OMG, funniest shit ever!

[fembuck]

For anyone out there who absolutely can't stand Edward Cullen, you have to read this! I've been laughing out loud for like the last half hour. This is just so, so, Edward. Only instead of pissing me off it makes me LOL til it hurts.

Edward Cullen is a 40 year old mother on a bad day

OMG, so good.

Comments

[trancer21.livejournal.com]

I have yet to read more than like a paragraph of any of the books, yet the epic wank coming from this fandom has been better than cable!!

"LOOK AT THIS SHIT IT'S A BATHTUB STICKER? WHO THE FUCK NEEDS THAT?"

Hee!

[fembuck.livejournal.com]

OMG, the books are so bad. So bad. I must have previously unidentified masochistic tendancies because I've read two of them, and am very, very slowly (painfully) making my way through the third. So, so horribly bad.

The hate and mockery that in inspires however, is wonderful.

oxymoronassoc: can you imagine emmett talking to edward about porn or something
saint_renegade: edward would be so disgusted
oxymoronassoc: edward would come in all huffy
oxymoronassoc: WHO HAS BEEN LOOKING AT THIS VILE FILTH ON THE COMPUTER? WHO?
oxymoronassoc: EMMETT!! I CANNOT BELIEVE YOU! THIS IS IRREPREHENSIBLE!!!!
saint_renegade: I MARCHED WITH WOMEN FOR THEIR RIGHT TO VOTE, EMMETT
saint_renegade: DO YOU THINK I AM GOING TO WATCH THEM BE PUT DOWN IN THIS WAY?
saint_renegade: AND ENJOY IT?

Just brilliant.

God, I hate Edward. I hate him so much. This however, gives him a reason for existing (has given me 10x the entertainment the books did).

[trancer21.livejournal.com]

I must have previously unidentified masochistic tendancies because I've read two of them, and am very, very slowly (painfully) making my way through the third.

Me and a friend made a pact to read the books together to share the pain. She's stuck on page 200 of Twilight. Me? I'm stuck on page one!

Oh, and have you read cleolinda's recaps of Breaking Dawn? Totally brilliant.

[sherlock-nomes.livejournal.com]

OMG *wipes tears from eyes* This wins so hard, I haven't even gotten through the whole conversation :D *reads and LOLs*

[sherlock-nomes.livejournal.com]

Btw, have you read The Most Popular Book in the Whole World? (http://xlormp.livejournal.com/) Also made of win. :D

[fembuck.livejournal.com]

Brilliant! I am so happy with all of this Twilight mockery. It makes my heart sing, the way Alice's movements would make a ballerina cry. So great. Thanks for the link :D

[fembuck.livejournal.com]

There's a sequel to it as well, and ICONS. Everything about this is win. I love it so much :D

[ashirashadow.livejournal.com]

omg, i love you for showing this to us.

I PAID $4.50 FOR THOSE STICKERS YOU DICKS

IT'S AN ELECTRONIC KEYBOARD OKAY!!!!

*laughs so hard* And the part about him going to his room! LOL!

oxymoronassoc: emmett has to drive the volvo home and IT RUINS HIS STREET CRED TO DRIVE THIS PUSSY CAR
saint_renegade: Edward has it on like pussy rock
saint_renegade: and Emmett has to put on 50 cent
oxymoronassoc: WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS SHIT? NICKELBACK?

Laughing. . .hard. . .funny!

I'll stop commenting and go read the rest. OMG! OH SHUT UP EDWARD THIS SHIT IS FLY

[fembuck.livejournal.com]

omg, i love you for showing this to us.

I glad I could help. Once I saw it, I knew I had to share the haterade with others!

I'll stop commenting and go read the rest.

Dude, this shit is epic. Quote away. I would totally be happy to just post my favorite parts, and read other people's again and again. Epic.

Emmett makes Edward watch porn:
saint_renegade: why is this woman sleeping with the pool boy?
saint_renegade: WHAT COULD HE OFFER HER?
oxymoronassoc: HE CAN'T MAKE MORE THAN $22,000 A YEAR
oxymoronassoc: THAT WILL NOT SUPPORT HER
oxymoronassoc: I AM SUSPICIOUS OF THEIR ALLEGED LOVE
oxymoronassoc: IT IS UNPURE
saint_renegade: I DO NOT SEE THE CONNECTION HERE
saint_renegade: THIS FILM HAS FAILED TO MAKE ME BELIEVE THEIR RELATIONSHIP AT ALL
oxymoronassoc: EMMETT YOU CAN SEE THE BOOM MIC
oxymoronassoc: THE PRODUCTION VALUE IS SHODDY AT BEST
saint_renegade: IT IS LAZY
oxymoronassoc: COULD THEY NOT AFFORD MORE FABRIC FOR THE COSTUMES?
saint_renegade: FRANKLY, IT SEEMS LIKE THIS WAS MADE ON A SUNDAY AFTERNOON
oxymoronassoc: I DO NOT BELIEVE A LADY COP WOULD DRESS IN SUCH A MANNER
saint_renegade: I'VE SEEN BETTER STUDENT FILMS
oxymoronassoc: IT IS TERRIBLY UNPROFESSIONAL
saint_renegade: SHE HAS WORKED HARD TO BE RESPECTED IN A MALE DOMINATED FIELD
saint_renegade: SHE WOULD NOT THROW IT AWAY BY SLEEPING WITH FIVE MEMBERS OF THE FORCE AT ONCE
oxymoronassoc: WHY MUST WE SUBJUGATE HER IN THIS MANNER?
saint_renegade: they are NEVER going to catch the killer this way!
oxymoronassoc: THE BLATANT OBJECTIFICATION OF WOMEN IN THIS FILM OFFENDS ME DEEPLY
saint_renegade: I PRAY TO THE LORD YOU DO NOT TREAT ROSALIE IN SUCH A MANNER

[escritoireazul.livejournal.com]

I know, right? Isn't that the most awesome thing ever? This is why I read the books (all of them, I've read ALL FOUR OF THEM, I must be some sort of god) because the snark and mocking is absolute gold. GOLD.

