After seeing this picture, I really want ...

[fembuck]

... to see Megan Fox star in a noir film.  Like an old school, black and white (it must be filmed in black and white!), detective story set in the 50s or 60s, when even poor people dressed well and everyone sounded like they came from money (unless you were playing a country bumpkin, in which case you still had some down home southern charm).  I want her to have one of those little guns that femme fatale's used to keep in their clutch pursues (or strapped to their thighs) and whip out whenever someone sassed them.

I want her to wear smart outfits like these.
 
   




And, fuck yes this was an excuse to post a billion pictures of the ultimate HBIC, Lauren Bacall.  I will not apologize.  All of you can just shut up and appreciate the hell out of this awesome lady.  Her voice can make people jizz in their pants.  I'm pretty sure her smokey laugh once brought a baby panda back to life, so just deal with it! ;)

Then they need to like cast this bitch



And this fierce creature right here



To costar in it, wearing equally fabulous clothes as the ones shown off above.

I kind of want Milla to be like Megan's out of control, wild, crazy drug addicted sister who's always getting in trouble with the law, and shooting men in bars when they grab her ass.  She can spend half the movie with mascra running down her face, yelling things at people drunkly  from her jail cell.

And Olivia should be like, a mysterious woman from her past whom Megan has a rivalry (read tons of fucking sexual tension) with.  And they are forced to work together for some reason, and they are constantly pushing each others buttons and getting in each others faces, but they can't get away from each other, because they need each other.

I suppose the movie will need a male lead.  I don't care to speculate about that ;)  He will only be a pawn in Megan and Olivia's game of cat and mouse, and one upsmanship and sexual tension anyway.  They will probably have to get a British actor to find someone classy enough to star opposite these fine examples of femininity however.  

This handsome bastard



Or this handsome bastard


Or this handsome beast
 


would probably work quite well however (okay, I speculated anyway.  Sue me!)

I mean it.  Get her to a voice coach so that she can get the classic whiskey burr (0:20, just listen to that fucking voice!) down, and film this bitch.  I wanna see it so bad.

Comments

[sapphire-magick.livejournal.com]

OH MY GOD.

THIS! THIS! SO MUCH WIN!!!

I CAN'T EVEN. I LOVE YOU BRAIN!

[sapphire-magick.livejournal.com]

PS. Where did you get this first (Megan Fox) pic from?

[fembuck.livejournal.com]

It's the last picture in this (http://community.livejournal.com/ohnotheydidnt/36331232.html) thread. I just made it black and white myself because I think black and white makes things classier ;)

Megan's been rocking the 60s looks to a couple of the Transformers preimiere's and she wears it well. Get rid of the hot pink colour and its beautiful as hell.

[fembuck.livejournal.com]

*smile*

My brain is in a really happy place thinking about this imaginary project as well.

I'm going to be so sad when this movie is never made *sobs*

OH MY FUCKING GOD

[annechonps.livejournal.com]

your idea is so good, so sexy, so awesome, so full of fierceness and coolness (that word even exists?!) that THEY HAVE TO DO IT NOW. Because I can't get the idea out of my head.
FUCK, Megan and Olivia and the guy from Imagine Me And You that I completely forgot the name since I was busy picturing Wilfox sex in my head, but I think is really awesome. AND THE STORYLINE.
You have to at least write a fanfic (of your own idea) or something

Re: OH MY FUCKING GOD

[amluv.livejournal.com]

i just jizzed in my pants...thanks j...

Re: OH MY FUCKING GOD

[fembuck.livejournal.com]

Niiiice.

i just jizzed in my pants...

This makes me really, really happy in the pants. Really, really happy ... and damp ... in the pants.

Re: OH MY FUCKING GOD

[fembuck.livejournal.com]

your idea is so good, so sexy, so awesome, so full of fierceness and coolness (that word even exists?!) that THEY HAVE TO DO IT NOW.

I know! I wish I could like beam this post to some studio executive, and be like "JUST MAKE IT NAO!!!" You know people would go see it. Just show Megan and Olivia looking fine as fuck throughout the whole trailer (and maybe make it look like they're gonna kiss) and movie theaters will have people lining up out the ass to see it.

and the guy from Imagine Me And You that I completely forgot the name

Matthew Goode. He is charming as fuck, and pretty enough to hold his own against Megan and Olivia.

