After seeing this picture, I really want ...

[fembuck]

... to see Megan Fox star in a noir film.  Like an old school, black and white (it must be filmed in black and white!), detective story set in the 50s or 60s, when even poor people dressed well and everyone sounded like they came from money (unless you were playing a country bumpkin, in which case you still had some down home southern charm).  I want her to have one of those little guns that femme fatale's used to keep in their clutch pursues (or strapped to their thighs) and whip out whenever someone sassed them.

I want her to wear smart outfits like these.
 
   




And, fuck yes this was an excuse to post a billion pictures of the ultimate HBIC, Lauren Bacall.  I will not apologize.  All of you can just shut up and appreciate the hell out of this awesome lady.  Her voice can make people jizz in their pants.  I'm pretty sure her smokey laugh once brought a baby panda back to life, so just deal with it! ;)

Then they need to like cast this bitch



And this fierce creature right here



To costar in it, wearing equally fabulous clothes as the ones shown off above.

I kind of want Milla to be like Megan's out of control, wild, crazy drug addicted sister who's always getting in trouble with the law, and shooting men in bars when they grab her ass.  She can spend half the movie with mascra running down her face, yelling things at people drunkly  from her jail cell.

And Olivia should be like, a mysterious woman from her past whom Megan has a rivalry (read tons of fucking sexual tension) with.  And they are forced to work together for some reason, and they are constantly pushing each others buttons and getting in each others faces, but they can't get away from each other, because they need each other.

I suppose the movie will need a male lead.  I don't care to speculate about that ;)  He will only be a pawn in Megan and Olivia's game of cat and mouse, and one upsmanship and sexual tension anyway.  They will probably have to get a British actor to find someone classy enough to star opposite these fine examples of femininity however.  

This handsome bastard



Or this handsome bastard


Or this handsome beast
 


would probably work quite well however (okay, I speculated anyway.  Sue me!)

I mean it.  Get her to a voice coach so that she can get the classic whiskey burr (0:20, just listen to that fucking voice!) down, and film this bitch.  I wanna see it so bad.

Comments

[trancer21.livejournal.com]

The dude was never gonna get the girl, but there's no reason to make it some strange sci-fi world where men don't exist.

Lol, well, if the characters of Friends can live in a New York with *no* people of color, Megan Fox and Olivia Wilde can cavort in a world with no men! Okay, maybe they're like in the background or something, seen but not heard!!

After they'd already gotten drunk together, and had totally hot sex.

Pfft, well DUH!! With the way her Daddy was dipping his wick into anything on two legs, it's only logical that Megan's slept with a couple half-sisters she didn't know about until after the deed had been done! And now crazy half-sister Milla is all 'C'mon baby, it's not like you can get me pregnant. Just take me over Daddy's desk.. for old time's sake'. And Megan's all 'okay, fine, I'll finger you but I am *not* going down on you. I do have *some* morals after all'.

Only, I do what Karl to play a grizzled police detective who Megan and Olivia use in their wiley game of cat and mouse.

Well, okay fine! He can be the disgraced detective with issues with the bottle (heh, even better BDSM) who sees solving Philandering Dad's murder as his last shot at redemption which, you know, ultimately leads to his downfall.

In the end, all I want is a scene where either Fox or Wilde is wearing a suit and the other follows her to an underground lesbian club. There's jazz, lots of smoke and double entendres as they slow dance with each other!

[slavefaith.livejournal.com]

In the end, all I want is a scene where either Fox or Wilde is wearing a suit and the other follows her to an underground lesbian club. There's jazz, lots of smoke and double entendres as they slow dance with each other!

THIS OH MY GOD.

I heart you guys so much. Reading either one of your posts is like going to a fantasy land where I want to live forever.

Now if we could only slip in Michelle Fucking Rodriguez in there somewhere this would be the epics of the epics.

[fembuck.livejournal.com]

Now if we could only slip in Michelle Fucking Rodriguez in there somewhere this would be the epics of the epics.

Is it insane that a part of me resents Michelle Rodriquez, because in the fantasy world I created where I was dating Kristanna Loken, Michelle totally slept with her on the set of BloodRayne and consequently, in my imaginary dream world, Kristanna and I broke up?

*looks around*

I'm probably going to delete this in the morning *awkward laugh*

[slavefaith.livejournal.com]

Don't blame Kristanna.... a) It's Michelle Fucking Rodriguez and b) Uwe Boll film, I'm sure they had to go to each other in comfort because they realised it was such a terrible film.

Now as a good girlfriend you should have totally convinced Kristanna that it was a bad idea because... it's Uwe Boll and everything he touches magically goes to shit.

[fembuck.livejournal.com]

Pfft, well DUH!! With the way her Daddy was dipping his wick into anything on two legs, it's only logical that Megan's slept with a couple half-sisters she didn't know about until after the deed had been done! And now crazy half-sister Milla is all 'C'mon baby, it's not like you can get me pregnant. Just take me over Daddy's desk.. for old time's sake'. And Megan's all 'okay, fine, I'll finger you but I am *not* going down on you. I do have *some* morals after all'.

