutes in until the end I hated him. Hayden Christensen is pretty, but looking at him in his very nice jackets (and they were very nice) was not enough to save the movie. When the protagonist is a selfish prick it's really hard to root for them (or to want a sequel).
5. This movie needed more Diane Lane. I almost want a sequel because I think that it would involve Diane Lane (and likely Kristen Stewart) hunting down Hayden's ass and trying to killinate him, which sounds like fun. But the sequel probably still wouldn't have enough Diane Lane, so let's just forget about the whole thing.
6. I really liked the idea of the movie, it's just too bad that it was so relentlessly average. Cool special effects and some funny lines from Griffin (Jamie Bell) but other than that it was like straight to DVD plotting and characterization ... ha, oh silly me, there was no characterization, what was I thinking.
In conclusion the best part of the movie was the Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull trailer (and I missed half of it). The half of it I saw had Cate Blanchett in it looking totally hot though, and that's good enough for me!
Oh, and Lena Headey.