I was busy picturing Wilfox sex in my head

This would drive the best of us to distraction. I'm very impressed that you were even able to type in full sentences after having the braingasm that no doubt caused.

You have to at least write a fanfic (of your own idea) or something

I'm very tempted. That doesn't mean it will happen, since I'm great at thinking shit up and then not following through, but I'm very tempted, lol

[anitche.livejournal.com]

Hahaha, you could definitely produce a great movie ;)

[fembuck.livejournal.com]

God I wish I had money, and connections. Because, I know Megan would sign up if I told her she got to kiss Olivia Wilde and probably see her naked and maybe touch her boobs. And since Olivia made Year One, I'm pretty sure she'll star in anything for cash. And based on Matthew Goode's resume and Karl Urban's, and Henry Cavill's for that matter, I'm pretty sure I could get one of them simply by paying as well.

Hire a screen writer like the one for Brick, or Casino Royale or anyone who has written something decent, and I've got myself a fine as fuck movie.

God, being poor and insignificant sucks elephant balls *le sigh*

[gespawcho.livejournal.com]

BACALLLLLLLLLLL

and Urban.

[fembuck.livejournal.com]

Sexy muthafucka's, both of them.

I will love Lauren Bacall forever. She was the fiercest bitch to ever fierce, and I will always kind of hate modern Hollywood for not having anyone as awesome as her working today.

And I am, really, really into Caeser Karl Urban right now. I watched Star Trek, and then Doom (yes, I'm admitting to watching Doom) and since then I've been like, "I want Karl Urban to be in everything, and to flare is nostrils every five seconds!"

I kind of want him and Megan to be in a movie together, and they do nothing but be sexy and flare their nostrils. It would be awesome.

[billy-rose.livejournal.com]

Henry all the way if there has to be a guy in there
cuz like...
http://www.dunhillfragrances.com/en/dunhill-london/tv.asp
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5s3Y1NA29tA

[fembuck.livejournal.com]

Henry Cavill is so amazing looking. It's so strange, because I could look at pictures of him all day, but would not hit it. It's like he's too beautiful. I can't be attracted to him, lol.

Karl Urban I would hit like the fist of angry god, however. And I want to snuggle under a blanket all day, drinking wine and watching British sitcoms with Matthew Goode. He is adorable, and wears suits really, really well.

[billy-rose.livejournal.com]

Ah, however Olivia and Megan would only be using him as a pawn, after all, so they wouldn't need to hit it in the movie, and if you're going to have a pawn at all it should be a purdy one *nods*
besides, he got passed up for a bunch of roles - didn't get to be Cedric Diggory, didn't get to be Superman, didn't get to be James Bond
What better way to get him into more movies than to have Olivia Wilde and Megan Fox (numbers one and two, respectively, on Maxim's Hot 100 list of '09) toying with him?

[dollfleshdecay.livejournal.com]

Gawd YES! Megan fox with a small pistol strapped to her thigh. mmmm. And I could totally hear Olivia Wilde with a whiskey burr saying “Heya there Foxy, long time no see..” when she shows up from her past. You seriously need to pitch this idea to someone so they can make it! And all you would have to do to get Megan in on it would be to tell her she gets to kiss Olivia. And Olivia would do it to save the Mountain Ox.

("You know how to whistle, don't you, Steve? You just put your lips together and... blow.") Lauren Bacall! UNF! She was so beautiful and talented, she must be as old as dirt now. She could sing so freaking low, it's crazy. they named a vocal misuse disorder called Bogart-Bacall Syndrome (BBS) because they had chronic Dysphonia.

[fembuck.livejournal.com]

Megan fox with a small pistol strapped to her thigh.

I want this movie to exist simply so that I can see this before I die.

And all you would have to do to get Megan in on it would be to tell her she gets to kiss Olivia. And Olivia would do it to save the Mountain Ox.

This is what makes the concept so beautiful. Megan Fox would probably do it for free just to be able to make out with her girlcrush. There's no way she wouldn't sign on. And if Olivia is willing to be in Year One, she'll be in anything where they pay her, so she'd totally sign on two. And once you get both of them, nothing else really matters.

"You know how to whistle, don't you, Steve? You just put your lips together and... blow."