I am so in love with this idea. I mean *get a little misty-eyed* I really think this is turning into something beautiful. Into something special. It's just *gasp* It's all coming together.

'okay, fine, I'll finger you but I am *not* going down on you. I do have *some* morals after all'

BWAH!

In the end, all I want is a scene where either Fox or Wilde is wearing a suit and the other follows her to an underground lesbian club. There's jazz, lots of smoke and double entendres as they slow dance with each other!

This is a must. We need to recreate the shot of Greta Garbo, from Queen Christina. It had be like a Drag Queen piece that's going on in the lesbian jazz club of awesomeness. Cate Blanchett will play the role. I'm confident we could get Cate Blanchett because she was in that Indiana Jones movie, and that thing was a piece of shit. If we can't get Cate Blanchett, then ... someone else will do.

[trancer21.livejournal.com]

I am so in love with this idea. I mean *get a little misty-eyed* I really think this is turning into something beautiful.

Which is kinda scary when you think about it. But, really, it's not like we're asking for much - Fox/Wilde dancing together in a jazz club when they're not trying to fight/fuck each other, Milla Jovovich as Fox's kinda insane, opium smoking, incest loving, Ukrainian half-sister who may or may not be a member of the same BDSM club that drunken detective Karl Urban is a member (this is all just an excuse to get both Jovovich and Urban to wear bondage fetish gear). It's honestly a surprise this movie *hasn't* been made already!!

If we can't get Cate Blanchett, then ... someone else will do.

Wait, as long as Queen Latifah plays the jazz chanteuse with a deep, dark secret! And if Cate Blanchett won't play the Drag King then I suggest Gina Gershon.

Now, it's just a matter of figuring out how to shoehorn Michelle Rodriguez or, you know, Lena Headey in there somewhere.

[fembuck.livejournal.com]

But, really, it's not like we're asking for much - Fox/Wilde dancing together in a jazz club when they're not trying to fight/fuck each other, Milla Jovovich as Fox's kinda insane, opium smoking, incest loving, Ukrainian half-sister who may or may not be a member of the same BDSM club that drunken detective Karl Urban is a member (this is all just an excuse to get both Jovovich and Urban to wear bondage fetish gear).

Really, it's the oldest story in the book. Girl meet girl, they get it on. Girl discovers girl is her half-sister and they carry out an illicit affair in secret. Girl meets other girl. They get it on. Other girl becomes her step-mother. Somewhere somebody dies. A grizzled detective enters the scene. Girl-on-girl, have to work with each other to solve this crazy crime before it takes their lives, and maybe, just maybe, if they're lucky, they'll find a happy ending together. I swear I read this in the bible.

Wait, as long as Queen Latifah plays the jazz chanteuse with a deep, dark secret!

Ah, fuck yeah! When you're good to Mama, Mamaaaaaaaaaaa's good to youuuuuuu. Da da da da! I'm all over that.

Lena Headey in there somewhere

I feel like she should be paired up with Milla Jovovich at the BDSM club. Because ... *Janine can't come to the phone right now, she's in her bunk, please leave a message at the beep ... *beep**

[trancer21.livejournal.com]

*sigh* Someone, inspired by this conversation, may or may not have written over a thousand words regarding said conversation. Oh, and may have also cast Tom Welling as Megan Fox's older brother who rebelled against their man-whore of a Dad by joining the clergy.

I feel like she should be paired up with Milla Jovovich at the BDSM club.

Okay, that's it!! You need to win the lottery and get this movie made like TOMORROW!! I just keep imagining Jovovish as the semi-sane sister with her constantly running mascara and perpetually smeared lipstick, dressed up in fetish gear and yelling in Ukranian as Lena Headey spanks her ass!

[fembuck.livejournal.com]

*sigh* Someone, inspired by this conversation, may or may not have written over a thousand words regarding said conversation.

lol! ILU. I've done the same thing!

Oh, and may have also cast Tom Welling as Megan Fox's older brother who rebelled against their man-whore of a Dad by joining the clergy.

Sweet! I like it. I really like it. It clicks.

I just keep imagining Jovovish as the semi-sane sister with her constantly running mascara and perpetually smeared lipstick, dressed up in fetish gear and yelling in Ukranian as Lena Headey spanks her ass!

This is maybe the most beautiful sentence I've ever read. Also, I really like the idea of Lena being made up in the same style of Megan would wear in the movie, so that you get this sense - even though its not stated outright - that Milla's character (whom I've named Anna) really, really wants to be spanked by her younger sister, and that half of her insanity comes from currently unfulfiled sexual desire for her half-sister (who may or may not actually be her half-sister da da daaaaaaa!)