...Best Damn Tapper! *Most Smartest*

OLIVIA WILDE AS THE BARONESS!!!!!!!!!!

Okay now that I've got you're attention ... step forward and have a seat, for I have a wondrous tale to tell!

It starts with two manfriends and I just getting back from the sketchy part of town which we trekked to in order to successfully buy some weed (not from some random, don't worry.  A teacher recommended him! lol!  Seriously). 

We got the weed.  We left the sketchy part of town.  We smoked the weed.  And then I watched a video that had Olivia Wilde dressed up like Baroness!

The End (it turns out this was a pretty short tale.  *shrug*  What can you do, that happens sometimes)

But you can stay seated, because I'm posting this wonderful motherfuckin' video right here on my LJ!  That's right, RIGHT HERE ON MY LJ!

It's called THE BALLAD OF G.I. JOE  (majestic isn't it?) and  it's like the funniest thing I've seen in a while (not counting I Love You Man which I saw a few days ago, cause that was some wicked funny shit as well!)

Feast your eyes and ears on this people!



There's a bunch of famous mutha's up in the vizzy.  For example:
Alexis Bledel as Lady Jaye
Billy Crudup as Zartan
Zach Galifiankais as Snow Job
Tony Hale as Dr. Mindbender
Vinnie Jones as Destro
Julianne Moore as Scarlett
Alan Tudyk as Shipwreck
Olivia Wilde as The Baroness

Well, these are the people I care about anyway.  There are more like Chuck Liddel (barf!  Retire already!), but I don't care to mention them.

Now let me leave by saying ... clarinets have NEVER been so sexy.  Seriously.  I want to go to a clarinet jam now, and just party hardcore.  I wants it.  I wants it bad and I wants it now.  Clarinet me up!

( CLICK IT! I DARE YOU! YOU CHICKEN! YOU SHIT! CLICK IT! ... .... did you click it? CLICK IT! If you don't click it that means you liked Scarlett Johansson's CD! CLICK IT! )


( Also, if I can't have Megan Fox, and Olivia Wilde can't have Megan Fox, and if some other random chick can't have Megan Fox ... what I'm saying here, is that if Megan Fox has to end up with a dude, is that I would LOL 4EVER and probably love it hardcore if she was with ... )

New Twilight footage from Mexico

(Alice enters the scene at 0:57 and exits at 1:37 in case you want to skip the "acting" that comes before/after her entrance)

There should have been a cheek kiss, but I think Ashley Greene brought as much gay to the scene as she could with KStew doing an impeccable impersonation of a 2x4 opposite her.  Seriously dude, Alice is all like "well, I'll see you soon", leaning towards Bella like she wants to rub up against her like a cat in heat, and Bella's all like "okay" in the most monotone voice ever.  UGH!  KStew's voice is the worst.

Ashley Greene is pretty much perfection from what I've seen so far though.  I'm digging her as Alice.  *coos*  She's cute as a button, that one.

All in all, this movie is gonna be so awkward.  I am going to be cringing my way through it.  I thought reading the book was bad, but hearing the horrible dialogue and seeing the awkward situations in motion is totally worse.  The only thing that I'm actually looking forward to is Alice (and since she's like the one good thing that I've seen about this movie, you know she'll like hardly be in it *sigh*).

P.S.  Is it just me, or does Jasper look majorly constipated?  Like Mexicana night at the Cullen's went horribly wrong or something.  I mean, I know he was a soldier, but in this clip he looks more like a soldier who really needs to poop.