One of the hottest lines ever delivered on film.

they named a vocal misuse disorder called Bogart-Bacall Syndrome (BBS) because they had chronic Dysphonia.

That's crazy! I totally didn't know about that. BBS aside though, I totally love Bacall's voice. I think she has like the sexiest voice ever.

[slavefaith.livejournal.com]

Lauren Bacall FTW!!!!! Hell FTUniverse!

But does there have to be a male lead... can't the girls get it on. sigh. Or at least Milla has a parade of sexy girlfriends because she's a plaaaaaya. Ain't nothing break her stride, ain't nothing gonna hold her down... oh no... she's got to keep on moooooooooving.

[trancer21.livejournal.com]

And, fuck yes this was an excuse to post a billion pictures of the ultimate HBIC, Lauren Bacall.

One does not need an excuse to post Lauren Bacall picspam. It's more like a calling or something!

Hee!! And total YES to a lesbian film noir! I'll second slavefaith's post - why does there need to be a male in the picture? It's not like there's a deficit of 'movies made for dudes'! Although, I do approve of your Karl Urban casting choice. Maybe he could be like the pool boy or something where his sole purpose is to wander around shirtless with tools!

She can spend half the movie with mascra running down her face, yelling things at people drunkly from her jail cell.

Yelling in Ukrainian because she's the half-sister Megan Fox's character didn't know she had until like a couple years ago.

And Olivia should be like, a mysterious woman from her past whom Megan has a rivalry (read tons of fucking sexual tension) with.

For some reason, I'm picturing Wilde as the gold-digging stepmother. You know, Dad was a philander who couldn't keep it in his pants to save his life (genes he passed on to his daughter.. which also explains the crazy half-sister). He married Wilde for the arm candy, she married him for his money. Now they have to work together to solve his murder. If only they didn't want to fuck kill each other so badly!!

Wow, I've thought *way* too much about this!

[fembuck.livejournal.com]

I'll second [info]slavefaith's post - why does there need to be a male in the picture? It's not like there's a deficit of 'movies made for dudes'!

The dude was never gonna get the girl, but there's no reason to make it some strange sci-fi world where men don't exist. One of those dude's can be around and look pretty so that the straight girls will come see the movie, and the girls will use it and abuse it on their way to totally hot hatesex, and then lovesex with each other.

Yelling in Ukrainian because she's the half-sister Megan Fox's character didn't know she had until like a couple years ago.

After they'd already gotten drunk together, and had totally hot sex.

For some reason, I'm picturing Wilde as the gold-digging stepmother. You know, Dad was a philander who couldn't keep it in his pants to save his life (genes he passed on to his daughter.. which also explains the crazy half-sister). He married Wilde for the arm candy, she married him for his money. Now they have to work together to solve his murder. If only they didn't want to fuck kill each other so badly!!

Dude, I think you've just come up with a totally workable plot for this bitch. Only, I do what Karl to play a grizzled police detective who Megan and Olivia use in their wiley game of cat and mouse. They can tear him willingly apart on their way ... to each other!

[trancer21.livejournal.com]

The dude was never gonna get the girl, but there's no reason to make it some strange sci-fi world where men don't exist.

Lol, well, if the characters of Friends can live in a New York with *no* people of color, Megan Fox and Olivia Wilde can cavort in a world with no men! Okay, maybe they're like in the background or something, seen but not heard!!

After they'd already gotten drunk together, and had totally hot sex.

Pfft, well DUH!! With the way her Daddy was dipping his wick into anything on two legs, it's only logical that Megan's slept with a couple half-sisters she didn't know about until after the deed had been done! And now crazy half-sister Milla is all 'C'mon baby, it's not like you can get me pregnant. Just take me over Daddy's desk.. for old time's sake'. And Megan's all 'okay, fine, I'll finger you but I am *not* going down on you. I do have *some* morals after all'.

Only, I do what Karl to play a grizzled police detective who Megan and Olivia use in their wiley game of cat and mouse.

Well, okay fine! He can be the disgraced detective with issues with the bottle (heh, even better BDSM) who sees solving Philandering Dad's murder as his last shot at redemption which, you know, ultimately leads to his downfall.