Did you read cleolinda's recaps of them? Her commentary on Breaking Dawn is the best, but they are all hilarious.

[fembuck.livejournal.com]

Isn't that the most awesome thing ever?

Trufax. Trufax. I want to marry these girls. It is the greatest thing ever, and it makes me feel better about reading Twilight. It like justifies it, so that I can LOL at everything they're saying.

I've read ALL FOUR OF THEM, I must be some sort of god

*bows down* I am truly in awe of your fortitude and courage. I cried a little today as I tried to make it through the fourth chaper of Eclilpse. I'm not sure I'm going to make it. There's too much Bella/Edward, and too much Edward being a total tool. I'm gonna try though. Maybe I can get demi-god status, lol

Did you read cleolinda's recaps of them?

I'm totally going to now! Thanks for the heads up :D

[trancer21.livejournal.com]

Oh and, dude, in between reading cleolinda's recaps you totally have to see THIS!! It's like a Twilight anti-depressant in animated .gif form!

[fembuck.livejournal.com]

Genius. Pure genius. I think the one with Prince is my favorite. So mesmerizing.

I feel so bad for RPattz. I hope he's too high to figure out how to use the interweb. It would make him so sad to see what people are doing with his face.

... actuallly, if he was high enough (which is probably a given) it would probably amuse the shit out of him

.gif FTW!

[handyhunter.livejournal.com]

It is awesome! *points to icon* This series/fandom gets more and more entertaining.

(here via resolute's flist, by the way. Hope you don't mind.)

[fembuck.livejournal.com]

This series/fandom gets more and more entertaining.

Oh, I know. I love it for the fan response. The series is utter trash, but what it has inspired people to create is beautiful.

here via resolute's flist, by the way. Hope you don't mind.

Not at all! Welcome aboard :D Hope to see more of you around :D

[bartzina13.livejournal.com]

I listened to the first six hours of the first book and damn near died laughing. The woman they got to read it is truly ~gifted~.

[fembuck.livejournal.com]

I listened to the first six hours of the first book and damn near died laughing.

I tried reading the first page like 10 times before I was able to get through it without loling.

The woman they got to read it is truly ~gifted~.

If it's the same woman they got to read Eclipse, I understand completely. It's frickin' horrible. Her Edward voice makes me die a little inside. And because Alice is my favorite, I'm really critical of her Alice voice as well. I mean, listening to it on my ipod means that I don't have to sit around reading it, and that people can't judge me (like I did when I saw a woman carrying around Breaking Dawn yesterday), but it introduces a new pain to the experience.

[trancer21.livejournal.com]

*Psst*!! Hurry before it gets yanked off the intarwebs - the first 12 chapters of Midnight Sun!!

[fembuck.livejournal.com]

*grabs hair* OMG, I do not know if I want to torture myself with this (though of course I downloaded it).

Have you read any of it? Is it torturous, or are there enough LOLZ to make it worth reading?

DAMN YOU TWILIGHT! I THOUGHT I HAD QUIT YOU!

[my-winter-love.livejournal.com]

Thank you so much for introducing me to this amazingness. My life was somehow incomplete without it.

[fembuck.livejournal.com]

Isn't it fabulous? This totally made torturing myself with 2 1/3 of these books worth it. Literally hours of entertainment.

P.S. I love the icon, love it. 'An alive person', lol.

[lightbluenym.livejournal.com]

OMG, that was the funniest thing I've ever read! I made the mistake of reading this while my roomie was asleep...*looks sheepish*.

"HE WOULD SEETHE AS HE PRESSED HIS WILDFLOWERS"- Win. As was "I don't make fun of your hobbies!"

[fembuck.livejournal.com]

OMG, that was the funniest thing I've ever read!

Isn't it genius. I don't know who those girls are, but they two of the funniest people I have ever encounter. Growing Up Cullen is endless hours of entertainment.

I made the mistake of reading this while my roomie was asleep...*looks sheepish*.

My roomate wasn't asleep, but he did look at me like I was fucking crazy as I cackled my head off. I actually showed some of it to him yesterday and he thought it was hilarious even though he has no idea what Twilight is (and after my rants really doesn't want to know)

Hahahaaha, I just got to page 2

[lightbluenym.livejournal.com]

SWADDLE HER FROM NECK TO ANKLE. IT IS THE ONLY WAY SHE WILL FEEL CLEAN.

I don't think I've ever laughed this hard in my life. My roomie thinks I'm nuts...

Re: Hahahaaha, I just got to page 2

[fembuck.livejournal.com]

SWADDLE HER FROM NECK TO ANKLE. IT IS THE ONLY WAY SHE WILL FEEL CLEAN.

That whole bit had me in stitches, with the horse and the boom mike and everything. OMG. I swear, comic geniuses. These girls should have their own show where they mock shit professionally. I would watch it, I would watch the hell out of it.

So funny.