In the end, all I want is a scene where either Fox or Wilde is wearing a suit and the other follows her to an underground lesbian club. There's jazz, lots of smoke and double entendres as they slow dance with each other!

[slavefaith.livejournal.com]

In the end, all I want is a scene where either Fox or Wilde is wearing a suit and the other follows her to an underground lesbian club. There's jazz, lots of smoke and double entendres as they slow dance with each other!

THIS OH MY GOD.

I heart you guys so much. Reading either one of your posts is like going to a fantasy land where I want to live forever.

Now if we could only slip in Michelle Fucking Rodriguez in there somewhere this would be the epics of the epics.

[fembuck.livejournal.com]

Now if we could only slip in Michelle Fucking Rodriguez in there somewhere this would be the epics of the epics.

Is it insane that a part of me resents Michelle Rodriquez, because in the fantasy world I created where I was dating Kristanna Loken, Michelle totally slept with her on the set of BloodRayne and consequently, in my imaginary dream world, Kristanna and I broke up?

*looks around*

I'm probably going to delete this in the morning *awkward laugh*

[slavefaith.livejournal.com]

Don't blame Kristanna.... a) It's Michelle Fucking Rodriguez and b) Uwe Boll film, I'm sure they had to go to each other in comfort because they realised it was such a terrible film.

Now as a good girlfriend you should have totally convinced Kristanna that it was a bad idea because... it's Uwe Boll and everything he touches magically goes to shit.

[fembuck.livejournal.com]

Pfft, well DUH!! With the way her Daddy was dipping his wick into anything on two legs, it's only logical that Megan's slept with a couple half-sisters she didn't know about until after the deed had been done! And now crazy half-sister Milla is all 'C'mon baby, it's not like you can get me pregnant. Just take me over Daddy's desk.. for old time's sake'. And Megan's all 'okay, fine, I'll finger you but I am *not* going down on you. I do have *some* morals after all'.

I am so in love with this idea. I mean *get a little misty-eyed* I really think this is turning into something beautiful. Into something special. It's just *gasp* It's all coming together.

'okay, fine, I'll finger you but I am *not* going down on you. I do have *some* morals after all'

BWAH!

In the end, all I want is a scene where either Fox or Wilde is wearing a suit and the other follows her to an underground lesbian club. There's jazz, lots of smoke and double entendres as they slow dance with each other!

This is a must. We need to recreate the shot of Greta Garbo, from Queen Christina. It had be like a Drag Queen piece that's going on in the lesbian jazz club of awesomeness. Cate Blanchett will play the role. I'm confident we could get Cate Blanchett because she was in that Indiana Jones movie, and that thing was a piece of shit. If we can't get Cate Blanchett, then ... someone else will do.

[trancer21.livejournal.com]

I am so in love with this idea. I mean *get a little misty-eyed* I really think this is turning into something beautiful.

Which is kinda scary when you think about it. But, really, it's not like we're asking for much - Fox/Wilde dancing together in a jazz club when they're not trying to fight/fuck each other, Milla Jovovich as Fox's kinda insane, opium smoking, incest loving, Ukrainian half-sister who may or may not be a member of the same BDSM club that drunken detective Karl Urban is a member (this is all just an excuse to get both Jovovich and Urban to wear bondage fetish gear). It's honestly a surprise this movie *hasn't* been made already!!

If we can't get Cate Blanchett, then ... someone else will do.

Wait, as long as Queen Latifah plays the jazz chanteuse with a deep, dark secret! And if Cate Blanchett won't play the Drag King then I suggest Gina Gershon.

Now, it's just a matter of figuring out how to shoehorn Michelle Rodriguez or, you know, Lena Headey in there somewhere.

[fembuck.livejournal.com]

But, really, it's not like we're asking for much - Fox/Wilde dancing together in a jazz club when they're not trying to fight/fuck each other, Milla Jovovich as Fox's kinda insane, opium smoking, incest loving, Ukrainian half-sister who may or may not be a member of the same BDSM club that drunken detective Karl Urban is a member (this is all just an excuse to get both Jovovich and Urban to wear bondage fetish gear).

Really, it's the oldest story in the book. Girl meet girl, they get it on. Girl discovers girl is her half-sister and they carry out an illicit affair in secret. Girl meets other girl. They get it on. Other girl becomes her step-mother. Somewhere somebody dies. A grizzled detective enters the scene. Girl-on-girl, have to work with each other to solve this crazy crime before it takes their lives, and maybe, just maybe, if they're lucky, they'll find a happy ending together. I swear I read this in the bible.

Wait, as long as Queen Latifah plays the jazz chanteuse with a deep, dark secret!

Ah, fuck yeah! When you're good to Mama, Mamaaaaaaaaaaa's good to youuuuuuu. Da da da da! I'm all over that.

Lena Headey in there somewhere

I feel like she should be paired up with Milla Jovovich at the BDSM club. Because ... *Janine can't come to the phone right now, she's in her bunk, please leave a message at the beep ... *beep**

[trancer21.livejournal.com]

*sigh* Someone, inspired by this conversation, may or may not have written over a thousand words regarding said conversation. Oh, and may have also cast Tom Welling as Megan Fox's older brother who rebelled against their man-whore of a Dad by joining the clergy.

I feel like she should be paired up with Milla Jovovich at the BDSM club.

Okay, that's it!! You need to win the lottery and get this movie made like TOMORROW!! I just keep imagining Jovovish as the semi-sane sister with her constantly running mascara and perpetually smeared lipstick, dressed up in fetish gear and yelling in Ukranian as Lena Headey spanks her ass!

[fembuck.livejournal.com]

*sigh* Someone, inspired by this conversation, may or may not have written over a thousand words regarding said conversation.

lol! ILU. I've done the same thing!

Oh, and may have also cast Tom Welling as Megan Fox's older brother who rebelled against their man-whore of a Dad by joining the clergy.

Sweet! I like it. I really like it. It clicks.

I just keep imagining Jovovish as the semi-sane sister with her constantly running mascara and perpetually smeared lipstick, dressed up in fetish gear and yelling in Ukranian as Lena Headey spanks her ass!

This is maybe the most beautiful sentence I've ever read. Also, I really like the idea of Lena being made up in the same style of Megan would wear in the movie, so that you get this sense - even though its not stated outright - that Milla's character (whom I've named Anna) really, really wants to be spanked by her younger sister, and that half of her insanity comes from currently unfulfiled sexual desire for her half-sister (who may or may not actually be her half-sister da da daaaaaaa!)

[madndizzee.livejournal.com]

LOL i love your picspams and wild and spectacular ideas! someone please write a script and shoot it! heck, a fic will almost do. btw i vote for Karl. although, who is that guy in the first pic??

[fembuck.livejournal.com]

btw i vote for Karl. although, who is that guy in the first pic??

Karl's my favorite choice too. In my head the grizzled detective is totally Karl.

The first guy is Henry Cavill, he's a British actor.

[ic1pher.livejournal.com]

Crazyness are like colors, not a big truck.
(I wrote a huge rant about craziness but deleted because it got embarassingly rant-y.)

[fembuck.livejournal.com]

OMFG may i say you're insane?

You certainly wouldn't be the first to say so ;)

now, with what do we have to bribe you to write this? cookies? artwork? icons?

I make no promises, but I think I'll at least attempt a script. I can't promise it'll be finished, but I'll try.

Artwork would be totally motivating though. *pictures manips of Olivia and Megan in 50s finery ... sighs dreamily and twirls*

[lost-dreamer23.livejournal.com]

WRITE THE SCREENPLAY.

CAST THEM.

GET FAMOUS.

THEN GO CHANGE YOUR PANTIES.

[fembuck.livejournal.com]

WRITE THE SCREENPLAY. CAST THEM. GET FAMOUS.

Oh, if only the world worked that way. I'm really, really into trying to write a script for it though. I just don't know if I'd ever get it finished *sobs*

THEN GO CHANGE YOUR PANTIES.

Yes ma'am!

[lost-dreamer23.livejournal.com]

I'm really, really into trying to write a script for it though. I just don't know if I'd ever get it finished *sobs*

In seventh grade, I took a virtual high school course on Screenplay Writing. I wrote a 51-page script. It's all about planning and dedication, bb.

Yes ma'am!
Good girl. <3

OMG HENRY CAVILL!

[lightbluenym.livejournal.com]

I.Jizz.In.My.Pants.

He's the one man on earth who if he walked into the room right now and said, "Get naked." I would. Without blinking or missing a beat.